All That I Am
by Roxie Archer
Summary: Kurogane never expected a simple errand to lead him to his destiny or for a stranger who was anything but simple to become his entire world. KuroxFai
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is the intellectual property of CLAMP

Author's Note: Well here it is, my major Tsubasa project. It won't pick up that high rating until later. I hate that when I indent for a new paragraph, fanfiction dot net won't pick that up, so I've decided to try a small separation in place of indentation. Let me know if that helps a little with the spacing or if it didn't matter in the slightest.

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

______________________________

_**Part 1, Chapter 1**_

"…Goddamnit."

-

New Chicago was a terrible city. It was cold, damp, and the crime rate was through the roof. Standing beneath the sickly yellow light of a flickering streetlamp, the tall, disgruntled man with his short spikes of dark-hair and his worn full-length black trench coat might have looked right at home, if not for the poorly drawn map in his hands, which he twisted upside down…again with another growl.

If nothing else was said of this man, he had loved his mother dearly. She had been like a warm light in his life and he would never speak ill of her, god rest her soul, but the woman couldn't have drawn a map to save her life.

Giving up with an irritated grunt as he shoved the crumpled paper back into his pocket, further crumpling it in the process, the man stalked on down the street in the direction he had originally been heading, narrowed crimson eyes just daring another mugger to try something. He'd already beaten down four of them in the last two hours and he was getting in a good mood for a fifth.

-

Coming to an intersection, the dark man noticed that the traffic had picked up slightly and the street lamps down either direction were in miraculous working order. Then he noticed why. Beneath those lamps milled prostitutes of all flavors, both to his left and right and cars pulled to the sides of the road, drivers closing deals and opening passenger doors. The man rolled his eyes but after two hours of searching he refused to avoid them now. It would have been a pain to come back the next day to find out the place he was looking for was just down this street so standing tall, he turned right and kept his eyes past the colorfully outfitted, and in some cases, genuinely attractive individuals and trained on the shops behind them.

The cat calls began almost immediately. The man frowned sullenly. He had kind of hoped he could somehow will himself to blend into the shadows, at least a little.

"Hey baby, good times right here."

"I can take it _all_ sweetie."

"Customers aren't allowed to walk the street, little boy. I think someone needs to be punished."

The dark haired man cringed at the sharp crack of a whip to his left.

"_Hyuu! _What a cute puppy!"

_Damn._ The dark man realized his mistake the instant he'd made it. He looked. And now it was too late, far too late. The instant his head had snapped toward the voice it had been an unspoken invitation. And now that he saw the voice's owner, he could feel a pit of dread well in his stomach.

Gliding toward him as though the laws of gravity had lent him a free pass, was a willowy, fair-haired…something. Dressed in a flowing pale blue skirt that swayed as he moved and would surely have, on any other human being, fallen right off for as low as it was fixed, the dark-haired man could hardly think of this person as a _man_, not in the sense he had ever known. The blonde's chest was covered tightly by a pale blue bodice bearing the same swirling black design as the skirt and affixed to his arms were golden armbands that held up flowing sleeves that moved with the grace of his skirt as the blonde flowed toward him giving an almost underwater effect. It was mesmerizing to watch. And therein lay mistake number 2 because he could not tear his eyes away no matter how he wanted to.

The aquatic fairy finally reached him, aqua eyes glimmering with mirth above a smile that somehow solidified the feeling in the pit of the dark man's stomach to a full-fledged rock. And finally, _finally_ his body did what he asked it to and crimson eyes narrowed in what the blonde obviously was not taking as threateningly but seemed instead to be interpreting as an invitation to get acquainted.

A pale hand slid up his chest intimately as striking blue eyes somehow adverted his attention from the hand to the face and the smile widened.

"Or should I say _dog_." The sultry voice slipped right through the man as it was intended to but the words themselves reminded the man why he'd turned in the first place.

"Get off me." he ordered, grabbing the thin wrist in his hand harshly and he would have thrown it back at the blonde, had he not slipped away before he could even finish speaking.

"I'm not here for that shit."

The blond had moved around him and now was wrapping himself around his arm. "_Nyaa! _I like it rough." In an instant the man was in front of him again, slipping that hand of his around his neck as he leaned up to whisper in his ear. "I'll purr for you."

The dark man blushed and shoved the other away. "I said no. I'm not here for that."

"I'm Fai, what's your name?"

The blonde's smile was making him sick again and the dark man contemplated ignoring him but that didn't really seem possible. Maybe if he just convinced him to leave, he could continue his search in peace.

"Kurogane. Now go away."

"Mmmm….I bet Kuro-pu could make me scream."

The dark man gave _Fai_ a disgusted look and shoved him away. "It's _Kurogane_, not _Kuro-pu _and I have no intention of doing _anything_ with you. I'm looking for a building, not a whore." Kurogane pulled the crumpled map out of his pocket and waved it under the blonde's nose as proof.

But instead of being deterred, the blonde's eyes widened with excitement and he snatched the paper away, dancing out of Kurogane's reach as he lunged to get it back.

"Well, that's different then!" Fai declared. "That makes this meeting destiny because I've lived in this city almost my whole life and there isn't anything I can't find." Fai made a show of studying the map, turning it this way and that and just as Kurogane was about to sigh and tell him it not to bother, Fai threw an arm in the air and shouted "That way!" pointing back the way he'd come and then proceeded to lead the way without any confirmation from Kurogane whatsoever.

"You know, you're lucky you found me Kuro-rin or you'd have been circling this city for ages though I'm not sure why anyone would want to go there. Are you sure you know where you're going Kuro-chuu?"

"Will you shut up with the names already?! I told you, it's Kurogane. _Kurogane!_"

"You know, Kuro-ta," Fai went on as though he hadn't heard Kurogane at all "I'm doing something nice for you, so it's only fair for you to return the favor, right?" Fai stopped mid-step forcing Kurogane to stop with him and smiled happily in Kurogane's direction.

Kurogane was quickly growing to hate that smile. "How much?" he grunted, figuring he knew the drill by now. One couldn't expect anything for free after all.

"Oh, it's nothing like that." Fai assured him, smiling in what Kurogane assumed was meant to be pacifistic. "I've been thinking of leaving this city for a while and you look like a traveling man, all strong and capable," he added, clinging to Kurogane's arm once more and feeling his coat sleeve for the musculature beneath. Satisfied at finding it, he continued "so take me with you."

Kurogane shook his arm violently and put his foot down. "Forget it."

"Oh, not for this, Kuro-wanwan, silly. I'll pay you in full when we back to your hotel. Anything you want, as long as you want. I'm _very_ good. People have to order ahead for me on Saturdays. Good thing it's a Tuesday."

Kurogane stared down at the creature fondling his coat and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Your mother must be very proud."

The smile widened but the eyes looked away and Kurogane thought he might have struck something so he pressed on. Anything was better than the disgustingly fake smile the blonde wore plastered to his face like he thought no one else could tell it was a cheep mask.

"I told you I don't want a whore. Especially not one whose already spread his legs for half the population and I wouldn't travel with you if I was hanging off a ledge and you offered to pull me up in exchange."

Maybe he'd went too far, Kurogane realized, when the face turned down to the sidewalk below. But it was too late to take it back now.

"I'll be submissive, if that's what you want." The blonde's voice was quieter now, subdued. "If you're angry, I won't complain if you're rough. Make me bleed or leave me tied but take me with you. I'll do it every night for you, anything. I'll be anything you want."

"Are you deaf or just stupid?" Kurogane growled, clearly punctuating every word in an attempt to get through to the blonde. "I told you I don't want that shit. Are you going to show me where this is or not?" And this time he succeeded in commandeering the map from the smaller man.

Fai let it go without complaint and returned his gaze to Kurogane's with an acquiescing smile.

"Kuro-pi's getting annoyed. We'll talk about it in the morning, then." and Fai patted his arm as though he were merely humoring the larger man, treating him like a child.

"_Of course I'm annoyed!_" Kurogane yelled. "_I told you…_"

"Aa, aa," Fai chided. "let's not fight." One finger was tapped against his nose as the blonde danced out of his reach, clearly anticipating his actions before he could even think them. Of course, that didn't stop Kurogane from doing them anyway and he gave chase after the other man who seemed to like this new "game" of his.

Fai laughed as he rounded a corner into an alley Kurogane had not gone down and when Kurogane attempted to follow he nearly slammed into the smaller man.

"_**What the hell!**_"

Fai didn't respond, just pointed silently to the wall ahead of them and Kurogane followed his extended finger to a broken, boarded window and a door he might not have noticed if not for its beaten knob. Above the door hung a faded sign and Kurogane could just make out the words '_Green Drugstore_'.

"It used to be a pharmacy." Fai said, pulling Kurogane back from the pit he was sinking into as he realized that this was indeed the place on his mother's map. "Or that's what they used to call it. It was run by someone who didn't belong here…and then he left." Fai turned back to Kurogane finishing his statement with an upbeat tone and a smile to match. "It's been gone for a good five years or so now. You're very late Kuro-chii. I think your prescription's run out by now."

Kurogane frowned, looking back down to the map in his hands, catching himself hoping it could suddenly change itself to tell him what he should do now. He hated that feeling.

"Do you know where they went?"

Fai tilted his head to the side as he regarded Kurogane with a look of curiosity mixed with what might have been pity and if this hadn't been so _very_ important, Kurogane would have told him to just forget it, damnit.

"No." Fai answered finally. "But then, I wasn't a customer either. Maybe somebody who _was_ a customer would know…? I might be able to find someone tomorrow…if I had a good night's sleep first, in a nice warm bed…" Fai added pointedly, leaning toward Kurogane with a leering grin "…safe in Kuro-sama's arms."

"Forget it, I'll do it myself." Kurogane turned and absolutely refused to look back.

Fai laughed behind him. "Let me know how that goes Kuro-chan. If it helps, picture me."

Kurogane choked but to his credit, he did not turn back, merely stomped out of the alley and straight back to his cheep hotel, his face a dark crimson for nearly the entire trip. His only solace was that he had not allowed the blonde to see it.

* * *

Kurogane had purposefully chosen the closest hotel he could find to his general destination - which meant that when he climbed the stairs to his room, he was not surprised to find the door standing open and his clothes strewn across the rumpled bed.

Kurogane slammed the door shut behind him, scooped his clothes back into the duffle bag they'd come from and propped the room's single chair beneath the door handle to replace the lock that should have been above it but wasn't.

Pulling his trench coat off with a sigh, he reached into an inner pocket and drew out an envelope, sitting on the floor with it as he retrieved the letter from inside. With a care that he had not shown the map, Kurogane unfolded the letter and prayed for the memorized words to bring him some kind of new insight he'd somehow missed the dozens of times he'd read it before.

_My Dear Beloved Son,_

_If you are reading this letter it means I have passed from this world. I am sorry I could not have been there for you longer but know that I rest happily with your father and am proud of the man you have become._

_You have grown to possess all of the honor and courage that your father and I could ever have hoped for and thus, there is something I must ask of you, a task which you must complete in our stead, for the future lies in your hands and the time to seize it has finally come._

_I fear you may not remember this, but when you were young, just after your father passed away, you and I took a trip to New Chicago together and there met a man named Kakei-san at his pharmacy called the Green Drugstore. He is a friend of the family and is holding onto another letter for you._

_I ask you now to retrieve that letter from him and to follow the instructions I have laid out within. Be assured, it is very important to not only yourself and many other individuals involved, but also to the very world that you live in. I have every faith and confidence in you and know that you will succeed where others have failed._

_This is my final wish, and my final farewell. Be well, my son. Find happiness and love and a life worth fighting for, for therein will you discover the meaning of true strength. Cherish everything and know that no matter where you go, you are deeply loved._

Kurogane refolded the letter and returned it to its envelope and in turn, the envelope to his coat pocket with a sigh. If this _Kakei-san_ person was a friend of the family that would mean that his parents had to have crossed paths with him earlier in their lives. The problem was that Kurogane knew very little of his parent's lives before his birth and his mother seemed no more eager to divulge information now than she had been in all the years he'd known her. It all led him in a circle right back to the place he'd started from and that didn't help him one little bit.

He could take the blonde's idea and go door to door looking for past customers and past gossip but even Kurogane was willing to admit that was a bit of a long stretch. Obviously the blonde had known exactly who to talk to when he'd mentioned it and the logical thing to do would be to accept his help, take him to the next city with him and dump him off there.

Kurogane groaned and fell back onto the floor, hoping to get at least a little sleep before he subjected himself to an entire day of that idiot's company.

* * *

Kurogane was up and out of the room at the crack of dawn. This time he taped a note to his duffle bag when he left it sitting just where he'd left it yesterday: _Touch it again and die._ He could have locked it in his trunk with the rest of his luggage but he hadn't done that yesterday and he was far too stubborn to do it now.

Pulling on his trench coat, Kurogane tromped down the stairs and threw open the hotel's front door. A whirl of color immediately accosted his vision as a figure on the steps stood and twirled around on one foot to face him.

"Good morning, Kuro-woof! Isn't it a beautiful day!"

Kurogane was far too paralyzed by the _thing_ in front of him to respond. It wasn't the fact that the blonde had obviously followed him to his hotel the previous night, or even that he had been waiting there for him for God knew how long. What short-circuited Kurogane's brain was the _outfit_ Fai was wearing. A brightly rainbow colored miniskirt that could have been spotted three blocks away rested low on his hips beneath a sleeveless tye-dyed shirt. His neck was tied with a blue ribbon with a perfect bow resting against his left shoulder. He smiled brilliantly up at Kurogane like the loon he obviously was with one hand shielding his eyes from the non-existent glare of the sun. After a brief moment of early morning shock, Kurogane deduced that he _could not_ deal with this and promptly turned right back around and reentered the hotel, letting the door close soundly behind him.

Muffled words that vaguely sounded of whining followed but Kurogane ignored them, determined to go back to sleep and try this again. Maybe the next time he left the building the world would have settled into some semblance of normalcy.

He never got the chance to test his theory however, because the blonde proved to be far more persistent than he had ever given him credit for - which was saying something after last night. Kurogane found himself glad that as soon as he left this city he would never see the people who were staring at him as he tried to out-walk Fai down the sidewalk again.

"Don't you have any dignity at all?" he hissed when Fai, inevitably, caught up to him.

"What do you mean, Kuro-chan?" the blonde asked, all innocence, like he hadn't the faintest idea of what Kurogane's problem might be.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean." Kurogane hissed back angrily. "You did this just to embarrass me."

"Did what?" Fai persisted innocently.

"_Wore that!_" Kurogane yelled, finally losing his temper.

Fai grinned back, telling Kurogane that he'd gotten exactly the reaction he'd been hoping for and said "Doesn't Kuro-koi want everyone to know how happy I am to be with him? Bright colors say _happy_, Kuro-rin, you might try wearing them yourself sometime, then maybe you wouldn't be such a broody puppy." Fai crooned and he actually had the audacity to reach up and pinch Kurogane's cheeks.

Kurogane shook with rage and finally he shouted loudly and lunged for the blonde, chasing him down the sidewalk with promises of pain to the tune of Fai's unique tinkling laugh that floated back to him like the music of a wind chime.

Fai took shelter on the steps of a brownstone and by the time Kurogane caught up, he'd already rung the doorbell and shushed him. "We're here."

Kurogane glowered at Fai, trying to psychically convey murderous intent through the back of his blonde head until suddenly the door in front of them swung open revealing an old woman who looked up at Fai, blinking as she adjusted her glasses on her nose.

"Don't worry," Kurogane grumbled. "it isn't your sight, it's really him."

"Well I must say, I haven't seen anything so colorful since my granddaughter last visited." the woman replied to Fai who smiled down at her happily and after a moment she returned his smile and stepped aside to allow him entry.

Kurogane was dumbfounded. His only explanation for all this insanity was that the city must have been founded by mental patients who'd escaped their hospital. Regardless, he followed Fai inside and sat where the woman indicated them to sit on her couch, covered by an afghan that screamed of old people. She herself sat across from them in a plush armchair, waving her hand at a plate of cookies on the coffee table between them. Fai thanked her and helped himself to one while Kurogane waited patiently for the white rabbit to make its appearance.

"Now then," the woman finally stated, sinking into the chair comfortably. "I don't often get such colorful visitors." She seemed to be ignoring Kurogane entirely. "To what do I owe this visit?"

"Excuse me." Kurogane interjected, holding up a hand before Fai could answer. "I don't mean to be rude here but doesn't it strike you as just a little odd for two complete strangers to just show up on your front porch? I mean, who in their right mind lets _this_" and here he pointed over at Fai "into their house without a second thought?"

The woman smiled a him in much the way he imagined she must smile at children when explaining the obvious. "Child, at my age, one learns to age gracefully, judge people by instinct, and fear very little. Years of wisdom have taught me that I am in no place to judge others and that the only way to have an adventure is to take some risks."

Fai's smile widened and softened as he gained new respect for the old woman and took his turn to explain their visit.

The woman rubbed her chin as she sat in thought. "The Green Drugstore…" A moment passed in silence as she recalled the years and Kurogane and Fai waited and hoped for their clue. "There was a man who didn't work there, if I remember correctly. He made deliveries sometimes to the older customers. I met him out front one day while I was talking to my neighbor and he came to bring her medicine. He was a fine young man." She smiled with the memory. "Sort of like your friend there, only with a sense of humor."

Fai snickered at that but Kurogane didn't find it funny at all.

"I'm sorry but I can't seem to remember his name and my neighbor passed on last year too." She pitied her guest's crestfallen faces and endeavored to cheer them up. Reaching forward she scrawled an address on a piece of notebook paper sitting on the coffee table and tore the sheet off, holding it out to Fai. "You could try going there. Some of the ladies who met there for book club might have been customers of that store and especially the woman who lives there. I know she hired them out on an odd job a time or two. They did odd jobs, too." she explained and Fai nodded, accepting the paper with a smile, thanking her for her help.

As they left the woman's house, something she said stuck in Kurogane's head and refused to leave him alone. _'The only way to have an adventure is to take some risks.' _He wondered if his mother had known all alone that this wouldn't be as easy as she made it sound. _Just go pick up the letter and follow the proverbial yellow brick road._ Yeah right.

"Kuro-chan, this isn't very far away." Fai was looking at the paper in his hands as they walked down the sidewalk. "Let's go there now."

Kurogane grunted in agreement and tried very hard to ignore all the people staring at them as they walked by. He was getting tired of it. Even if it was Fai's fault for wearing…_that_…it still wasn't any of their business. Finally, he snapped at a woman they passed who was watching Fai over her shoulder.

"Mind your own business."

* * *

The next address was a brownstone too but this time the woman who answered looked down her nose at them with clear distaste.

"Can I help you?" she prompted impatiently.

This time Kurogane took the initiative. "I'm looking for information on where the man who ran the Green Drugstore moved to."

"_Drugstore_ my lily ass." the woman returned and Kurogane's eyebrows hiked to his hairline. If they hadn't just left mother goose's fairy tale land he might have expected this reaction a bit more, as it was, well, he had kind of expected more of the same. He chalked it up to naivety and resolved not to mention it at all.

"That _person_ is lucky that he left. The item I purchased from him was defective and do you know what happened when I marched straight down to that dump to return it? He was already gone, that's what. It's what comes of having…people like that living among decent folk." And here she looked directly at Fai, her nose wrinkled in disgust. "One day soon, this city will cease to cater to the degenerates who walk the streets freely instead of knowing their place."

Kurogane was quickly getting disgusted himself. He hated people like this woman, who acted as though they were better than everyone else. If he were less of a gentleman, he'd introduce that snotty little nose of hers to his fist.

Fai, however, continued to smile amicably. "Perhaps if you could tell us where he went some of your problems could go there too."

The woman seemed to be taken aback that Fai had spoken to her and stepped back into the house. "If I believed that I would have broadcasted it on a loudspeaker years ago." she retorted curtly. "I heard once that he was going to California and it's just as well. California is very far from here." And at that, she slammed the door in their faces.

Kurogane growled. "It's also huge! Where at in California! Hey, bitch!" Kurogane was about to pound on the door when Fai took his arm and tugged him away.

"We'll keep looking."

"Hey," Kurogane challenged, turning on the blonde "why did you let her talk to you like that? You don't have to put up with that shit."

Fai smiled hollowly and looked away. "It doesn't matter. Getting upset over such small things doesn't help anything."

Kurogane yanked his arm away angrily and descended the steps in a huff.

-

At the foot of the steps they were met by a homeless man, pushing a shopping cart. He looked a little out of place in front of the brownstone with his unshaven face and multiple layers of clothing and Kurogane had every intention of ignoring him all together, but Fai smiled at the man and told him good morning and the man reached out, grasping Fai's arm as the blonde walked past. Fai stopped curiously and looked down at the man patiently.

"I heard what you said up there." He pointed up the steps and Fai politely glanced back over his shoulder as the man released his arm.

Kurogane was about to tell the man they didn't have time to waste on conversation when the man spoke again.

"That woman lives in her own world. That's why she said the thing she got from Kakei didn't work. Because that thing only works in the real world."

Kurogane started. "Kakei? You knew Kakei-san?"

The man nodded solemnly at Kurogane. "Kakei was a good man to people like us." and he grinned up at Fai who returned his smile understandingly. "He never should have given her that thing." he said, turning back to Kurogane. "She didn't deserve it. Would you like to see it?" he whispered conspiratorially.

Kurogane found himself nodding in spite of himself and the man reached down deep into his cart filled with garbage and soda cans. His hands returned clutching an unassuming wooden box. "It's luck in a box." he declared and Kurogane nearly fell over. Fai, on the other hand, marveled at the thing, eyes sparkling with wonder. "Just open it up and you have luck." the man went on confidently.

"Wow." Fai declared, eyes wide in wonder.

"Oh, please." Kurogane scoffed. "Don't tell me you actually believe that bullshit. Luck in a box? How lucky could it possibly be, you're still homeless old man." he pointed out diplomatically.

"Yup, that's just what she said." the man declared, jerking a thumb up the steps of the brownstone.

Kurogane did not take kindly to being compared to that woman.

"I'm sure it must work in mysterious ways, Kuro-tan." Fai said with conviction.

The man nodded in agreement. "Just look. It helped me find all of these." and the man waved a hand over his shopping cart filled with cans. "Why, I'll eat for a week just off this."

Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Would you like to have it?" the man asked, taking Fai's hands in his own and placing the box between them.

Fai's eyes widened and he tried to let it go but the man had removed his hands already. "Oh, we couldn't possibly. How would you ever get by without it? And we don't have anything to give you in return."

Kurogane couldn't believe this ridiculousness. Why was he even still _standing there_, he wondered.

The homeless man shook his head resolutely. "No. It's been with me for near on five years now, ever since her majesty up there chucked it in the garbage. Luck is meant to go around. I'm sure someday you'll find somebody else who needs it more than you do and you can pass it on too. Until then, who knows, it might just save your life one day."

"He's just trying to get rid of it!" Kurogane yelled, trying desperately to bring some sanity into this situation.

"Nothing happens by chance." The man declared, giving him a stern look. "You think it was just coincidence that you came here today, now, when I almost never come here and met me? It was not. It was destiny. And it is destiny, too, that you'll find Kakei. And I'll tell you, he said he would like to see the new coastline again." With a nod, the man patted Fai's hands, holding the wooden box, and left them, walking slowly away down the sidewalk.

Kurogane forgot about the "luck in a box". _He wanted to see the new coastline again._ That meant Kakei-san had come from Japan, like his parents, and had crossed California to come here. Years ago, before he had been born, in his parent's time, a massive earthquake had carved southern California a new coastline. At least now he had a clue.

* * *

"Would Kuro-min like a muffin?" Fai asked, holding half of one out for him.

Kurogane stared for a minute. They were half-way back to his hotel and hadn't made any stops unless he'd been severely tuned-out and missed the entire experience of stopping somewhere to buy food, which was impossible as far as he was concerned. One eye began to twitch as he watched the blonde pull minute pieces off of the large blueberry muffin and place them purposefully in his mouth, cleaning his fingers with his lips as he retracted them.

"**Where in the hell were you **_**keeping **_**that?!**" he shouted.

Fai's grin widened lecherously and his half-lidded eyes sparkled beneath long lashes. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"_Oh dear God._" Kurogane turned back, regretting that he'd ever acknowledged the blonde in the first place and quickened his pace. He could _feel_ the blonde quicken his own to keep up with him. "I am leaving this city right now, do you hear me? I'm not staying here a second longer."

"Ok." Fai quipped, walking with a slight bounce in his step that made his skirt's light material jerk about erratically…not that Kurogane was looking or had noticed. Kurogane glared at the people unfortunate enough to be walking around in front of him.

-

When Kurogane returned to his hotel room, he found that the contents of his duffle bag had once more been scattered across the bed, except that today, the duffle back itself had been put back right where he'd left it, with his note still sitting on top of it. Kurogane grabbed the note, crumpling it in his fist with a growl. Then he kicked the bed for good measure.

"Hyuu!" Fai fake-whistled from the doorway. "Kuro-sama left quite a mess this morning."

"_I didn't leave it like this you idiot!_" he yelled, turning his fury on the blonde. "_Someone's been in here!_"

Fai put his fingers in his ears and squinted his eyes at the noise. "Ok, ok, calm down, I believe you. Kuro-woof's bark is very loud."

"_I told you it's Kurogane! Not Kuro-woof or Kuro-min or Kuro-tan. __**Kurogane!**__"_

"Nyaa! Kuro-ta's angry."

"That's it." Kurogane threw the note across the room and lunged for the rainbow-colored annoyance.

Fai slipped away from him and danced across the room to the other side of the bed where Kurogane had him cornered. Fai tried to scramble across the bed, laughing as he went, but Kurogane caught him, clawing at his clothes in search of escape. With one arm, he threw Fai over his shoulder and with the other, scooped his cloths back into his duffle bag and grabbed it, kicking at the door as he strode through the doorway and down the hall. Some of the other doors opened as other temporary residents peered into the hallway, drawn out by the noise.

"_Kuro-rin!_" Fai whined, struggling fruitlessly from his shoulder. "People can see my butt!"

"It's your own fault for wearing the goddamn thing." Kurogane snapped back without remorse.

"But I'm not wearing any panties." Fai returned, a little quieter.

"_WHAT THE HELL?_" Kurogane dropped Fai who landed on the floor below with a harsh thud.

It only took the blonde a moment to recover and soon he was sprinting ahead of Kurogane. Once he got a safe distance ahead, Fai turned and grinned back at him. "Just kidding!" and he laughed as he ran off.

Kurogane narrowed his eyes at the empty hallway and snorted. "Idiot."

-

Kurogane was surprised to find Fai already lounging in his car when he reached it. There was a suspicious looking suitcase in his backseat that he distinctly remembered _not_ owning, too.

"Do you mind telling me how you knew this one was my car?" Kurogane growled, exhaustion from dealing with the insanity named Fai seeping into his tone.

"I consulted the box-of-luck, of course." Fai answered him simply, holding the box up with a grin.

Kurogane rolled his eyes and threw his duffle bag alongside the suitcase in the backseat, going around the back of the car to the driver's seat. He obviously wasn't going to get a straight answer out of the blonde. He wondered why he'd even bothered to ask.

-

Kurogane's car was an old Scion model he'd fixed up himself with a retractable roof and a streamline design. He'd painted it jet black himself and he just might have painted a crimson dragon on the hood too, if he could draw at all. Which he could not.

Fai was crouched down in the seat, one foot on the dashboard in front of him in just such a way that Kurogane could not tell weather or not he actually was wearing underwear (not that he was wondering) but he was given a perfect view of Fai's long, slender leg, curving beneath the skirt's limit just past indecency (not that Kurogane was looking).

"Have you gotten in enough site-seeing, Kuro-min?" the blonde asked, a smile in his voice, causing a flare of crimson to heat Kurogane's face as he looked quickly away to start the car. "If you're leaving for California, you probably won't be back here for a long time."

"Try _ever_." Kurogane grumbled, throwing the car into reverse. "And I'm dumping you off at the next town so don't get comfortable."

"Yes, sir!" Fai mocked, straightening in his seat to salute Kurogane sharply.

* * *

The sheer amount of useless information that Fai had amassed in his relatively short life would forever astound Kurogane. First he had started babbling on about the history of New Chicago from it's final rebuilding right on back to something about a cow. He told it all backwards which would have been immensely confusing if Kurogane had actually been paying attention. He officially tuned out somewhere around a historic massacre. Not that massacres were a boring subject in Kurogane's mind, it was just that the way Fai told it was slowly killing Kurogane through boredom and he happened to be driving down the freeway going seventy miles an hour and he had told Fai to shut up at least three dozen times and he was starving but unwilling to pull over into a town because then he would have to directly acknowledge Fai's existence and was desperately trying to tune him out currently.

In an attempt to drown the other out, or at least distract him momentarily, Kurogane turned on the radio and cranked it up.

"Ooh! Kuro-tan! Can I pick the station?"

"Whatever."

Kurogane should have known better. Fai tuned the radio to some oldies station he hadn't even known existed and then turned it up louder.

_Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face  
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase_

Kurogane decided it was time for dinner.

-

The sky was turning orange when they pulled into the parking lot of an out of the way restaurant. Fai licked the chocolate off of his fingers from the snickers bar he'd found tucked away in his suitcase. He'd offered Kurogane some of it, but he'd also confessed he couldn't remember putting it in there and Kurogane had declined. Actually, he'd tried to throw the damn thing out the window (they'd put the top up when evening had hit and the temperature had dropped) but that had been fifteen seconds ago and Fai had shoved the thing in his mouth instead.

"If you die of food poisoning from a goddamned laced chocolate bar because you couldn't waste a dollar's worth of questionable chocolate don't expect me to go out of my way looking for a hospital in the goddamned sticks." The dark man warned, closing his car door a little too harshly.

Fai smiled brilliantly back at him and clasped his hands together behind his back as he danced around in front of Kurogane. "Silly Kuro-puu. If I died, there would be no need to find the hospital."

It wasn't the reaction Kurogane had been wanting, in fact it irritated him to a degree even he admitted was probably disproportionate and instead of dignifying it with a return, he narrowed his eyes and growled at the other man. "Turn around and walk right, for gods sake, you look ridiculous enough as it is."

Fai laughed but he turned around anyway and walked forward, skipping slightly in a way that made Kurogane's eye twitch. "Aww, is Kuro-chan intimidated by my bold, straightforward approach at life?"

Kurogane couldn't resist. "I'm sorry did you just say the word _"straight"_?"

Fai's laughter rang across the parking lot.

-

The restaurant's interior was intended to provide its patrons with an old, down-home feeling, evidenced by checkered tablecloths and paintings of fields and farms, its walls covered in cheep wood paneling, but the impression Kurogane got was a tad less welcoming. Customers, seated in booth seats and at small rounded tables, stared openly at them (mostly at Fai) and then turned and whispered amongst themselves.

If Kurogane hadn't been so damn hungry, he would have turned around and left right then, instead he asked the woman who came to greet them for a small table and was led to one of the round tables in the corner of the restaurant's center space…where Kurogane had nothing to look at but Fai, unless he wanted to return everyone else's stares. Kurogane stared at the menu instead.

"Ooh! Kuro-rin!" Fai said excitedly, drawing Kurogane's frown from the menu to him. "They have a big desert list. Let's get pie and ice cream!" Under the table, Fai crossed his legs and Kurogane only knew that because the blonde's foot brushed against his leg on its way.

Kurogane's frown increased.

"Let's get chocolate sundaes with syrup and sprinkles and brownie bites! Can we Kuro-chii?"

"What do I care what you get?" Kurogane hissed back. "You're paying for your own food so eat the whole damn menu for all I care."

"Yay!" Fai cheered and raised his hand, waving it around like a maniac to catch the waitress's attention.

Kurogane buried his face in his hand.

-

Kurogane thought he would be grateful when their meals finally came; he wouldn't have to listen to Fai babbling on about…what clearly amounted to nothing, Kurogane assumed because it persistently went in one ear and right out the other, but then Fai spent the duration of the time it took him to eat his chicken parmesan trying to shove it off on Kurogane too. Finally, he got fed up and told Fai that if he tried that one more time he would be wearing it on top of his head.

When Fai finished off his soda and excused himself to the bathroom, Kurogane had to forcibly withhold his cry for joy. For a few blessed minutes he would finally be able to enjoy his dinner. Then Kurogane realized he had barely even touched it yet, thanks to the blonde. He hoped Fai got lost in there.

It was only a moment later that Fai emerged. Kurogane noticed, he told himself, not because he had been watching for the blonde, but because it was impossible _not_ to notice Fai when he entered a room dressed like a frickin' rainbow. A few steps out of the bathroom, he was stopped by a middle-aged man and they spoke for the span of a few short words before Fai returned to their table. Kurogane made sure to look away quick enough so that Fai would not know he had been watching.

"Kuro-ta, I'm not feeling too well." he said, leaning over the table. Kurogane noticed absently, that his ass waved back and forth idly as he spoke, as if he had an invisible tail attached. "Would you be a dear and pay my bill for me?" He shoved some money in Kurogane's open hand, ignoring the questioning look the dark man was giving him with an avoiding smile. "I'll wait outside at the car, ok? Don't rush."

Kurogane watched Fai walk away with narrowed eyes. "Not feeling well, my ass." he grumbled, closing his fist around the bills Fai had given him. Still, Fai had finished most of his meal and he hadn't so Kurogane went back to his dinner, eager to get out of there.

Kurogane was waiting for his check when a crack of thunder sounded behind the restaurant's closed curtains. Standing with his coat, he went to the counter to pay there instead and quickly made his way outside.

Fai was there just as he'd said, leaning against Kurogane's car drenched from the rain and staring down at the droplets, illuminated by the parking lot lamp, as they hit the dark pavement at his feet. Kurogane paused to watch him for a brief moment. Gone was the arrogant, fake smile and the colors of his bright clothes were dimmed by the darkness and the rain. His hair hung heavy and straight, shielding his eyes from view. Kurogane shook himself and crossed the parking lot, drawing Fai's attention almost immediately but Kurogane was able to speak before the smile could spring back into place.

"What are you doing? You like getting wet?"

"I forgot that Kuro-rin has the keys." Fai said jokingly. The grin had returned full-force.

"…Idiot."

-

Fai said nothing of the rain or the shiver that passed over him as he fastened his seatbelt in Kurogane's passenger seat. "Did I give Kuro-chuu enough money for the meal?" he asked, feigning concern.

"Don't expect the change back." Kurogane informed him firmly. "I'm throwing it in for a motel room tonight."

Fai's smile shifted gears again but Kurogane tried not to give it too much thought as he turned the heater on and pulled out of the restaurant parking lot. "Yes." he whispered, too quiet for Kurogane to hear above the sound of the heater fan.

-

Kurogane told Fai to wait in the car as he pulled into the first available motel some miles away near the next town. At the desk, he was told that if he wanted only one room, he would have to settle for one bed also because it was all they had available. It was the goddamned middle of the week, Kurogane had informed the frightened girl behind the counter. They _had_ single rooms with two beds. All motels had single rooms with two beds. Unfortunately, _Kurogane's_ single room had only one bed. With a heavy sigh, he threw the door open and let Fai step inside before he shut it behind himself.

He had no intention of explaining himself to the blonde, or apologizing, or anything of the sort. Kurogane simply threw his duffle bag on the bed and proceeded to change into more comfortable clothes for bed. Fai drifted off into the bathroom and ran the shower and Kurogane, tired from the long day, lay back and drifted into a light sleep.

-

Sometime later, Kurogane stirred, unsure of what had awoken him, until he felt something soft press against the joint of his neck and shoulder. Looking down with bleary eyes he found a mass of fine, blonde hair. Kurogane had to blink a moment before he realized that Fai was straddling him, rocking gently against him while he pressed his lips against exposed skin. Kurogane went from unaware to wide awake in record time, eyes widening as he shot up, only saving the blonde from falling off of him by steadying hands gripping his shoulders.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!" he demanded, shock preventing the anger from sounding properly in his voice.

Fai, he noticed, did not raise his eyes to look at him as he took one of Kurogane's hands in his own, nuzzling it against his cheek and leaned forward once again, offering his lips to Kurogane's in a subtle kiss. Kurogane, to his own chagrin, was too stunned to respond but it didn't seem to deter Fai as he simply gave up that route and went another, slipping away, standing on his knees as he reached for the edges of the over-sized shirt he was wearing. He had it halfway up his torso before Kurogane's mind finally snapped and he caught it, yanking it back down with a growl.

"I _asked_ what the _hell_ you think you're doing." he repeated clearly, angrily, and Fai blinked back at him, confusion clear in his wide blue eyes.

"Giving you your payment." the blonde answered, as if the answer should have been obvious. "For bringing me with you, like I promised. That's why you paid for this room, with only one bed, isn't it? I know you fell asleep, but I thought you wouldn't have wanted it to go to waste…" Fai seemed suddenly unsure and Kurogane's frown deepened.

"I got this room because it was the only one they had and I _told you_ I'm not interested in this shit."

Fai's gaze returned to the bed, or perhaps he was looking down at Kurogane's crotch since he was still straddling the larger man. "Please just let me. I don't want to owe anyone anything. I just want to be …free…" The last word was merely a whisper and Kurogane snorted.

"You don't owe me anything." he grumbled. "Now go to bed." And he shoved Fai off of him onto the other side of the bed, turning his back on the blonde. Then a thought occurred to him and he sat up again, turning back to Fai who had lain down facing the wall. "YOU'RE WEARING MY SHIRT!"

"Mmm…" Fai mumbled humorlessly. "You're welcome to take it back."

Kurogane growled in disgust and turned back to his side of the bed.

Long after Fai was sure Kurogane had drifted back to sleep, he continued to stare at the wall with hollow eyes and a hollow smile. "You're so…_mean_."

Kurogane spent the rest of the night debating on whether or not he wanted to know _why_.

-

Kurogane realized he must have fallen asleep when he awoke to the tip of his nose being poked by an intrusive finger. He growled as he swatted at the offending appendage and sat up. He didn't dare go back to sleep knowing that that crazy blonde had been awake while he slept.

A delighted squeal accompanied his movement as Fai waved something under his nose. "Wakey wakey, Kuro-puppy! Fai-Fai has food for you." he cooed and Kurogane could distinctly make out the warm smell of some too-sweet pastry within the confines of the brown paper sack being waved in front of him.

Kurogane did his best to glare up at the man, although he wasn't sure how menacing it could be while he was still half asleep. What was the deal with this guy? Kurogane had never - ever - slept through anyone moving about around him before, and this guy had gone out and come back with breakfast? That thought disturbed Kurogane greatly.

"You looked so cute sleeping, Kuro-min," the man went on and Kurogane felt his eye twitch at the word 'cute' "but if you don't eat soon your breakfast will get cold."

Fai was still dangling the sack in front of him and on their way from it to Fai's face in order to try that glare again now that he was more fully awake (and annoyed), Kurogane's eyes took in another notable sight. Fai was wearing pants; faded blue jeans with silver and black swirls decorating the pockets. Unfortunately, this stilled his gaze right around Fai's waist where the other could easily accuse it of resting a few inches lower.

Kurogane could literally _feel_ the grin widening on Fai's face. It gave him a chill that worked its way down his spine ominously, portending doom.

"Is Kuro-woof having second thoughts about last night? Aww, Fai-kitty will take care of it for you but I'm not in the mood anymore so you'll just have to look but don't touch." Fai lectured him, wagging a finger at him as if speaking to an exasperating child.

Kurogane - predictably - turned red. "_**That's not what I…**_"

"Aww, it's ok, Kuro-chu." Fai consoled him. "I understand now. You're just _shy_." And Fai proceeded to smother him against his chest in an exaggerated hug, then just as quickly, pulled away. "Look, I even wore my special pants just for you."

Fai twirled around and Kurogane swore to himself that if he hadn't had his back turned he would have killed the blonde right there. Stretched across the back of his jeans, above and between the pockets, was a black and silver swallowtail butterfly and by the time Fai turned back, Kurogane had gotten out of bed and was making his way toward the shower, his urge to kill already gone.

-

From the moment Kurogane had exited the shower and continuing while he packed his clothes away and left the room on his way to the car, Fai tried to get him to eat the sweets he had discovered were cream cheese danishes, all the while talking around them himself. Kurogane had taken to ignoring him, because arguing with Fai, he had quickly learned, was an exercise in futility. You might as well be arguing with a rock.

Kurogane had already unlocked his car, thrown his duffle bag in the backseat, and seated himself in the driver's seat, Fai climbing in beside him, when he finally looked out the windshield and happened to see the hood of his self-modified, antique-model vehicle whose paintjob had, when he'd last left it, been flawless, shining black. Before he could even comprehend all of the not-black colors defiling his car's hood, Kurogane had thrown the door open and ran to the front of his car, staring down in disbelief at the elaborate artwork that had somehow appeared there overnight; a red and blue dragon entwined before a large, full, silver moon. The red dragon's wings were proper dragon wings, but the blue dragon had instead the mere impression of wings, thick blue shapes that spread out from its back without actually touching it.

Kurogane didn't need to think long on how it had gotten there, and when he looked up at his passenger's seat, his eye twitched with rage but Fai was no longer there.

"I don't know…" Fai said from behind Kurogane, startling him slightly. "Do you think a puppy and kitty would have been better?"

Kurogane screamed and gave chase; Fai was already escaping him, laughing as he rounded the vehicle while Kurogane screamed bloody murder after him.

It wasn't long before doors started opening and other motel patrons began to shout at them. When someone threw a coffee pot, barely missing Kurogane's headlight before it shattered on the ground nearby, he decided it was time to leave and the rest they could deal with somewhere else. Fai got in beside him again and Kurogane threw the vehicle into reverse before they could throw anything else at his already-violated car.

Kurogane spent the next several hours (after yelling at, threatening, and ordering Fai to return his car to its previous -_black_- state) sulking in silence and generally feeling sorry for himself because yelling at Fai seemed to have about the same effect as arguing with him. It helped his sour mood that every second he looked out of his windshield his vision was accosted by the monstrosity.

Fai meanwhile, busied himself with Kurogane's radio and his horrendous oldies channel that seemed to come in perfectly clear no matter how Kurogane tried to escape it (or maybe he kept finding new ones). It wasn't bad enough that Kurogane's vision was tortured , but his ears were harassed as well. Kurogane might have admitted that some of the singers weren't overly terrible, but then, he couldn't hear most of the songs through Fai's loud, obnoxious voice belting out the lyrics in a way that told Kurogane he was obviously doing it to annoy him.

"Come on Kuro-rin! Sing with me, you're no fun." and then he would proceed to sing along with lyrics that, like him, made absolutely no sense to Kurogane. "_California rest in peace. Simultaneous release. California show your teeth. She's my priestess, I'm your priest._"

-

They stopped at a Chinese buffet place for lunch, despite Kurogane's protests. He had wanted to get drive through at the nearby Taco Bell so that this insanity didn't have to last a single second longer than absolutely necessary (he was seriously considering seeing how long he could continue to drive without sleep until he passed out) but Fai had complained and insisted until they'd gone to the Chinese place instead.

The food wasn't bad, Kurogane had to admit. The sesame chicken was good. Fai's first plate was filled with nothing but sweets; every dessert they had on the buffet table had found its way to Fai's plate. Kurogane watched him eat it all discretely, waiting for the annoying comments to start but Fai spent more time playing with his jell-o, which he seemed to find disturbingly fascinating, than paying attention to him. Fai's second plate was real food; chicken and rice and vegetables. His third plate was junk food again and Kurogane realized by the third plate that he'd actually spent more time watching Fai eat his food (probably mesmerized by the uncommon silence) than eating his own. It was also during the third plate that Fai finally spoke up, smiling up at him brightly as though only seconds had passed since he'd last spoke.

"Let's rob a bank, Kuro-chan!" he declared excitedly. "Haven't you always wanted to rob a bank? It's the American dream! Let's do it!"

Kurogane stared back dumbfounded but when he finally opened his mouth to reply, Fai shoved a cream-filled puff inside, eyes sparkling with mirth.

"We'll need lots of guns Kuro-kun," Fai went on, ignoring the glare Kurogane was sending him as he realized he would have to swallow the sweet thing to get rid of it without making a scene. "and pin-stripped suits. With hats! And ties!" he added. "I think Kuro-sama would look wonderful in a tie, with a crimson silk shirt."

Kurogane took a gulp of his tea before addressing the idiot. "Why on Earth would I want to rob a bank?"

Fai blinked back at him as though the answer should have been obvious. "For the thrill of course," he answered. "Kuro-mun is so boring!"

"I am not boring! I just don't have any desire to get a criminal record." Kurogane argued. "I'm not even from this country!"

Fai seemed to be surprised by that. "Really?" he asked, true curiosity showing through. "What country is Kuro-rin from?"

"Japan."

Fai grinned again. "Ok, so what's the Japanese dream, then?"

"To be the best at whatever you do." Kurogane answered confidently.

Fai leaned forward to rest his chin onto the back of his hand with an easy smile. "Oh? And what is Kuro-puu best at?"

Kurogane hesitated. He wasn't sure but somehow, he felt something bad coming. "Kendo." he answered carefully. "And…I came to this country to find something important, so…finding that."

"Finding good things?" Fai asked, sounding as if he were checking for confirmation.

"Sure."

"Then Kuro-tan really is boring." Fai declared, his smile fading visibly though it stubbornly remained in place. "I already offered him the best thing this country has to offer and he didn't want it."

Kurogane remained silent, wishing he'd had that sense a few minutes ago.

-

Fai was silent for a time when they returned to the car, listening to his music while Kurogane split his attention between driving and looking over at the blonde, a strange pit of dread settling in his stomach that he was beginning to associate with Fai. Then, as Kurogane was glancing at him for the thousandth time, Fai suddenly unbuckled, rolling his window down and twisted himself until he was sideways in his seat and lay down, his head coming to rest in Kurogane's lap while his feet hung out the window.

It took a minute for Kurogane to get over his shock, the chill air beginning to fill the car from the open window. "HEY! What the hell!"

"Hmm?" Fai asked, looking up at him from his lap.

Kurogane made the mistake of glancing down at him and blushed faintly at the contact. Then he looked over at Fai's feet, dangling out of the open window.

"Get your goddamned legs in the car! You wanna get 'em cut off?!"

Fai merely looked up at him curiously so Kurogane reached down to roll up Fai's window himself. At that Fai pulled his feet back into the vehicle with a pout but he made no move to sit back up so Kurogane had to reach down and give his shoulder a push, since his leg was otherwise occupied with the gas pedal.

"Get up! Buckle your seatbelt! God, what would you do if we crashed? We're going 70 miles an hour you idiot!"

"So what?" Fai shrugged, turning his face away from Kurogane's harsh glare like a petulant child. "The only way to have an adventure is to take some risks." he recited and Kurogane's temper flared.

Fai lurched forward when Kurogane slammed on the breaks, making the cars behind him swerve around him, honking angrily.

"Ouchy." Fai whined, rubbing his forehead where a red spot was forming from his impact with the cup holders.

Kurogane brought the car to a dead stop alongside the interstate, throwing it into park and unbuckled, reaching over to pull Fai into a sitting position, reaching around him to refasten his buckle himself, and then rolled Fai's window back down before he turned around, leaning over the seats to unzip Fai's single suitcase.

Realizing what he was doing, Fai began struggling with the seatbelt frantically, crying at him to stop.

Kurogane threw open the suitcase, grabbed up the three candy bars he found there in the front and before Fai could stop him, threw them with all his might right past Fai's face and out the window.

Kurogane refastened Fai's seatbelt with finality and lingered just long enough to look him in the face, making absolutely certain his message got across loud and clear. "There's a difference between risks and stupidity and some things are too important to be stupid about."

That said, Kurogane returned to his seat, buckled himself and proceeded to pull the car back onto the road, rolling Fai's window back up as he did so.

Fai was silent for a moment, appearing frozen by the confrontation, until a hollow chuckle erupted from his throat and slowly turned into an uncontrollable laughter.

Kurogane scowled. He didn't think it was funny at all. But then he realized that Fai's laughter didn't sound like he'd thought it particularly funny either. It really sounded insane. The sound sent chills down Kurogane's spine.

After a moment the laughter subsided, leaving a lingering smile on Fai's face that Kurogane couldn't quite label.

"They weren't laced, you know." Fai said eventually, turning to look at him. "They were just candy bars."

"…like you need any more sugar."

Fai chuckled again but somehow the sound was much lighter this time and Kurogane returned his attention to the road, letting the sounds of Fai's music saturate the car, relenting to the inevitability of it. For a while at least, Kurogane couldn't find the energy to fight against it.

_I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart, that's still beating…_

Fai was going to be the death of him, Kurogane thought, long before this journey was over.

He had forgotten that he had intended to leave Fai behind a half a dozen stops ago.

* * *

Post whatevers: Songs featured in this chapter are: "Your Body is a Wonderland" by John Mayer, "Dani California" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and "Broken" by Lifehouse. As always, if you liked, please review. The next installment is done but as the entire thing isn't, I won't be posting it for at least two weeks, depending on reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is the intellectual property of CLAMP

Author's Note: Well, the Tsubasa manga may be over in Japan (is crying) but I'm still here. I bring you chapter 2, still rated T. This fic seems to move along so fast that it's hard to look back and remember in what chapter certain things happened.

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

______________________________

_**Part 1, Chapter 2**_

Kurogane drove on that second day of their journey until a car passed them and he realized only once it was actually in front of him that it was a motorcycle. Fai said nothing of it. Instead, he sat silently in his seat, holding the small wooden box given to him by the homeless man in New Chicago; the "box of luck". He'd lifted the lid and seemed to have forgotten all about it, sitting on his lap, held securely between his hands as he stared out the front windshield, lost in thoughts Kurogane knew he couldn't begin to comprehend.

Kurogane took the very next exit after that and pulled into the parking lot of an economy motel.

"Come on and help me pay." he called tiredly over his shoulder, not bothering to wait or watch as Fai stepped out of the car and turned back to set the box of luck carefully in the seat, open as he'd been holding it.

-

The man at the desk looked up at them briefly from his magazine, then, apparently not finding them interesting enough, went back to reading. It didn't bother Kurogane; he was too tired to give a rat's ass whether or not the man paid attention to him. As long as he rented them the room the guy could whip out an accordion and start dancing on the counter for all he cared.

"We need a room with two beds."

"One bed." the man stated simply, turning the page of his magazine.

Kurogane felt himself waking up; irritation tended to do that to him. "Excuse me?"

This time the man did look up, meeting Kurogane's steadily narrowing eyes levelly. "All of our two bed rooms are being renovated. If you want a room, it's gonna have one bed."

Kurogane stared back in shock. It took him a moment to process but finally annoyance kicked in. "Forget it."

Kurogane turned to leave but Fai reached out a hand and caught him by the arm, ignoring the low growl Kurogane sent his way and turned his disarming smile on the man behind the desk. "We'll take it."

Kurogane grumbled and grouched, of course, as he handed over his share of the fee but really he was too tired to care. A glance at the clock on the wall revealed that it was after two in the morning. For some reason, being near Fai wore him out.

-

Their room was on the second floor and, Kurogane had to admit it, was about a hundred times nicer than the last room they'd slept in. As soon as Fai dropped their key on the small table near the door, he noticed the bathtub through the open bathroom door and let out a squeal of delight.

"Kuro-ru! There's a tub!"

Kurogane took a seat on the edge of the bed and watched as Fai threw his suitcase on a nearby chair and started rummaging through it, throwing clothes out over his shoulder as he went. Kurogane noticed the first outfit he'd ever seen the blonde in go flying and his eyes locked onto it distractedly, a teal-colored heap of fabric that really shouldn't have been treated like that.

Kurogane reached down and pulled his shoes off one by one, lining them neatly next to the end table.

"Eureka!" Fai yelled, retreating from his suitcase with a small travel-size bottle and held it up happily for Kurogane to see. "Bubble bath!"

"You carry bubble bath?" Kurogane asked, a touch of disbelief leaking through the feeling that he really shouldn't be surprised. Really, Fai could have live frogs in there for all he knew. That thought drew him back to the panic he'd heard in Fai's voice when he'd riffled through that suitcase in the car, giving rise to a nagging suspicion and general curiosity. It wasn't his business, though, Kurogane knew. Fai could keep all his secrets. It didn't have anything to do with him.

When Kurogane looked back to the blonde man in question, he found Fai squirming out of his jeans on his way toward the bathroom. The bottle of bubble bath was held between his teeth and his shirt, socks, and shoes had already joined all of his other things on the floor. Kurogane blinked as the pants finally fell around his ankles and Fai stepped out of them, reaching for his underwear. A frown finally settled on his face.

"Can't you do that in the bathroom?" he argued but Fai had already disappeared into the aforementioned room and his only response was the underwear flying through the air to land in a heap in the middle of the room. Shortly after, he could hear the water pouring into the tub.

Kurogane lay back on the bed and somehow found himself watching the steam coil into the main room from the open bathroom door. He just watched it for a while, not thinking of anything, until Fai's voice began to drift with it out of the bathroom. At first he meant to tell the idiot that singing in the bath was a good way to find himself drowned in the bath but the words just didn't come. Instead, he let Fai's voice fill the emptiness. He didn't have a bad singing voice, when he wasn't trying to annoy the hell out of him. He was decent, even, when he was doing it for the sake of doing it.

Kurogane didn't recognize the song, but that didn't surprise him. It was probably more of Fai's ancient music, another tune he'd never be able to get out of his head as long as he lived.

"_I still remember the sun always warm on my back. Somehow it seems colder now. Where has my heart gone? Trapped in the eyes of a stranger. Oh, I…I want to go back to believing in everything. … … Where has my heart gone? An uneven trade for the real world…Oh, I…I want to go back to believing in everything. Oh where…where has my heart gone, trapped in the eyes of a stranger. Oh, I…I want to go back…to…_…"

Kurogane waited for the rest and when it didn't follow, he lowered his eyes to the open doorway curiously.

"Hey, Kuro-rin…"

Kurogane hesitated but eventually he answered the blonde. "What?"

There was another pause before Fai's voice returned, happily and Kurogane wondered if Fai knew that his moods were even faker when he couldn't be seen. "Come and wash my back."

Kurogane scowled. "No! Hurry up and finish so I can go to sleep out here. I don't trust you wandering around while I'm asleep."

"So _mean_! Wash my back first!"

"I said _no_!" This time Kurogane shouted, the spell of the steam completely forgotten.

"If you don't I'll come to bed naked…and wet." Fai threatened.

"About the time you do that, you'll be sleeping in the car!" Kurogane yelled back. He didn't doubt for a second that the crazy blonde would try it, too.

Kurogane waited for more whining on the subject but no further sounds came from the other room. After a few seconds, the silence became deafening as Kurogane realized that _all_ sounds had ceased; the slosh of water in the tub as Fai moved about, the small noises the other had been making as he went about his business, everything. Kurogane listened intently, rising unconsciously to hear better but all noise from the bathroom had abruptly _stopped_.

Kurogane stood, strode toward the bathroom, intending to yank the idiot from the bath and tell him enough was enough. He'd been in there nearly an hour already. He had to have been a prune by now as it was, but when he reached the point where he could see into the room around the corner of the wall, Kurogane's heart jumped to his throat. On first glance, he didn't even see Fai, and he had a perfect view of the room. Then two large, hurried steps further he found the man completely submerged beneath the water in the tub, spilling over slightly from his weight and he felt his heart stop altogether.

It was possibly a mesmerizing sight. Fai's eyes were opened to slits and Kurogane could tell he couldn't really see anything. His long strands of blonde hair floated freely in the water around his head, porcelain skin grayed slightly in the dim light and water that had once been soapy. No bubbles rose to the surface, not from his mouth, parted slightly or from his nose. It was as if the scene were perfectly preserved in time and Kurogane thought nothing of destroying it completely when he reached into the water and yanked Fai upward, hands gripping his shoulders painfully tight.

Fai gasped, eyes flying open, lungs filling with air as his hair fell heavily into his eyes and around his face awkwardly.

"_**What the hell are you doing?!**_" Kurogane roared, shaking him once.

"Nothing!" Fai responded automatically. "I was just…" Then he seemed to really take notice of the situation and stopped. "You're hurting me, Kuro-puu." he said instead, trying in vain to move his shoulder, bringing Kurogane's attention back to his fingers that were turning white against the pale skin of Fai's arms. He let go, feeling a stab of guilt at the marks he left behind. They would surely all be bruises in the morning. Fai rubbed at his arms and smiled up at him. "Was Kuro-chan worried about me? I was just rinsing my hair, silly."

Kurogane didn't know what to say. He didn't have a sharp reply at hand and he hated apologizing. It was the idiot's fault for being so quiet anyway. Instead of waiting for an answer from him, Fai reached out and took his right hand, plopping the washcloth in it with a grin and turned his back to Kurogane, sweeping his hair off of his neck.

Kurogane glared at the back of that blonde head but Fai said nothing so Kurogane decided he'd do it, as long as the blonde wasn't going to annoy him about it, in place of an apology, because Fai didn't deserve an apology but Kurogane still felt guilty.

Fai leaned forward, curling his arms around his knees with a low moan, his head turning to rest against his knees as Kurogane passed the cloth over his back and shoulders in easy circles.

"Don't…get used to this." Kurogane grumbled and he could just make out the sad smile around the blonde's shoulder.

"Of course not. Kuro-min just doesn't want me in his bed naked." Fai murmured.

"…right."

* * *

Kurogane couldn't sleep that night. He was 90 percent sure that Fai had fallen asleep in the bed next to him, that he had been asleep when he'd rolled over and wrapped himself around him like some neurotic boa constrictor, but he could never be _sure_ with Fai. And truth be told, the warm breath puffing against his neck wasn't helping him to sleep either.

When Kurogane glanced at the bedside clock for the eight hundredth time and saw that it was finally beginning to bend to his will and read a decent morning hour; 6:00 AM, he decided that it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to get out of bed. Untangling himself from Fai proved to be a challenge, as he was attempting not to wake him in the process (and assuming that he was, indeed, sleeping) but after several failed attempts, he did, in fact, manage the task.

Kurogane dressed as quickly as possible in the previous day's clothes and took up the door key and his car keys, shutting the door quietly on his way out.

From the bed, Fai turned his head, staring emptily at the secured door in silence then turned his eyes to the ceiling, wishing he could get the smell out of the oversized black shirt he was wearing.

* * *

Kurogane returned with a sack of breakfast sandwiches, coffee, and his own duffle bag; throwing it on the ground to reach into his pocket for the motel key. Pushing the door open, he kicked the bag inside and followed, swinging the door shut behind him.

Fai was awake and upon his entry, sat up on the bed, giving him a look like he'd grown a second head. Kurogane frowned. "What?"

Fai only continued to stare at him as though his presence there were some kind of shock to him.

Deciding that maybe Fai was surprised that he had gotten up before him, Kurogane threw the sack of food at him and sat the coffees on the nightstand next to him.

"I brought actual _food_. With _meat_." Kurogane declared, pointing to the small paper bag in Fai's lap as the blonde watched him intently. "None of that sugary, glazed crap and the coffee's black but I grabbed these, since you'd probably just complain otherwise." At this, Kurogane dug into the pockets of his trench coat and produced several small packets of creamer; in several different flavors, which he dropped into Fai's lap unceremoniously. "I didn't know what you liked so I just got them all."

Fai looked down at the creamers in his lap and smiled, clutching the paper bag to his chest carefully, his smile brightening and eyes closing as he looked up at Kurogane. "Kuro-pyon is so good to me."

Kurogane looked away. "Yea, well… If I hadn't I'd have just been eating crap for another day."

He slid his trench coat off, laying it over the back of a chair and informed the other that he was going to take a shower and that Fai had better be dressed and ready to go by the time he was finished. He didn't look back as he grabbed his duffle bag and disappeared into the bathroom, closing (and locking) the door behind him.

-

By the time he got out of the bathroom, Kurogane seriously regretted giving Fai caffeine. Seriously, what had he been thinking? Fai noticed his entrance immediately and crossed the room so fast that Kurogane didn't even have time to _think_ of dodging before he'd taken a flying leap and attached himself to the other man's torso. Kurogane stumbled back as Fai's legs wrapped themselves around his waist and his arms encircled his neck, the blonde's nose pressing against his own as he squealed happily.

"Kuro-puu! Let's explore this town today!" Fai exclaimed and Kurogane declared then and there that he would never again allow the idiot within 3 feet of even so much as the _smell_ of something caffeinated.

Kurogane reached up to Fai's arms to pry him off of him but stopped short of the blonde's long sleeves. His outfit for the day consisted of a shirt made of light material with sleeves that flared out at the elbows and dark blue jeans. The shirt was swirled with purple and black designs which looked rather striking below Fai's brilliant blue eyes but reminded Kurogane of the purple and black bruises he'd seen forming on the blonde's arms a few hours ago when he'd accidentally nudged the sleeve of his black shirt up a little while he'd been moving him.

Apparently sensing his hesitation, Fai leaned forward and kissed him on the nose playfully which snapped Kurogane out of the daze he'd been in. Kurogane frowned deeply, taking hold of Fai's waist with firm hands and pulled back as hard as he could. Fai allowed himself to be dislodged and stood before Kurogane, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"God, you're annoying." Kurogane growled, brushing his shirt off (clearing it of the idiocy he hoped wasn't contagious). "We're not exploring anything. We're getting into the car and driving to California; just like yesterday, just like tomorrow."

Fai pouted. "Aww…that's no fun. Come on Kuro-ru, pleeeease?" he gripped at Kurogane's shirt, depositing more of that idiocy, and Kurogane's glare traveled from Fai's hands to his face, which, of course, was his downfall.

Thirty minutes later they were wandering through a museum and Kurogane was looking for a good strong rafter to hang himself from while Fai marveled at all of the antiques and paintings.

"Look, Kuro-rin! Aren't those colors wonderful!" "Look Kuro-ta! Isn't this design amazing!" "Look, Kuro-woof, that lady's puppy looks just like you!"

Kurogane was willing to settle for any half-way decent rafter.

"Kuro-sama!" Fai insisted, tugging at his arm, averting his gaze from the ceiling. "Look! It's a ninja!"

Somehow, they had wandered into the ancient Japan section and Kurogane followed Fai's pointing finger to a wax figure of a ninja dressed in black and carrying an ornate silver blade whose handle bore the carving of a dragon clutching a red orb in it's jaws.

"It's a fake." Kurogane said, drawing near. Looking around now, he noticed other swords in cases of their own and took Fai's wrist, pulling him to one nearby. "This," he said, pointing out the object to Fai "this one's real. Early 14th century. You can tell from the designs and see, there," he pointed out a small mark on the handle that Fai had to lean forward to make out "that's the signature of the man who made it. It's different from this one." he added pointing below it to the next weapon.

Fai listened with great interest; maybe not so much interest in the weaponry, but interest in Kurogane's interest. Kurogane seemed to have forgotten his sour mood as he drifted from one display case to the next.

"Does Kuro-chan have any swords?" Fai asked and Kurogane nodded in response.

"Three, but none so nice as this one." he said, pointing out an encased long sword with a handle in the shape of a silver dragon.

"Kuro-mu is so cute when he's talking about sharp pointy things." Fai teased.

Kurogane glared back. "And what kinds of things do you like? Or is annoyance a hobby for you?"

"I like Kuro-tan of course!" Fai declared happily. "I'm thinking of starting a collection." he added, eyeing Kurogane with half-lidded eyes.

Kurogane snorted and turned back to the swords, rolling his eyes.

* * *

"Can we leave now?" Kurogane asked sarcastically as they made their way out of the museum. It hadn't been a _terrible_ experience overall, as soon as they'd wandered into something interesting, but that didn't mean he wanted to waste the whole day either. When he'd asked Fai if he was ready to leave it was a rhetorical question. They were leaving whether Fai wanted to or not.

"_No! Kuro-puu!_" he cried, dancing around in front of Kurogane, gripping onto his shirt front and hunching down to make himself look smaller, eyes large and desperate. "I have to go shopping first! We can't leave until I go shopping! It's _imperative_."

"What could you _possibly_ need that you have to get right this minute? Why didn't we go shopping instead of going to the museum? You even piddled around until the damn place opened. _Why didn't we go shopping then?!_" Kurogane shouted, feeling irritation rise as his tirade progressed. "I told you, I'm going to California. Do you _want_ to be left behind?"

Despite Fai standing in front of him, Kurogane started walking, pressing forward determinedly.

"No!" Fai whined, reminding Kurogane of the annoying little five year olds whose stupid mothers felt the dire need to inflict them on the general population at grocery stores. "Kuro-sama, please. Just for a minute? It'll be a quick trip, I promise!"

"_I said __**NO**__!_" Kurogane roared, drawing several stares from wary onlookers along the street.

* * *

"Yay!" Fai exclaimed, tugging Kurogane along by the hand as they made their way through a crowed mall.

Kurogane yanked his hand back indignantly, sulking. He honestly didn't understand how this had happened. They had gotten in the car, right? He had been driving, right, wanting to go to California? Somehow the part where he had pulled into the mall parking lot was fuzzy, drowned out by pouting and whining and cries of unfairness and threats of never speaking to him again (That would have made him happy, damnit! The happiest goddamn person alive.).

Either Fai was an absolute genius, had psychologically brainwashed him, or possessed strange magical powers because Kurogane could not understand who in their right mind would willingly contribute to that ridiculously spoiled attitude of his. Kurogane would have put money on the brainwashing.

Narrowed, scrutinizing crimson eyes watched the blonde weave his way through the throng of people effortlessly as Kurogane followed, shoving them aside on his way.

That annoying, childish attitude of his made it hard to remember the blonde as a prostitute but if he thought of it, Kurogane could remember the night he had met Fai, only a few …long… days before. He had been annoying then too, but he had also had a whole host of other masks, false personas he had cycled through looking for something that would enable him to get his own way; sultry and sexy and submissive.

None of them were the true Fai. So false were they, that Kurogane could single out the only three instances when Fai had accidentally lost them, showing Kurogane something deeper that he obviously wanted desperately to hide. The first had been that evening at the restaurant, when Fai had been standing in the rain, before he had seen Kurogane; the second had been on that first night, when Kurogane had refused sex and Fai had said he wanted to be free; the third was in the tub when Fai had smiled with his head on his knees while Kurogane washed his back. All three were gone the second after they'd appeared.

Kurogane had to remind himself that Fai's business was his own, his past, no matter how shitty, was his to keep. He had to remind himself and he worried, because he knew he shouldn't have had to. It was just that being the brunt of such a pathetic display of acting (pathetic because Kurogane could see through it like clear glass) was almost painful. It made him wonder if Fai was really trying to fool him and everyone else, or himself.

-

Fai stopped outside a music store, waiting for him and when Kurogane had closed the distance between them, Fai caught his hand again with a wide grin. "We just _have_ to go in here first!" he gushed excitedly. "Look, they have used records and cds!"

"What's a record?" Kurogane asked, eyeing the sign Fai was reading from with suspicion.

Fai pulled away (keeping a tight hold on his hand) and gave him a scandalized look. "You mean you've never heard a record before, Kuro-pi? That's terrible! You've completely missed out on a vital piece of history!"

Kurogane snorted. "Like I give a shit about that stuff." He pulled at his hand but getting it back seemed to be a lost cause. "Let go of my hand." he ordered finally. "Is this what you meant by "_imperative shopping_"?"

"Now, now, Kuro-puu," Fai chided, pulling him into the store behind him "we're already here, after all. No harm in having a quick peek."

-

Kurogane hated to think what would have happened if Fai ever said something might take a while. He'd be witnessing the next ice age. Kurogane's stomach was making embarrassing gurgling noises when they finally exited the music store, in protest of being empty and ignored. Fai had bought several cds, which were too old to even play in his car, and even one of those record things, a large, round disc that Kurogane was absolutely sure wouldn't play on anything Fai could pull out of that suitcase of his. It all seemed to make Fai extremely happy, though. He even offered to pay for lunch for them both.

Of course, lunch was at a fast food ice cream shop in the cafeteria of the mall. They made pizza as a lunch food, so Fai got them both pizza and hot fudge sundaes with rainbow colored sprinkles without even bothering to ask Kurogane if he wanted it or not.

Kurogane scowled at the little smiley face Fai had made in his ice cream with the sprinkles before setting it in front of him.

"Isn't this the most wonderful day ever?" the blonde asked, smiling across the table at him, positively glowing. If it were possible for a person to have sparkles dancing around their head, Fai would have had them. "Kuro-tan has the best date ideas."

"Hey!" Kurogane protested. "All this was _your _idea. You were the one who dragged me here. I wanted to be on the road all day."

"Well, but I thought I'd give you the credit." Fai reasoned humoringly. "Wasn't this a much better way to spend our first date than sitting in the car all day?"

"_This isn't a date!_" Kurogane yelled, remembering far too late that they were in the middle of a crowded cafeteria and catching some of the stares from people around them, he quickly looked away from the blonde, deciding it was probably a good time to eat his slice of pizza. Maybe if his mouth was full it couldn't cause him any more problems. If only he could figure out a way to occupy Fai's…

Kurogane tore into his pizza with a red face and the sound of Fai's light laughter ringing in his ears.

* * *

"We're leaving now." Kurogane declared, dumping the garbage from his tray into its receptacle without turning back to address the blonde behind him.

The response was immediate.

"Wha? Kuro-pii, you can't be serious!"

"And what would give you that impression?" Kurogane returned, pointedly _not_ looking at Fai as he came up beside him.

"You hardly got any sleep at _all_ last night!" Fai protested.

"I'm fine."

"Don't be stubborn Kuro-key. If we have to go…then let me drive."

A jingling noise beside him drew Kurogane's attention and he turned to find Fai jangling his keys, their ring hanging delicately from the end of his finger. Despite knowing exactly how Fai had gotten his hands on them, his hand still instinctively slammed against his now-flat coat pocket.

Kurogane growled. "You're _kidding_! After what you did to my car you're lucky I even let you _sit _in it. If you think I'm going to give you the chance to _crash_ it you've got another thing coming!"

"Kuro-puu, be reasonable." Fai chided, sounding disturbingly like his exasperated forth grade math teacher. "I would _never _crash your car. This way, you can sleep while I drive and we'll make it there much faster than we've been going."

"_And whose fault is __**that**__!_" Kurogane yelled, remembering too late once again that he was drawing attention.

With a huff, he grabbed onto Fai's wrist and dragged him the rest of the way out of the mall so that he didn't have to deal with quite so many displeased parents giving him dirty looks.

"Don't you trust me even that much?" Fai asked, his voice small against Kurogane's arm where he'd pressed his cheek when they'd come to a stop.

"Have you given me any reason to trust you?" Kurogane returned in kind, something in Fai's voice keeping him from shoving the other away just yet.

Fai remained silent for a moment but then Kurogane felt a small nod against his arm. "Ok." Fai agreed. "If you let me drive for a bit, I'll tell you anything you want to know. I'll tell the truth. But only three times."

Kurogane hesitated. "I don't need to know your past." He was finally able to shrug the blonde off. "Honesty isn't currency. Currency can't buy everything."

"Kuro-min's morality is so hard to reach." Fai mumbled in that same tone. He didn't seem to want a response though.

Kurogane had been told too often how poor he was at dealing with people; how he just couldn't seem to understand any point of view that was not his own. He had never really cared before. Kurogane remembered how Fai had wanted to give him compensation for bringing him. He might have understood that Fai did not want to be in his debt, morally speaking, but knowing that made Fai's current wish to gain his trust make even less sense to him. Fai was becoming something of a curiosity and it might have been that Kurogane really did not care at all about the information he wanted to withhold but some nagging part of him did want to know what Fai thought he was doing here with him when he could just as easily have taken a bus anywhere he wanted to go.

Kurogane sighed. "Fine."

Fai's eyes widened as they regarded him with surprise and quickly closed in his happy mask smile. "Kuro-wanko won't regret it!" Fai threw his arms around Kurogane's again. "I'll drive us to California while you sleep. Just leave everything to me!"

-

Kurogane considered himself to be, among other things, a fearless individual. So to say that the first twelve minutes he spent in the passenger seat while Fai took the wheel and exited the parking lot were the most terrifying twelve minutes of his entire life, would not have been an understatement by any means. Kurogane had never known fear until he had met Fai.

In his attempt to navigate the parking lot, Fai had run two stop signs, nearly collided with a third, jumped one corner and been forced to back up out of the way of an oncoming vehicle while sitting at a fourth. Things were a little smoother once they finally exited the parking lot…because Fai had slowed down considerably, forcing traffic to weave around him and honk loudly.

"Tell me you've driven a car before." Kurogane all but begged.

Fai did not look at him. He kept his eyes glued to the road ahead and both hands on the wheel but his tone shot Kurogane down as well as any look would have. "Kuro-tan, I'm just not familiar with the area. As soon as I find our road, everything will be fine. Go to sleep."

"You didn't answer me." Kurogane pointed out flatly.

"Is that one of your three questions?" Fai returned in the same tone. "Have you driven a car before?"

"I told you," Kurogane looked out the window, noticing that they were in fact, exactly where they were supposed to be "I don't care."

"But I want to."

Fai's solemn tone drew Kurogane's attention and he hesitated. "No." he said finally. "It's not."

Fai nodded and smiled and Kurogane was left to his thoughts.

-

Kurogane blamed Fai for wearing him out. One or two nights without sleep shouldn't have affected him otherwise. So once Kurogane blinked his eyes open and realized that he'd been asleep for some time, the first thing he did was glare darkly at Fai…who was of course, looking out the windshield and didn't notice. It was dark outside and the clock on the radio read 10:15. Kurogane straightened himself, catching Fai's attention, though the other didn't look at him as he spoke.

"Good night, Kuro-wanwan! Are you feeling better now? Should I find a rest stop?"

"I'm fine." Kurogane grumbled, not annoyed but waking.

Adjusting his seat, Kurogane noticed absently that the box of luck lay open between them. Touching his fingertips against the lid, Kurogane gave it a little push, curious to see what Fai would do as the lid snapped shut. Fai's eyes never found his, watching for his reaction, as his hand shot out to reopen the box's lid and he grinned widely, changing the subject cleanly.

"Would you like the radio, Kuro-pipi? I didn't want to wake you with it but now that you're up, we can listen to anything you want."

Fai was letting him listen to anything? Kurogane frowned but decided not to comment on it for the moment. Instead, he asked "Do you need a break?"

Fai shook his head happily. "I like driving!" he exclaimed. "But I'm so happy that Kuro-bu is thinking of me? How cute!"

Kurogane wrinkled his nose in a look of disgust that went unnoticed by the blonde as he turned to gaze out the window. After a moment of silence during which Kurogane did not feel like screwing with the radio, he finally said "So why are _you_ going to California?"

"Is that one of your three questions?" Fai sing-songed back to him.

"Yes." Kurogane stated firmly and a short silence followed, during which Kurogane believed Fai was trying to find the most clever way of wording the truth so that it no longer sounded like the truth. He liked to believe that Fai would, indeed, keep his word.

"I wanted to see the ocean of course." Fai answered childishly, grinning from ear to ear.

"Why?" Kurogane asked incredulously, forgetting himself for a moment.

Fai's grin brightened a few kilowatts. "It always looks so perfect and blue on tv and I thought I would jump in it. _Splash!_" If Fai hadn't been so occupied with driving, Kurogane had no doubt that this statement would have been accompanied by Fai throwing his arms in the air dramatically._ "_Wouldn't Kuro-chu like to visit a beach?"

"Not particularly." Kurogane muttered, the fact that Fai had answered his question exactly how he had anticipated not escaping him. So Fai wanted to see the ocean. So what? Anyone who hadn't lived near an ocean probably wanted to see one. But Kurogane could picture Fai standing on a beach, hair blowing out in the ocean breeze. The serene expression on Fai's face in his little fantasy was probably what brought him back to reality, reminding him that Fai had never since he'd known him, wore such an expression and it was pure stupidity to picture him doing it as he lied through his smiles to everyone's face.

"Was that it?" Fai asked, encouragingly. "You have one more, you know?"

"_One_ more?" Kurogane repeated, maybe a little louder than was necessary. "That was only **one**!"

"Nuh, uh." Fai chided. "It was two. 'Why are you going to California?' and 'why do you want to see the beach?'"

"Bastard!" Kurogane retorted. "That's cheating."

"You asked two questions." Fai stated in a tone that spoke of boredom. "Don't blame me that you didn't think them through enough."

Kurogane grumbled to himself, turning to look at the blackness out the window, wallowing in his failure as Fai started humming a nonsense tune in the background.

-

Kurogane was all for driving all night, but at around one in the morning, his stomach was reminding him that he'd missed dinner and Fai showed no signs of having any intention of stopping.

"Find a fast food place." Kurogane said. It wasn't just that he was hungry. He could have gone without. But it was strange to be sitting in the passenger's seat and to have Fai in the driver's seat unwilling to communicate with him. He had a suspicion that Fai hadn't driven much and his nervousness was what was keeping him so silent. If he kept driving like that he'd kill them both for sure.

"Uh…"

Kurogane could see Fai catch himself in turning to look at him and rolled his eyes. The sooner they got off the road, the better.

"but, …it's still early…" Fai's defense was half-hearted at best.

Kurogane pointed out the window at an upcoming off ramp. "There."

Fai caught his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing at it as pulled onto the indicated ramp. Kurogane watched him from the corner of his eye but it was likely that Fai never noticed, he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts.

"Where do you want to eat?" Kurogane asked. Whatever Fai was thinking about, the mood that it put him in just seemed…wrong somehow and Kurogane wanted to prod him just a little. He didn't _miss_ the smile and the laughter and the stupid annoying comments, but he thought that maybe Fai should have.

"I'm not hungry. It's so nice of Kuro-rin to think of me though." The grin had returned, or more accurately, Fai had made an incredible effort to paste it back in place but even given his false moods and varying smiling masks, this one seemed strained and out of place.

"We're stopping." Kurogane informed him, leaving no room for argument. "You can decide if you're going to eat when we get there but I won't allow that slop in my car."

Fai laughed dryly. "For wanting to go to a fast food place, you don't sound very enthusiastic about eating there."

Kurogane grunted. "It's convenient."

-

Fast food places along the country's main interstate highways were generally open around the clock so when Fai had finally found a town, it wasn't difficult to find places to eat. And of all of the places Fai could have chosen to pull into, he had chosen a McDonalds. Of course, it had to have a play land. Kurogane wondered briefly if Fai was trying to punish him for something; maybe for not wasting his last question like Fai had wanted him to.

As they pushed the door in and walked inside, Kurogane was nearly tripped by two small children running around and squealing as they chased each other. Fai laughed as he sidestepped them. In the short line ahead of them their mother reached out an arm and snagged one. Her eyes had dark circles around them and in that one instant, Kurogane felt sorry for the woman. It must be hard to travel across the country with small children like that. Children never seemed to want to sleep when they should.

"Awww….look at them Kuro-chuu! Aren't they just so sweet?" Fai cooed, grabbing onto Kurogane's arm.

"Just like tooth rot." Kurogane agreed under his breath.

"I'll bet Kuro-ru can't wait to have a dozen little Kuro-chii's running around."

Fai's grin was too wide, his eyes closed to prevent Kurogane from seeing past them, no doubt. Although, what Kurogane might have found there he couldn't even guess.

"Don't worry, some day you'll find the perfect girl."

Fai refused to meet the look that Kurogane was giving him.

"Of course, she'll have to have the patience of a saint."

Surely Kurogane's silence was unnerving him and finally Kurogane saved him, shoving him forward harshly to make his order.

Fai tripped a little on his way to the counter, but his hyper attitude picked right up for the boy who took his order. Fai's heel bounced around, stretched out behind him as he leaned on the counter. Kurogane wondered if Fai was having problems because he did not generally stay around people long enough to ever have to know them, or risk them knowing him. He must have been used to dealing with people in situations where it didn't matter how he acted in front of them because they wouldn't be around to second guess it later, and being around the same person for so long was starting to make him nervous.

It was late, so they had to wait for their order. Kurogane had missed what Fai had ordered on his behalf but he didn't care as long as it wasn't loaded with sugar. He would have preferred real food but at nearly two o'clock in the morning at some freeway restaurant, this was as good as he was going to get.

"You know Kuro-ru," Fai said as he busied himself stealing straws by the handfuls "I doubt fast food places like this have changed on the insides much since they were first invented, you know, except for the fully automated ones in the big cities."

Fai moved onto the napkins as he continued. "I don't like them. Things are too impersonal these days. You could do everything required for life without ever leaving your house and naked. You don't really _need_ other people for anything anymore and everything is on command; movies, vacations, orgasm. Do you think it's enviable that we as a race would grow so self-centered? Or did we do something wrong somewhere along the way?"

"Are you planning on leaving _any_ of those for the other customers?" Kurogane demanded as Fai's pockets started bulging out from the napkins he was stuffing in them.

Fai turned back to him, blinked as he realized that Kurogane's response had nothing to do with the question he'd asked and smiled brightly in return. "You never know when you're going to need them."

"Your order is ready."

Kurogane turned back to the counter, ignoring Fai for the moment as he went to retrieve their order. Fai was gone when he turned back, tray in hand, and he had to search through the maze of partitions and tables to find him seated at a booth in a window corner with a view of the parking lot behind him and the passing traffic at his side.

"There some reason you couldn't wait for me?" Kurogane groused, dropping the tray onto the table as hard as he could without spilling their drinks, which wasn't hard enough to get his irritation across but was loud enough in the nearly empty building to draw Fai's attention.

Fai flashed him another hundred kilowatt grin and took his clear soda. "But Kuro-chan found me so fast! Surely it wasn't any trouble." And Fai took out one of his straws and slowly pealed back the paper wrapping, taking time to shove it down into his drink and wrap his lips around it, pulling the liquid up leisurely.

Kurogane turned away, willing his cheeks to cool before Fai could claim his reaction had resembled a blush. Fai had ordered him a rather large cheeseburger, he noticed, along with fries and a coke; standard and appropriate.

"What's wrong?"

Fai looked up, startled, only just a little more startled than Kurogane was at what he'd said but, having been said, Kurogane ploughed ahead.

"You've been acting weird lately. You can talk about it, you know." Kurogane busied himself unwrapping his cheeseburger so it wouldn't seem like it mattered to him one way or the other. "I won't judge you. If you're feeling something or worried about something you should work through it, not dance around it like some kind of schizophrenic."

Kurogane might have missed Fai's small smile, so different from the one that had preceded it, sad and relenting, if he hadn't been looking for his reaction.

"I know what your last question is." Fai said and Kurogane was confused, because not even _he_ knew what his last question was. Was that what had been bothering Fai, he wondered.

"So you can ask it now." Fai continued and waited patiently for Kurogane to voice whatever it was he had calculated in his mind.

Kurogane thought for a moment. There were many things he wanted to know but there were also many things that he wouldn't allow himself to ask of the other, things that weren't any of his business. After a moment the question he asked Fai was: "Why did you come with me?"

Fai's gaze shot to him instantly, eyes wide and, if Kurogane looked for it, he could see those blue eyes light with hope.

Kurogane rushed to define his question before Fai could take advantage of it. "I mean, you could have just taken a bus. So, why travel with me? And don't give me some shit about thinking it would be fun or wanting to…"

"I'm harder to find this way." Fai answered, cutting him off. "That's all."

Fai smiled and Kurogane let it sink in. He knew he wasn't about to get any details but it was an honest answer, a straightforward and honest answer and Kurogane could find nothing to say to it, so he turned to his food instead.

"Straw?" Fai offered, holding one out to him and Kurogane accepted the offering and the smile.

"Thanks."

* * *

Post whatevers: Today's song is "Field of Innocence" by Evanescence. Yes, this fic does have a soundtrack - the music I listened to while writing the first part. When it's finished, I'll release the list if anyone's interested.

A note: Orgasm on demand. Yes, this is actually possible. Scientists have invented a small chip that stimulates the brain and could be used to cause on-demand orgasms, though they'll likely never market it. I heard of this on an episode of The Doctors, a daytime talk show that features three doctors discussing such medical breakthroughs.

As always, if you liked, please review. Ja!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP

Author's Note: After the whole Halloween thing, I haven't been able to work much on the things I'm supposed to be working on. I started a new fic with gods and got to see the first four episodes of Kobato (love!). I hope to get back to this fic and Countless Worlds very soon though.

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

_**Part 1, Chapter 3**_

Kurogane took the wheel after they left the restaurant and drove through the night until dawn. It was clear that Fai didn't like it, but neither did he complain, he seemed to want to rest a while, not that he slept, Kurogane noticed, but he did nod off a time or two, awoken as soon as his head began to lull toward the window. Kurogane hoped that his lack of sleep would show in his energy levels later on. As soon as Fai had gotten into the passenger's seat, he'd turned the radio on, letting it play softly in the background as he closed his eyes for the remainder of the night. When the sun rose, he turned to look out the window.

Kurogane spared a sidelong glance at the blonde, wondering if his silence was a sign of tiredness or thought. He didn't look depressed; he just looked as though he hadn't spoken yet.

"What is it?" Kurogane had never been the one to break the silence but since he had met Fai, Kurogane had done a lot of things he'd never done before.

Fai started, turning to Kurogane with a plastered grin. "What is what, Kuro-kun?"

Kurogane frowned. "What are you thinking." he clarified.

"I've never slept in a car before." Fai said, quick enough that Kurogane knew that was about as far from whatever he'd been thinking as he could get.

"You didn't sleep last night either." Kurogane mumbled but Fai plowed ahead as if he hadn't heard.

"I've had sex in a car," Fai tilted his head as though he were merely thinking out loud, his gaze drifting off to the side "parked and moving, and a blowjob while the person was driving. That was a bad night because he just dropped me off when he was done and I had to hitch-hike back, and pay for _that_."

Kurogane threw the blonde a disgusted look but Fai didn't notice, staring out the window. "Don't tell me that shit." Kurogane said, turning back to the road in front of him, just a little disgruntled; maybe more than he should have been. "What do I care?"

Fai nodded but did not reply.

It seemed like more of his odd behavior to Kurogane; as if something was bothering the blonde that he refused to address but Kurogane couldn't say for sure. He hadn't really known Fai long enough to gauge what behavior was _normal_, had he? It hadn't been that long. He didn't really know Fai at all. The blonde was a stranger to him, sleeping next to him, eating across from him, and making him wash his back in the bathtub. If Fai had slipped back into his thoughts, Kurogane never noticed, lost in his own as he was.

-

They stopped in a Wyoming city around mid-morning and Fai found a café with outdoor tables so they sat and ordered coffee and tea to drink while they waited for their sandwiches from the brunch menu.

Fai seemed to be in a better mood. He was grinning as he leaned forward, resting his chin on one hand while he rambled on about the sights around them.

In an effort to tune him out, Kurogane zoned in on the man sitting down at the next table. He was thin, like Fai, somewhere in his twenties if Kurogane had to guess, with short, wispy platinum blonde hair so light that could have been called white. He had on a simple pair of wire-frame glasses and a long-sleeved cream-colored shirt.

Glasses were something Kurogane had never really seen the need for. Not when corrective treatment was available. If he'd needed them, he probably wouldn't have put up with them unless he was too poor to avoid it. But then, some people liked them for some reason. He had heard that once, that some people found glasses attractive. Kurogane studied the man at the table next to them more closely. He supposed the glasses were flattering to him. They certainly didn't make him look any worse. Kurogane decided that glasses probably wouldn't go out of style as long as there were people like that to wear them. Briefly, Kurogane wondered how Fai would look with spectacles and decided that they would probably flatter him too. The kind with the frame only on the bottom, maybe.

"Kuro-puu." Fai said, his voice taking on a very put out tone. "I'm starting to get jealous."

Kurogane hadn't really realized he'd zoned out looking over at their neighbor but frowned back at Fai anyway.

"Funny."

A sly grin slipped across Fai's face, eyes narrowing suggestively. "I didn't know you liked the glasses type. He's awfully cute."

Their neighbor, thankfully, was too busy placing his order to the young waitress at his table to have noticed them or overheard their conversation. He kept pointing to different things on the menu in his hands excitedly while she frantically tried to write everything in her small notepad.

"He looks lonely." Fai said, and Kurogane instantly _hated_ the way he said it. "We should invite him to sit with us."

Kurogane tried to stop him, but like a fifth grader, Fai proceeded to catch the man's attention. By this time Kurogane had slammed his forehead into his palm and was seriously considering just standing up and walking away. Let Fai do whatever the hell he liked.

It didn't happen though.

Fai introduced himself and "Kuro-shy".

"_**KUROGANE!**_"

And asked if 'glasses', now named "Yukito", would like to join them.

He did. And happily. It was just Kurogane's luck.

The way Fai was acting you would have thought his life was now complete. Kurogane sulked as Fai immediately launched into some cockamamie story about how they were driving cross-country to see all the sights and how they'd just come from the most amazing museum of cultural history and were hoping to see the world's largest ball of yarn.

Kurogane was so disgusted. Their order came and it was literally the highlight of Kurogane's day thus far. If he ate fast enough he could claim they had to hurry to that ball of yarn now and leave that stupid glasses guy behind before Fai had a chance to embarrass him any further. If that was possible. Kurogane knew better than to put it past him.

Glasses guy, _Yukito_, had to wait until Kurogane had food in his mouth before he commented that "You guys are such a great couple. You suit each other perfectly and you look so happy together."

Fai was agreeing wholeheartedly, nodding his head while Kurogane choked on the food he'd been trying to swallow. To his credit, Yukito did seem concerned and even offered to pat his back, a terribly worried look on his face. He was the only one.

Kurogane somehow managed to force his food down and glared daggers at Fai through the tears that were forming at the corners of his vision from choking and coughing.

Fai's grin brightened at least twenty watts.

"I'm sorry." Yukito was quick to apologize, preventing Kurogane from throwing the table aside and wringing Fai's neck. "I thought you two were already…But I guess you still have some things to work out. I…I'm here with _my_ boyfriend. Well, I mean, he's my fiancé. We're getting married soon."

"Oh?" Fai interrupted. Kurogane figured he'd better eat his food quick while they were talking about Yukito's love life and Fai was less likely to claim the spotlight. "Congratulations!" Fai went on, happily.

"Thank you." Yukito answered and they had to stop for a moment as the waitress brought Yukito his order…or started to. First the waitress laid plates on the table, then a waiter, followed by another waitress, covering every available inch of the table with food.

"Are you really gonna _eat_ all that?"

Fai shot Kurogane a dirty look and Yukito blushed.

"Oh, well, it's just, I've always eaten like this. I really like food, but…in the hospital, they don't let you eat much. And nothing there tastes good. So I…snuck away for a while."

Fai was giving the other a worried look, though whether or not Fai was genuinely concerned for their new acquaintance, Kurogane couldn't tell.

"Snuck away?" Fai asked, watching as Yukito nodded back and swallowed the food in his mouth, spearing more with a fork.

"Just for a while. Toya, that's my fiancé, drove my grandparents back to their hotel room. If I'm lucky, I should be back before he even misses me."

"If you belong in the hospital you shouldn't be sneaking out just for food." Kurogane grumbled and Fai lifted one eyebrow with mild interest.

"So we have an opinion now?"

"Shut up." Kurogane snapped back. "I just meant that if you've got people worrying over you it's rude and inconsiderate to worry them unnecessarily."

"Perhaps they shouldn't worry over nothing, then." Fai suggested levelly and Kurogane's frown deepened.

"It's what people do when they care. If it's an inconvenience, you shouldn't be bothering with them in the first place."

"Well, sometimes they do it to themselves."

Kurogane opened his mouth to reply when Yukito broke in, laughing, and trying to hide it behind one hand.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… It's just you guys…you guys are so…well suited."

"Well suited?" Kurogane mumbled. He couldn't for the life of him think of any less-fitting term. He and Fai were about as mismatched as two people could get. How they had even managed to ride together in the same car for such a long way was a complete mystery to him. In fact, thinking back on it, Kurogane couldn't even say with absolute certainty how long it had been that they had been traveling together. If he looked at it one way, it seemed like a few days and another way, an eternity.

Kurogane looked across the table at Fai, who was being uncharacteristically silent, finishing off his tea. Fai was just using him to run away. When he found the Green Drugstore, or maybe before that even, when he parted ways with Fai, he would never see him again, never hear of him. It would be as if they had never known each other, what little of each other they knew would be irrelevant information and Kurogane would go back to his own life.

"I'm glad I came out." Yukito said, looking up to the blue, cloudy sky. "It's such a beautiful day today."

Fai followed his gaze to the sky and hummed an agreeance.

Kurogane discretely finished his sandwich.

"It must be fun to sight see." Yukito mused, half-way through the food on their table. "I mean, to just get out and see the world, without a destination or a time table. Someday, I'd love to…"

"Kurogane glanced over at the other, finding his sudden pause ill-placed, and was shocked to find Yukito clutching a hand over his chest, fisting the t-shirt he was wearing with white knuckles.

Kurogane shot to his feet, alarmed.

"Yukito?" Fai, just as shocked, leaned across the table, a hand hovering just above the other man's shoulder. "Kuro-rin, call an ambulance!"

"I can't. Somebody call an ambulance!" Kurogane yelled.

* * *

Kurogane hated hospitals. He assumed he hated them along with most of the general population of the planet. His mother had been in and out of the hospital until finally they had had nothing left to do but give her the choice of dying there or at home. She had died at home. It was the only memory that brought tears to Kurogane's eyes. The pain was still fresh in his heart, but at least he had had time to prepare.

"What kind of person doesn't have a cell phone?"

They were the first words Fai had spoken since they'd arrived and they were quiet and soft. They had followed the ambulance to the hospital and Yukito had been stabilized and was resting.

"I don't know, where's yours?" Kurogane wasn't in the mood for these games.

"In a trash can in New Chicago…last I saw."

Fai let the silence take over.

"I dropped mine in the ocean."

Fai turned to look at him. "The _ocean_? Like the _ocean_ ocean?"

"I took a ferry from Japan so I could bring my car and I lost the phone over the side trying to pick up a call."

Fai laughed. It started out slow but it picked up into a steady sound that for once, Kurogane was glad to hear.

Fai, who was sitting in the chair at the bedside, jerked when Yukito reached out, brushing his hand.

"Sorry for worrying you guys." Yukio mumbled sleepily.

Fai quickly plastered on a smile and took Yukito's hand in his. "Don't be ridiculous."

-

Just then, the door flew open and a tall, dark haired man stepped in.

"Yuki, you promised me you would stay put."

"I promised that _yesterday_." Yukito said, smiling brightly in return. "They tried to feed me that glop again, so I just went out to that café down the road. And look, I made new friends."

The man paused to take note of Fai and Kurogane and sighed. "Thank you."

"We didn't do anything." Kurogane returned.

"It's true." Fai agreed. "Kuro-tan threw his phone out in the ocean so we were pretty much useless."

The dark-haired man raised an eyebrow pointedly in Kurogane's direction and it was a sickening realization to Kurogane that he had missed his cue.

"_Kurogane_." he growled.

"I'm Toya." the man supplied.

"And I'm Fai!" the blonde added, pointing to himself with a wide grin.

Toya sighed, pulling up the room's only other chair to Yukito's other side, opposite Fai.

"It's minor surgery." Toya said, "but if anything happens beforehand…"

Yukito lay his hand over Toya's. "I'm sorry."

Toya gripped Yukto's hand in his own and smiled, or tried to. "You guys are welcome to stay." he said, turning to address Kurogane. "I'll make us all dinner."

"Yukito is lucky." Fai said with a grin. "Kuro-puu never cooks for me, I have to do _everything_ myself, the cooking and the laundry and the sewing…" Fai pouted and Yukito seemed sympathetic.

"Don't tell lies!" Kurogane shouted. "You don't do _anything_!"

"And he yells all the time." Fai whined.

"You bastard!" Kurogane growled. "Leave me out of your lies and twisted fantasies!"

"Yukito's surgery is scheduled for the day after tomorrow, early in the morning." Toya said, changing the subject fluidly. "I sleep here but if you'd like, I can recommend some good hotels."

"We'll stay too." Fai said, answering for them both and Kurogane narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out just what Fai was doing. They had no business here, and they didn't have enough room for them to begin with. "We couldn't just abandon our new friend, right, Kuro-tan?" Fai added, as though sensing Kurogane's suspicion.

Kurogane grunted and turned away. It wouldn't kill him to make sure glasses lived, he supposed. It would have made his mother happy. She'd always wished he would show that he cared about others more. Not that it would impact him in any way if Yukito _didn't_ live, but it wasn't as though he disliked the guy. He could stick around.

-

That night, Fai brought up the box of luck from the car and set it on the end table next to Yukito's bed, open. He explained all about how it worked while Kurogane listened on from the chair in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, waiting to get tired enough to actually fall asleep there. Toya had left to use the bathroom and stretch his legs for a few minutes.

"Does it really work?" Yukito asked, in curious awe.

Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Of course it works!" Fai insisted. "Would you believe that every single motel we've been to since our journey started had only rooms with one bed?"

"That has nothing to do with that stupid box." Kurogane argued. "It was just a series of unfortunate coincidences."

"And we haven't crashed even once or had one single fight." Fai continued as though Kurogane hadn't spoken.

That couldn't be true. Kurogane tried to think back. Surely they had fought over something. Fai was the most annoying person on the face of the planet. If they hadn't had one single fight, something was wrong. But Kurogane couldn't think of any particular incident that would qualify as an actual _fight_.

"Kuro-rin's only blaming the box because we haven't gotten to second base yet." Fai whispered, loud enough for Kurogane to hear across the room.

"Shut up!" Kurogane yelled, bolting up from the chair. His face was burning. He could feel it. "God, I'm going for a walk." he said, with what he hoped was disgust and not embarrassment.

As he shut the door behind him, Kurogane was engulfed in the nighttime silence of the hospital hallways. Deciding to find a vending machine, he turned and followed the hall to his right. Every step that he took sounded loudly around him, echoing off of the hard, shinning floors and white walls.

He almost wished he'd stayed in the room, where the hospital smells weren't so predominant. Kurogane could remember when he'd first left New Chicago with Fai, how the other man's smell had seemed so intruding; the scent of his shampoo and his fabric softener and other smells that made a person an individual. He didn't seem to notice Fai's smell so much anymore and when he smelled the scent of Fai's shampoo, it wasn't as _loud_ as it had once been. It had become more of a pleasant accent. He must have been getting used to the other's presence, and Fai gathering the smells of his car and…him…when they slept together.

Kurogane shook his head. He didn't want to think about Fai. Why had he left the damn room in the first place? To get away from the idiot, not to think about him.

Kurogane looked up, hearing a _thunk_ sound and found he had come across the vending machines. Toya was stooping to pick up a candy bar from the food machine.

-

Kurogane got himself a coke and the two sat on a bench in the hallway. After a moment of silence, Toya turned to Kurogane, probably figuring he should have a conversation with the other as long as they were both there. Kurogane really just wanted some peace and quiet; and he didn't care who was there to witness it, but Toya spoke.

"Your…friend is…interesting."

Kurogane rolled his eyes. Must've been a difficult sentence for the guy to get through, seeing as it was entirely bunk.

"He's not my _friend_." Kurogane muttered, taking a swig of his soda and wishing they'd had tea that wasn't completely disgusting.

"Seems _he_ thinks he is." Toya countered and Kurogane frowned.

"The guy lies for a living. If he told you he was an alien from outer space, you'd probably believe that too."

Toya chuckled. "Guess it must be hard to see something you can't get to."

Kurogane quirked an eyebrow and turned, giving the other man his attention.

"That's what you meant, isn't it? When he's lying you see through it. He knows that but it doesn't matter, because he doesn't trust you enough yet to let that defense go."

Kurogane turned his gaze across the hall to a painting hanging there; an ocean, clear and blue stretching into the horizon, framed in black.

"The guy's neurotic, or something… He switches gears as fast as a goddamn race car. He probably had a different attitude for every person he ever knew. Now since I'm the only one around, I'm gettin' 'em all."

Somehow, that ocean reminded him of Fai, or maybe the thought of Fai, so small against that vastness, so easily lost in it…

"I don't even think _he_ knows who he is."

"Oh, I don't know." Toya followed Kurogane's line of sight to the picture frame, but Toya did not find in it what Kurogane had found. "Maybe he does know, and that's why he's hiding. People like that hide their true selves, because they're either disgusted themselves, or afraid other people would be disgusted. Not that I'm saying I know Fai, or anything, but I did do pretty well in my college psychology courses." Toya offered Kurogane a grin and got up, throwing his empty candy wrapper into a nearby trash can.

Kurogane heaved a sigh, leaning back against the wall as Toya rounded a corner and disappeared on his way back to the room.

He shouldn't get invested in Fai. It seemed he had told himself this already. The guy was annoying and fake, two things that Kurogane despised in people. If he could only blind himself to what lay beneath the surface, this wouldn't be so hard. But no matter how long he stood on the shore, the ocean would never part for him, giving up its long-hidden treasures without a fight. If someone wanted something from the ocean, they would have to jump in.

If only he knew what it was that he wanted from it in the first place.

-

"Kuro-tan! Play strip poker with us!"

Fai waved a deck of cards around from his chair next to Yukito's bed.

"I would _**never**_!" Kurogane yelled. "Don't do such lewd things in a hospital! Do you have _any_ sense of public decency _at all_?"

Fai's outfit for the day consisted of faded blue jeans and an oversized white shirt that purposefully fell down one shoulder with a large collar. It was probably meant to be worn with a tighter shirt underneath but Fai, of course, had nothing underneath it.

Fai cocked his head cutely. "Decency?" he repeated, feigning confusion.

"Yeah, that little voice in your head that tells you to stop when putting on revealing clothing and coercing sick people to play _strip poker _in a _hospital_!"

Yukito seemed to be enjoying the show immensely.

"It's okay, Kuro-ruu, I'm sure you're bigger than _one _of us, we'll get some other people to play."

Kurogane turned an irritating shade of purple, his fists clenched at his sides, shaking with the force of holding them back. "You bastard!"

"Eeee! Kuro-puppy is angry!" Fai thrilled and Kurogane lunged for the blonde, missing him by a hair.

He didn't give a shit what was under the stupid ocean. They could have the whole fricking city of Atlantis down there for all he cared.

"Get back here you stupid shit!" Kurogane yelled, grabbing the doorframe as he swung into the hallway in pursuit.

-

Yukito was not allowed to leave the room or to eat anything but the hospital's diet-inducing food so close to the time of his operation, so Toya, Fai, and Kurogane spent the day there with him, running through every card and board game the hospital would lend them.

Kurogane had not played such games since he had played them with his mother and now they gave him a sense of nostalgia he couldn't say he disliked.

"Awwww! Kuro-pyon! I lost agaaain!" Fai whined, grabbing onto Kurogane's arm pathetically.

"Don't tell me you've never played card games before!" Kurogane countered, shaking his arm in an attempt to dislodge the blonde.

"Kuro-puu is so mean! Of course I've played cards. But when you get paid for one skill, they generally expect you to spend your time working on that and not playing games."

Kurogane's arm eased itself back to his side and in response, Fai let it go.

"What is it that you do, Fai?" Yukito asked, conversationally and Fai replied with a brilliant grin.

"Why don't you ask Kuro-tan."

Kurogane remained silent for a moment, then turned his cards over two at a time.

"Full house."

-

When the hospital staff brought Yukito his lunch, Kurogane and Fai walked to the hospital's lunchroom for something to eat.

Kurogane looked in at all of the food in the machines and finally decided on a simple cup of Ramen for a dollar and a half. Dumping the change from his wallet into his hand, he started picking out quarters, but Fai reached over and put a five in the machine for him. Kurogane frowned at the blonde, a comment along the lines of his ability to pay for his own food on the tip of his tongue when Fai smiled and Kurogane paused. This smile was a bit dimmer than the smiles that seemed to proceed his idiocy.

"Consider it my apology. For earlier. I won't do that again, I'm sorry. I just want to enjoy my time together with Kuro-mu while it lasts."

Kurogane grunted and took his ramen and moved aside for Fai to chose his food.

-

Halfway through his ramen, Kurogane became frustrated with the silence between them. Somehow, Fai and silence just didn't seem to fit well. But there were boundaries around and between them, questions they were not allowed to ask and skeletons they were not allowed to exhume. Fai could ask him nothing, for fear of receiving questions in return and Fai's life was a taboo subject and Kurogane's life was a taboo subject and these boundaries served to keep them at arms length but they were riddled with windows and small rips and tears and lost their effectiveness with time.

"We should leave tomorrow." Kurogane said. The present was their only neutral ground; only today and only tonight.

"We should leave tonight." Fai countered in the same tone. "Yukito's grandparents will come back tomorrow for the surgery. We'll just be in the way."

Kurogane wasn't sure. Weren't they going to stick around until things were settled? But he nodded his head anyway.

"They'll be ok." Fai said, and possibly he was talking to himself, but Kurogane nodded anyway.

-

"Fai," Yukito said while they were watching sitcom reruns on the room's embedded tv. Fai gave Yukito his attention, turning away from the television show. He was sitting on the bed next to the other man, reclining with him while Kurogane read a book Toya had brought and Toya was working on the internet via his cell phone.

"I'd like it if you and Kurogane came to our wedding. It'll just be a small thing with a few people, but if you want to come, I'd be happy to see you again."

Kurogane looked up from the book, studying Fai's reaction.

Fai smiled, predictably, but Kurogane couldn't read into the expression.

"I'd really like that! I'm sure Kuro-chan would too, but we might not make it. Kuro-pu lives all the way in Japan and I don't know if we'll be able to come back here for a while."

Kurogane quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, that's ok." Yukito said understandingly. "I'll just give you all the information and if you can make it, that'd be great!"

"It would!" Fai agreed, trying to mirror Yukito's tone. He was so close, Kurogane didn't think that the other two could notice the difference. Kurogane noticed.

"I'll let Kuro-ta hang onto it." Fai said, taking the note to Kurogane. "Since I tend to lose small things." He would not let Kurogane see his eyes as he smiled at the other and Kurogane took the slip of paper from his hand.

-

Fai took up his chair next to Yukito's bed at nine-thirty and folded his arms on the mattress to rest.

"Fai," Yukito said, tired from the medication he was being given. "thank you for staying here with me. We're friends, right, Fai?"

"Yes." Fai whispered in the dim light of the monitors.

"Promise me you'll be happy when we see each other again."

"…I will."

-

It was eleven thirty when Fai slowly got up and crossed the floor to Kurogane, waiting in the chair in the corner. Fai stooped to his knees and folded his arms across Kurogane's leg, laying his head to rest over them.

Kurogane didn't move, just let him stay there.

"Let's go." Fai whispered at length and both stood, taking note of their sleeping companions on their way out and closing the door gently behind them.

On the nightstand, the box-of-luck sat open.

* * *

**Omake! **: Since this story is told from Kurogane's point of view, anything that happens outside his awareness can't be told (although I have broken that once for one line that I had to have) but just because he doesn't know certain things doesn't mean that _I_ don't need to know them. So this scene, taking place in the hospital while Kurogane was talking with Toya can't be in the fic but you can still read it since it was written anyway.

---------

"You're very lucky. Kurogane, he's a good man."

Fai laughed lightly. "I didn't know you could tell."

"I can tell how much you care about him. You should show him."

"But I do show him!" Fai's wide grin seemed heavy, weighted, even to him.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. It isn't any of my business. But if you don't give him a chance, he can't prove himself."

Fai's smile became small but it felt lighter and was easier for him to bear. "You shouldn't worry about Kuro-tan and me. We'll both do alright. We're on our way to the places we belong. I'm sure we'll both be very happy once we get there."

* * *

Post whatevers: Last time, I said that The Doctors was a panel of 3 doctors. I don't know why I said that. It's 4, not 3. Just imagine I held up four fingers and said "three".

A note on medical advancements: Advancement in medical treatments steadily occurs over time so Yukito's "minor surgery" would, by today's standards, be considered "major surgery" and corrective treatment in regards to glasses has also advanced considerably.

Fai with Glasses: Kurogane's vision of a Fai with glasses comes from an official clamp artwork.

As always, if you liked, please review. Ja!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP

Author's Note: This fic seems to move along so fast even though a lot is happening. I look back at what's been written and have trouble remembering what chapter certain events were in. I have some research to do before I can write more for it. I'd hate to put up the next chapter for Christmas (being what it is) so I'll wish you all a Merry Christmas with this and hope I can get something else up closer to the end of the month.

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

* * *

_**Part 1, Chapter 4**_

It didn't take Kurogane long to realize that they were on the wrong freeway now that he had time to think about it. Kurogane had intended to be heading south already but he had forgotten to tell Fai to exit route 80 when he had been driving. It didn't matter though, Kurogane figured. According to a map he had glanced at on Toya's cell phone, he could find the same freeway he had planned on taking from Salt Lake City, where they were now headed. They'd lost time but time seemed to be losing its value fast to Kurogane.

Fai was listening to his oldies channel again, singing along as he lay back contentedly, resting his eyes.

Kurogane listened to the easy sound, letting it fill the increasingly companionable silence that sometimes fell between them.

"_I had a dream we went away_

_Left this city for a day_

_You took me southwards on a plane and showed me Spain or somewhere_

_But in reality you're_

_Not so keen to show me anything_

_And I thought you'd like me_"

Fai sat up, opening his eyes and grinned at Kurogane, catching him watching out of the corner of his eye.

"_Hey show some love_

_You ain't so tough_

_Come fill my little world right up, right up_

_Some day you're going to realize_…

Kuro-tan," Fai said, abandoning the song altogether.

Kurogane offered him a noise of acknowledgement and Fai continued on happily.

"I want to go to Reno. It's right on the way. I'll buy us a nice hotel room for the night and we can have fun at the casino. Please! Can we?!"

"…Fine."

Fai paused. "…Really?"

Obviously he'd been expecting a harder time of convincing him. "Sure, whatever. I've never been to a casino."

Fai lit up. "Really? They're lots of fun! They have card games and dice games and lots of flashing lights!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Yay!" Fai cheered. "Fai and Kuro-tan's great, amazing gambling trip!"

"You ever won anything going to one of those casino places?" Kurogane asked, purely for conversation's sake.

"Never once!" Fai cheered. "I've played slots lots of times and I've never, ever won, but I've been with other people who won lots of money!"

"Clients?" Kurogane asked, careful to keep it a simple, neutral question and Fai paused, trying to gauge the undercurrent.

Finding it safe, he nodded. "Yup. I am a very popular good luck charm. It's kind of funny. The only money I've ever made at a casino was from kissing dice." Again Fai paused and finding no animosity in the dark haired man, he pushed his concerns aside and went on. "I will gladly kiss Kuro-pu's dice." he added, fluffing Kurogane's hair.

Kurogane frowned exaggeratingly at the blonde. "And I would gladly knock you on your ass for it. I'm not some pansy that needs his dice kissed to play a game of pure chance. All that crap is just for show anyway."

"Nope!" Fai agreed, laughing. "Kuro-dandylion is no pansy, that's for sure!"

Kurogane swerved slightly trying to smack Fai in the head.

"_Don't dodge me_ you stupid shit!"

Fai laughed merrily, watching Kurogane from between threads of blonde, curtaining his face as he slumped forward in his seat.

-

It was early morning when they found a town to stop for breakfast; eggs, bacon, and toast. It was undoubtedly one of the best meals Kurogane had had since coming to the states. Fai's eggs had cheese in them and his toast had strawberry jelly. Fai had wanted his bacon caramel-coated but even the waitress had given him a strange look at that, so Fai's bacon was the only edible thing on his plate, as far as Kurogane was concerned. He seemed to be enjoying himself though.

"Does Kuro-ta want a taste?" Fai asked, catching Kurogane staring at his plate.

Hadn't he ever been taught that staring was rude? Kurogane tried to remember if his mother had ever scolded him for that before but couldn't remember. He wished he'd stop doing it now.

"Not in this lifetime." Kurogane grunted, but while his mouth was open for talking, Fai shoved a forkful of eggs in it.

Kurogane almost choked from the shock alone, but, having the things in his mouth, found they weren't all that bad. Actually, they were pretty good.

Kurogane swallowed. "If you ever do that again, I'll kick your ass!"

-

After breakfast, Fai insisted that they catch a movie at a local theater. Kurogane hated movie theaters. He would have much rather rented a movie to watch at home on his own couch, in front of his own television, but Fai wouldn't let it go until Kurogane finally snapped.

"Fine! If it'll shut you up!"

"Yay!" Fai cheered.

Kurogane couldn't quite place it, Fai did seem genuinely happy, but there was something, not quite _off_, exactly, but…below the surface…maybe, about the whole thing. It would only frustrate him further to think about it, Kurogane decided, so he would shove the whole thing to the back of his mind. At least in a movie theater Fai would have to be quiet, right? It was all about the silver lining.

-

Fai picked a fantasy romance for their movie, a theater flooded with couples and teenage girls. Kurogane felt a headache coming on but he didn't dare make a scene. Thankfully, they sat in the back where they were largely ignored.

At first, Kurogane tried watching the movie, hoping that would make it go by faster, but Fai's leg, continually bouncing up and down at the corner of his vision, kept him distracted. Finally, he reached over and grabbed the blonde's knee harshly, holding it down.

"Stop it." Kurogane growled, but instead of nodding and settling his leg, like Kurogane hoped he would, Fai lurched over and grabbed him by the arm, snuggling up close and brought his feet up on the seat with him. Kurogane opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it. Fai wasn't making absurd remarks or drawing anyone else's attention, which was exactly what _he_ would do if he tried to pry the blonde off of him.

So Kurogane sat back and gave his attention over to the movie with a sigh. It was a love story about an angel sent to earth to evaluate the human race and a human, caught in the middle of a war. By the end of the movie, the girl had been murdered and his sleeve was wet.

"Wasn't it beautiful when Amuretta pleaded for the earth, despite everything she had been through?" Fai said, sniffling as he wiped his eyes on the back of his hand.

"Only you would think that." Kurogane grunted. "If she had taken the angel guy's offer she would have lived."

"Living isn't everything." Fai responded. "There are more important things."

"Not after you're dead." Kurogane answered with finality.

"I didn't know it was going to be a sad movie." Fai said. "I wanted to see something _happy_ with Kuro-tan."

He sniffled again and Kurogane would've offered him a tissue if he'd had one.

"We'll drown it in the flashing lights at the casino." Kurogane offered and Fai gave him a sly grin.

"Why, Kuro-ru, are you trying to cheer me up?" he asked and his tone instantly restored Kurogane's frown.

"I just meant we have to get going. We've wasted enough time here as it is."

Fai's sly grin did not go away and he slid his arms around Kurogane's arm, holding it tight. "Kuro-pu is such a gentleman. He always knows just what to say!"

"Would you stop referring to me as if I wasn't here?" Kurogane griped and Fai laughed merrily.

-

Fai was in an extremely good mood when they returned to the car and got back on the road. Kurogane secretly wondered if he'd somehow gotten his hands on caffeine when he wasn't looking.

"Kuro-pyon! Play car games with me!"

"What the hell are _car games_?" Kurogane snapped back. He wasn't about to play I Spy with the idiot.

"You know, like I Spy and 20 questions and the letter game!" Fai replied eagerly.

Kurogane sighed deeply. "Do you _have_ a normal setting?"

"I'm not a computer, Kuro-woof." Fai returned matter-of-factly and Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Obviously. A computer could remember that my name is _Kurogane_."

"All the more reason you should be glad you're traveling with me." Fai stated, nodding. "A computer wouldn't care, you see. _I_ care. I care that Kuro-fluff's name is cute. Who else would make sure you had a cute name to counteract that serious face?" Fai reached over, pinching Kurogane's cheek playfully and Kurogane swatted his hand away angrily.

"Don't _do_ that!"

"Ok, Kuro-pin," Fai declared, as if he were going to great lengths to compromise, "we'll play the letter game."

So they played the letter game until Kurogane lost. Because he couldn't come up with an animal that began with the letter H after Fai had said fish and hippo had already been used. Fai wanted to change the category and play again but Kurogane refused. He wouldn't admit it, but he hated to lose.

It was afternoon and Kurogane began to wonder how many hours he had spent in this car with Fai since the two had met. How many hours had Fai remained silent, leaving him to his thoughts as he listened to the radio? Why did he feel as though they should talk now?

After pouting briefly over Kurogane's refusal to play any more games with him, Fai decided to tell him all about casino games. He explained several card games and dice games with great detail concerning rules and tricks to winning, when it was good to fold and when to bluff.

Kurogane wondered if Fai thought he was going to spend the night gambling and decided to tell him right now that that wasn't the case.

"That's all well and good, but I'm not planning to spend the entire night in front of a blackjack table while you hang around looking pretty, you know."

"Aww, Kuro-pie thinks I look pretty!" Fai cooed.

"Seriously, what planet did you come from?"

* * *

They could see the lights of Reno coloring the night sky pink miles before they ever entered the city. Fai sat forward in his seat, waiting for the sight like a child, eyes wide and smile fixed in place. And when they finally came upon it, Fai gasped in awe and wonder. Even Kurogane was captivated by the sight. In Reno, under the pale night sky, the multi-colored lights lit up around them like stars in a milky way of color. Traffic crawled through the city at a pace that allowed both men to fully take in the large moving signs and flashing billboards and sea of glowing buildings one at a time.

Kurogane had never been in such a surreal place in all his life. Fai's music, playing on obliviously in the background, seemed in stark contrast to the world they had now found themselves in but Kurogane did not turn it off. Instead he rolled his window down, letting the chill night air wash into the car.

It seemed to jumpstart Fai who turned to him suddenly and said "Isn't it _amazing_, Kuro-bu!"

Kurogane nodded. "Yea…but my name is _Kurogane_." he added with a slight frown.

Fai ignored him. "Which casino should we go to? We should find a hotel-casino so we don't have to drive around again later. Oh, Kuro-chu! I want a hotel with a big fountain in front like that one!"

Fai pointed out the window and Kurogane saw an elaborate spouting fountain centered in a courtyard in front of a grand hotel. He almost wished he'd brought a camera. Or hadn't lost his phone. It really was an impressive sight. But, having seen it belatedly, Kurogane had no way of getting them to it through the traffic so he kept driving, looking for other similar fountains.

-

Twenty minutes later, Kurogane had found an enormous casino-hotel, complete with fountain that made Fai squeal with delight, that he could actually get to and pulled off of the road into the parking garage.

A parking attendant took the car for them, and a bellhop took their bags, leading them to an elevator and into the hotel.

"I thought this kind of thing was only in Las Vegas." Kurogane muttered, looking around them at the splendor of the hotel lobby as they were led to the front desk.

"Kuro-pu's envisioning is a little outdated." Fai said, grinning himself as he surveyed their surroundings.

"Welcome to the Golden Arch Casino and Hotel, gentlemen." a young man at the desk greeted them. He was only one of three attendants behind the large wooden structure, the other two busy with customers of their own. "Please tell me what type of experience you'd like here and I can get you set up right away."

Fai took charge immediately, pulling out his thin wallet from a back pocket as he spoke. "We'd like the biggest room you have available, laundry and room service, casino and alcohol."

The man behind the counter, dressed uniformly in the hotel's golden and crimson uniforms, pressed a series of buttons on a touch screen in front of him and smiled at Fai in a very practiced, professional manner. "Will that be credit or instant?"

"Instant." Fai answered, sliding a card across the counter along with his id.

"And your id, sir?" the man asked of Kurogane, snapping him out of the slight daze he'd been lost in.

Kurogane dug into his pant's pocket for his old, brown leather wallet and pulled out his id.

These days, everything could be entered into your cell phone and the cell phone scanned for instant access, but it was always a good idea to have backup hard copies, should one ever drop their cell phone into an ocean.

The man behind the counter processed their information quickly and efficiently and returned their cards to them with another professional smile. "Your instant cash card can now be scanned and used as the key for room 375. Should you scan your card at any point after 24 hours have passed from now, another day's charge will be deducted from your card for the room's fee. Please enjoy your stay."

"Thank you." Fai replied, replacing the two cards in his wallet.

"Would you like me to show you to your room now or shall I leave the bags inside for you?" the bellhop asked.

"The rooms please." Fai answered. To Kurogane, he said "I really need a shower before we do anything."

Kurogane nodded. A hot shower sounded good to him, too. He was beginning to feel dirty from missing his daily, sometimes bi-daily, shower, even though he hadn't thought of it until just then. So they followed the quick-moving bellhop back to the elevators and up to room 375. He sat their bags on the floor and bowed to them slightly before leaving them to settle themselves into their room.

Fai hesitated dramatically before swiping his card through the key slot and turning the door knob. "Ready, Kuro-sama?"

"Just open the damn door."

Fai opened the door and Kurogane nearly fell over. It was as if Fai had opened the door to another dimension.

A soft, golden light greeted them and a soft warmth beckoned them inside. They stepped across the threshold, onto the plush, rich crimson carpet, feeling their feet sink gently into it, just enough to feel luxurious but not so much as to be a hindrance. Heavy, velvet crimson curtains covered one wall across the room, on their own side, the bathroom door stood open, offering a peek of its own splendor. A full desk, complete with embedded computer and swivel chair sat against the wall to their right next to the room's centerpiece.

The room's single bed was easily large enough to accommodate four adults, three comfortably and with plenty of room, and was dressed by satin sheets and a light satin overlay, pulled back to show off the crimson, gold, and black color scheme. The metal headboard rose above the bed with intricate overlapping bars that had both sharp corners and rounded, sweeping swirls. To their left was a long couch with two lounge chairs at either end, all arranged around a glass-top coffee table set before a large screen embedded tv. Further down that wall was a refrigerator and counter with several small appliances and cupboards.

"How the hell much did you pay for this?!" Kurogane shouted, as soon as his mouth would work again. He was literally in shock.

"Silly, Kuro-pu, don't worry about the cost." Fai chastised. "This isn't something we do everyday, after all."

Kurogane crossed the room to the curtains and pulled them back to find a large screen, set behind a wall of glass patio doors. The damn room even had a VR screen to imitate outdoor settings behind a patio that didn't exist.

"Ridiculous."

-

Fai was unpacking his suitcase, sitting before him on the bed, piling clothes next to it. "Kuro-rin, if the laundry lady comes before I'm out of the bath, would you give her all these?" he said, indicating the pile he'd made as he zipped up his suitcase and dropped it onto the floor, kicking it under the bed unceremoniously.

And then he disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, leaving Kurogane alone in the room, feeling lost in its sheer vastness.

For want of something to do, Kurogane wandered over to the refrigerator and opened it up. The door was full of drinks of all kinds; soda, beer, wine, champagne, water, and juice. On the shelves were mainly snack foods but Kurogane remembered that Fai had ordered room service so perhaps they were meant to order their meals in. Kurogane closed the door, his stomach reminding him that it was meal time and it did not enjoy being ignored, and turned to the tv. From a touch panel on the wall, he found a weather channel and tuned in just long enough to hear that it was going to be a beautiful, sunny day tomorrow.

Fai still had not returned from the bathroom.

Kurogane thought of asking how much longer he was going to be, maybe asking if Fai wanted him to order them some dinner before they went down to the casino, but somehow, the way Fai had closed the door behind him made Kurogane abandon that thought. For whatever reason, Fai did not want to be disturbed.

Kurogane shut off the television and looked around again, looking for something to occupy himself with. His eyes fell on the desk and computer and he had an idea. Kurogane sat down to the desk, activating the computer. The screen rose from the desk and lit up, already connected to the internet.

He brought up the yellow pages and tried to find the Green Drugstore. It took him a few tries before he figured out how to broaden the search to all of California. By then the laundry lady had come. He had to get up to let her in and then dump out all of his own clothes for her. She told him she would return them to the room for him as soon as they were dry.

Fai still had not come out of the bathroom.

Kurogane sat back down to the computer and continued his search. There was only one Green Drugstore in all of California, according to the national yellow pages. It was on the edge of New Los Angeles; in Survivor's City.

After the earthquake that had carved California a new coast line and devastated its population, survivors had moved inland to create a new city. Officially, the new city had been named New Los Angeles, by the city of California, but its citizens called it Survivor's City and the name had stuck. Survivor's City was the epicenter of California's hope and determination. It was the soul of the future. That was the way it was referred to; the inspiration of the world. It was also a sprawling metropolis that would require his GPS just to get into. The thought of trying to find a single drug store in Survivor's City, filled Kurogane with a dread akin to that of someone looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.

Kurogane shut the computer down and emptied the remaining set of clean clothes from his duffle bag, throwing it on one of the chairs out of the way.

Just then, Fai _finally_ emerged from the bathroom, a trail of steam following him into the main room as he dried at his hair with a towel draped across his shoulders.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "Do you like steak?"

Kurogane frowned. "This is costing you a lot as it is."

Fai abandoned his towel and closed the distance between them, placing one foot purposefully in front of the other as he walked, but Kurogane would not be distracted so easily. Fai ought to have known that by now.

"I told you," Fai reminded him, reaching out with one slender finger to poke him in the nose. "Tonight, I'm going to splurge. How do you like your steak?"

"Medium." Kurogane answered levelly, taking the opportunity to look Fai square in the eyes. "I'm going to take a shower."

Kurogane moved to walk around Fai but the other turned and latched onto him in protest.

"Nyaa, Kuro-sa should take a bath so I can wash his back!"

"I don't take _baths_." Kurogane clarified. "And I certainly don't need you in there with me." Kurogane kept walking, ignoring Fai until he finally released him at the bathroom door.

"Don't you ever _want_ anything?" Fai asked, but Kurogane shut the door in his face, clicking the lock in place with an easy snap.

What he _wanted_ was honesty.

-

When Kurogane got out of the shower, clean and dry, he found Fai setting chairs to a small round table he'd found in an invisible closet, meaning that the closet door fit perfectly against the wall and could only be opened by a touch pad.

Fai smiled brightly at him. "Dinner will be here in just a few minutes."

The lights had been dimmed and looking past him, Kurogane noticed that Fai had parted the curtains on their VR screen, revealing a backdrop of nighttime Paris beyond the glass doors, complete with Eifel Tower.

"How does Kuro-ru like Paris?"

Kurogane grunted but he had to admit "… Nice."

This reaction seemed to encourage the blonde and Fai went over to the television, using its touch-pad to raise the volume slightly on a music channel he had on mute. Soft instrumental music added to the Paris backdrop.

"Kuro-min is lucky, he's been to other places." Fai commented, turning his back on Kurogane and clasping his hands together behind his back as he took in the Paris lights. "Not everybody can do that, so it's nice to pretend sometimes. I know Kuro-chan doesn't understand. I make a living in the business of pretend so I know, everybody wants their dreams to come true. Sometimes pretend is the only way to make that happen."

Kurogane really _didn't _understand. "If you wanted to go to Paris, you could have went with just the money you've spent so far tonight."

Kurogane saw the blonde's head dip forward, a short exhale of breath, amusement, and the slight movement of his shoulders that went along with the almost-laugh.

"Kuro-puu is so simplistic."

Kurogane was just about to ask if that was supposed to be some sort of insult, when a knock on the door alerted them to their dinner.

Fai let the waiter in with their dinner and waited while he sat it up on the table for them, complete with candles which he lit before bowing deeply to them and taking his leave, leaving them with the cart for their dishes.

Kurogane found himself staring at the table. The dim lights brought out the VR backdrop and the music made it feel as if they were actually there, but the candles made him wary. The candles were a bit much, in Kurogane's opinion. _Romantic_, was the word.

"You'd have to actually hold your hand in the flame for several seconds before those candles could bite you, Kuro-pii." Fai commented with amusement, apparently catching him staring at them, and took his seat, not waiting for Kurogane.

Kurogane growled and took the seat opposite Fai, positioned so they could both see Paris. He wanted to tell Fai that this was _not _a date between them, and he was _not_ going to play pretend with Fai, but he decided to wait for the blonde to make some inevitable comment on it first. But Fai never did. He never said anything about the setup. Instead, he lifted the shinning silver lid from his pasta dish, covered in a white sauce, and poured himself some of the light wine from the ice bucket between them. And began to eat in silence.

Kurogane turned to his own dish, lifting the lid to find the promised steak, releasing a mouthwatering smell into the air just below Kurogane's nose. Fai said nothing as he poured himself a glass of the wine, cut his steak, chewed and swallowed the first piece. Then he spoke.

"How is it?"

He seemed almost apprehensive. He seemed to want to know. So Kurogane speared a cut with his fork and held it out in silent offering. When one pays as much as Fai must surely have paid for this meal, that person should at least have the benefit of a taste. Especially when Fai's only meat was the small cuts of chicken in his pasta dish.

Fai smiled graciously at him. "Oh, no, thank you. I'm not really big on steak."

And refused.

Kurogane was speechless. Was that how it worked, then? Fai could do whatever the hell he wanted; cling to him, stuff his face with unwanted food, poke and prod and annoy the hell out of him but he could not even share a piece of food with him? Fai wanted nothing to do with him unless he was in complete control? Had he offered to pay, would Fai then have been suddenly not hungry?

Kurogane returned the piece of food to his plate with a private frown.

"It's fine."

Suddenly, it didn't taste quite as good as it had a minute ago.

Fai seemed oblivious to Kurogane's disappointment. He finished his pasta and wine and leaned forward, his chin resting against the back of his hand as he looked out on a fake Paris with all the reverence one would show the real Paris. "I'm going to play the dice tonight." he said. "What about Kuro-sama? Do you want to play cards, or dice?" Fai turned his gaze to Kurogane and he found it difficult to remain angry at someone who likely didn't know they'd done anything upsetting. But he still felt that keen disappointment deep inside, somewhere he couldn't reach it, or ignore it, or let it go.

"I want Kuro-pu to be happy tonight." Fai said, straightening in his seat. "That's what _I_ want."

"You want a lot of things." Kurogane muttered, finishing off his meal with the final gulp of his wine.

Fai inhaled a deep breath and stood, rounding the table and grabbed Kurogane by the arm, pulling him to his feet. "Then we'd better get started!" he exclaimed, smiling. He let Kurogane go and ran to the bed, dropping to his hands and knees to pull his suitcase out.

Clothes in hand, Fai quickly disappeared into the bathroom. Kurogane decided to change into fresh clothes there in the main room and chose a nice pair of black jeans and a dark crimson shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times and waited for Fai to emerge.

A minute later, the blonde swung open the bathroom door and spread his arms wide. "Well? What do you think?" Fai twirled once while Kurogane stared.

He was dressed in black leather pants that caught the light in all the right places and a white dress shirt with cuffs that flayed out above his wrists and a v neck with a frill collar. He had seen a shirt like it once on a magazine cover that was reviewing past Japanese rock artists.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Fai declared, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him to the door.

"Let Kuro-chii and Fai's Amazing Gambling Adventure begin!"

-

The casino was a bustling, adrenaline induced miniature of the vision they had seen when first driving into the city. The sounds of machines whirling and dinging and the flying of dice on hard, cloth-covered tables mixed with laughter and the rising voices of the dealers to create a chaotic harmony of noise that filled their ears and pressed in on other senses as well.

Fai caught Kurogane's shirt sleeve and pointed to a dice table in lieu of pleading and begging and Kurogane nodded, feeling the same desire to keep shouting to a minimum.

He let Fai lead him there, glad for the other's desire to stay near to him. If he lost Fai, who held their room card, it might be hours before he saw him again and he wouldn't be able to get back into their room.

Kurogane wasn't very interested in dice, which he viewed as more a game of chance than skill, so he refused when Fai urged him to join, but he stayed to watch Fai play.

Fai was in his element, laughing and putting on a show with every roll of the dice. People gathered just to watch him play, just to stand next to him, to crowd around him and flirt with him and cheer him on. It seemed that for every dice roll he won, Fai would lose the next three but that didn't seem to matter to him. For Fai, it wasn't for winning that he was playing, but for the experience of playing there, surrounded by people, in a miniature game of pretend.

A person who's business was "pretend", who's job was to grant the selfish wishes of strangers and to make others happy but never himself. Kurogane could not understand what could drive such a person to live, with no desire of their own but it caused him to think. For what reason did _he_ live, and what was his desire? His mother's death had led into her final wish, but, once he had done what she had asked of him, for what reason would he live, then? Kurogane had not had time to think about such things, to think about his future. He had always just supposed he would live it, come whatever may.

The thing that separated him from Fai, and the most important thing, was that Kurogane was living for the sake of moving forward, while Fai's lies were keeping him from moving at all. Kurogane was changing. It was a startling realization. He watched Fai throw the dice again and make a face when he rolled a three and one and realized that, somehow, Fai had come to life in his small and self-centered world. He couldn't say yet, what exactly that _meant_, but Fai's existence _mattered_, somehow. And as long as it mattered, Kurogane would forever be angered by his lies and his "pretend" and his false smiles.

"Kuro-sama! I looost!"

Fai _mattered_.

-

Kurogane took Fai across the room to the card tables. If they didn't win _something_, Fai might end up without any money at all, at the rate he was spending it. He picked a table and sat down, but he made Fai join in too. The longer they played, the more he realized why Fai had been the one kissing the dice instead of throwing them, or the one standing behind the player looking pretty. His hands should never touch a playing card. The first table they sat at actually asked them to leave. But they were only games and the fun was in playing them, not winning, so Kurogane yanked Fai down into the next seat at the next table and the seat at the table after that.

They played for quite a while before Kurogane decided that, if one were going to lose as much as Fai lost, one should at least put a ceiling over it.

They found the bar, set in another area of the casino where the music from a stage where pole dancers entertained a cluster of tables could be heard above the roar of the gambling crowd and took up two unoccupied barstools to order a few drinks for the evening.

Kurogane wasn't much of a seasoned drinker. He drank sake and he'd had a beer or two; that was about it, but it didn't surprise him in the slightest that Fai was a bit more educated.

Fai waited for the bartender to finish mixing his current drink and drift over before he leaned across the bar with an easy smile.

"Can you make me a _Barbara?_"

Kurogane waited for the bartender's response, a non-verbal nod, before placing his own order. "And I'll have…"

"He'll have vodka, black cherry, with ice." Fai cut in and the bartender nodded again, turning to mix the drinks.

Kurogane shot Fai a frown, but Fai just waved him off. "You have to try new things tonight, Kuro-pu."

"How the hell do you know I wasn't?"

"I _know_ you too well. Kuro-wanwan was going to order something plain. But since I'm paying, you get to try all sorts of new things. Isn't that wonderful!"

"No." Kurogane answered, firmly. "Alcohol isn't something that needs to be flavored and screwed with. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a good bottle of sake."

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it." Fai countered. "But tonight is special."

When the bartender sat their drinks in front of them, Kurogane eyed them warily. His own drink looked like it might possibly be, once he drank it, enough to make Fai, and the concoction that he had ordered, marginally less embarrassing to sit next to.

Fai was currently meowing to his drink, twisting happily on his barstool.

"What the hell's in that thing?" Fai's drink was white. It looked like cream with chocolate sprinkled on top in a cocktail glass.

"Vodka, crème de cacao, and cream." Fai answered, taking in the scent with anticipation. "It tastes like chocolate. Do you want to try it?"

"No." Kurogane was reminded of dinner and turned back to his own drink, silently praying for it to make that upsetting feeling go away, before he took a quick gulp.

Three drinks later, Kurogane was pleased to note that the feeling was gone. Fai was currently marveling at the swirling dark liquid in his glass of blackberry sweet rum, babbling on to him about how it looked and smelled and reminded him of a movie he once saw. Kurogane couldn't have repeated a single word he said, but he was listening.

Just as Fai gulped down the last of that drink, a voice rose up from a microphone above the crowd.

"Alright, folks. It's that time of night again so take your winnings, take your drinks and run! For the next hour we're opening the stage to the armatures!"

The roar of the crowd drowned him out as the music began playing again and someone from the audience climbed on stage. Kurogane turned back to his drink. If they thought ignoring armatures was going to be any more difficult than ignoring professionals, they didn't know him very well. But Fai grabbed onto his arm insistently.

"Ooh, I can dance, Kuro-rin!" he said, raising the arm that wasn't clinging to him into the air and waving it as if he were suddenly in a classroom, impatient to answer one of the teacher's questions.

"Good for you." Kurogane grunted disinterestedly, taking another drink of his current glass of…whatever it was Fai had ordered for him.

"Stop ignoring me!" Fai whined, tugging on his arm.

Behind them, the crowd booed and shouted at the person on stage and Kurogane wrenched his arm free.

"You're getting drunk. If you go up there they'll just yell at you. We should go get some sleep before it becomes too much."

Fai shoved his arm away with a scowl; something like the scowl one might see on a disgruntled kitten, and marched away from him in the direction of the stage.

Kurogane sighed deeply, not wishing to end his night with a headache, but seeing it as enviable anyway. He turned around to watch Fai as he spoke to the DJ for a moment and then climbed up on stage in one swift and graceful movement. He supposed he should be watching when the blonde tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face so he could scrape him off the floor and haul him up to bed.

Fai waited for the music to start, a building tempo before the lyrics kicked in. He reached out for one of the poles, letting it support his weight as he swung out from it slowly.

_I love myself, I want you to love me_

Fai moved in front of the pole, holding it with both hands behind his back as he slid down and back up, his spine arching forward.

_When I feel down, I want you above me_

Letting the pole go with one hand, Fai continued on his circular path clockwise.

_I search myself I want you to find me_

And behind the pole, Fai reached above his head, gripping the pole with both hands, rolling his shoulders, a serpentine motion that his entire spine followed, ending when his pelvis came in contact with the pole.

_I forget myself I want you to remind me_

Fai fell outward to the tune of a gasping crowd, catching himself at the last minute and used that momentum to twirl around the pole, hooking one leg around it and jumped, leaving the ground and making a full turn before sliding to the floor and stretching back until his hair pooled on the floor, never letting go of the pole in the process. The crowd went wild.

_I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself_

_Oh, I don't want anybody else, oh no, oh no, oh no…_

And just as easily, he slid up until he stood on his feet again. And looked straight at Kurogane over the heads of his audience.

Kurogane could not look away, whatever he thought about it, whatever he could claim he thought of it, his throat went dry and his eyes were locked to Fai's.

_You're the one, who makes me come runnin'_

_You're the sun, who makes me shine_

Fai smirked and began to dance, waving his body back and forth behind the pole, then suddenly he gripped the pole with both hands and hoisted himself up and around it, his legs stretched out until he'd gone around the pole once and brought a knee up to wrap his right leg around the pole, hooking it behind his left and held the pose, taking the time to wink at his audience. Several women wolf-whistled and shouted.

_When you're around I'm always laughing_

_I want to make you mine_

Fai jumped down and danced in front of the pole this time, gripping it behind him, sliding down until he knelt on the floor, sliding one hand as far as he could reach up the pole and throwing his head back, revealing the long, pale expanse of his neck to the crowd who appreciated it far too much, in Kurogane's opinion, and then righted himself and eased forward, crawling across the floor until his chest lay flat on the wooden surface.

_I close my eyes and see you before me_

_Think I would die if you were to ignore me_

_A fool could see just how much I adore you_

_I get down on my knees, I'll do anything for you_

Fai got to his feet again and retuned to the pole, following it until he faced his audience from behind it and slid his hand down it slowly, the tip of his pink tongue slipping out to slide across his top lip. The hand slid from the pole to his body when it reached his abdomen and continued its southern decent, coming to rest just to the right of his crotch, splaying in stark contrast to the dark leather beneath it.

_I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself_

_Oh, I don't want anybody else, oh no, oh no, oh no…_

Fai continued his dance for his captivated audience and Kurogane knew he had never seen anything so lewd, so sinful, so _beautiful_ before in his entire life. For just a moment, he could understand how "pretend" could have its appeal to some people. He wondered if the point of this was to make him forget…that Fai could be beautiful any other way.

-

When Fai climbed down from the stage he had at least fifty hands to help him and at least a dozen offers thrown at him for something a little more _private_. But Fai seemed to have heard none of them as he made a bee line for Kurogane while another song began in the background.

"Is Kuro-tan impressed with me now?" he gloated. Not waiting for Kurogane's answer, Fai caught the bartender's attention and ordered a bottle of sake and a bottle of peach brandy to go. As soon as they were placed on the bar, he grabbed them up in one arm, linked his other with Kurogane's and pulled him away. "Let's go up to our room and finish there."

Kurogane's gaze lingered on the delicate skin of Fai's neck for just a moment before he was able to raise his eyes to the space ahead of them, but he allowed Fai to keep his arm, locked securely in the crook of his elbow.

-

The bottles in Fai's arms clinked together warningly as he slid his cash card into the key slot but he held them tight and pushed the door open.

Fai hit the floor with a muted thud as soon as they were inside, enjoying the feeling of the carpet beneath him as he opened the bottle of brandy and sat up to take a drink.

"Kuro-ru!" he shouted, eagerly. "Come sit with me."

Kurogane hesitated, closing the door behind him, but decided to join the blonde, taking the sake from him and opening it for a drink.

"Kuro-ta _liked _my dance!" Fai said, grinning slyly at the dark-haired man.

"You're very good." Kurogane made sure there was absolutely no emotion in it before he would allow the compliment to leave his mouth. Satisfied, he replaced it with sake.

Fai swallowed a gulp of his brandy before he responded. "I danced just for Kuro-sama." Fai crawled across the floor on his hands and knees until his hands rested on either side of Kurogane's legs and he was nose to nose with the other. Reaching out, Fai pulled the sake bottle from Kurogane's fingers and tipped it up, swallowing before he fixed his mouth to Kurogane's, head tilted just so, and this time, Kurogane let him. This time he had enough alcohol in his system to return the kiss, allowing Fai's tongue to explore his mouth leisurely. His hand found Fai's hair and held him in place with a firm, open hand.

Fai pushed him back onto the carpet and continued to kiss him, reaching a hand underneath his shirt, but Kurogane grabbed the wrist before Fai could take him too far.

"No."

Fai continued to kiss him, following his jaw line and, between kisses, asked "Why?"

When he didn't receive a response, but neither did Kurogane let his wrist go, Fai paused. "I want to make Kuro-min happy tonight." he explained and kissed the corner of Kurogane's mouth. "We'll part ways soon. You've given me everything I asked of you. Let me give you something."

"I don't want this." and to Fai, those words must have sounded cold.

"I won't…offer you again."

Kurogane hesitated but then nodded and Fai sighed, backing himself off of him and reaching for his bottle.

Fai grinned that fake but determined, plastic grin of his. "We had fun." he said, raising his bottle in a self-toast before downing another gulp of the amber liquid. "Thank you."

Kurogane made a noise of agreement and took another drink of his sake, remembering in contrast, the way it had tasted on Fai's lips, mixed with peach brandy and _Fai_ and wondered if Fai could ever understand why he couldn't bear to be so easily dismissed, or why he couldn't so easily dismiss Fai.

-

Fai fell asleep on the floor, next to Kurogane, curling around him slightly, his empty peach brandy bottle tipped on its side nearby. Once the sake was gone, Kurogane got to his feet. He had to wait a minute to steady himself before he reached down and scooped Fai into his arms walking with him slowly toward the bed where the sheets were pulled back and lowering him carefully onto the mattress. Fai was definitely out, so he took a moment to move some of the hair from his face before he went to shut off the VR screen and the lights and climb into the bed from the opposite side, finally letting the alcohol take its toll.

-

When Kurogane awoke, he had no idea how long he'd slept, because their room didn't have windows and he hadn't bothered to activate the clock. Fai had been up at some point, because the VR screen was on, showing a dark sky full of night stars but looking around, Kurogane found the blonde asleep next to him.

Kurogane got out of bed and accessed the computer to see what time it was.

12:17. It was after noon. Kurogane turned the lights on dim so as not to shock Fai's eyes in case he had a hangover, and shut down the VR screen. Deciding that disturbing Fai could wait, Kurogane took a quick shower.

Their clothes had been laid out on the coffee table, probably before they'd even gotten back to the room the previous night and Kurogane had to separate his own clothes from Fai's. He repacked his duffle bag and finally decided that he'd put off waking Fai long enough.

Fai made a gurgling noise when Kurogane shook his shoulder and told him to get up. When he mentioned that it was afternoon, Fai rolled onto his stomach and covered his head with the pillow so Kurogane turned the lights on full and took the pillow away.

"Get up. If you've got a hangover, then don't drink so much!"

"Kuro-meanie!" For a minute it seemed as if his statement was complete, then he added "Go buy me a cappuccino."

Kurogane frowned. "_You_ have the cash card!"

"It's in my pants!" Fai muttered, reaching out to point toward the bathroom.

It wasn't until he looked down that Kurogane noticed a pant leg sticking out from under the desk. He'd been wearing those when he'd put the idiot to bed.

"Get up!"

-

Twenty minutes later they took their luggage and went down to the hotel restaurant to get breakfast and hangover killers before checking out.

"Kuro-pii promised to let me drive again." Fai declared as they threw their things in the backseat. He held his hand out and wiggled his upturned fingers and Kurogane looked from them to Fai with a deep scowl.

"I _promised _no such thing."

"Yes you did!" Fai whined, throwing himself at Kurogane. "I said, Kuro-ku, I want to drive again! And Kuro-wan said" and here he produced a terrible rendition of Kurogane's deep voice "Fai, you did such a good job driving the last time, of course you can drive the car again. Then you promised to buy me chocolate ice cream but I'll let you off the hook on that one if you absolutely insist."

Kurogane blinked back for a moment, before he slammed the back door and shouted "I did not! Don't make up lies! If you want to drive the damn car just ask!"

"Can I?"

"NO!"

"But Kuro-pu _promised_!!!"

-

By the time they got back on the road, Kurogane had a pounding headache (because Kurogane, being the great man that he was, had refused the hangover killers when they'd been offered) and his blood pressure was likely through the roof. But at least he could rest his eyes in the passenger seat while Fai drove.

* * *

Post whatevers: This chapter's songs are: "Fill My Little World" by The Feeling and "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls

A note on Pole Dancing - Along with all of the milage-time spent traveling research I had to do I also had to research pole dancing, a thing I had never written in a fic before. Pole dancing, I discovered, can be a truely sensual art form - it isn't entirely a strip club show - and Fai is built perfectly for it.

One Moooore Thing! - Please be sure to read the author's note for the next chapter before reading it.

As always, if you liked, please review. Ja!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP.

Author's Note: Please remember and consider before reading this further, **this is rated M**.

_In the United States, 800,000 children go missing every year. Half of these are 4 to 11 years old and strangers commit 53 percent of child abductions that end tragically. Children of the Night, an organization that helps sexually abused children, lists the adverage number of child prostitutes in the United States at 300,000. In New York City, 51 percent of the prostituted children are estimated to be males and prostituted boys are also found in large numbers in San Francisco and New Orleans. ((information found on the amber alert official website and the children of the night official website))_

_Many, if not most, of these children will never be anything more than statistics to the average person, without justice of any kind._

* * *

**~ All That I Am ~**

_**Part 1, Chapter 5**_

Kurogane was beginning to wonder if he would _ever_ make it to the Green Drugstore and _again_ he had no one to blame but himself when he found out that Fai had taken them off course, continuing on westward instead of southwest when he wasn't paying attention, because he hadn't told Fai that the drugstore was in Survivor's City.

It was getting late in the evening and he was having fantasies of strangling whoever it was running that store when he finally got there so he decided to just call it a day.

"Just find someplace to pull off. We'll get a motel for the night."

Fai glanced in his direction briefly with a worried expression. "Hasn't Kuro-rin's headache gone away yet?"

"I'm fine."

They pulled off at the very next exit and picked up a pizza at an instant place on the way to the motel.

"I'll get us a room." Kurogane said, shutting the car door before Fai could protest. Kurogane figured he'd spent enough in Reno to cover his share on the next ten motels…if there were going to _be_ a next ten motels. Kurogane figured there would only be one, maybe two, more.

Pushing open the door of the motel lobby, Kurogane found a single, middle aged man behind the counter. He lay down the newspaper he was reading to smile at Kurogane.

"One beds are fifty, two are seventy-five, cheapest rates in the area."

_Two beds?_ **Two** beds. They had never been offered a two bed room since starting this road trip. But if he took one now, Fai would only say it was because they had given up the _box-of-luck _and he would _never_ hear the end of it.

"Sir?" the man asked, becoming concerned with the amount of concentration his customer seemed to be showing.

"Give me a minute!" Kurogane snapped.

Sleeping in his _own _bed, with his _own _space, and no Fai clinging to him or invading his space…or constant gloating… Which one?

"One bed."

Kurogane pushed the door of their room open and Fai followed him inside with the pizza and drinks they'd bought. He said nothing of the room or its single bed.

"So where is it you're going?" Kurogane asked. They were sitting on the bed, the pizza box between them, pizza in hand. It was something that had needed to be said. Something he had put off because he knew that it was forbidden, but now that they had crossed into California, it was almost moot anyway.

Fai took a drink of his Pepsi and another bite of his pizza before answering.

"We're already there." he said simply. "Kuro-sama, we've crossed most of the country, you know."

"So…tomorrow?"

"Maybe."

Kurogane watched Fai sleep that night, curled slightly on his side. He'd begun the night facing away from Kurogane, but had rolled over later, a troubled look on his face. Kurogane had reached out, barely touching the bed-tousled blonde hair and Fai seemed to settle, losing the dream.

Kurogane could not sleep.

* * *

"Kuro-bu…" Fai was hovering, as they checked out of the hotel and took their things to the car, flitting around Kurogane back and forth.

Kurogane sighed. Having gotten no sleep had only given him a different headache and he had a good feeling he knew what Fai wanted anyway so instead of going through the preliminary begging he just dropped the keys in Fai's hand.

Fai didn't appear to understand. "But I didn't…"

"You were going to." Kurogane cut him off closing the passenger's door behind him, ending the discussion.

"I was just going to ask if we could go shopping before we leave." Fai said, closing the driver's side door as he spoke, his voice lacking something, as if by agreeing, Kurogane had taken something from him.

"As long as I don't have to participate." Kurogane answered. He felt as if a great weight was settling on him, weighing him down, but he tried to sound annoyed. Whatever it was he was feeling, it was none of Fai's business. Not now at the last moment it wasn't.

Fai stopped at a little clothing boutique with mannequins in the storefront window. They were wearing beach clothes and Kurogane had to stare at them while Fai was inside. Everyone who passed by pointed and stared and Kurogane scowled at the paint on the hood of his car, remembering that it was offending and realizing that he had completely forgotten it was there. It wasn't that he was _blind_. He saw those two dragons, flying in front of the full silver moon every time he drove or walked toward his car or around it. He'd just…gotten used to the colors being there.

Fai came out of the boutique wearing a long pale yellow sundress with a few white flowers decorating it and a large straw sun hat.

"What does Kuro-ri think?" he asked, dancing in a circle outside of Kurogane's window.

"I think I'm glad we're leaving town." Kurogane groused, looking away.

Fai threw his arms out happily and ran around the car to the driver's seat, handing Kurogane his hat before he got in.

Kurogane threw the thing in the back seat with a growl.

"Is it absolutely necessary that you embarrass me _every damn place we go_?" Kurogane ground out and Fai grinned, checking the rearview mirror as he backed up.

"Why yes, yes it is."

It was obviously going to be one of those days. How Kurogane wished he had fallen asleep at five o'clock in the morning and slept through all this.

* * *

"Do you have _**any**_ idea where you're going?!" Kurogane yelled. They were in the middle of nowhere on an old country road, it was past noon, he was tired, hungry, and they had passed that forked tree _**three times now**_!

Fai bit his lip. "GPS-san doesn't know." he muttered, looking worriedly at the GPS screen instead of the road.

"I'm asking _you_ not the goddamn GPS!" Kurogane yelled, slamming a hand over the device's off switch.

"I'm sorry, Kuro-ta, I thought we could find a southbound highway this way. …Maybe…we're lost…"

Kurogane took a deep breath, trying desperately not to explode. "_**NO SHIT!**_"

Fai winced and pulled off the road, parking the car in front of a tall wooden fence surrounding the yard of a modest white house with a small silver car parked in the drive near the front door.

"Go and ask whoever lives here how we can find the highway." he said, watching out the window as the wind rustled the trees in the distance. A storm was coming, looming on the horizon.

"You go and ask!" Kurogane argued. "You're the one who got us lost in the first place! If you think I'm just going to march up to some strange house and ask for directions, you're even crazier than you look." he said, punctuating each word and driving it home with narrowed eyes indicating Fai's _pretty dress_.

"You think _I_ should ask them?" Fai returned, grinning back at Kurogane, indicating the _pretty dress_ himself. "What if we stay lost? This seems to be a pretty big rural area, Kuro-tan, we could…" Fai's ramble was cut off by the slam of Kurogane's door as he marched down the street behind the car and up to the strange house to ask for directions.

Once he cleared the fence, Kurogane could see the large yard. There was a child sitting on the lawn, picking flowers. Her hair was long, platinum blonde and lay on the green grass around her and her dress was pale pink, creating an almost storybook scene. The house was in good condition, the paint fresh and flowers blooming in window boxes. The car was clean, parked on a gravel drive that led right to the door. It was really a picture-perfect home but for two things. The fence was tall and tan; it really took away from the image, a small white picket fence would have fit much better. And the mailbox looked as though it had seen at least a lifetime, even though the letters on it were fresh. They read Valeria in slanted, elegant font, gold on black.

Kurogane knocked on the door and it instantly flew open, revealing a much older version of the little girl on the lawn. The woman looked as though she would have liked to be warm and welcoming, but had used up her quota of those things long ago. She looked to Kurogane with a look of slight apprehension and curiosity.

"Yes? May I help you?"

And Kurogane trussed his pride up like a Christmas turkey and threw it in the trunk. "I'm trying to find the highway that leads south from here, but…the idiot…" Kurogane looked back and saw that the little girl had drifted toward the fence. Fai was probably trading fashion tips with her from the other side. "I'm driving with got us lost."

"Ah…I'm sure I have a map in the car." the woman said, a keen eye trained on her daughter as she reached inside for a set of keys, hanging on a hook near the door. "Hold on."

The woman got into her car and produced a map from the glove box, laying it out on the hood for Kurogane. She pointed to where they were and showed him how to get to the highway and he thanked her, rescued his pride, and made his way back to the aforementioned idiot.

Fai was waiting by the fence for him. He was wearing his sun hat and holding one of the yellow flowers the little girl had been playing with and when he saw Kurogane he waved back at her and rushed to beat Kurogane to the driver's seat, throwing his hat in the backseat as he slammed the door.

"So!" Fai chirped. "Where are we going?"

"Back the way we came." Kurogane growled.

Kurogane was able to direct Fai to the highway that followed the new coastline south and it wasn't until they were safely on it, driving south, that he could close his eyes, blocking out Fai and his ridiculous yellow dress and his ridiculous idiocy, if only for a moment.

The time passed quietly with only the radio droning on softly in the background and Kurogane was finally beginning to settle down, watching the scenery fly by outside the window, the occasional raindrop sliding down to obstruct his vision, when suddenly, Fai slowed the car and turned right, onto a side road.

Kurogane turned and glared at him. "Where the hell do you think you're going?! Haven't you gotten us lost enough for one day?"

"But Kuro-pyon, I saw a sign that said there's an overlook this way. And we haven't seen the ocean since we got to California!"

"It's going to rain."

"It'll only take a minute."

Fai found the overlook - surprisingly. There was a small parking lot and they had to walk to it on foot for a few yards. Raindrops kept falling down and splattering on Kurogane's face, promising a storm, and making him irritable. When they reached the overlook it was a disappointment to say the least. It had obviously been abandoned by the county; a small clearing, cracked cement covered in leaves from several years, and a rickety wooden fence overlooked a view of the pacific ocean, grayed and choppy with the coming storm.

"We can find a better overlook." Kurogane offered. "I'm not going to drive all night in the rain so we can get a motel to wait it out."

Fai nodded absently and turned back to Kurogane, smiling hollowly. "We wouldn't want Kuro-woof to melt." he teased. A boom of thunder sounded and Fai squealed with delight. "It's going to rain, Kuro-chan! Hurry!"

Kurogane ran after him back to the car and as soon as they got inside the sky opened up and it started to pour.

* * *

Kurogane watched the rain coat the glass from the window of their motel room. It was a dump this time; run by a skinny, tattooed man in a bad neighborhood. Kurogane wouldn't have been surprised to see cockroaches but he hadn't spotted any yet.

"Staring at it won't make it stop." Fai commented from the bed where he was flipping channels on an old flat screen bolted to the wall. "Might as well relax."

Kurogane turned back to look at the blonde. Fai had changed into his "special" butterfly pants and a simple blue shirt and had fluffed his pillow behind his back to lay against.

"If I don't go out and find something to eat, are you going to be bitching about it later?" Kurogane was hungry. All they'd had to eat that day was breakfast and a few snacks but he didn't really want to go out in that weather when he didn't even know where to look for food.

Fai smiled a small, private smile. "I'm not hungry."

Maybe he was thinking of the rain too, Kurogane thought.

Fai didn't seem to be in a very talkative mood, so Kurogane sat with him and watched tv. It was about all they _could_ do. They let an action movie with a good share of explosions play on in the background while the storm howled outside, neither one fully paying attention.

Kurogane could feel himself drifting off as he lay back with one arm behind his head and the other folded over his stomach when Fai shifted over, snuggling into his arm and laying against his side, head resting on his chest. Kurogane was too tired to push the blonde away, so he let his arm curl around Fai's shoulders.

"I'm so sorry." Fai whispered, his cheek pressed against Kurogane's shirt, barely audible.

Kurogane waited, but Fai abandoned the words there to dissipate in the air and he couldn't stay awake with the blonde's comfortable warmth lulling him to sleep. He would ask Fai tomorrow what he had meant.

* * *

At some point in the night, Kurogane awoke. The warmth was gone from his side and he reached out, disoriented, but Fai wasn't in the bed. Kurogane sat up, looking toward the bathroom but the room was still and dark. A bolt of panic raced through him. Outside, the rain still beat against the glass of the window and thunder roared overhead. Whirling around, Kurogane fumbled for the lamp on the bedside table but in a flash of lightening, he saw a thin notepad sitting underneath the lamp and in thin, elegant scrawl, the words that Fai had apologized for in advance.

_Goodbye Kurogane_

For a moment, just a moment, Kurogane froze. There was a terrible storm outside. Where the hell would he go in weather like this? Why _now_?

"_Why are you going to California?" _

"_I wanted to see the ocean of course!"_

Kurogane frowned. The entire time he'd known Fai, his moods had gone up and down like a damn rollercoaster. But he was never happy. Not truly, honestly happy. Fai had wanted to go to Reno. Kurogane had met Fai on a street in New Chicago. People didn't do that sort of thing for _fun_. And even though Fai's clothes were always extravagant, he had spent hundreds of dollars in Reno. More than a thousand easily; maybe two.

"_We'll part ways soon."_

Fai had gotten close to him but he had always tried - so hard - not to get _too_ close.

"_It always looks so perfect and blue on tv and I thought I'd like to jump in it."_

There had always been _something_ off about Fai. Something Kurogane just couldn't pin down. The thing Fai had hidden from him. The thing he was forbidden from knowing.

"_Splash!"_

A loud boom of thunder signaled the lightening that split the sky not a second later and Kurogane threw open the door, making a break for his car.

It was there, right where he'd left it, black as the day he had first painted it. His heart twisted in his chest but he ripped the door open, jumping inside, already soaked through and turned the key in the ignition, slamming the door with one hand and throwing it in reverse with the other.

Fai _mattered_.

Kurogane stomped the gas petal to the floor and prayed he would make it in time.

"_Splash!"_

"Idiot! Stupid!"

Kurogane swerved around another vehicle ahead of him, his backend fishtailing on the pavement but he didn't slow down.

Fai couldn't have been gone long. Kurogane glanced to the clock on his radio. It was only one o'clock and he had done _this_ to his car before he left.

"_I just want to be …free…"_

"_I'm sorry."_

Kurogane gritted his teeth and concentrated on what little he could make out of the road ahead of him. But he felt sick.

"Damn you."

* * *

Kurogane found the overlook. He nearly missed the entrance and when he threw the car into park he didn't bother to turn it off or shut off the headlights. He slipped on the wet dead leaves and fell but it didn't slow him down. He had never ran so fast in his life and when he finally made it to the clearing, his heart leapt to his throat at the sight of a lone figure standing on the edge of the cliff, on the wrong side of the fence.

Fai swung his arm back and threw his open, empty suitcase over the edge, watching as it spun out of sight. Kurogane wasn't about to stand by and let Fai go next.

The rain was so heavy that Fai never heard him approach or saw him vault the fence behind him. He cried out in shock when Kurogane fisted a hand into the wet, heavy cloth of his shirt and whirled him around. Not even the rain could hide the tears spilling from Fai's eyes, red from crying and Kurogane didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do.

"You put that goddamn dragon back on my hood, damnit!" he yelled, shaking Fai erratically. His fist tightened in the material, as if Fai could turn to smoke and escape him. He was afraid to let go.

Fai stared back at him with wide eyes, shocked and confused. "Kuro-sama…"

"Is that what this whole trip was for you?" Kurogane asked. His voice sounded broken to his ears. "You were looking for a place to die?!"

Fai lay a hand over his, gently for a moment but then he tried to pry Kurogane's hand from his shirt and the effort increased the tighter Kurogane's grip became.

"I don't _want_ to live anymore!" Fai shouted above the rain, clawing at his hand hysterically.

"You haven't lived _yet_!" Kurogane yelled back, for once gaining the exact reaction he wanted from Fai. The blonde stilled, paralyzed in Kurogane's grip and he pulled Fai into his arms, wrapping them around the small frame tightly.

"You could have asked _anyone_, but you asked _me_! I'm not going to let you throw your life away now. Whatever you were running from is a thousand miles away. It can't hurt you anymore!"

"You don't understand." Fai's fists pushed at his chest feebly and in that moment, Kurogane understood just how broken Fai was.

"I'm not Fai."

* * *

Fai no longer seemed inclined to put forth any effort on his own behalf.

"You can't save me, Kurogane." he said, his tone defeated as he sat on the bed at their current motel dressed only in one of Kurogane's dry shirts. He had taken his own underwear off but Kurogane had had to get him started on the rest and his hair dripped water down onto the shoulders of the t-shirt, creating dark crimson stains as it spread.

"There's nothing left to save."

He didn't seem angry. If anything, he seemed to pity Kurogane's feelings and efforts and that just pissed Kurogane off even more.

"I wasn't running away." Fai said, in that same tone, as though every word he said from here to eternity would make him sound like the living dead. "I was never running _away_."

Had he given up so long ago? Kurogane had never seen this…desolation in Fai. Fai had been a very good actor…an expert at "pretend".

"A person can always find a reason to live." Kurogane said in return. "If you really want to die so bad, all you have to do is wait."

"I waited a long time." Fai answered. "I waited for someone who didn't come. Someone from a fairy tale."

"That isn't what I meant!" Kurogane yelled.

"I'm sorry."

He was apologizing for Kurogane's feelings and it only felt like a knife to Kurogane, twisting in his heart.

"Stop saying that!"

"I'm already dead…inside."

"Stop it!"

"Kuro-sama doesn't understand because he's never been broken."

"Broken things can be fixed."

"Not when the pieces are missing." Fai countered, evenly. "My pieces were cut up and burned away."

Kurogane fell silent. Fai's resolve lay in his past and Kurogane couldn't shoot it to hell until he heard the whole story.

"Who is Fai?"

Fai laughed, a hollow, humorless sound. "It's just like Kuro-tan not to ask '_Who are you?'_."

Fai looked down at the comforter beneath him, hiding his empty, dead eyes from Kurogane. "Fai is the one I was running to."

Kurogane could see how Fai wished this single statement could explain everything but he didn't wait for Kurogane's prompt to continue.

"There's only one person in the world who knows this." Fai began. "When I was very small, my name was Yuui Valeria and Fai…was my twin."

"Wait…" Kurogane interrupted. "Valeria?" Why did he know that name? Valeria…was the name on the mailbox… "The house we stopped at for directions."

Fai nodded. "That's why I had to come here. To make sure momma was ok. I had to know she'd moved on or I couldn't…"

"No one moves on from their kids!" Kurogane snapped.

"I have a sister now. She looks just like momma." Fai murmured. When Kurogane said nothing, Fai knew he had to continue. "But the story can't start at the end."

Kurogane pulled the desk chair closer to the bed and sat, waiting for Fai to continue.

"When Fai and I were little, momma took us with her to New Chicago. I…don't remember why we were there. We stopped at a city park and walked along the sidewalk. It was daytime. Fai and I wanted to run ahead. We were laughing and playing. I remember momma telling us not to go too far. It was the last time I ever saw her…until yesterday. A man in the bushes grabbed us. He put washcloths over our mouths and when we woke up, we were in a room…with cement bricks. I'm sure they could have heard us screaming though the door but it was a long time before anyone came.

Eventually, a man came. He told us that we wouldn't ever see momma again and that we belonged to a man named Fei Wong and we would have to do everything he said from now on. Looking back, I know now that we were lucky to have gotten that man in the beginning. He wasn't a bad man and as I grew up, I learned more and more to appreciate him.

He explained to us that Fei Wong was going to use us to make money, lots of money. Fei Wong owned lots of people like us. He generally didn't want anything to do with them. He just wanted to make money. I guess it was put best by Ashura. Ashura said that everyone has dreams and wishes. Fei Wong's dreams were just more expensive than most. But that happened later. The man who we first met became our handler and it was his job to teach us to do the things that would earn Fei Wong money.

He wasn't a lustful man. He explained exactly what he wanted us to do and he waited for us to do it on our own. We were…innocent, and scared so as long as he gave us a choice, we said no. Every time he came he brought cheeseburgers and ate them while he waited. We were just little kids. The hungrier we got, the faster our resolve crumbled. I don't think we lasted very long. We decided that it would be ok, as long as we did it together. He wasn't a scary man. He didn't yell or hurt us. So first it was a hand job and we got to eat. It wasn't bad at all because he was smart. Baby steps." A smile flitted across Fai's face, but it faded as quickly as it had come.

"We'd get good at one thing, then it was another step. We had to do it with no clothes on. And later after we got used to touching him, he could touch us. It was embarrassing but at the end of the day, we got to sleep together on the floor and we didn't know how bad it could get.

And then Kyle came. And Kyle was a bad man. He was sent by Fei Wong to see if we were ready for customers yet and our handler said no. They got into a fight. Our handler said we needed more time, that if we went too soon we wouldn't last as long, that he'd seen them waste people that way. Kyle didn't like to be talked to that way, so he shot him.

It was the first time I had ever seen anyone, any_thing_, die. And Kyle called for Ashura and then he locked us inside with the dead man. We were terrified. His eyes were still open and he was bleeding all over the floor. We cowered together in the corner and cried.

Ashura was what they called "The Cleaner" because he was the one who came and cleaned after people died or were killed. Ashura said that he was the one they called to clean up Kyle's messes. Kyle refused to move us. He told Ashura to do it in front of us. I don't…really know if Ashura is a _good_ man or not, but he was always a good man to us. He made us turn around and cover our ears. He wouldn't let us watch. He sat up this big…tent and took the dead man inside and then he called people in to carry the bags away."

Kurogane had never heard anything so disgusting and to imagine experiencing that as a child. It was no wonder Fai was so screwed up. That would have screwed him up too.

"I'm not really sure what happened after that." Fai continued. "I'm sure Kyle was going to do something but he must have gotten distracted because he put a guard outside our door and we just stayed there alone for a month. Ashura came to see us every day. He bribed the guard for time and brought us candy and chocolate.

Ashura had a habit of leaving the door unlocked when he left and sometimes the guard would get drunk and fall asleep outside the door so Fai and I started taking turns sneaking out. We were afraid to escape because our handler had said that if we ever did run away, then Kyle would come after us and then we actually met Kyle and…yea. But we figured if we only snuck out one at a time then, if the guard woke up and looked into the room and saw one of us, he would figure he could just go back to sleep.

Eventually, Kyle came back for us. He said it was about time we quit loafing around and did our job. That was the first time that I ever met Fei Wong. He was standing outside of a room. He told us that the man inside had paid a lot of money to be the first one with us and that we had better not disappoint him.

We were terrified. We had never met anyone like him; the way he looked at us…like he wanted to do terrible things to us." Fai was beginning to have difficulty, but he went on. "He said…terrible things, called us _such pretty little whores_. He wanted us to do things…that seemed dirty…he was so…lustful and…fast. We tried to keep up but then he…" Fai paused, covering his mouth as he tried to gather himself.

"You don't have to say it." Kurogane offered. He was sure by now he could get the picture.

"He picked Fai. There's a difference…between unwanted sex and rape. It's not the same thing." Tears began to flow down Fai's cheeks but he couldn't stop, not now. "Fai was bleeding…and screaming…that man held him down while he… So I hit him. I'm sure it didn't hurt very much. He laughed at first. But then, I guess I must have hurt him because he turned around and started hitting me and yelling. And Fai…Fai threw a chair at him. That probably didn't really hurt either. He couldn't have thrown it very hard. It didn't break but all the noise brought the guards in and they started hitting him and everyone was yelling and the man was arguing with Fei Wong and Kyle and Fei Wong told him everything would be taken care of. And Fai was on the ground but they wouldn't stop kicking him…even when he stopped moving. I heard Kyle call for Ashura. I tried to stop them. I tried to get to him. I was screaming. I guess somebody asked _Which one are you?_ "Fai" was all I could say.

They…killed him and…they wouldn't let me get near him. They took me away and I couldn't do anything at all. And it's in my head!" Fai cried, sobbing, clinging desperately to the bed's comforter. "How Ashura had to cut him up, in tiny pieces and carry it all away in a bag and burn it in the incinerator. I can't…"

Kurogane didn't wait for Fai to finish. He sat on the bed next to the blonde and pulled him into his arms and Fai, shaking and wet from the storm, inside and out, could only cling to him and cry.

"I tried later," Fai said when he could speak again, though he was muffled slightly against Kurogane's chest "to kill myself. But they wouldn't let me. Kyle told me that he knew where momma lived and if I ever ran away, in any way, he would find her and make her pay. That's why I couldn't leave. Ashura came after that. He said how sorry he was but I couldn't blame Ashura. He kept coming." Fai was beginning to settle as he spoke of Ashura. "Ashura taught me about pretend. He said that if I just smiled enough, someday, good things would happen.

I wished that Yuui had died on that day, so I let everyone call me Fai and after years and years had passed I decided that it would be ok to be with Fai again. I just had to make sure momma was ok, and not let Kyle catch me. If he can find me, he can take me back. And if he can take me back, he can punish me. But he wouldn't have any reason to hurt momma if I'm already gone.

I turned down a lot of people, people that said they wanted to save me, run away with me. They only said those things after sex. But When I met you, and you didn't want sex or company I thought you would be safe, because you wouldn't care. But I hurt everyone who knows me and you…got too close. It's all my fault. I'm sorry."

"I'm going to belt you the next time you apologize." Kurogane growled. "Whatever's done is done. … And can't be undone. The only thing left is the future."

Fai shoved him away. "Don't you get it?! I'm tired! I've spent my entire life giving everybody else what they want. You're too late to get in line!"

Kurogane fisted a hand and bopped him over the head with it.

Fai's hands flew to his head as he cried out. "OW!!"

"Then find something to live for!" Kurogane barked. "Your brother isn't waiting on some platform for you to kill yourself. If he loved you at all, he would want you to be happy, not dead!"

Fai glared at him from under his arms.

"You didn't look very happy standing on that cliff in the rain to me."

Fai's arms fell to his side and he bowed his head in defeat. He no longer had the strength to argue with Kurogane. He lay back, staring up at the ivory-white ceiling.

"I don't have anything." he muttered. "No money or clothes. I can't…go home. I can't tell momma that Fai is dead…"

"It doesn't matter." Kurogane said. "Because I'm not driving back there anyway. We're going south, to the Green Drugstore in Survivor's City."

Fai said nothing, just continued to stare at the ceiling as if that were the only direction in the world.

* * *

Fai said very little on their drive south to Survivor's city. He only spoke when Kurogane prompted him to do so: _"No, I'm not hungry." "No, I don't have to go to the bathroom." "No, I'm not tired."_ So Kurogane was left to drive in silence, any _life_ that his car had once had, sucked out the exhaust pipe and left far behind. And his view didn't make things any better. A sea of black accosted his field of vision. Kurogane had never thought he would miss all of the color on his hood, but the color had come to represent something else and now it was gone, and he mourned its loss.

No one else had ever made him feel the things that Fai made him feel; anger, rage, frustration, despair, helplessness and longing. He longed for Fai to smile, because he was happy; for Fai to laugh, and not because he had felt the need to cover something up. He remembered the taste of Fai's lips coated in sake and peach brandy and wished that Fai had never kissed him at all, feeling as if he were making a last offering.

By the time they reached Survivor's City, Kurogane was sure that he shared Fai's feeling of death. Every nerve he had was frayed, he thought that maybe the last time he had actually _slept_ had been Reno. His eyes had taken to darting back and forth between the blonde and whatever it was he was meant to be paying attention to, be it the road or the traffic on it… His stomach had given up on being filled, leaving him with a dull, sour ache in his gut and his mouth felt like paste.

He had put off sleep, trying to make it to Survivor's City in once piece, before hell crashed down on his head or some other such catastrophe, now he was afraid not to sleep. His vision was blurring. Three, or four, days ago, Fai would have been concerned, now he just sat there, ignoring him.

Fai's past had been a difficult pill to swallow and the idea that it wasn't just some unthinkable news program - that it had actually happened to him, was still trying to make connections in Kurogane's brain to the person sitting next to him. But he knew that dying was not really what Fai wanted. Nobody really wanted to die, they just, maybe, didn't want to live and there weren't a whole lot of other options out there.

He didn't have whatever it was that Fai needed, didn't know how to make Fai want to save himself, but he had to believe that, with enough time, one of them would figure it out. He just needed time; to think, to collect himself, to find new pieces that might fit into the holes that Fai seemed to be filled with. Because Fai _mattered_. And he wasn't going to give up on him.

They were somewhere on the outskirts of Survivor's City when Kurogane stopped at a moderately-priced hotel; nice, but not expensive, and paid for the cheapest room available. Fai followed him up to the room where Kurogane collapsed on the single bed, intent on finally finding some parody of rest for as many hours as he possibly could.

"Take a shower." he said, knowing Fai could hear but wouldn't respond. "Wear whatever you want. Get some sleep."

_Don't go_.

* * *

When Kurogane woke up, he found Fai at the foot of the bed, sitting cross-legged, eating a bagel. He pushed another toward Kurogane. It was wrapped in plastic and Fai sat a small carton of orange juice next to it.

"It was free." he said.

Kurogane nodded as he sat up to join the other in silence.

Fai was wearing his butterfly pants and one of Kurogane's black shirts that, even tucked in, looked ridiculously large on him. His blue shirt was gone. Kurogane said nothing of it. Good riddance to the damn thing, he thought bitterly and wondered just how well Fai had planned his suicide. A blue shirt would have made his body harder to spot to anyone looking over the cliff's edge.

Fai saw him watching, glanced to him briefly, but said nothing. He didn't care.

Kurogane finished his food quickly and took a five minute shower, throwing on a clean set of clothes. Fai was waiting for him by the door when he emerged from the bathroom and they left together, one solemn, the other determined.

Survivor's City was indeed the sprawling metropolis Kurogane had imagined. Everywhere he looked, people flooded the sidewalks and his GPS was useless in such a condensed area; by the time it told him to turn it was too late to switch lanes.

"Shit! How the hell are we supposed to find this place!"

Predictably, he was ignored and Kurogane turned to look at Fai. He was staring out the window with no discernable expression. He looked so much smaller in Kurogane's clothes.

"I noticed the money you put in my wallet." Kurogane said. He had noticed when he'd gone to pay for the hotel that he had extra money. Fai must have given him whatever he had left. He hadn't planned to say anything. It was an awkward subject to breech but now it served as an ice breaker. What a sad state they were in, he mused sardonically. "And we aren't finding the Green Drugstore like this. We'll go shopping. You need some clothes and maybe we can find somebody who knows where it is."

He waited for Fai to protest, wondering if he would keep silent or tell Kurogane he wasn't interested. Instead, Fai nodded silently, accepting it, and somehow, that was worse. Kurogane was getting tired of leading him on by the hand like some emotionless shell. He thought of screaming at Fai, throwing things at him, hitting him, wondering if any of it would pull some _reaction_ from the blonde but he lacked the energy to do those things, as if Fai's new attitude had somehow sucked it out of him. The last thing Kurogane needed was to start feeling sorry for _himself_. Fai could do enough of that for both of them.

Lips set in a firm frown, Kurogane began looking for a city parking garage.

Fai walked with him down the sidewalk, ignoring the people staring at them. God only knew what they must have thought of them but if one of them so much as said a word about it, Kurogane was all too eager to hand them their teeth.

"Pick a shop." he growled, not bothering to look at all the shops they were passing and heard Fai sigh in response.

Fai turned and walked into the very next shop without a glance as to what it sold, Kurogane following close behind.

It was a children's clothing store. Fai turned around and walked back out, his small rebellion squashed. Kurogane took hold of his arm and pointed to another shop with men's clothing displayed in the window. "Let's try that one."

For a moment, Fai seemed a little surprised that he hadn't commented on his failure, but he cast his eyes downward again and followed Kurogane into the store without a word.

The store Kurogane had picked was a little overpriced for his taste, but he wasn't going to waste his time looking for a decent place to shop for clothes in downtown Survivor's City. A sales girl came to ask if they needed any help. She was a short little thing, probably a teenager, with short black hair that curled in around her face. She started out with a welcoming smile but then got a better look at Fai and became somewhat less certain.

"We're fine." Kurogane said, trying to get rid of her without being overly rude about it. Who in the hell needed help finding a shirt to wear, anyway? Picking out clothing was a personal choice and anyone with two good eyes could find what they liked in such a small room by themselves.

The girl gave him a nervous smile and nodded at him as she slowly sidled over to Fai, pulling him aside as discretely as possible. "If you need anything, or you're having any problems, I can contact the authorities." she whispered secretively, laying a hand supportively on Fai's arm.

To Kurogane's surprise, Fai removed the hand and glared…Kurogane had to look again to be sure, but yes, it was a glare, a glare so ice cold that it sent chills down Kurogane's spine just to look at it…and replied in the same low tone "That won't be necessary."

The sales girl couldn't get away from them fast enough.

Fai proceeded to look through their clearance clothes and found a pair of bell-bottom pants and two shirts, one white and one black. Kurogane paid for them without complaint. Fai was obviously making a statement, one that Kurogane was not about to address.

When Fai took Kurogane's shirt off and replaced it with the white shirt while they walked down the sidewalk, surrounded by people, Kurogane said nothing. This was a test of his patience and endurance. He narrowed his eyes at Fai, but refused to shout. Two could play that game.

They walked for a while. Kurogane _hated_ asking for help, but eventually he singled someone out and asked if that person knew where to find the Green Drugstore. That person, an elderly man sitting on a bench waiting for a cab, didn't know.

And so it began.

Kurogane asked several people "_Do you know where I can find the Green Drugstore?"_ No one seemed to know. All the while Fai stood silently by, awaiting an answer he cared neither one way or the other for. Kurogane had decided to walk only in a straight line, otherwise he was afraid they'd get lost. Still, they had walked a long way. As they were passing by a café, Kurogane remembered the last café they had eaten at. They had met Yukito that day; Yukito who had commented on how "well-suited" they were. Kurogane turned to look at the person walking next to him.

"Let's get something to eat."

It had gone from something that wasn't worth thinking about, to something he couldn't bear to think about.

Fai sat with him but when the waiter came to take their orders he only asked for water. He didn't meet Kurogane's frown across the table.

"I'm not hungry right now. I'll eat at dinner, don't worry." Fai whispered the last part and Kurogane sighed.

"You never asked why I was looking for the Green Drugstore." he said, an attempt to hold some sort of conversation with the other, however futile. "My mother passed away recently." Kurogane went on, not bothering to wait for a cue that wouldn't come. "She left a letter there for me."

"… What's in the letter?"

Kurogane raised his gaze to Fai, pleased that he had found some curiosity in the matter, but not ready to let on that he had noticed. "I don't know. But it must be something she couldn't have said to my face. I can't think of anything she could have left me that she would have had to entrust to someone else."

"…Do you miss her?"

Kurogane stared at the blonde for a minute. He was looking away, down the sidewalk, with the look a person gets when what they're looking at isn't what they see.

"Yea."

"_**I don't have the face of a cat damnit!!!**_"

Raising an eyebrow, Kurogane turned to look across the street at the source of the outburst. There were two boys standing on the sidewalk. The shorter of the two was hunched over, growling comically at his taller companion who didn't seem at all intimidated by the display, in fact, the dark-haired boy looked highly amused.

Fai laughed. It was one of those under-your-breath kind of laughs that turned into a few chuckles and then died off but it was the first positive emotion he had shown since Kurogane had found him on that cliff in the rain. He was afraid Fai might never laugh again, so he was glad, and Kurogane smiled at the display himself. That boy with his uneven dark blonde hair really did look like a cat.

"I don't think I've ever seen Kuro-sama smile like that." Fai commented. "It must be rare, like seeing a comet or a double rainbow."

Kurogane turned to look at him but before he was forced to really find something to say, his order came and he was saved. Fai politely ignored him while he ate and they left soon after, heading back toward the car.

"There has to be an easier way to find this place." Kurogane muttered. It was already afternoon and they still had to find a place to spend the night. When he had looked the Green Drugstore up online there had been no actual address attached to it, just the city. He wondered, not for the first time, if this _Kakei_ person was actually _trying_ to hide.

"You could try calling the information hotline," Fai suggested "or maybe a local phonebook."

"Do they still make those?" Kurogane couldn't remember the last time he'd seen a phonebook. All that information was part of the telephone's software nowadays, even landlines.

Fai shrugged and Kurogane sighed. Having the address wouldn't help him if he didn't know how to get to it.

"Have you _ever_ lived in a big city?" Fai asked.

Kurogane shook his head. "My mother and I moved around a couple of times but we always lived in rural places."

Fai nodded but didn't seem inclined to continue the conversation.

"_**Don't make me do that again asshole! You're supposed to be doing this too! If I have to share my pay with the likes of you, you should at least do half the work!**_"

Kurogane and Fai both stopped to look across the street and found the same two teens from earlier. The shorter boy was shouting at the taller one again but this time the taller boy seemed less humorous about the situation.

"I'm doing my share just keeping you from getting picked up by guys _without_ black cars."

"_As if I would just walk off!_"

"That last guy said he was looking for it and you believed him. You're lucky I was just down the street."

"_**I don't need your help!**_"

"They certainly seem to be having problems." Fai said, continuing on ahead, hands stuffed deep in his pockets. Kurogane followed suit, averting his attention back to the problem at hand.

"We'll wait until late tonight and try the GPS again. It should be easier to find and get to with less traffic." he said.

Fai nodded in silent agreement.

Kurogane decided to drive in the direction they had been walking to look for a hotel. Taking a side-glance at Fai, looking out the passenger window, Kurogane decided that tonight, he would get a room with two beds. It wasn't right that they should sleep in the same bed, there was no excuse for it now. It was another one of those things like the paint on the hood of his car.

"_**Look out!**_"

Kurogane slammed on his breaks before his eyes had even gone back from his hood to the road and his heart plummeted to his stomach when he saw the blonde teenage boy frozen in his headlights, standing in the middle of the road. Other cars swerved around them, honking their horns. When it finally registered in Kurogane's brain that he hadn't, in fact, hit the boy, he threw open his car door angrily.

"_**WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!**_" he yelled, his pounding heart still calming as he drowned out the sound.

The boy, still in shock, didn't speak.

Fai opened his own door, standing behind it to watch.

Kurogane walked around his open door and took the boy by the arm, dragging him back to the sidewalk. "I've had enough of this shit to last an entire lifetime." Kurogane warned him, quiet enough so that only the boy could hear. "So if you want to die that bad, _just ask_."

The boy looked back with wide eyes, obviously believing him and still shaken up over the incident.

"Kurogane…" Fai came to join them on the sidewalk, standing next to the teen.

The boy looked from Fai to Kurogane and back. "I didn't…I _wasn't_…I tripped! I'm sorry! It's just, my boss sent me out here this morning and I've been out here all day with _that guy_. He thinks I can't do anything right but how many black haired guys _are_ there that drive…black cars…"

The boy was looking around Kurogane at his car and then he looked back at Kurogane who was giving him a strange look, and suddenly he grabbed Kurogane's shirt with both hands, his eyes as wide as saucers as he looked up at the dark-haired man.

"_Please_ tell me you're looking for the Green Drugstore!"

* * *

Post whatevers: As always, if you liked, please review. This was that dark place at the middle of the tunnel and as they keep moving forward, things can only get brighter, right?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Resrvoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP.

Author's Notes: And with this we have the end of part 1. Think of it as a season finale. It'll be a while before I start posting part 2. Sorry, but I want to get more of it done before I start posting it.

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

_**Part 1, Chapter 6**_

"My name is Kazahaya Kudo." the blonde teenager said from the backseat of Kurogane's car. They were looking for the co-worker he'd split up with, Rikuo Himura. "My boss at the Green Drugstore said somebody would be coming by today and he sent me out to find you. But all he told me was that it was a black-haired man driving a black car in this area and then he went and sent Rikuo along to rob half my pay!"

"Wait," Kurogane interrupted "so how did this guy…we're talking about Kakei, right? How did he know I was coming _today_?"

For once the kid, Kazahaya, seemed reluctant to talk. "Yeah. I think…he sees the future, or something like that…sometimes…"

Kurogane wanted to roll his eyes. _See the future_? _Really_? That was about as ridiculous as a box-of-luck. But then he remembered that the box-of-luck had supposedly _come_ from Kakei. Right.

"Did he say anything about why I was coming?"

Kazahaya shook his head and pointed out the window. "There's Rikuo."

* * *

The lights of the Green Drugstore were still on when they arrived but Kazahaya and Rikuo led them to a back entrance. The two boys and the two owners of the store lived in small apartments upstairs and at the back entrance downstairs was a communal living room.

Inside was a couch where a large man was sleeping, still wearing a pair of dark sunglasses.

"That's Saiga." Kazahaya explained while Rikuo went through to the shop to find Kakei. "All he ever does is sleep." the blonde said, wrinkling his nose disdainfully.

A moment later, Rikuo returned with a blonde man. He looked an awful lot like Kazahaya to Kurogane, except that his hair was longer on the opposite side. Maybe he was the kid's father or something.

"You've got a letter for me?" Kurogane prompted, shoving his hands in his pockets. On the couch, Saiga sat up, stretching with a yawn to watch them. Fai stood beside him, a few steps behind, at the corner of Kurogane's vision. He looked a little uncomfortable, as if he was thinking he didn't belong there. Kurogane tried to shove Fai to the back of his mind for the moment. This was the important letter his mother had left. That he retrieve it had been the last thing she had ever asked of him.

"Oh?" Kakei replied, with the smile of someone who knows exactly what you're talking about but was going to make you say it anyway. "And you are…?"

"I'm Youou Suwa."

Kurogane heard a sharp intake of breath behind him and turned to see that Fai's eyes had gone wide in a look of complete shock. For a minute it looked like he might say something but then his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. Kurogane dove to catch him as he fell and succeeded at the last second.

"_Fai?_ _**Fai!**_"

* * *

It was nearly an hour later that Fai started to show signs of waking. Kurogane heaved a sigh of relief. As soon as Fai opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling from the couch were he lay, Kurogane spoke.

"Next time eat when we stop for a meal."

But when Fai turned to look at him, his eyes were filled with tears and Kurogane began to think that it wasn't entirely exhaustion and hunger that had made him faint like that.

"Youou…" his voice broke painfully and Kurogane frowned.

"It's my given name. Kurogane is a middle name. I just like it better…"

The tears spilled over, running down Fai's face and his eyes narrowed just to focus. "The one just for us…"

"What?"

Fai sat up and covered his mouth and cried, wrapping one arm around himself.

"Hey, what's…"

Kurogane reached forward but the sobs had turned to laughter, a broken sound that came with the tears.

""_His name is Youou." _That's what Fai said. _"He's the one just for us, Yuui. I can tell."_ …It was you… It was you the whole time…" Fai looked back to the ceiling, trying to get control of the tears that would not stop.

"I don't understand what you're saying." Kurogane said, confused.

Fai stared into space, recalling the scene from his memory. "It was one of the times that Fai got out. When he came back he told me he had seen a boy through a store window. _"His name is Youou. He's the one just for us, Yuui. I can tell."_ He sounded so certain.

"The fairytale you were waiting for was…"

Fai didn't know how to reply.

Kurogane tried to think back to that day. He was only five, he hadn't thought of it in a long time. His mother had taken him to New Chicago…

"The kid in the window… I stuck my tongue out at him." He was surprised he had remembered that.

Fai laughed. "What did Fai do?"

"…He stuck his tongue back out at me."

Fai wiped the tears with the back of his hand as he laughed, a few, short, heartbroken sounds.

Kurogane joined Fai on the couch, facing him and Fai reached out, taking hold of his shirt tail. He seemed just to want something to hold and Kurogane reached out, wiping away some of the wetness that Fai had missed.

"Aww, isn't that _sweet_?" Kurogane turned to find Kakei, along with Saiga, in the doorway that led to the shop.

"Now that you know where to find us," Kakei said, "you two should find a place to stay for the night. I'll give you your mother's letter tomorrow. I have a feeling you'll need a fresh start anyway."

"We'd offer you the couch," Saiga said, "but then where would I take my after-breakfast nap?"

-

And so they left to find a hotel. Fai was silent for the entire drive, but he seemed to want to be in constant contact with Kurogane. He didn't let go of his coat once. Kurogane was still waiting for some sort of equalization on the blonde's emotions.

At the desk in the lobby of the hotel Kurogane had chosen, when the clerk asked them if they wanted one bed or two, Kurogane hesitated. This time he asked Fai.

"Do you want one bed or two?"

"One." Fai whispered, holding onto his coat sleeve and Kurogane nodded to the clerk to confirm.

-

It was another nice hotel; everything clean and fresh. Kurogane sat his duffle bag on the room's small table.

"Decide what you want and I'll order room service." he said, taking his coat off.

Fai let go of the material, letting his arm fall to his side uselessly.

Kurogane turned toward the bathroom, but decided to say the words he'd been contemplating since Fai had mentioned his brother.

"…Would you prefer if I didn't call you Fai?"

Fai shook his head. "Yuui died with Fai. I haven't felt like _anyone_ since that day. So "Fai" is fine, since it's familiar."

Kurogane let it settle, but he didn't like it.

Fai reached out to him, touching his chest with a delicate hand and drew near, laying his cheek against Kurogane's shoulder.

"I…would live for you. If you could teach me…I think I lo…"

"No." Kurogane took him by the wrist and took a step back. He couldn't let him say it. Not like that. "I'm not a fairy tale." He wouldn't be Fai's only source of strength. He couldn't allow him to stay crippled that way.

Fai looked up at him, confused, in pain.

"I'm done being used by you."

Fai seemed to accept it and Kurogane didn't know if it would have been a better, or a worse thing, for him to resist.

"I didn't enjoy being led by you and I won't be a lead for you now." Kurogane retraced his step, bringing him back to Fai and, though he kept one hand on Fai's wrist, he lay the other on the blonde's cheek. "I want you to come with me tomorrow, and finish what we started."

Curiosity seemed to flood Fai's blue eyes and Kurogane was glad but now was not the time to let it show.

"But I don't want you to do it because it's what I want, or because you're being clingy. If you can't find a reason, then don't." His words were harsh but Fai's wrist relaxed in his grip and Kurogane let it go.

Fai smiled, a small, genuine smile. "Kuro-min's morality, again?"

Kurogane humphed , removing his hand from Fai's cheek and Fai's smile grew wider.

"Then I'll go with you because I haven't lived yet, right? Living with Kuro-kun isn't easy, you know." Fai teased gently. "He doesn't give handouts and makes me work for everything. But I guess there are some things worth working for."

Kurogane grinned. "That's been my experience."

And this time, Kurogane kissed Fai. In the absence of alcohol, Kurogane could feel the subtle hint of newness in the gesture, the feeling that something was beginning for them both. Fai's body seemed to want to melt against his, his lips, so soft against Kurogane's own, moved with a welcoming apprehension, a testament to Fai's seriousness that had never been there before.

-

That night, Kurogane held Fai in his arms and the blonde slept with a soft smile on his face that Kurogane had never seen before, certainly not in sleep, and, as cliché as it might have been, all was right with the world.

* * *

The next morning, after a quick breakfast, Kurogane and Fai made their way back to the Green Drugstore.

"To be honest, I was expecting you a little earlier, Suwa-san." Kakei said. He was holding the letter out to Kurogane, an amicable smile in place that could give even Fai a run for his money.

"Don't be so hard on the boy." Saiga said, wrapping his arms around Kakei's shoulders. "You know how easily kids can exhaust themselves."

Kurogane snatched the letter with a scowl. "What I was doing is none of your business. Besides, this thing's been sitting around with you for seventeen years. Another seventeen minutes isn't gonna make any difference."

Kurogane tore the envelope open, noticing the small weight inside and tipped it up, watching as a small key fell into his open palm. Had his mother left him a house or something? Then he pulled the letter out and flipped it open. The length of it intrigued him more than anything. It was more of a note than a letter.

"Well?" Saiga prompted. "We're not the local postal service, you know. Let's hear it."

Kurogane frowned, but read the letter aloud anyway.

"_Youou,_

_The hand of destiny has led you to where you now stand. As the last heir of the Suwa family, you are now entrusted with the chair that your parents once filled in the house of the feather. You are not meant to understand this now. Take the key enclosed within to the First National Bank of Neo Tokyo and all will be explained._"

"Yes and you'd better hurry too, or you're likely to miss your flight." Kakei added, holding out a folder which Kurogane reached for much more slowly than he had reached for the letter.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, kid." Saiga said, indicating Fai. "I didn't catch your name last night so your passport reads Fai Suwa. I hope that's ok. Just make sure you memorize it before you get there and burn it in a few days."

Fai stared back open mouthed. "Wha…? But…"

Rikuo appeared in the door behind them. "The car's running." he said.

"Rikuo will take you both to the airport and see that you find your flight." Kakei explained. "Feel free to leave your vehicle here. We'll store it for you."

"Wait a minute!" Kurogane protested.

"The flight leaves in twenty-five minutes." Rikuo said from the door.

"Keys." Saiga prompted and, reluctantly, Kurogane dropped them in his open hand.

-

Fai spent the hurried drive to the airport memorizing his travel papers while Kurogane tried to get answers out of Rikuo. The only clear answer he got was that Rikuo was happy to get rid of them when they arrived. They had to run to their gate and, even then, only just made the final call.

"All I'm saying is…there's nothing wrong with taking a boat…" Kurogane complained. "I can make my own travel plans. I don't appreciate not having a choice in the matter."

Fai laughed nervously as they made their way to the airplane at the end of the line of passengers. "Is Kuro-chan afraid of heights?"

"I'm not **afraid**!" Kurogane yelled and Fai gave him a little push as they got to the plane itself. "I don't have any problem with _heights_." Kurogane hissed. "What I have a problem with is airplanes."

"Do you want the isle seat?" Fai asked. He was being considerate. Kurogane didn't like it.

"No." He took the window seat and closed the shade.

Fai took the seat beside him, far too close for comfort were a stranger sitting there. Kurogane lay his hand on the divider between them as the plane prepared for takeoff and looked around, watching people get themselves situated and attendants explain things to first time fliers and mothers with children.

"Have you ever been on an airplane?" Fai asked, trying to distract him. This time, Kurogane was grateful.

"When my mother and I went to New Chicago, we took a plane then. Going was fine but coming back, we went through a storm. The whole airplane shook and…You know, if a boat sinks, there's always time to evacuate but when a plane crashes you're dead. And I'm not afraid of dying!" Kurogane insisted, glaring Fai down for good measure. "I would just prefer not to do it by splatting against the ground from a thousand meters."

The engines were running and the airplane was coasting to its runway. Fai lay his hand over Kurogane's and gripped it gently. Kurogane had not realized how hard he had been holding onto the divider until Fai's hand had averted his attention.

"Are you boys doing alright?" a stewardess asked them, making her last pass down the isle before the plane took off. "Nervous?"

Fai smiled and shook his head. "That's what I have Kuro-rin for."

The stewardess returned his smile and continued on her way and Kurogane closed his fingers around Fai's hand.

_**- - 9 + hours later - -**_

"That stupid bastard did this on purpose!" Kurogane yelled. He hadn't realized when he'd boarded the plane in Survivor's City that it was going to be the middle of the night when they got to Neo Tokyo. Now he had to get a cab and find a hotel in one of the most expensive cities in the world!

Fai sighed as he looked up at the darkened sky overhead from the airport in Neo Tokyo. "Now I hate flying too." he said humorlessly.

"I'm beginning to feel like a ping-pong ball," Kurogane muttered. "chasing after this thing."

Fai didn't reply.

They walked together to the waiting taxis and Kurogane asked for a decent hotel, nothing too expensive. The cab driver made small talk and pointed out some bars and restaurants in walking distance from the hotel where he took them. Fai didn't appear to be paying attention and admitted, later, that he couldn't speak the language.

Getting settled in their hotel was relatively easy, seeing as they had been so rushed at the Green Drugstore that they had left their clothes behind in Kurogane's car.

Having nothing to do until the bank opened in the morning, Kurogane could have settled down for the night but, frustrated, he didn't feel like sitting still, so he decided to go out to eat instead.

"You like sushi?" Kurogane asked, as they stood in the chill night air outside their hotel.

Fai paused. "It…isn't my favorite food."

"It isn't your favorite food like it doesn't taste like chocolate cake or it isn't your favorite food like you can't stand the stuff?" Kurogane asked, irritated.

"The latter." Fai answered promptly and Kurogane heaved a sigh, turning in the direction _away_ from the sushi restaurant.

There weren't a whole lot of restaurants open after midnight, even in Tokyo. Kurogane almost asked Fai what he wanted, but then he remembered that Fai had ordered pasta dishes more often than not whenever they'd actually eaten real food so he stopped in front of a small Italian place that looked like it was going to be closing within the hour. Neo Tokyo was a city that had a little bit of everything.

Fai caught his arm as Kurogane reached for the door. "Aren't we…underdressed?" He was wearing the black shirt, along with the new bell-bottom pants he'd gotten in Survivor's City, simple, plain and Kurogane had seen him look better, but only on the outside.

"You look dressed to me." Kurogane answered him simply, turning away from Fai and back to the door in front of him. "Do you want to eat here or not?"

Fai hesitated, but when Kurogane caught sight of him from the corner of one eye, he saw that Fai was smiling.

"Kuro-pu is so gallant!" he exclaimed, latching himself onto Kurogane's arm.

Kurogane pushed open the door, trying to shake Fai off of him as they walked inside. "Get off of me you…little blonde leech."

Somehow, though, his words didn't have the snap in them they once had.

-

"Tell me all about Kuro-tan." Fai said, over his plate of bowtie pasta. "Since Kuro-pii knows all about me, it's only fair."

"My _name_ is _Kurogane_." he replied, an exhausted reminder that he fully expected to be ignored.

"Yes, but, putting that aside…"

Kurogane growled. "I've already told you haven't I? I lived with my mother until she died and…and then I went to New Chicago. We moved around a few times. My father died when I was little. There's not much to tell."

Fai pouted. "That's so formal. I want to know personal things; like Kuro-ru's favorite music, or his favorite book, or his favorite childhood memory. Do you have discs at home with images of little Kuro-chan in the bath?"

Fai seemed excited by this. Kurogane wrinkled his nose in disgust. "If I did have such things, I would burn them before you could ever get your hands on them."

"Oh, poo." Fai laughed. "I bet little Kuro-ta was adorable!"

Kurogane shoveled a forkful of food into his mouth, eager to get through dinner with _some_ dignity intact. His mother had often said he was adorable, especially when it embarrassed him. She would have gotten along great with Fai. He could just imagine them giggling conspiratorially over a digital album on the couch.

"Sirs,"

Kurogane looked up to find a nervous young waiter standing over their table. He spoke to them in practiced English.

"I've brought your check because the restaurant is closed now. If you'd like anything further, please just call for me. I'll be cleaning up in the back room, ok?"

Kurogane nodded and thanked him and Fai smiled and nodded.

Once he'd left, Fai traced a finger around the rim of his glass, looking out at the empty tables around them.

"This is a very nice place, Kuro-min. Thank you for bringing me."

Kurogane snorted dismissively. "I just didn't feel like sitting around the room. Don't get all sentimental."

* * *

"Someday we're going to have to get our eating schedules straight." Kurogane mused as they wandered back to the hotel.

"Now where would the fun be in that?" Fai joked, walking just a little closer to Kurogane, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans.

"I used to get up at the crack of dawn, train for an hour and eat breakfast, all before school." Kurogane replied. "Every day. A routine is good for you."

"What is it that Kuro-sama is going to do after he goes to the bank tomorrow?" Fai asked suddenly. "Are you going to college? Do you have a career in mind?"

Kurogane glanced at Fai, then shook his head, deciding to answer him. "I…thought I would open a school…to teach kendo, or martial arts."

Fai turned to him with interest. "I didn't know Kuro-tan knew martial arts."

"A little;" Kurogane admitted. "what I've taught myself. I'm more interested in kendo, but I could find someone else to teach the martial arts. It's a good thing to learn, not for the skill so much, but for the discipline."

"It sounds like a good dream." Fai agreed.

"It's not a dream." Kurogane argued, pulling open the door of the hotel's lobby with a yank. "It's just something I'm gonna do."

-

Fai watched as Kurogane took off his shoes and tucked them under the bedside between his feet. He'd already toed his own off and scooted them toward the far wall with one foot, out of the way. When he was finished, Fai stepped forward and set one hand experimentally on Kurgoane's shoulder. When his only reaction was a look of curiosity, Fai let his body follow, climbing on Kurogane's lap as he reached down to pull the larger man's shirt over his head.

"What are you doing?"

Fai hummed, unconcerned. "You shouldn't sleep right away after a good meal."

Kurogane let the shirt go, trying in vain to read Fai's thoughts as he slowly raked his eyes appreciatively down the new expanse of tanned skin he'd uncovered.

"I want to be at the bank first thing in the morning." Kurogane was not deaf to the waning resolve he seemed to have every time he told the blonde no.

"Just give me a minute." Fai leaned over, melding his mouth to Kurogane's, his hands trailing down the bare chest, feeling out every curve of muscle and tendon in his path as his tongue swept along Kurogane's in a gentle dance.

Kurogane, not knowing what to do with his own hands, found Fai's slender waist a good place for them. Through Fai's shirt, he could feel the faint impression of his backbone and let one hand travel up it, liking the curve of his spine beneath his hand.

Fai pulled away and their eyes met, blue filling Kurogane's world as they allowed their breath to slow and even once more. Fai seemed to want to say something but decided not to and before he could even fully smile, Kurogane cut him off.

"Don't give me that look." he demanded, glaring at the blonde in his lap. "If you've got something to say, just say it."

"You said you wanted me to finish what we started but won't we be finished tomorrow, when we go to the bank with Kuro-sama's key?"

It was obvious that Fai wasn't expecting the fist that collided painfully with the top of his head.

"You're still an idiot."

And without further explanation, Kurogane removed the idiot from his lap and turned around, laying down to get some sleep with his back to Fai.

Moments later the light went out and Fai was trying to worm his way into the small space between Kurogane's chest and the edge of the bed. Kurogane let him, moving back to give him space. Fai curled against his side, as close as he could get, laying his head on Kurogane's chest, splaying a hand on the smooth skin of his abdomen.

He lay there in silence for a long time before he spoke and Kurogane had almost nodded off when his conscious caught the soft words.

"You know, I've never slept with anyone before you. Except Fai. I didn't know it would be nice."

Kurogane didn't reply and eventually let sleep take him, one arm curled around the warmth at his side, the other hand gripping the one over his heart.

* * *

"Name." the bank manager prompted, his stony face showing no expression whatsoever. When Kurogane had taken his key to the lady behind the desk, she had called in the manager and now they had to start all over again.

"Youou Kurogane Suwa."

"Key."

Kurogane handed over the key.

"One moment, sir."

The bank manager disappeared with the key into an office room and locked the door behind him. Through a grated glass panel, Kurogane could make out the man's impression talking on a telephone.

He returned moments later, his expression as non-existent as ever and returned the key to Kurogane. "I have been permitted by the signer of that room's lease to grant you entry but the signer insists that you take only family inside with you."

They hesitated but it was with a small start that Fai spoke up. "We are family." he informed the manager. "We're married."

Kurogane whipped his head around as Fai brought out his travel pass, listing him as Fai Suwa and, after inspecting it closely, the manager nodded.

"Right this way, please."

Kurogane and Fai followed the man through a maze of underground hallways, passing countless doors along the way until they reached a dead end with only one remaining door and he bowed to them, turned and left.

"How are we going to find our way out without him?" Fai wondered aloud and, silently, Kurogane had to agree.

He held the key up to the door. He had been imagining a small storage box, not an entire room. Maybe he was rich and didn't even know it.

"Isn't it strange?" Fai asked and Kurogane turned to look at him curiously. "Your mother gave you the key but she wasn't the signer on the lease."

That was strange. And what the hell was "the house of the feather", anyway? Kurogane hadn't thought much on it, because the note said that he would get an explanation and he had to get here first, but now…

"I wonder what could be inside." Fai mused.

"There's only one way to find out."

Kurogane put the old-style key in the door and turned it. A series of clicks were followed by a series of louder thunks and when the wall before him quieted, Kurogane pushed open the door.

The room inside was dark but as the door opened, lines of fluorescent lights on the ceiling began activating, one long row at a time, revealing bit by bit three large tanks in the center of the room. In the tank on the right was a teenage boy, dressed in a green skin-tight suit, floating in a clear liquid. In the tank on the left, a teenage girl, dressed in the same suit in pink, and in the center tank, the only tank smaller than the others, was a small, rounded, white creature with long ears and a red jewel in the middle of its forehead.

"_What the hell?!_"

****** Part 1 end ******

* * *

**A Note**: "Keys" would not be used anymore in this time but this particular room has not been technologically updated (probably by the holder's request).

**Post Whatevers**: The Green Drugstore and all of its employees are from CLAMP's manga Legal Drug (or Lawful Drug). There are only 3 volumes of it so far and it does tie into the XXX Holic and Tsubasa universe. Kakei is not Kazahaya's father as Kurogane thought, but they do resemble one another.

Kurogane and Fai's world is expanding and Fai's flux of emotions may finally be leveling but I don't think he'll really settle until it's all resolved. In the next part, we'll be meeting old friends and old enemies (all Fai's, of course), there'll be a shocking revelation about the nature of the very world itself, we'll discover how "the other half" lives, someone we know is getting married, and **SOMEONE WILL DIE**! _Mwaa ha ha! _

That's a lot to look forward to. Can you believe I've been stuck on a single scene for over a month now? I'm going to try very hard to work my way through it. As always, if you liked please review and until next time, Ja!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles is the intellectual property of CLAMP.

Author's Note: OMG! It's been so long! I'm getting close to finishing this fic, so I thought I'd start posting again. Thank you all so much for your patience and understanding. I'm sorry it's taken so long but on the plus side, this will turn out to be the longest fic I've ever written! I'm very happy with myself. Yay me! Of course, content is a thousand times more important than volume, so, here I'll stop waisting your time and hope that you enjoy the content.

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

**Part 2, Chapter 1**

Kurogane Suwa had never had a desire to travel. He was perfectly content in the rural areas of his native Japan, but when a letter left him by his late mother requests that he travel to New Chicago to retrieve an item left for him in the care of a pharmacist, Kurogane sets out on a journey he could never have foreseen.

When Kurogane arrived in New Chicago he learned that the Green Drugstore where he had been headed was, in fact, behind him, relocated to California, which he had passed on his way to New Chicago. This misdirection may truly have been his destiny, however, as it was in New Chicago that Kurogane met Fai, a prostitute desperate to find freedom far, far away.

Together, the two headed west by car, with each passing day and night coming closer to the truth of Fai's ultimate plan. On a stormy night in northern California, Kurogane discovered that Fai had used him all along in his quest to find a way to the cliffs where he meant to end his own life and heard the terrible story of Fai's not-so-distant past. Despite it all, Kurogane could not let Fai go, because Fai had become a person that _mattered_ to him.

With keen but uncertain feelings, the two finally arrived at the Green Drugstore and Fai discovered something about Kurogane. Kurogane's given name is actually Youou and, according to Fai's late brother, he was the "one just for us", the hope that had kept Fai going for so many years as he prayed to be rescued until he finally gave up and joined Kurogane on his way west.

A hesitant, new resolve brought Fai to Neo Tokyo alongside Kurogane with the key left to Kurogane by his mother and entrusted to the Green Drugstore owner. There they visited the First National Bank of Neo Tokyo and discovered…

"_What the hell?_"

oo

There before them, illuminated by long rows of fluorescent lights far above were three tanks and encased within; a teenage boy, teenage girl, and a strange white creature.

"Your mother left us _children_, Kuro-tan!" Fai exclaimed, the awe evident in his voice.

Kurogane frowned. That couldn't be true…but he couldn't argue either, since he didn't have any idea _what the hell was going on_.

Fai crossed the room to the tanks, pressing his hands against the glass of first one tank, then the other. "Let's keep them, Kuro-daddy!" he pleaded.

"Get away from there!" Kurogane snapped. "Those things could be government experiments for all we know. They could be assassins!"

Fai looked back over his shoulder with a look that clearly said he was unimpressed. "Having never met Kuro-mamma, I can say with almost-certainty that anyone who raised _you_ would never give you assassins in the bodies of little children, Kuro-puu."

Kurogane drifted into the room, closing the door but leaving it ajar behind him, afraid they might be trapped there forever if he closed it, and took a closer look at the teens in question.

The girl had soft features, a gently rounded face, and short-cut chestnut hair that floated around her. He had to admit, if he ever saw _her_ kill anything, it would have been the shock of his life. The boy, on the other hand, looked as though he had had athletic training of some kind. His body was toned and slim. Kurogane could tell that it would have served him well in battle, not by strength, but by training. Despite this, the boy also wore a serene expression that seemed to match gentle features. The hair drifting out from his head was brown in color.

Behind him, Kurogane heard a static cackle and turned to watch as a full-body hologram activated; the image of a man facing the doorway. Kurogane wandered back around to face the hologram as it began to speak.

"You must have a lot of questions right now." the man said, his recorded voice sounding with the distance of age - the recording looked like it had been made decades ago. "My name is Sorata." Kurogane folded his arms as he gave his attention to the hologram of the man with short black hair. He looked to be somewhere in his thirties and wore an exuberant grin. "It is my pleasure to introduce these children to you." and he waved a hand outward in the direction of the tanks. "They are the young Princess Sakura, her companion Syaoran, and their travel guide Mokona. To make a long story short," Sorata gestured animatedly with his hands, holding them out and pushing them together "Princess Sakura has lost her memories. Each memory scattered to the wind in the form of a feather and now she spends her days traveling from one dimension to the next in search of them. Yes, I _did_ say _dimension._ You see, our tiny world is only one in a billion piled one on top of the other on top of the other or maybe…"

"Back on topic." A female voice cut in from somewhere Kurogane couldn't see, interrupting Sorata's wild gestures and excited physics lecture. Kurogane was grateful for her, whoever she had been.

"Yes, honey!" Sorata thrilled, bending down with clasped hands in her obvious direction.

"Anyway," Sorata continued, addressing Kurogane once more…or whoever happened to be watching the recording "when Princess Sakura, Syaoran, and Mokona arrived in _our_ world, they discovered that they had been separated from their remaining two travel companions. They decided to wait here for them, so honey and I invented these stasis chambers. Well, technically we had already invented them…"

"Back on topic." the woman repeated monotonously and Kurogane began to get bored.

He shifted his attention back to Fai as the hologram droned on in the background. Fai seemed to be inspecting the chambers, circling them and knocking on them.

"Right," Sorata continued "so anyway, while these guys sleep, we'll be looking for the feather for them. That way, when their friends show up, the story can have a happy ending!"

Sorata's hologram fizzled out, replaced with the much newer image of a younger man with smooth black hair and an air of wealth, manners, and kindness in his posture and smile, distracting Kurogane from Fai again.

"I'm sure that must have sounded like a fairy story to you but I have to assure you that all of it's true. In his search for the feather, Sorata founded the society of the feather, sometimes referred to as _penna_, of which I am now head. To which you are now inducted. My name is Subaru."

Kurogane's eyes darted back to Fai, who seemed to be ignoring all of this as he backed up to the control panel in front of the chambers, one hand on his chin thoughtfully, head cocked to the side.

"I cannot go into great detail regarding the feather. To learn more, you must meet me in person and whoever led you here can lead you to me."

"Kuro-rin,"

"Two things are of the utmost importance now…"

Fai jumped up onto the console to sit. "Come over here and help me."

And suddenly the room filled with the noise of draining fluids as the levels of clear fluid in the tanks suddenly began to plummet. Kurogane started, wide-eyed as it began to pool on the surrounding floor, having nowhere else to go.

"Don't repeat any of this outside of our circle; the very world may depend on it…" Subaru continued.

All three containment doors slid open simultaneously, releasing their captives harshly to the floor below.

"and don't awaken them." Subaru finished, his hologram vanishing cleanly seconds later.

"Kuro-pi!" Fai rushed to the floor where the three had begun coughing and hacking to expel the fluid from their lungs.

"What the hell did you _do_?" Kurogane sputtered, finally willing his feet to move in the direction of the disaster.

"Kuro-ta," Fai returned, scoldingly "don't shout in front of the children."

"Are you completely deaf!" Kurogane screamed, hauling Fai up from the floor by his shirt front. "We weren't supposed to wake them up! You see crazy shit like this and your first idea is to wake them up!"

"They were lonely!" Fai whined. "And anyway, I didn't _mean_ to!"

"You _meant_ to!" Kurogane snarled but before he could do anything further to the idiot, the white creature gave a startling shout and flew through the air, slamming into his face with a wet _smack_.

"Fai-Fai! Kuro-puuuu!" it cried, holding on tight and it was all Kurogane could do to pry it off without screaming. The shout he unintentionally let out was bad enough.

"I'm soooo sorry!" it wailed, swaying by its ears in Kurogane's grip. "Mokona hiccupped! I'm so happy to see you!" It wiggled its tiny arms, reaching for Kurogane's face.

"_What the hell are you?_" Kurogane yelled. If he was freaking out, he had just cause. He had just learned that there were other dimensions out there and an alien creature had just attached itself to his face!

"Kuro-puu doesn't remember Mokona?" the creature asked, despairingly.

Behind them, the children got shakily to their feet, the boy supporting the girl, one hand wrapped around her waist, the other steadying him against the side of the girl's tank.

"Mokona, I'm afraid there may have been a mistake." the boy spoke up.

"Fai-Fai?" Mokona pleaded, desperately, turning as much as it could to peer at Fai behind it.

"Well…that _is_ my name," the blonde admitted, "in a manner of speaking." he added, smiling.

The little white creature threw its head back and wailed. "WAH! Mokona didn't make _this_ mistake!" it cried.

Kurogane held the thing away from him and, on second thought, gave it a toss in the boy's direction.

"Now what are you going to do with them?" he demanded of Fai as the boy, Syaoran, caught the creature in the arm that had been resting against the tank.

Fai smiled, kneeling in front of the children and patting the girl's wet hair gently. "Don't mind daddy." he said, speaking gently. "Just because you weren't planned, doesn't mean you won't be loved."

"Don't ignore me, idiot!" Kurogane yelled. "That guy specifically said "don't wake them up". Now we're responsible for shooting this set-up all to hell and on top of it, we have to answer to some secret society!"

"Please," the girl said, speaking up for the first time, stretching a hand out weakly "please don't fight. I'm sure it'll be ok."

Mokona nodded vigorously. "Mokona will call Yuuko."

Kurogane was about to ask who this "Yuuko" person was, when the creature suddenly hopped to the floor and the jewel on its forehead began to glow.

A hologram appeared, showing a shapely, dark-haired woman but unlike the previous holograms, this one didn't appear to be a recording. The woman was sitting at a table, eating. She appeared to be extremely pleased with the flavor and looked up, blinking in surprise as she swallowed.

"Mokona!" she exclaimed with a smile. "Why it's been nearly three days since I last heard from you. Tell me, how long has it been there?"

"Mokona doesn't know." the creature answered.

"I see you've met some new friends." the woman said, smiling sweetly at Kurogane and Fai over Mokona's head.

"That's the problem!" Mokona exclaimed. "While Mokona and Sakura and Syaoran were asleep, waiting for Fai and Kuro-puu, this world's Fai and Kuro-puu came and this world's Kuro-puu isn't any nicer than our Kuro-puu."

"Aww." the woman cooed consolingly. "Why that's just terrible. I suppose you really haven't traveled far enough to find a sweet, gentle Kurogane who would hug you and cuddle you at night, and feed you sweet things."

"Listen up, lady; you'd better quit talking about me like I'm not even here!" Kurogane argued, pointing menacingly at the hologram. "I don't care if you've got some other version of me on your creepy alien world but there isn't a me in the entire universe who would ever do those things!"

"Oh my!" Yuuko covered her mouth with the back of her hand and laughed at him. "Are you certain you'd like to wait for _your_ Kurogane? I'm sure if you replaced him with this one you'd hardly be able to tell the difference."

"Yuuko-san…" Sakura pleaded and her tone was _almost_ gently admonishing.

"When Sorata sealed us in his containment units, he said that, because of their nature, it wouldn't be healthy to return to stasis after awakening." Syaoran explained, picking up the conversation. "But our Kurogane-san and Fai-san haven't arrived yet. Has anything changed since we last spoke to you? Is there anything you or we can do?"

The woman in the hologram had gone back to eating. She seemed to have lost interest in the exchange.

"If _I_ were in your place," she said, taking a drink of sake from a small ceramic cup "I think that I would take a little time to enjoy the benefits of such a meeting as you three have found yourselves in. After all," she added, grinning in a way that sent chills down Kurogane's spine, your Fai and Kurogane aren't going anywhere."

The children paled at her apparent lack of concern for their situation.

"I do, however, have two pieces of advice."

At this, the children perked up, as if this was finally the information they had been waiting for and was of the utmost importance.

"First, buy a camera." the woman said, clapping her hands together excitedly. "I want pictures! Lots of pictures! And second,…" and here she paused for dramatic effect. "All is hitsuzen."

And the hologram image disappeared, leaving them in silence.

"_**What the hell!**_" Kurogane yelled to which Syaoran cringed…maybe just a second before he had actually exploded…

Fai smiled widely as he knelt before Mokona, placing a hand atop its head happily. "And here I thought our adventure was over."

"Fai-san, would it be possible for you to take us to see Sorata-san and Arashi-san?" Sakura asked politely.

Fai, in turn, looked up at Kurogane who growled to himself and looked away. "Look, kid…truth is…I think you've been locked away for a bit longer than you think. I don't think that Sorata guy is around anymore. There's some guy called Subaru in charge now."

"So we'll take you to Subaru, then." Fai interjected.

"That's easier said than done." Kurogane growled to Fai. "They aren't from this time period. They don't have passports or ids. As far as the rest of the world's concerned, they don't even exist!" He flung an arm out, pointing at the trio as he addressed the blonde. "On top of that, your passport is gonna run out soon."

"We'll think of something." Fai insisted. His voice didn't quite have the confidence his words suggested.

"Yeah, well, first we've got to get them out of the bank." Kurogane sounded about as convinced as he felt. "Got any suggestions on that?"

"Oh!" Syaoran exclaimed suddenly. "Sorata-san gave us some of this world's clothing." And he turned to the white creature. "Mokona."

"Mokona remembers!" It answered and jumped into the air, opening its mouth wide. A small ball of light emerged and took form, becoming a suitcase that floated to Syaoran's waiting hands.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Fai exclaimed.

Mokona puffed up its chest proudly. "That's one of Mokona's 108 secret techniques!" it declared.

"_108!_" Fai marveled. "I'll bet you can do _anything_!"

The creature nodded in agreement. "Yup! Mokona can travel between dimensions and store things and sing and dance! Mokona is amazing!"

"Hey, amazing." Kurogane called gruffly. "Can you make us a couple of ids and travel passes for these guys?"

Mokona shook its head remorsefully. "Mokona can't do _that_."

"Then you're useless." Kurogane declared with finality, turning away from the thing to see what the kids were pulling from their suitcase.

"Will these do?" Syaoran asked, holding up his outfit for Kurogane's inspection. Sakura did the same.

He wanted to say that _Sorata_ had _horrible_ taste and that even in the past he couldn't imagine _anyone_ wearing anything so gaudy, but he refrained.

"For now, I guess."

The girl's dress was pink with dark orange flowers and a petal shaped collar and Syaoran's shirt was green with blue pineapples. Kurogane wondered what it was they would normally have worn. Unless it was something like caveman furs or Victorian royalty attire, they might have wanted to wear that instead.

Sakura crossed the room and the others dutifully turned their backs while both changed. Kurogane almost cringed at the sight of the shirt actually _on_ the boy. He felt terribly sorry for the kid.

"Where are we going to go?" Sakura asked when she rejoined them.

The only good thing about those outfits, Kurogane thought, was that at least they matched.

"That guy told you, didn't he?" Kurogane answered her, heading for the room's door. "To that Subaru guy."

"I thought you said that would be too difficult." Syaoran returned, curiosity evident in his voice, as though he knew that Kurogane had come up with some solution.

"That's why instead, we'll make him come to us." Kurogane answered.

-ooo-

"Hey!" Kurogane called at the bank's service counter. They had made two wrong turns just trying to get back there and Kurogane was not in a mood to wait patiently. "Get me that bank manager."

A young male teller scurried to comply with his demand and soon, the stony faced man appeared from an office nearby.

"Yes?" the man asked. "How may I help you?"

"You ever seen what was in that room you just took us to?" Kurogane asked, getting right to the point.

The man seemed offended. "Certainly not. That room has been rented since before I was _born_ and its holders have always paid for the _highest_ degree of privacy and security."

"Yeah, well the shit inside's broken. So call up the holder so I can work it out with him."

At the news that the contents of the room had been damaged, all blood drained from the man's face, leaving him a sickly ashen white and he gaped at Kurogane in shock and disbelief.

"That…that certainly isn't…there has never been an incident in that room since the day it was rented. Surely you must be mistaken." the man stuttered, wringing his hands in despair.

"It would be terrible if you _didn't_ call him and he found out anyway, wouldn't it?" Fai suggested. "Or we could leave and blame you instead…"

"I'll get him on the phone right away." the man decided, turning quickly toward his office. "Come with me."

They all filed into the office and the man pulled the shades over the large glass windows tight shut and locked the door. Then he turned to the video screen on his wall and dialed the number from a keypad on his desk with shaking hands.

A maid answered. She smiled politely at the group. "How may I help you?" she asked. Kurogane noted that she had not bothered to confirm her employer's identity. This must have been a little-used line.

The bank manager looked sick. "Ah, S-S-Subaru, please."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, giving them a sympathetic look. "Master Subaru has just left to attend a very important meeting. I won't be able to contact him until tomorrow morning. May I take a message for you?"

The bank manager visibly relaxed with a small sigh and Syaoran took that moment to step forward from behind the two older men.

"Please tell Subaru-san that Syaoran and Sakura-hime would like to speak with him as soon as possible."

"I see." the woman answered with a soft smile. "That's wonderful. Please remain where you are for now. In the morning, I will give Subaru your message. If you call again tomorrow, he will be glad to hear the details of your situation."

"Thank you." Syaoran said, bowing respectfully.

The maid bowed in return and the screen snapped back to black as the call was disconnected.

-ooo-

Kurogane didn't know what he was supposed to do. He'd gone to the bank this morning with Fai and the mysterious key his mother had left to him and left with Fai and two children and their talking pet rabbit.

"Look Syaoran!" The girl was pointing excitedly at every other building they passed as they walked down the sidewalk in amazement, carrying around the talking rabbit like a stuffed animal.

The boy was awed too. "Kurogane-san, are you from Tokyo? Is that style of building new or has it been around for a while?"

Kurogane followed the boy's pointing finger to an unusually shaped skyscraper and shrugged. "I'm not a city person. I wouldn't know."

"Kuro-ru is a country boy." Fai declared. "Hey! You know different versions of us, right?"

Syaoran nodded. "Yes, that's right."

"Tell me all about Kuro-tan and me!" Fai exclaimed, walking backwards to face Syaoran behind him and pointing at himself.

Kurogane tuned into the conversation, but kept his gaze ahead of them, trying not to show too much interest.

"Ah, well, our Kurogane-san is a ninja from a country with the same name as this one."

"A ninja?" Kurogane asked, blowing his attempt to appear indifferent.

"Yes," Syaoran affirmed with a nod. "He's a very skilled warrior who battles with a long blade. He's teaching me to fight with a sword, too. In Kurogane-san's country, he serves the princess Tomoyo."

"Is there a Tomoyo in this world too?" Sakura asked.

Kurogane shook his head. "Never heard of her."

"Now about me!" Fai declared, excitedly. "Is your me as charming as me?" he asked, giving them a huge grin.

Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Our Fai-san is always smiling." Sakura said with a fond smile of her own. "He's a very good cook and can draw well, too. He's always kind to everyone. He comes from a very cold place where he was a sorcerer but he doesn't do magic anymore."

"Magic!" Fai exclaimed. "Do you hear that, Kuro-pon! I'm a magician!"

"And I'm a frickin' ninja." Kurogane replied, dismissing the subject altogether. "Who cares about those guys. They aren't here. We are."

"Kuro-tan has no sense of wonder and excitement." Fai pouted. "Or maybe…" Fai said, his eyes widening with sudden realization "Is Kuro-chan jealous of the other Kuro-puu because he has a big sword and fights bad guys and serves a princess?"

"He's _jealous_!" Mokona echoed in agreement.

"**I am not jealous!**" Kurogane roared. "Why would I be jealous of some guy from another dimension; especially some guy who has to deal with some magical pixy _you_ and that _talking rabbit_? I pity the guy!"

"Mokona is _not_ a rabbit!" the creature declared indignantly. "Mokona is Mokona!"

"We don't have any Mokona on this world." Fai said, changing the subject. "Are they common on your world, Syaoran and Sakura?"

Sakura shook her head. "Oh, no. We got Mokona from Yuuko-san."

"There are only two Mokona." the creature answered. "Mokona white and Mokona black who lives with Yuuko."

"So you're not a species?" Fai asked and Mokona shook its head no. "Wow. What about you two?" he said, looking to the two teens. "Do you know magic too?"

Syaoran blushed and shook his head. "No. Nothing like that, for me anyway. Sakura-hime can sometimes talk to spirits, though, and…her luck is very strong…"

Fai laughed. "Kuro-bu's seen my luck first hand. I'm about as lucky as a black cat…except that I met Kuro-sama." he added, smiling back at Kurogane.

"Hmph." Kurogane looked away pointedly, shoving his hands further into his pockets.

"Have you ever met Kuro-chi and I in other dimensions?" Fai asked, getting back on his original topic.

"No." Syaoran answered. "We haven't met with any other versions of ourselves before now. I mean, well, _our _Fai-san and Kurogane-san aren't here right now, but we've never seen them anywhere else before."

Fai nodded in understanding and smiled. "It sounds like you're all very close."

"Well, we live together and fight together." Syaoran answered "…I suppose we _are_ close…in a way… But the Kurogane-san and Fai-san that we travel with each have their own lives and…I'm sure those lives will continue when we're done collecting the princess's feathers."

"Oh?" Fai seemed a little depressed to hear that.

"Look, we've got an entire day to kill before we have to find a hotel for the night." Kurogane said.

He'd heard enough of magical people and ninjas. At the end of the day, none of that really mattered to he or Fai. Whatever those _other_ versions of he and Fai were going to do when they were done traveling had nothing to do with what _he_ was going to do, or what theFai _he_ knew was going to do. And anyway, was their Fai really his Fai, or was it the brother that Fai had lost? Kurogane was sure that if Fai thought about it he would ignore it altogether and he didn't want to think about it either.

"If there's anything you want to do you'd better say so now."

"Really!" Fai exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I've always wanted to ride in a Japanese ferris wheel! They always look so fun and romantic in old movies and anime! Take us to a ferris wheel, Kuro-tan! The children want to go too, right?" Fai asked, turning back to them for support.

Syaoran looked slightly embarrassed at being put in the spotlight but Sakura lit up.

"Could we?" she asked, hopefully.

Kurogane found it difficult to argue with her like he would with Fai. "I was actually referring to food or maybe clothing. You guys have been asleep for quite a while."

"Well, we…" Syaoran seemed ready to agree with him so Fai interrupted.

"Kuro-daddy, you said _anything_!" he whined. "How can you possibly deprive us of such a rich cultural experience as riding a Japanese ferris wheel when we have all day and nothing else to do? And the children may not be in this dimension for much longer. They may never see a ferris wheel again! It's _horrible_! Don't you want to ride on a ferris wheel with me!" the blonde wailed, clinging onto Kurogane's arm dramatically.

"Don't make a show of begging for those kids when you're really begging for yourself!" Kurogane shouted back.

"Is that a yes?" Fai prompted.

"Look, if you can find the thing, we'll go," Kurogane relented "otherwise, we're going to pick up a change of clothes. I don't know about you but I'm not looking forward to wearing the same shirt and pants three days in a row."

"Yay!" Fai shouted, releasing Kurogane as he threw his arms out happily and turned to hail a cab.

Almost immediately, a taxi pulled to the side of the road for them and Fai climbed into the back seat. The children slowly filed in behind him leaving Kurogane to take the passenger's seat.

"Take us to the nearest ferris wheel!" Fai declared and the driver nodded, smiling in the rearview.

"Yes, sir!"

Unbelievable, Kurogane thought. Why hadn't he just said no?

oo

The ferris wheel that the cabbie took them to was not part of an amusement park. Rather, it was nestled amongst the city's buildings and climbing highways, perched atop a skyscraper to overlook the metropolis around and below it.

They all marveled at the sight.

"Oh wow!" Mokona exclaimed as they stood on the roof of the building where a line of people were gathered to ride.

"Is it really ok?" Syaoran asked, trying to be discrete so as to give Kurogane a way out if he wanted.

Kurogane looked down at the boy for a moment but then turned away, looking back at the ferris wheel. "We're already here."

Kurogane could remember one time he had ridden a ferris wheel when his mother had taken him to a local carnival. He'd only been a child and he looked at Fai and wondered if he had any happy memories from his life.

Fai was marveling at the ferris wheel but caught sight of him staring and grinned widely, lunging toward him to wrap his arms around Kurogane's arm, pressing himself against the limb in his grasp happily.

"Let's get in line, Kuro-sama!"

"Yeah, yeah." Kurogane muttered, digging out his wallet. "Come on," he said to the others, not quite sure himself how he should address them "get in front."

The two teens hurried to comply but he saw that they'd been staring at him and wondered momentarily what kind of a person it was that they traveled with; the man who shared his face.

Fai dragged him into the gondola and settled on the bench at the far end laying a hand on the window as he watched them begin to move skyward.

There was a moment of silence as they both looked out at the incredible view and then, as they had crested the top for the first time, Fai spoke.

"I want to do these things with you…always."

He turned to look at Kurogane and his hair seemed lighter to Kurogane in the surrounding sunlight, his eyes a warmer shade of blue, his smile, barely there, was sincerely happy. Kurogane remembered a Fai standing in the pouring rain with downcast eyes and heavy hair, dark with rain, he remembered a dance on a stage where eyes had followed his every movement, and a broken man struggling weakly against him, screaming and crying.

Kurogane held this moment in reverence. Fai's statement had been honest and sincere and Kurogane did not want to hear any more, did not want to try to plan or think about the future; just this, he thought. This moment did not need all that other shit.

The ferris wheel came to a stop and Fai and Kurogane looked out to find themselves staring out over the city, the third gondola from the very top. Fai moved closer to him and Kurogane turned back in time. And they kissed. A warm and tender gesture, a slow movement of lips that allowed Kurogane time to explore the taste that was _Fai_ in simplicity, without the thought of anything more, without hesitant feelings or words and he wondered when it was that he had fallen in love.

"Soooomebody was getting lovey-dovey up there." Mokona stated, waving back and forth on Syaoran's head when Kurogane and Fai met up with them after they got off the ride. Syaoran and Sakura were both blushing profusely, so it was safe to assume the little pastry was talking about them, but just in case, Kurogane grabbed it by the ears and tossed it back into the boy's arms.

"Mind your own business."

"Hey!" the creature protested. "Mokona's delicate!"

"Pft." Kurogane returned, ignoring the thing.

Angry at the treatment, Mokona leapt onto Kurogane's shoulder instead and before the man could throw him off, whispered "I know your secret!"

Kurogane blushed and shoved it away. "Save it for that other guy!" he said, referring to his other self that belonged with the group.

Mokona landed in Fai's accommodating arms. "Kuro-rin is Kuro-rin." it stated with a despairing sigh.

"Look, I didn't expect to be stuck here for another day and night." Kurogane said. "And thanks to that idiot in Survivor's City, we forgot our all our clothes so I'm going shopping. If any of you want something, now's the time to get it. Otherwise, I don't care what you do."

With no more said, Kurogane turned and made his way to the exit.

Fai extended his free hand to the teens and Sakura placed her small hand in his. Fai grinned. "Let's go shopping!"

-ooo-

Kurogane was defeated the moment they stepped into the mall. While Syaoran seemed reluctant to so much as breathe without approval, Sakura was quickly won over by Fai and followed his every direction like a duckling, getting excited on the blonde's every cue.

"Does this one look better, Syaoran-kun?" she asked, coming out of the changing room for the third time.

Unfortunately for Kurogane, while Sakura was being led by Fai, _she_ in turn had Syaoran wrapped around her little finger; meaning that Fai was in complete control here.

"It…it's lovely, princess." the boy stuttered. "They all look…beautiful…on you…"

Kurogane groaned.

Meanwhile, Fai emerged from the neighboring stall, throwing his arms out in a flourish. "Well? What do you think?"

He'd gone back to the rainbow look, with a retro-style Lucky Charms t-shirt and a pair of rainbow colored jeans, a purple scarf with white flowers tied about his waist, knotted at his left hip.

"That you better not have any intention of walking next to me wearing that." Kurogane mumbled but he was drowned out by Sakura's delighted squeal and the clap of her hands.

"How _pretty_!" she exclaimed.

"Syaoran?" Fai asked, turning to the boy.

Put in the spotlight, Syaoran smiled nervously. "It's very colorful."

"Kuro-pu?" Fai turned to him finally and Kurogane growled.

"If I tell you it looks good, can we go now?"

Fai considered that for a second. "Only if you prove it with a kiss." he replied, grinning and pointing to his cheek.

Kurogane huffed and got up to leave.

"Nooo!" Fai cried. "We're good. We can go now."

-ooo-

"Thank you for the clothes, Kurogane-san." Syaoran said. He was wearing a simple pair of dark blue jeans and a green t-shirt.

Kurogane frowned privately. "You don't have to be so formal."

"I've been meaning to ask about that." Fai interrupted, falling into step with them. "How is it that you can speak such good English if you're from another dimension? Did the people who found you teach it to you?"

Kurogane gave him a strange look. "English? They've been speaking Japanese the whole time."

Fai stopped walking. Kurogane wasn't about to let him argue, he knew _Japanese_ when he heard it. Just as he was about to say so, Mokona hopped up from Sakura's arms.

"That's Mokona!" it declared. "Mokona translates other languages so people can understand each other!"

Fai's eyes widened. "So that's why everyone we pass has been speaking English lately. You're pretty handy, Moko-chan! It's really too bad you aren't a species."

"If you were, I wouldn't have to buy lunch." Kurogane added, grinning at the creature.

Mokona puffed out its chest in protest. "Kuro-puu better watch it!" it declared. "I'll send you to Yuuko to work for her like Watanuki and wear aprons and serve sake!"

"About the time you do that is when you find yourself stewed, meat bun!" Kurogane shouted back, halting their progress when he turned back to yell in Sakura's unfortunate direction.

She closed her eyes to the onslaught and smiled a little nervously.

"Come on, Kuro-ta," Fai urged, taking Kurogane's arm and leading him along the sidewalk "hunger must be making you cranky."

"**I'm not **_**cranky**_!" Kurogane yelled down at him.

-ooo-

Kurogane took them all to a traditional Japanese restaurant for lunch. The food was grilled in front of them and regardless of whether or not he'd possibly been hungry or irritable, he felt a great deal better watching his fish sizzling just the way he liked it. He closed his eyes and inhaled the smells around him. If only American restaurants could be this good. He'd been far too long without a good meal.

Kurogane opened his eyes and frowned at the blonde sitting across from him. Fai's eyes were squinted and he was covering his nose as though trying to protect it from something offensive.

"Stop that." Kurogane complained. "It's embarrassing. If you don't like it just wait outside."

"But Kuro-sama!" Fai whined. He made the mistake of uncovering his nose to do so and when the smell hit him full force he winced, his face contorting in a look of disgust.

"I don't think our Fai-san likes fish much either." Sakura said, patting Fai gently on the shoulder.

"Figures." Kurogane muttered. "Your poor taste transcends to other lives."

"Mean!" Fai cried, kicking Kurogane lightly under the table.

"Quit complaining!" Kurogane snapped, kicking his shoe in retaliation.

Kurogane separated a piece of the fish with his chopsticks and brought it to his mouth. He hadn't tasted anything so perfect since his mother had cooked for him. He was thoroughly enjoying himself…until he felt a certain foot underneath the table slide up his calf and promptly choked.

Syaoran immediately reached over and began patting his back. Kurogane glared daggers across the table but Fai was ignoring him, eating from his own bowl of chicken and noodles with a fork he'd specifically asked for.

Things settled down again as the four silently ate their meals but a few minutes later, Kurogane felt Fai's foot again, bare this time. It seemed to be resting on the small space of booth between his knees and proceeded to slowly stroke his inner thigh. Kurogane turned red as he stared across the table at Fai who seemed to be ignoring him, his innocent act cemented by his light conversation with Sakura regarding weather patterns in New Chicago.

"Fai."

At the sound of his name, Fai diverted his attention to Kurogane, smiling sweetly across the table.

"Yes, Kuro-puu?"

"How do you feel about sleeping on the floor tonight?" Kurogane asked, trying…_trying_…to keep his voice level.

Fai's toes curled around a bit of the material of his pants and tugged, effectively causing it to move slightly over his crotch. Kurogane could feel his face burning.

"How do _you_ feel about me sleeping on the floor tonight?" he asked, smiling slyly.

Kurogane wasn't sure he could reply anymore without raising suspicion.

Syaoran was looking back and forth between them, trying to follow the conversation but failing. "I…If you can't afford an extra room, Sakura-hime and I can sleep on the floor." he offered. "We generally do sleep on futons or even on the ground in our travels."

Kurogane and Fai both stared back at him, Fai smiling softly. Kurogane was relieved when the foot retreated.

"Does that mean that Kuro-rin normally sleeps with Fai-Fai?" Mokona asked slyly.

Kurogane looked down to find the creature seated next to his plate, snatching the last bite of his fish and popping it into its mouth with a satisfying "mmm-mm".

"Hey!" he shouted, forgetting all about Fai and his wandering foot. "Get your own fish! Don't just steal mine!"

Sakura smiled behind her hand.

-ooo-

Kurogane had had no idea that cab fare cost so much. He took them all to a city park to spend the afternoon. He was beginning to feel a bit awkward, leading the group around like a game of follow the leader. Fai seemed content to follow him wherever he had a whim to go, be it the park or a restaurant he didn't like or the gates of hell… Syaoran and Sakura kept mostly quiet. They didn't appear to want to question him, not wanting to sound too familiar where familiarity was uncalled for.

This left Kurogane meandering along at the head of the group, hands shoved in his pockets, Mokona perched stubbornly on his shoulder. He'd been so preoccupied feeling uncomfortable that he hadn't realized that Fai might feel uncomfortable until he noticed a bend in the path they were walking and was reminded of the story Fai had told him of his past. He could almost imagine two identical blonde haired children running ahead of them, laughing as they rounded the bend and disappeared.

He looked over to find Fai walking beside him, staring off into the distance.

"Is this alright?" he asked, keeping his voice low so as not to attract the attention of the teens walking behind them.

Fai looked back at him, a strange ghost of a smile on his face. "The park, you mean?"

Kurogane nodded as he turned his gaze back to the path ahead. "We can go somewhere else if you want."

From the corner of his eye, Kurogane saw the smile brighten as Fai sidled closer, twining his fingers with Kurogane's between them.

"I'm happy."

Mokona leaned over to look down at their hands and squealed happily. "Look, look!" it cried, pointing. "They're in _love_!"

Kurogane reached over and grabbed the creature by the ears, tossing it over his shoulder, stubbornly ignoring the comment, though his face did heat as he blushed.

oo

Eventually, they came to a pond and stopped to sit at the water's edge.

"Kurogane-san," Syaoran asked "how was it that you and Fai-san came to find us?"

Kurogane rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully, trying to decide how much of the tale to relate.

"My mother passed away recently." he said. "I guess she was a member of that society of yours and she left me a key to your vault."

"Kuro-tan and I met along the way." Fai added.

Syaoran nodded. "Mokona, I don't suppose you feel the feather anywhere nearby?"

Mokona raised its ears and concentrated for a minute, then lowered them sadly. "No. Mokona feels the feather in this world but it's very far away."

"It's alright." Sakura spoke up. "Yuuko says that these things are hitsuzen. I'm sure we'll find it soon."

"What will you do if you find the feather but not your friends?" Fai asked. "How long will you wait now that you're awake?"

Kurogane noticed a look of guilt pass the boy's face. "We waited for six months when we first arrived on this world." he said. "But…the princess needs her feathers… We don't want to leave without them…But we will…if we really have to."

Sakura didn't seem to like that bit of information, but neither did she object.

"I'm sorry." Fai apologized. "It's my fault since I woke you up."

Sakura shook her head. "No. I believe that we'll meet up with them before it comes to that. Things will all work themselves out. I know that we're meant to travel together."

Mokona waddled over to Sakura, placing its tiny paws comfortingly on her knees. "Sakura's right." it declared. "Kurogane and Fai will catch up."

oo

They spent the rest of their afternoon in the park. Syaoran tried not to let it show, Kurogane could tell, but he was getting antsy, unused to doing nothing for long periods of time. When the sun sat, they made their way out of the park and hailed a taxi to take them to the hotel Kurogane and Fai had spent their previous night in. This time, Kurogane asked for two rooms but they all gathered in one and ordered out for pizza.

Kurogane's life seemed to be flying by in a haze of hotel rooms and restaurant food. He wondered what his life would be like when this crazy trip was over. Would Fai live with him in Japan? He would have to learn Japanese. Kurogane didn't even know what would happen tomorrow. For all he knew, the situation would be out of his hands when they handed Syaoran and Sakura over to Subaru in the morning. What would he do if that were the case?

"Kuro-tan," Fai announced, interrupting Kurogane's train of thought "I was thinking. We need children."

Kurogane promptly choked on the drink he'd been swallowing. Fai's timing would never cease to amaze him.

"I think I would allow you to use a surrogate bank so we could have a few little Kuro-rii's running around." he continued. Fai was lying on his stomach next to Sakura, his feet kicking lazily in the air behind him as he regarded Kurogane.

"Who the hell said I wanted a kid?" Kurogane shouted back. "And if I _did_, I wouldn't need your _permission_."

"What's a… "surrogate bank"?" Syaoran asked curiously and Fai turned to answer him.

"It's a place for couples who can't give birth to children to find someone else who can carry the baby for them."

"Does that mean that Kurogane-san would…" he seemed reluctant to say it and it took Kurogane a moment to understand what he was asking.

"_Of course not!_" Kurogane yelled, horrified and embarrassed.

Fai laughed nervously.

"I don't understand." Sakura said innocently and this time it was Syaoran's face that lit up, as if his quest for knowledge had made him forget she was there for a moment - or at least forget that he might not want to discuss such things in front of her.

"N…nothing, princess." he stammered. "About Subaru-san." he said, changing the subject with record speed. "Will you be going with us to meet him?"

"Of course." Fai answered, jumping in before Kurogane could even consider the option. "We'll make sure you find your memory-feather, too."

"Hey now." Kurogane wasn't sure he wanted to disagree, per se. But he was pretty sure he didn't want the decision made for him.

"Hush." Fai threw at him and Kurogane narrowed his eyes, grabbing the nearest available pillow to shove into the blonde's face, squishing it there with satisfaction.

"Shut up."

Unfortunately for Kurogane, when the pillow fell away, he found a malicious grin covering Fai's face and had only seconds to lunge away from the bed before his previous spot was assaulted with another pillow.

Fai continued to chase him around the room, Kurogane yelling at him to stop in no polite language, until Fai accidentally missed and smacked Mokona onto the floor with his ammunition.

Syaoran and Sakura sat back to watch the pillow war as Mokona retaliated, chasing Fai with a maniacal battle cry until Sakura chuckled and Syaoran turned only to find a pillow covering his face.

* * *

Post whatevers: It's not an AU! Shock! And with that, the cast expands. Next time, we get to meet Subaru and company and...and...something wonderful will happen! As always, if you liked, please review. Ja!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Tsubasa is the intellectual property of CLAMP.

Author's Note: Please remember and consider before reading: **This is rated M.**

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

**Part 2, Chapter 2**

The next morning, the group arrived at the First National Bank of Neo Tokyo when they opened their doors at nine a.m..

The bank manager led them into a private conference room dutifully and made the connection to the residence of the mysterious holder of the vault where Sakura, Syaoran, and Mokona had slept.

The same maid they had spoken to the day before answered the call, smiling happily at them from the viewing screen.

"I'm very happy to see you again sirs and miss. When I told Master Subaru of your call, he was very excited to meet you and sent his personal jet to Neo Tokyo for you."

The screen switched to a roaming map, leading the way from the bank to an airport.

"If you go to this airport, you'll be able to find his personal hanger quite easily." The screen switched back to the young woman speaking.

"I hope to meet you all in person very soon. Goodbye."

With that, the maid bowed to them and the connection blacked out.

Kurogane was still waiting for his turn to speak. They had no idea _where_ this Subaru guy was, the kids _still_ didn't have any paperwork, and now they were planning to stick him on _another_ plane.

"It's kind of getting exciting;" Fai said "like a mystery novel or a spy movie. Called to a secret location by the mysterious Subaru on a need-to-know basis, the group must overcome all obstacles to learn the ultimate truth behind all existence!"

Kurogane was too devastated to argue with him.

-ooo-

"I feel bad that you have to keep paying for things when Sakura-hime and I can't do anything for ourselves." Syaoran said as Kurogane paid for yet another cab ride. "Our problems don't have to be your problems, Kurogane-san. You can leave us at the airport. We'll be fine."

Kurogane shook his head in response. "When I start something, I finish it." he answered simply.

It wasn't long before they arrived at the airport and that feeling of dread welled in Kurogane's stomach at the thought of flying across the ocean in another airplane. With the way things were going, he wouldn't have been surprised to find that Subaru lived in California too, right there in Survivor's City.

A man opened the cab door for them and bowed as they stepped out, one by one. "I know who you are." he said, a grin on his face as he looked down at the children. "My name's Fuuma." he added. "I'll be flying you to Subaru."

That said, he handed Syaoran and Sakura each a card, a digital copy of the passport information they would need, hanging from a chain which they hung around their necks.

Fuuma began walking, leaving them to follow him as he continued explaining things over his shoulder. "For simplicity's sake, you'll be the children of those two men with you. Your names are Syaoran and Sakura Suwa."

"Suwa?" Syaoran asked, looking up at Kurogane curiously. "Is that you, Kurogane-san?"

Kurogane nodded but he was frowning at the back of Fuuma's head. "How do you know who we are?"

Fuuma grinned back at him. "Subaru knows everything." he answered cryptically.

Kurogane did not like that answer. He was too involved in this for someone as clueless as he was.

"I call the window seat!" Fai declared, throwing one arm in the air and slipping his other hand into Kurogane's.

Fuuma grinned back at him. "Well then it's your lucky day. They're _all_ window seats!"

Kurogane paled and Fai laughed nervously, squeezing his hand sympathetically.

oo

The special hangar where Subaru's private jet was located could only be reached by passing through a robotically manned checkpoint. They each had to swipe their passport cards and pass through a detection machine before the gate would open to allow them to pass.

The jet itself was a sleek, black, vertical take-off model, the kind that really spoke of wealth and a desire for efficiency.

Maybe it was less likely to crash, Kurogane thought as he and the group followed Fuuma on board.

Kurogane could recall having seen the inside of a private jet in a movie once. It was a president's jet and by the end of the movie it had blown up, scattering pieces across the Atlantic. That aside, this one was nicer; which made him wonder again…just who the heck _was_ this Subaru guy?

"Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable." Fuuma offered, crossing the ivory carpeting toward the front of the plane. "I'll be back as soon as we're airborne."

"Hyuu!" Fai called, taking a short stroll around the area. He dropped down onto a white leather couch and reached out to press a button on a nearby panel. A section of wall pulled back to give them a full view of their surroundings.

Syaoran immediately took interest, drifting to the panel in awe to watch the world outside.

"There's a bathtub." Sakura said, peeking into a side room at the back of the plane.

"There's even a rubber ducky!" Mokona announced, hopping out with said toy in paw as proof.

"Looks like we're ready for takeoff!" Fuuma announced over a surround-sound system hidden somewhere discrete. "Please have a seat and return the rubber duck."

Mokona's eyes widened in shock and it hurried to comply as they all took their seats.

"There aren't any seatbelts." Kurogane complained under his breath, taking a seat next to Fai on the couch.

Fai just smiled.

"I didn't say I wanted seatbelts." Kurogane argued. "I don't see parachutes either."

Fai's smile shifted to the right and Kurogane scowled.

"Shut up!" he growled, then as they began to feel the jet leave the ground, he reached around Fai and slammed a fist on the button to close the panel. "And close that damn thing!"

Kurogane caught Syaoran looking his way from one of the armchairs curiously but he pointedly ignored the boy.

A few minutes later, after the jet had ascended and began moving forward, Fuuma came back to join them. He had a big grin on his face and Kurogane instantly hated him. He wanted that jackass in the cabin, flying the plane, not back here grinning at them like he was Subaru's personal court jester.

"Well, what do ya think?" Fuuma asked, waving a hand out to indicate the aircraft. "Pretty cushy, huh? It's just been overhauled. If you'd come a week earlier it woulda looked completely different but I kinda like this look."

"Won't it get dirty with all this white?" Fai asked, making conversation.

Fuuma nodded in agreement. "Yeah but the carpet's the kind that cleans up easy and leather cleans ok if you're quick. Besides, Subaru's uncommonly neat." Fuuma paused, looking around a moment until his eyes fell on the wall and a spark of excitement lit in them. "I noticed you found the window-wall. It's awesome, ain't it? But check this out."

Fuuma placed his palm flat against the wall, revealing a small panel that moved aside when he touched it. Behind the panel was a single button which he then pressed.

A section of the center floor moved aside, revealing a perfect view of the clouds beneath them. A collective gasp rose from the group as Syaoran leaned over in his chair to watch with awe-wide eyes. Fuuma crossed the new "window" to press the button near Fai and another like it revealing large windows on either side of the aircraft. Sakura knelt on the floor, peering down into the clouds with wonder. Even Fai was watching with the look a child might have seeing a hundred foot Christmas tree light up the night.

"It's like we're flying without the airplane!" Mokona cried. "Fuuma is amazing!"

Yes, Kurogane decided, he _hated_ Fuuma.

"Syaoran." Sakura called, holding her hands out to him.

Syaoran accepted her hand and stood with her, watching her as she held one arm out from the center of the floor.

"Isn't it _amazing_?"

Syaoran nodded and, charmed, Fai joined them. Kurogane made the mistake of watching him as he bowed before Sakura and danced in a circle with her grinning widely. Sakura smiled back happily. Then Fai took a turn with Syaoran whose small smile was accompanied by a blush of red staining his cheeks. It was all very sweet and surreal, as if they were dancing on the clouds beneath them. It made Kurogane feel sick.

Fuuma pouted. "Don't I get a dance?" he asked but before Fai could reply, Mokona leapt onto the man's shoulder.

"Mokona will dance with Fuuma!" it declared.

Kurogane looked away, glad they didn't have a panel in the frickin' ceiling too.

oo

After the novelty had worn down a little, Fuuma conceded to closing the panels and took a seat in one of the armchairs, vacated by Sakura who was now sitting on the couch next to Fai. Mokona had taken up a perch on Fuuma's head as the man finally began the dialogue that held some interest for Kurogane.

"I'm sure you've all got some questions. You must feel like you're mostly in the dark when it comes to Subaru and the Feather Society. I know that hologram in the bank doesn't explain much…pertaining to what you're doing now. It's really just meant as an induction into the society. Maybe I can explain a few things."

"Let's start with where we're going." Kurogane suggested.

"Italy." Fuuma answered. "The Venetian countryside to be specific; where Subaru's mansion, the headquarters for the Society of the Feather, is located. The society has had several leaders, and been based in random places all across the globe. Subaru came to the society as a child and took the head position pretty young. He made his fortune young too but none of it has gone unearned. Subaru is smart and he works hard, both for penna and in the business world."

"What kind of business is he invested in?" Fai asked, pulling Fuuma's attention.

"He owns Medi-Tec Labs." Fuuma answered. "You might have heard of it. They make everything from surgical robotics to stasis chambers and prosthetics."

"So what are you?" Kurogane asked. "Errand boy to Subaru-the-all-powerful?"

Fuuma grinned, scratching the side of his face. "Something like that. … I know that Subaru wants to give you the details on the feather's current whereabouts himself but I can tell you at least that it's in sight."

"Convenient that it's in sight now." Kurogane muttered. "Where the heck was it ten years ago? How about twenty?" Kurogane leaned forward and Fuuma leaned back. "Just how long has this _feather society_ been employing people to search for this thing?"

"Maybe…it's better if Subaru answers those questions." Fuuma responded. "I'm really just the errand boy, you know."

"Kurogane-san," Sakura asked, leaning forward to see him around Fai "my feather hasn't caused…problems for you…has it?"

Kurogane looked away. She was just so innocent and naive. He couldn't see how she'd been getting by traveling like they were. "No."

"It's been a really good thing for us, Sakura-chan." Fai said, smiling down at her convincingly. "If Kuro-kun's mama wasn't a part of your feather's society, we wouldn't have gotten to meet."

That's right, Kurogane reflected. If these children hadn't come to their world, then he never would have gone to America. He would never have met Fai at all and Fai…Fai might have found someone else to take him to that cliff on the California coast. What would his life have been like if he'd never known Fai? Would _anyone _have ever been so important to him? He would have lived his life the way he'd always envisioned before he'd read his mother's letter; simple and empty.

"I know Subaru will probably want you to repeat it," Fuuma was saying to the travelers, Kurogane barely hearing him, "but if you don't mind it, I'd love to hear about all the other worlds you've traveled to before now."

For the next few hours, Kurogane listened to the children and Mokona - mostly Mokona - recount their adventures. It was elaborately embellished in places, Kurogane was sure, Mokona seemed to have a flair for the dramatic; still, it was likely the little creature's story telling that kept him riveted. Some parts he'd heard already, others were new or extended for the sake of the request. It was strange hearing a story in which you were the main character…and yet know that much of it was a true story about someone else.

The children had come from a desert country and after the princess's memories had been scattered, they had traveled to the dimension witch's shop, the woman Yuuko whom Kurogane sincerely pitied his other self for having to deal with, and were given Mokona in order to continue their travels. Fai - _their Fai_ - had come from a winter country, a fugitive of some sort, wishing only to never return there, and their Kurogane had come from Japan, ancient Japan, where he had been in the service of a princess and wished only to go back.

After the story, they were all served lunch and Fai took a nap, leaning against Kurogane's shoulder on the couch. Fuuma agreed to take Syaoran into the cockpit to talk about the airplane and teach him a little about the technology behind it. Sakura settled in one of the armchairs opposite Kurogane and seemed content to hold Mokona while it slept in her arms.

After a long silence, Sakura spoke to him, her voice soft and gentle. "Fai-san seems to be very happy in this world."

Kurogane didn't reply. He looked down at Fai and wondered about that. Was that how he looked to her?

"And you too, Kurogane-san." she continued. "I'm glad. I think that our Fai-san…I think that Fai-san holds painful secrets. Please don't tell anyone I said so. I worry about him. I wish that he were really happy." She looked at the lap of her dress, troubled. "We're all very much alone, even when we're together because of all the distance…It's the same for me. I hope that when I find all of my feathers, it won't seem that way and the distance between Syaoran-kun and myself won't feel like secrets anymore."

Kurogane knew he probably should speak, should say something, but didn't know what she needed to hear, didn't know her that well, so he remained silent and Sakura sat across from him, a wistful look on her face until she, too, fell asleep in the chair.

"Mm, Kuro-rin…" Fai mumbled from his shoulder.

Kurogane didn't move but spared him a glance.

"I love you."

Fai repositioned himself, lying his head on Kurogane's leg and fell back to sleep. Kurogane let him, let the soft words be absorbed in the silence, laying a hand atop Fai's hair lightly, stroking it once and contemplating the way the strands felt beneath his hand. Who would have thought that someone like Fai could bring a man like him contentment.

-ooo-

Kurogane _hated_ flying; hated the hours and hours of sitting on your ass with absolutely nothing to do, hated being in a room full of people that thought the neatest thing on the face of the earth was watching the clouds go by under their feet, and hated landing after 3AM and feeling like it should have been evening. If he ever had to set foot on an aircraft again in this life it would be too soon…but he had a good feeling he could look forward to another flight right back to the states. He had left his car there, after all.

The only _good_ thing about this trip, Kurogane figured, was that now he had someone to blame for it.

"Welcome to my home! My name is Subaru!"

_Subaru_ had answered the door himself, the door of his enormous mansion, flanked by hundreds of acres of no doubt beautiful farmland and vineyards - it was hard to tell in the dark. The path to his house was paved by pale red stones and lined with shaped shrubbery and pathway lights. Altogether impressive, if Kurogane hadn't still been a little miffed over their landing. Landing was not Fuuma's strong suit.

Subaru himself was just as Kurogane had seen him in his hologram and standing beside him was the maid they had spoken to on the phone. She bowed and invited them inside and they all filed past one by one.

"Please, think of this as your home while you're here." Subaru offered.

"Mokona could get used to _this_." the creature declared, twirling around on top of Fuuma's head to see the whole of the area they were in.

Subaru led them through to an enormous sitting room. "Would you like some tea? I know you must be tired from the flight. I have rooms prepared for you but if you'll permit me, I'd like to show you something first."

"Ah…Subaru-san?" Sakura asked and Subaru paused, turning back to address her. "Is it really true that Sorata-san and Arashi-san are gone?"

Subaru's smile was gentle and comforting. "Come."

The group followed Subaru down a short hallway to a spacious office. The walls were lined with bookcases and at the far end, backed by a large curtained window was a polished oak desk littered with paperwork and various electronic devises. Fuuma closed the door softly behind them.

"As you know, Sorata and Arashi were the original founders of the Society of the Feather, also known as penna, which just means feather in Latin." As he spoke, Subaru made his way to one of the bookcases to their right.

"Sorata was overly fond of playing the part of the secret hero." Subaru moved a few books aside and uncovered a hidden panel behind them, which he pressed his palm to. A scanner flashed a faint blue and the entire case clicked, like a door unlocking. "Originally, he had organized several families whom he trusted and formed a round table of sorts, with each person's last name on the chair backs. It was juvenilely impressive. Of course, it's been several years since we've met that way, since the time of my predecessor, in fact. It's more of a novelty now than anything."

Subaru pushed against the bookcase, revealing a well-lit hallway and proceeded down it. They traveled a short way before Subaru stopped and pushed open a door on their right. The room immediately lit, revealing a large oval table surrounded by high-backed wooden chairs. Large paintings were showcased on the walls around the room.

"I suppose you could say that this was Sorata's vision." Subaru said, looking around the room himself. "This particular version has never been used although the chairs and paintings have been passed down from site to site. I come here to think, mostly. Over there," and Subaru pointed across the room to a painting of a man and woman. Kurogane recognized the man as Sorata from his hologram. "those are Sorata and Arashi and next to them is the second head, Minoru…"

"Isn't that…?" Syaoran turned from the painting, wherein a young man was seated in a high-backed, upholstered chair flanked by a young woman who bore a striking resemblance to the maid standing among them and back to her.

"A likeness." Subaru answered. "Minoru was largely responsible for the invention of the modern persocom. During his time, Japan was facing a rapidly declining population and a steep increase in the elderly. Care units had been developed, mechanics used to fill the positions of the blue-collar working class and the caretakers. They were widely used in hospitals and care facilities. Minoru and his technicians are credited with adapting that technology into computers with fully developed AI systems. Persocoms were viewed positively in some places, negatively in others. Eventually, they became a novelty of the rich but it is said that Minoru built them solely to create _her_. Her name was Yuzuki and when Minoru passed away, Yuzuki made the decision to be shut down and cremated with him. Yuzu, here, was based off of Yuzuki."

Yuzu bowed in response to the attention.

"She's a…persocom?" Kurogane asked. He'd heard of them, sure, but she looked so…human.

"I am." Yuzu answered and reached up, sweeping back her hair to reveal an access panel at the base of her hairline.

Subaru showed them to a case where a photo of Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona lay beneath the glass. They were dressed in sweeping fantasy clothes and Kurogane thought that if _that _was their normal state of dress, they would have been far better off to go around looking like they were headed to a convention than wearing those color-blind monstrosities that Sorata had provided them with.

On each side of the picture was a rudimentary drawing, done in chibi and colored in crayon, one vaguely resembling Fai with a long fur-lined coat, carrying a tall staff and the other vaguely resembling himself, wearing a black cloak and some kind of red thing covering his forehead. There was a long sword in his hand and a snarl on his face.

When Mokona came around and looked in the case, it squealed with delight. "Mokona remembers drawing those! Look Subaru, it's a perfect likeness!"

"I hope you weren't actually _using_ those to find those guys." Kurogane complained. "The only person who could ever find anything with that sort of artwork is another five-year-old…and even then they would have to be under-accomplished."

Mokona turned to him with an angry face, its cheeks red and chest puffed indignantly. "Don't insult Mokona's drawings! The only thing Mokona missed is the devil horns on Kuro-grump's head!"

"Why you!" Kurogane growled back, lunging for the puff ball but it was already out of reach, bouncing away on the backs of the chairs. Four chairs away, it turned and looked back, blowing him a raspberry.

Kurogane shoved Syaoran and Fuuma out of his way as he ran after the creature. About halfway around the table, Mokona jumped to the other side and Kurogane missed again as he lunged over one of the chairs. But as he pulled away, he saw the name carved into the back of the chair he'd leaned over. It read SUWA. _His _name. Had his mother sat here, in this chair, searching the world for that girl's lost memory?

"Your father sat in that chair." Subaru said. When he had come to stand beside him, Kurogane didn't know.

"My _father_?"

Subaru nodded. "Until he died, your father was a prominent member in the society. He met your mother while investigating a lead to the feather. It's the society's own little word-of-mouth love story. I never met him personally. I didn't join until afterward, but everything I've heard was impressive. I'll see if maybe I can find some footage of him for you."

Subaru wandered away and Kurogane traced his fingers over the letters. His _father_. Kurogane had been a child when his father died. He tried not to think of him much but he knew how much his mother had loved him.

"This wasn't really what you needed to see." Subaru said and Kurogane looked up to find him by the door.

They all filed out of the room, which Fuuma neglected to close behind them, and crossed the hall to another door.

This room was much more modernized and generally resembled the first room they'd gone to; a private office. Behind the large oaken desk was a line of bookshelves and across from the desk along the opposite wall was a large leather sofa. Instead of a window, a full-wall screen took up the wall to their right.

"The job of the Society of the Feather is to locate the fragment of Princess Sakura's memory in this world." Subaru said, picking up a remote from the desk. "Even Sorata knew when he undertook this task, that without Mokona's ability to track the feather, we as humans had little chance of finding it. But, even though we were unable to track the feather itself, over the years, we were able to isolate where it had been."

Images began to flash across the screen; muted news reports that seemed a jumble of random events.

"We learned that the feather had the ability to grant whoever possessed it the one thing that person desired most, one _wish_, if you will. Over the years it had passed hands many times, sometimes being held by individuals with harmful agendas, sometimes good.

We now surmise that the feather's power has been used to instigate the mudslide that destroyed this village," The images on the screen followed him as he continued. "the eruption of this sleeping volcano that buried a major city, the destruction of this power plant, the seemingly random deaths of this entire government agency in America, the creation of the cure for the super virus VU90, the cessation of the second Korean war due to this vision witnessed by thousands on the battlefield, the three day rainfall that saved this drought-ravaged valley, and several other smaller events.

It became much easier for us to track the feather by isolating the effects of its power and there have even been spans of time when the society knew its location but allowed it to remain in the hands of people who were using it for good purposes. Along the way we learned that the feather's power will only work to grant the user's deepest single desire so to take it at that time would have been a waste of its potential benefit. All of this was decided by my predecessor who did not bring into calculation the chance that we might lose sight of it once those purposes were fulfilled.

Between that person's time as head and my own, the feather was lost entirely. It took nearly a year and a half for me to realize that it had been all that time located on that idiotic orbiting hotel." Subaru was obviously irritated as he brought up the image of the space station where commercial flights took visitors into orbit to stay at the high-priced hotel on board.

"By then, the former possessor had passed away and the feather had been sold at an estate sale back on earth. One use later I was finally able to locate the feather in the hands of a shady business tycoon who'll be putting it up at a closed auction at this hotel in Russia, in one week's time." Footage of a fancy hotel played on the screen.

"I've already sent my brother there to keep an eye on things. I was able to…pull some strings and get my hands on one of the auction tickets. I'll be attending the auction, bidding for the feather but, on the chance that I can't win it myself, then my brother will take it from behind the scenes. There were…a lot of variables involved and a lot of things that could go wrong but now that you're all here…"

Subaru hesitated, turning back to them; and to Sakura in particular. "Princess Sakura, I know that you are able to take the feather into your body. I would like to ask you to go along with me. You'll remain with Fuuma in the jet, you should be safe there, but that way, if anything should happen to my brother or myself, then at least we can ensure that the feather will no longer exist in this world."

"Of course I will." Sakura agreed, sincerely, hands clasped together at her chest. "I'm so sorry that my feather has done such horrible things and troubled you for so long. What you ask is the very least that I can do."

"But Sakura…" Mokona hopped to Subaru's shoulder, facing Sakura with a worried look. "Mokona can suck the feather up for you. So Mokona will go instead!"

Sakura smiled gratefully and shook her head. "But it's _my_ responsibility."

"I'll go too." Syaoran announced, stepping forward with determination. "I can help your brother steal the feather if it comes to that."

"I certainly appreciate the help." Subaru said, smiling back at him. "But I can't speak so well for my brother…" he added a bit nervously. "At any rate, we have several days to plan the operation and coordinate things on his end. I'd love to talk with you if you're up to it but you're welcome to get some rest or, if you aren't tired, you can ask cook for anything you'd like from the kitchen. Kamui, my brother, will report in at 10AM on schedule. I'd like to ask you all to be back here then and we can get things moving along."

That's what Kurogane liked; someone who wasted little time and got straight down to business. He could respect Subaru. The other man hadn't yet asked his position. It didn't seem that he expected Kurogane to do anything, nor did he exclude him. It gave Kurogane the needed time to consider his options. He didn't like being pushed into things. He liked to have the opportunity to say no, if he wanted to.

Fai hadn't voiced his opinion yet either. It seemed odd for Fai not to jump on board at the first opportunity but…maybe he was just being smart about it. They didn't really have a place in Subaru's plan. What would they do? It didn't make sense to go along just for the sake of going.

Still, Kurogane did not consider it a wasted trip. He had learned some things about his parents and he hoped to learn more before he returned to America.

It was only a few short hours until Subaru's brother was scheduled to call in. Kurogane wasn't going to bother going to bed in the meantime. He made his way to Subaru, who was busy telling Syaoran that Yuzu would show them to the rooms he had prepared. He waited until they'd gone and he had the shorter man's attention.

"Think you could find that footage for me?"

Subaru blinked, his brain taking a short second to remember what he was talking about and nodded. "Of course."

oo

Kurogane stayed there in the office with Subaru, searching through computer discs and files from years past. Fai wandered off, silently slipping away while Kurogane was otherwise occupied. When he'd noticed Fai was gone, Kurogane paused a moment, the chatter of a society meeting from years past playing on like noise from the computer in front of him, but quickly returned his attention to the screen.

He remembered living with his mother. Whenever she had left him, she'd always said something, even if they'd been watching a movie together and she'd gotten up. "I'll be right back." He'd never thought about it before but he'd done it too, out of habit. It was nothing, really. A little nothing ritual. Another thing that Fai did not have. Another way they were different. He wasn't asking Fai for anything, didn't expect anything from him, didn't know anything beyond right now and didn't think about any timeframe beyond today. But that had been Fai's entire life, hadn't it? Maybe Fai deserved to have more than that from him, if he really intended to…

"Suwa!"

Kurogane looked back to the screen and, finding it blank, followed the sound to the big screen on the wall. There was footage playing that had obviously taken place during one of the society's meetings. The group of people was gathered around a table like the one he had seen in the other room, maybe even the same table.

"I found it." Subaru said, noticing Kurogane's attention had drifted to the screen.

"Oh, lighten up Geo!" The camera panned into a man who looked much like Kurogane. His hair was long and black, tied into a ponytail behind him and sitting on the table in front of him was a baby with a small mess of black hair, waving its arms at him. The man, his father, was laughing, playing with him. "You stress too much! Don't worry, Youou-chan won't tell anyone you were here." The man put a finger over his lips, shushing the baby in front of him and the baby reached out for his finger. The camera panned out to reveal a woman sitting next to them, his mother, smiling secretly at the banter.

"Everything before this date should have your father on it." Subaru said, quietly, slipping past Kurogane and out the door, leaving him alone.

Kurogane looked back to the screen where his mother had reached over to ruffle his hair, her smile exactly as he always remembered it, and felt strangely like crying.

-ooo-

There were no windows in Subaru's secret office, so Kurogane had virtually no sense of time there, not that he would have noticed the time passing. When the room began to fill with people again, just as Kurogane was filing things away where they'd come from, he figured it had to be around 10 o'clock.

Fai wandered in with the others, just as quietly as he'd left. He came to stand beside Kurogane as the others gathered.

"Did you see your father?"

Kurogane looked over and Fai offered him a small smile. He nodded and received an awkward nod in return.

Subaru was the last to enter, accompanied by a young woman. Her hands were layered together over the skirt of her deep purple dress, her back straight and chin level, every bit the proper social lady. She scanned the room as Subaru turned to introduce her, her long ebony braid barely moving at her back, and the moment her eyes fell on Sakura the image shattered like a child flying through a pane of colored glass.

"This is…"

"You must be Princess Sakura!" the girl squealed, her eyes practically sparkling as she swept up to the startled princess, taking her hands excitedly. "You're really so much more adorable when you're awake. Oh! Pardon me! I'm Tomoyo Daidouji, head of the Daidouji clothing industry. I would be honored if you'd allow me to design the outfit you'll be wearing on your mission."

"A…alright." Sakura agreed, blushing as she looked down at her hands, clasped in Tomoyo's.

Kurogane wanted to ask if _this_ was the "Tomoyo" to whom his other self was attached but Syaoran was standing too far away to ask it without drawing the girl's attention and Kurogane wasn't sure he wanted to do that. He tried to imagine a version of himself kneeling before some other version of the girl fangirling over Sakura but the image just wouldn't come.

He shook his head and watched Subaru instead as he crossed the room and picked up a remote from his desk, turning his wrist to see the time on the watch he was wearing.

He didn't have to wait long. A single ring drew everyone's attention to the wall screen where Subaru directed the call and the image of a thin, darkly dressed man appeared. He was young, around Subaru's age with black hair and serious violet eyes. He looked like the special operative that Subaru was using him for, dressed in a tight black turtleneck. The room behind him was obviously a cheap hotel room, the drab, peeling paint on the wall behind him, the color of creamed peas, was testament enough to that.

"How are things, Kamui?" Subaru asked.

"Have you gathered everyone?" Kamui asked in return and Subaru nodded.

"Yes. The travelers are here. They've agreed to help us obtain the feather. Syaoran's offered to help you on your end, too. I think it's a good idea."

"Subaru, they've moved the auction up. It's tomorrow night. I think they know that someone's after the feather. Get them together as fast as you can. I've sent the latest information to you but it isn't anything groundbreaking."

"Kamui."

If Subaru had not stolen the tiny pause generated when Kamui stopped to breathe, it seemed likely to Kurogane that he wouldn't have gotten another chance to speak at all.

The other man waited but in the end, all that Subaru said was "Be careful."

Kamui nodded; once, sharply. "I'll contact you again when everything is in place. Kamui out."

And the screen went blank.

Subaru heaved a sigh and when he seemed to remember that there were other people around him, he turned, giving them all a sad, distant smile. "I'm sorry. I'll be very glad when all this is over."

No one said anything, so Subaru moved to one of the computers and accessed a file, showing them all on the big screen. "It seems we've just run out of time. Shall we get started, then?"

Syaoran offered an agreement and footage began playing on the screen.

"We've compiled data on every person attending the auction for Princess Sakura's feather. There will be 42 attendees in all with each person being allowed to bring one optional guest. Make no mistake, this guest is a guard and despite the hotel's many security measures, each and every one of them will be armed and most definitely dangerous. According to the black book of criminal organizations, every person attending this auction is a serious contender for winning the feather, but that isn't really so. I'm only going to go over the few most likely to pose an actual threat. Please don't take that to mean that everyone else should be overlooked."

Subaru moved the imagery along from a crowd shot of the hotel to a still photo of a man with dark hair who appeared to be in his mid thirties.

"Kazuto Okiura is the leader of a small faction of Japan's Yakuza. He's a suave and pleasant man upon meeting but he's smart and he's a master at the art of manipulation. If you run into him, Syaoran, don't speak to him for long." Next to Okiura's picture, Subaru brought up the image of a much younger man. His hair was long, tied into a ponytail, and looked like a red dye job had gone awry, giving his hair an almost pink color. "Okiura has brought Kiyokazu Fujimoto with him. Fujimoto has no prior criminal record and no visible ties to the Yakuza. It's likely that Okiura is controlling him somehow but regardless of the situation, the man to watch is Fujimoto. If Okiura has him, he has him good and Fujimoto will likely do whatever he asks."

Those images disappeared, replaced by the photo of a richly dressed middle aged woman with long black hair on the arm of a much younger man.

"The Lady Shashi from India is a power-mad individual with delusions of grandeur. She doesn't take kindly to not getting her own way. She'll bid for the feather until every last cent under her servant's sofa is accounted for, then she'll throw in the servants. She brings her son with her, shown there in the photo. His name is Tennou. He doesn't really seem to share in all of her poor qualities but he _is_ her son. You can almost expect Lady Shashi to cause some sort of trouble."

This image was replaced again, this time with the photo of a group of militants.

"The man in front there," Subaru said, pointing out the smiling individual with short-cropped tawny hair "is called Bols. He's the leader of a small army who's currently trying to carve out a country in the middle east. He's insane. If you see him, it's best to turn and run the other way. It's said that he obsesses over one thing after another until he's had his fill of it. He'd use the feather to create that country he wants, unless he finds something he likes better at the auction…"

The photo disappeared and Subaru brought up the image of a very elegant woman, sitting in an elaborate high-backed chair. Standing behind her was a silver haired man, just as elegant. They were truly a beautiful pair.

"The Lady Sue-Ro will be coming from Korea. Standing with her there is An Chon, her financial advisor. Sue-Ro has nearly monopolized the pharmaceutical market in Korea, making her the richest individual in that country. Of course, this has also made health care in Korea nearly non-existent in recent years. Her greed has brought her after the feather. She'll be reluctant at the start of the bidding, no doubt, but I suspect the allure of power and wealth will encourage her fast enough."

Their image went down and was replaced again. Kurogane heard a small sharp intake of breath next to him and looked over to find Fai had gone rigid, staring in what Kurogane could only describe as horror at the new photo on the big screen. He looked back. The first image was of an older man; somewhere in his fifties or sixties, if Kurogane had to guess. His black hair was streaked with gray and next to that photo was the image of a skinny man with spectacles. He appeared to be in his thirties, his long black hair tied behind him. Kurogane pulled his eyes away from the screen to find Fai's bangs hid his eyes from view but his fists were clenched tightly at his sides, shaking a little.

"Fei Wong Reed owns several legal and illegal operations in the United States and South America, more than we could even track down probably. Of all the bidders, he's probably the most driven and experienced. He's been expanding operations for years and with bank accounts all across the globe, he could easily have much more than we know of. We don't know where it all came from, but we think he may be the one with the greatest shot of winning the feather."

"I know where he got it." Fai whispered and from his closed fist, a single drop of blood fell silently to the carpet below, he probably didn't even know. Kurogane felt a swell of anger.

"Give it to me."

Everyone turned to look at Kurogane but his eyes were on Subaru. "Give me the ticket. I'll bid in your place."

He heard Fai gasp beside him, but Kurogane had made up his mind.

"But…" Subaru protested, unsure of what to say.

"I'm a part of this damn society, aren't I?" Kurogane demanded.

"Yes, but…"

"Then this sort of thing is the job of the members, not the head."

Subaru looked like he was going to say something but Fai appeared in Kurogane's line of sight once more and spoke first. "I'll go too." His tone was firm and resolute and Kurogane wasn't about to tell him to back down. His head was held high, his eyes hard and determined.

Finally Subaru nodded. He seemed to sense that they had reasons beyond his understanding. "Tomoyo," he said, "do you think you can come up with something for them to wear?"

Kurogane made the mistake of following Subaru's gaze and saw Tomoyo's eyes widen in delight at the request. She practically _sparkled_ with happiness. "Of course, Subaru-kun! Yuzu," she said, turning to the maid, standing at the door, "if you'd help me, I'm sure we could have outfits ready for everyone by the deadline!"

Yuzu nodded with a warm smile. "Of course, miss."

Subaru nodded back. "Alright then, Fuuma, would you please raid the armory for our guests?"

Fuuma nodded wordlessly and left to fulfill the request.

"Let's take care of this first, so you don't get blood on the fabric." Kurogane looked down to find Tomoyo with Fai's hand between hers. He hadn't even seen her cross the room. Her eyes were closed; her smile seemed to say to him, 'there's no need to lie to me' and Kurogane found himself staring in wonder at it.

-ooo-

Tomoyo took them to another room to take their measurements for the clothes she was making. Fai told her that he didn't want to be recognized by some of the attendees at the auction so she decided it would be best to make him a dress instead of a suit, that way she could add a veil to it for effect. She never asked him why. She was very quick and efficient, every bit the professional, but she also forced them to promise to let her make more suiting clothes for them at a later date.

Kurogane didn't like fussing over himself or his clothing choice but she seemed to have a way of making him agree to whatever she wanted before he knew what he was even agreeing to. It was rather disconcerting but it amused Fai to no end. Kurogane decided to avoid Tomoyo after this auction was over at all costs.

After an hour of sketches and choosing fabrics and listening to Tomoyo gushing over Fai's _gorgeous_ features, the seamstress left to skip off to Sakura's side to design an outfit for her next; an outfit that, as far as Kurogane knew, was only going to be seen by the people here as Sakura wasn't planning on leaving the jet in Russia…but maybe the fact that _Tomoyo_ was going to see it was the point entirely.

Kurogane rubbed his temples, fighting off a headache.

"You don't have to go." Fai said, playing with some of the fabric swatches that Tomoyo had left behind to distract himself. It didn't seem to work very well. "This is something _I_ need to do."

"_What_ exactly do you need to do?" Kurogane figured he would ask, since they were on the subject.

"…I don't know." Fai's voice was small but no less set in his decision.

Kurogane crossed the floor to him and took the blonde's forearm, turning the other to face him. "Some people aren't content to just protect the people close to them. They feel the need to fight for everyone's justice, everyone's protection, everyone's safety. But I couldn't give a shit about the rest of the world. That's not me. I can be content to do something for just the people I can hold in my own two arms."

Kurogane pulled Fai forward into his arms despite the blonde's wide-eyed gasp.

"Don't mistake me. I'm not out to _protect_ you. I know it's far too late for that. And I'm not righteous enough to say that I'll avenge you either. But I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. And as long as you're here, as long as I can hold you in my arms, I will accept everything that you are and have and need."

Fai curled his fingers, fisting his hands in Kurogane's shirtfront and letting his forehead rest against the chest in front of him.

"Kuro-tan's always so serious." he muttered. "You hand out responsibility like it's candy…or drugs… Do you want me to like it or get hooked?"

Fai sighed and Kurogane frowned. "Do you want it or not?"

"Oh yes." Fai muttered languidly. After a moment, he looked up, meeting Kurogane's eyes. "But won't _you _find it heavy…after a while?"

"It's supposed to be heavy stupid." Kurogane muttered back, leaning down to kiss the other. "Heavy's not the same as being a burden." he added, when they'd parted. "I would never have offered if it was that."

Fai's eyes shimmered a little with tears held back by an amused smile. "How perfectly honest. You know, I worry about Kuro-min having to mingle amongst all those criminals. The only way we'll ever get away with it is if they see that tough-doggy act you put up and actually believe it."

Kurogane scowled and shoved the idiot away. "I can lie if I have to."

"Can you?" Fai raised an eyebrow in mock disbelief, at least, Kurogane liked to think Fai was mocking him.

Kurogane had never actually lied before in his entire life. He'd never had a reason to. Whenever his mother had asked him if he'd eaten cookies before dinner, he'd always confessed.

"I can keep my mouth shut." he muttered. It was a little disappointing to even doubt his _own_ ability, but if it did come to that, they couldn't take any chances.

Fai laughed and he continued to laugh as he made his way to the door. "Come on, I'm starving." he noted between bouts of laughter.

Kurogane cuffed him upside the head on his way past. "Shut up."

oo

They spent the remainder of the day in relative calm. Everyone else seemed to be preparing for the operation in their own way: Subaru spent the day with Syaoran, detailing Kamui's plan of attack, Tomoyo kept Sakura occupied, Fuuma spent the day running errands. Kurogane wandered the mansion and its closer surrounding grounds, Fai contentedly following beside.

He wasn't worried or apprehensive about what they were planning to do. Maybe his lack of concern was simply due to the fact that it hadn't fully set in yet, Kurogane thought. The entire situation was so _surreal_. They were going to be mingling with a room full of criminals while a dimension-hopping teenager helped a secret operative from a secret society steal a magical feather. Sure. Then they would be making their escape via private jet. No problem.

Kurogane was the type of person who wouldn't believe he'd won twenty bucks from a lottery ticket until he was holding the money.

Standing next to him, overlooking the mansion's gardens from a quiet balcony, Fai remained silent, leaving him to his thoughts or lost to his own, Kurogane didn't know, but he found he rather appreciated the other's presence just the same.

oo

Everyone gathered for dinner that night. Tomoyo talked excitedly about the progress she'd made during the day on each of their outfits. She made a point to offer Fai a modeling job with her company which he was quick to decline but it didn't seem to phase her. She simply stated that she would give him her number to call when he was ready. Tomoyo had the confidence of a leopard mingling with housecats. It was awe inspiring and frightening at the same time.

oo

After dinner, Syaoran asked for a word with Kurogane so the elder man led the teen - and accompanying Mokona - to the back gardens he had overlooked with Fai.

"I bet Kuro-puu's a little scared about stealing the feather." Mokona whispered dramatically.

"I'm not the delicacy." Kurogane returned levelly but he couldn't keep the grin from his lips as he added. "I hear rabbit fur is big in Russia right now."

"Mokona isn't a _**rabbit**_!" it cried back, waving its tiny arms at him.

Kurogane chuckled.

"We thought that since you know kendo too," Syaoran said, stopping and taking Mokona down from his shoulder, "that you might be more comfortable with a sword than the weapons that Subaru has for us."

Mokona opened its mouth wide and a ball of light came out, settling in Syaoran's free hand and taking form as a sword.

"It's Kurogane-san's sword but I know that he would approve of your using it, since it's for the feather's sake. Its name is Souhi." Syaoran offered, holding the sword out for Kurogane, head bowed respectfully.

"Blue ice." Kurogane translated distractedly, taking the sword carefully in his hands. It was a long sword and as he pulled it from its sheath, he tried to imagine a life built around such a sword. It was a different life, not his own, but he couldn't help but long for it just the same. He wondered at the name, at the soul of it, and had to wonder if this too was hitsuzen as that woman Yuuko had said, if this sword existed in order for another him to defend another Fai. Blue ice…

Kurogane resheathed the sword and handed it back to the boy. "Thank you, but I'll make do in my own way." Such thoughts were too heavy to carry at his side on loan.

-ooo-

Fai had disappeared somewhere and Kurogane wasn't about to hunt for him. Eventually, he considered it a decent hour to go to bed and sought out the rooms that Subaru had opened for them. It wasn't that he was tired, per se, but Kurogane realized that his sleep had been suffering and he would need the rest for the next day. He tried not to think of the auction or the feather or the men who would be there to claim it as he lay atop the coverlet of the large bed in his assigned room. He tried not to think but he would be damned if he left that auction without rearranging that bastard Reed or his flunkie's face. He wasn't going to do it for Fai. He was going to do it for his own satisfaction.

Kurogane took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The parted curtains let in the silver moon's light, creating a wide strip of light across the carpeted floor. The room around him was silent, filled only with the sound of his own breathing, not even the tick of a clock disturbed the stillness. He should have been tired but he couldn't stay still.

Kurogane got out of bed and left his room, wandering down the hallway. He had no idea where he was going.

Ahead of him, rounding a corner, Kurogane caught sight of Fai. Fai seemed to notice him in the same instant and the two continued on their way, meeting half-way between. Neither spoke but as Kurogane reached out, combing his fingers through Fai's soft hair, Fai's arms came up to thread themselves behind his neck.

Kurogane couldn't pinpoint the source of the passion that welled up in him like a tiny flame doused in gasoline. Perhaps a dam had broken, cracked by the pressure of their upcoming mission or chipped away at time and again by Fai's continual flirting and … presence. Whatever the reason, as he held Fai close to him, Kurogane wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them; a distance that existed only by the remnants of invisible walls that he had already smashed his way through.

They found their way back to the bedroom door he'd left ajar and Kurogane reached out to throw it open. One arm held Fai at the small of his back while the other swung the door shut behind them and then his back was against it, the weight of himself and Fai pressing against it latching the door with a loud bang.

Kurogane gasped for air.

"I took a shower." Fai breathed, his lips grazing Kurogane's as he spoke, his voice husky. "A really, _really good _shower. … I thought about you."

Kurogane continued his assault, Fai's words barely registering above the feeling of his lips fluttering against his mouth and the sound of his voice. A low noise escaped his throat at the chill feeling of thin fingers grazing his sides.

"Make love to me." Fai requested in the next breath. "Don't ever let go."

Kurogane reached out for the blonde but Fai was already gone, dropped down with one arm shoving his shirt out of the way of the mouth wandering down his torso while fingers curled over the waist of his jeans. Kurogane reached down, fisting a hand in the fine blonde hair to tilt Fai's head up and bent down to kiss his mouth again.

It only distracted Fai for a moment and then Kurogane felt the hand slipping inside the front of his jeans. When Fai had unzipped them, he would never know.

While he was debating whether or not to let Fai have his own way, Fai was busy taking it for himself. Kurogane jerked when he felt the warm, moist lips slip over the head of his member. He tried to back up but he was already against the door.

"Stop it." he ground out, shoving Fai's head away. "Shit, not like that." At the pace Fai was going they wouldn't even make it to the bed.

"Kuro…" Fai's voice was strained and breathy.

"I already said I'm not going anywhere." Kurogane said, a little calmer now. "At least let me get my frickin' pants off." he added, shoving them down to the floor and pulling his shirt off, kicking the pile to the side carelessly. "You too, damnit. Get up here."

Fai obeyed and Kurogane reached down, pulling the shirt over Fai's head. He gave it a toss as he bent down to kiss the space between his slender neck and shoulder. Fai shivered, his shoulder rotated but he soon set his hands on Kurogane's shoulders and relaxed.

Kurogane reached around, splaying one large hand out at the center of Fai's back and sliding it up to the back of his shoulder, pulling him closer until Fai's bare chest pressed against his own.

"Kuro." Fai breathed, running his hands up into the dark spikes of Kurogane's hair as Kurogane made his way up the side of Fai's neck.

Kurogane reached between them to unbutton Fai's brightly colored jeans. Slipping his hand past the fabric to rest on Fai's hip, he found, instead of underwear, smooth, warm flesh and couldn't say he minded.

Fai moved around a little, pulling the pants down with his feet and kicked them away when they fell to the floor, then he seemed to think better of that and broke away to retrieve them.

From the pocket, Fai produced a small bottle of lubricant with an appropriate grin.

"Where the hell'd you get that?" Kurogane demanded.

"From Fuuma." Fai answered simply. "Don't worry, it isn't open yet."

Kurogane thought for a moment about protesting but changed his mind and crossed the room instead, pulling Fai with him to the bed.

"Kuro-tan is impressive." Fai said, sitting down on the bed and enjoying his eye-level view of Kurogane standing before him. Kurogane blushed slightly, looking away.

"Shut up."

Fai smiled and reached out for Kurogane's hand, pulling him down to sit as he slid off the bed and knelt between the larger man's knees. He leaned forward, the tip of his tongue darting out to lick at the head of the other man's growing erection. When Kurogane didn't protest, he swept forward, taking the entire length of it. Kurogane's mouth fell open, his eyes nearly rolling back at the sensation and the _sight_ of it.

Fai set an easy rhythm, bobbing his head up and down in the most erotic display Kurogane had ever seen in his life. He reached down, fisting his hands in the mop of blonde rising and falling between his legs, the long strands of Fai's hair falling against his thighs with every downward movement.

A moment later, he pulled away for air, a string of fluids stretching away with him, and rose up, dipping his tongue into Kurogane's open mouth, kissing him deeply and tasting faintly of what Kurogane supposed was the taste of sex. It made him want Fai even more and he wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist, lifting him around until he lay on the bed and Kurogane knelt over him.

Kurogane ran an open palm down Fai's torso, taking a moment to admire the sight before him before he leaned down, scrapping his tongue across one pert nipple as he reached between them, caressing the half-hard member nestled among a small patch of fine blonde hair. It seemed as though Fai were letting it grow after having not done so previously. Kurogane liked it better that way.

Fai gasped and Kurogane found he liked the sound so he scrapped his teeth across the nipple he'd wetted. Fai's back arched beneath him. Kurogane moved on to the other one, closing his hand around the slighter man's erection and pumping it steadily.

When he felt it pulse in his hand, Kurogane let it go and reached for the bottle lying on the bed next to them where Fai had sat it. He had to break the seal and when he flipped the cap back, a scent he didn't recognize filled the air. Fai took the bottle from him and squeezed a small amount into his hand, then he reached down and pumped Kurogane's erection with it a few times. There was something in it, maybe, Kurogane thought, because as soon as Fai's hands retreated he felt a wonton burning for them. He wiped the rest on the coverlet beneath them and took Kurogane's right hand, drawing the fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them.

Kurogane felt his face burn watching him.

Fai released his fingers but held onto his hand for a moment. "I've never done this before…without a condom." Fai confessed and if Kurogane didn't know any better, he might have thought there was a hint of nervousness there.

Kurogane kissed him, passionately slow, as he reached between Fai's legs, feeling for the place to press his fingers. He understood what Fai was giving him, the trust he was placing in him when trust was new to him. Kurogane found the tight ring of muscle and forced his index finger past it with little resistance. It didn't seem to discomfort Fai as he adjusted his legs around Kurogane and concentrated on kissing him.

Kurogane moved down and hesitated only a second before closing his mouth around the head of Fai's member, adding a second finger and moving them together in and out of him.

"You don't…" Fai started but Kurogane didn't want to hear it. With one hand he shoved Fai back to the mattress as he curled his tongue around the sensitive tip of the blonde's erection.

Fai made a keening noise somewhere between a moan and some sort of cry and Kurogane smirked. He wasn't even going to attempt to deep-throat Fai, and make a fool of himself when he choked on it but he could at least put his tongue to good use.

Fai gripped the blanket desperately and Kurogane wanted nothing more than to draw that reaction out but his own need was throbbing desperately, distracting him, so he pulled back and positioned himself at Fai's entrance, holding his leg up gently.

Fai tried to close the short distance, but whether he was encouraging Kurogane or merely trying to speed things up, Kurogane couldn't tell and didn't care. He pushed himself inside in one strong motion and Fai cried out, his back arching erotically.

It took a few thrusts to set a steady motion and a few more for Kurogane to find an angle he liked but he knew instantly when he'd found the right angle because on the forward motion he hit Fai's prostate and the blonde's eyes shot wide open, his head thrown back in a silent scream. Kurogane smirked and picked up the pace, making sure to hit it every time after that. The more he thrust forward the more he was driven.

Fai's hands gripped at the bedding, then reached out for the head board, then Kurogane's arms. He was fidgety, as if he didn't know what to do, so Kurogane took his hand and felt Fai's fingers thread between his own.

With every thrust, Fai's hips snapped up to meet him, setting a frenzied pace, controlled only by Kurogane's sturdy, deep thrusts. Noticing the pre-cum leaking onto Fai's stomach from his pulsing erection, Kurogane took hold of it, trying to pump him in time with his own thrusts but failing miserably.

Fai cried out at that too and came forcefully in Kurogane's hand, the walls surrounding Kurogane's own member spasming uncontrollably taking him over the edge and this time it was Kurogane who cried out as he emptied into the quivering body beneath him.

Heaving for air and spent, Kurogane had just the presence of mind to pull out of Fai before he collapsed beside him.

Fai was gasping too, his hair soaked with sweat and haloing his head on the blanket beneath him. He moved himself around as Kurogane rolled onto his back and lay against his side.

"That was amazing." Fai breathed in between gasps of air.

Kurogane almost laughed. He would die a slow and painful death before he ever told Fai that it had been his first time.

"Let's do it again." Fai suggested, rising over Kurogane and kissing his jaw playfully.

Kurogane pulled him in with a hand at the back of his head and kissed him deeply. "We need the sleep." he murmured but the truth was, he was falling asleep already. His lack of sleep was finally catching up to him.

Fai settled down again and kissed his chest. "Kuro-poi's not going anywhere." he answered in agreement.

"Mmm." Kurogane affirmed, his last conscious thought before slipping into comforting sleep, the solid warmth of Fai's form pressed to his side.

* * *

Following only Kurogane's point of view, we must see only what he sees and miss what he misses, but some of these things caught my attention anyway, so I'll share them with you here, as Omakes (extras).

Omake 1: Fuuma's Concern

"You never told me about this." Fuuma's accusatory tone only made Subaru turn away from him. "What sort of _strings_ did you have to pull?"

"Fuuma…" He understood where Fuuma was coming from. He did. But he couldn't let that affect his resolve. He'd already made the deal, after all. Fuuma's involvement would only complicate matters. Kamui's involvement…was a problem he simply couldn't afford to deal with. He couldn't bring Kamui into this. "I need _you_ to worry about Kamui. I'll handle the rest."

Omake 2: Afterward - Fai's Point of View

Fai knew that Kurogane was asleep, but he couldn't sleep. He'd never fallen asleep after sex before. After sex, Fai had always gotten up, cleaned himself up, and left. Falling asleep after sex was going to take some getting used to.

He sat up and looked down at Kurogane, watching him sleep. He _believed_ Kurogane when he said he wasn't going anywhere. Everything in him screamed against it and for it and made noise in his head he couldn't think above but somehow Kurogane made Fai believe in him. If Kurogane told him that someone was planning to blow up the United States, he'd probably buy himself a plane ticket right then and there.

Fai eventually took pity on Kurogane, knowing he would wake to a nasty mess if he didn't clean them now so he got up and cleaned them both. They were laying on the coverlet so he brought a sheet from the next empty bedroom to cover them with. He didn't dress himself. He stopped himself there. He lay naked next to Kurogane, just as he'd been when Kurogane had fallen asleep, partially for Kurogane's benefit and partially to find out what it was like to wake up naked next to someone else's body. He felt like he was placing something in Kurogane's hands by doing so and knew that it wouldn't be taken advantage of. It was kind of a giddy feeling, which threatened to keep him awake so he tried to clear his mind, tracing aimless patterns in the taught, tan skin of Kurogane's chest. It didn't wake him but he shifted in his sleep and wrapped his arm around him. Fai's heart fluttered. It was a sensation he had never felt before. It made him warm inside and twisted his stomach in pleasant ways.

After a long span of silence, Fai spoke, softly and with resolution, curling himself against Kurogane in his embrace.

"I really…_love_ him, Fai." he whispered. "And as long as he wants me, I'm going to stay with him. So please…wait a little while longer…"

Fai drifted off to sleep, inhaling Kurogane's scent and smiling.

* * *

Post whatevers:

A word on space hotels: not exactly a "thing of the future", currently a Barcelona-based firm called Galactic Suite Limited claims it will be the first to build a space hotel, opening its $3 billion Galactic Suite in 2012. The cost of a three-day stay: $4 million.

And a quick note on Kyle's age: obviously he is older than he looks

So just where the heck were all these people originally from, you ask? Minoru and Yuzuki come from Chobits, Geo was from Magic Knight Rayearth, Okiura and Fujimoto are from Kobato, Shashi and Tennou came from RG Veda, Bols from Clover, and Sue-Ro and An Chong from The Legend of Chung Hyang.

As always, if you liked, please review. Ja!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP.

Author's Note: I don't think I explained what happened to Syaoran and Sakura's Kurogane and Fai well enough. To hopefully clear that up...Mokona apparently hiccupped during transport and only Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona dropped out into this world. Kurogane and Fai are still waiting to enter it. It works like this: Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona arrived at point A on the timeline while at the same exact time, Kurogane and Fai arrive at point B, which happens to be at some later time. When Kurogane and Fai finally arrive, it will be as if absolutely no time at all has passed.

* * *

~ All That I Am ~

**Part 2, Chapter 3**

"The hotel security is programmed to search for energy signatures and sniff out chemical substances. It won't detect these." Subaru explained to Fai, handing him one of the small, black handguns he had brought from his personal collection. "I had hoped to have more time to teach you how to use it but if you _have_ to draw it, it should at least cause a panic, even if you don't hit your target." He proceeded to explain to Fai how to fire the mechanism.

"Hold still!" Tomoyo ordered and Kurogane averted his gaze to the young woman kneeling at his feet, stitching at the cuffs of his slacks.

She had been forced to finish her last-minute alterations en route, showing her impressive skill and drive. Taking the feather as her inspiration for Sakura's dress, as Sakura wouldn't be seen by the guests of the auction, Tomoyo had designed for her a pale pink and white dress with a petal in the front bearing the image of the feather.

Fai and Kurogane were dressed in black to discourage attention but, while she'd dressed Kurogane smartly in a simple but elegant suit, she had designed a black, lacy gown for Fai, accessorized by the black lacy veil that would cover his hair and face from view. Tomoyo had even gone so far as to change his gender while she was at it. The dress Fai was wearing came complete with figure and Tomoyo made a point to demonstrate that groping them would not be a problem in concealing their falsehood. A small pocket in his new "chest" gave him the perfect hiding place for the small pistol that Subaru was arming him with.

Kurogane once again tore his eyes away from Fai to wander the room. Syaoran was meditating nearby, sitting cross-legged on the floor, his sword lying across his lap. Sakura was watching Tomoyo interestedly from one of the armchairs. Mokona was hanging out with Fuuma in the cockpit.

Kamui had contacted them again that morning and explained what he wanted from Syaoran in greater detail…which wasn't much. He'd done all of the preliminary and set up work himself, had already done all of the scouting. What Kamui really wanted was just to do what he had gotten himself ready for and pretend that Syaoran wouldn't be following him around while he was doing it. He'd never complained at Subaru's request that Syaoran accompany him but he also made it clear that he wouldn't be needed.

Syaoran himself didn't seem to mind one way or the other. He seemed convinced that there was something he could do just by being there. Maybe he thought he was fulfilling some duty to the princess by merely making himself available to Kamui. And it was likely so, Kurogane decided. Even if Kamui could pull the entire thing off by himself, as he was obviously wont to do, he doubted they were getting in his way by flanking him.

"There." Tomoyo declared, standing.

"Thanks." Kurogane said and Tomoyo flashed him a bright grin.

"Just don't ruin it." she said, shaking her finger at him with every word.

Kurogane nodded, thinking of the amount of effort she put into it, then he remembered that she hadn't said a thing to Fai on the subject and frowned instead.

"Why are you telling only me?" he demanded to know but before Tomoyo could answer, Mokona's voice came over the P.A. system.

"We'll be landing in Russia within the hour, now. Your captain would like to thank you for flying Mokona Air!"

"Don't you dare tell me you're letting that weird little meat bun pilot this airplane!" Kurogane shouted back, shaking his fist in the direction of the cockpit.

He meant to go and make sure, but Fai swept into his path and held him back.

"I think Kuro-kun should take Mokona with him. They'll think Mokona is a computer and he may come in handy."

"There is no way I'm carrying that thing into a room full of yakuza and mafia members." Kurogane argued back, putting his foot down firmly on the subject. "I'm going to have enough trouble keeping an eye on _you_." he added, waving an indicative arm at Fai's _outfit_.

"All the more reason you should take Mokona." Fai returned. "So Kuro-tan can keep an eye on me and Mokona can keep an eye on Kuro-puu."

"I was counting on you for that."

Fai's eyes widened but then he looked away. "Kuro-ta _would_ do that to me."

"I'm taking Mokona with me," Syaoran interrupted them. His eyes were still closed in meditation. "to absorb the feather until we can bring it to Sakura hime."

"Nothing's going to happen." Kurogane said, laying a firm hand on Fai's arm. "It might be true that everyone there'll be armed to the teeth but it doesn't matter because no one's gonna pull any shit in a room full of armed enemies."

"You're right." Fai said, nodding his head but he wasn't agreeing with him, Kurogane could tell, he was just trying to convince himself.

Suddenly, the jet lurched and everyone stumbled. Almost immediately, Mokona's voice came over the P.A. system again.

"Sorry about that everyone. Mokona made a little mistake."

Kurogane growled and shoved Fai aside as he advanced toward the cockpit on a warpath. He would be damned if the same fur ball who hiccupped his other self into oblivion sent him crashing to a fiery death on board this stupid private jet.

-oOo-

Kurogane held his stomach as he threw up on the airport landing strip while Fai rubbed his back sympathetically. He was too upset to shoo him away. Chasing Mokona around the cockpit had turned out to be a bad idea because after he'd inadvertently knocked Fuuma into the controls, the plane had performed a series of swooping aerial maneuvers generally reserved for air shows and no one was happy with him.

"I'm glad you're the distraction and not the operative."

Kurogane looked up, startled at the new voice, to find a thin man dressed entirely in black standing before him. It turned out to be Kamui, on closer inspection, and Kurogane frowned darkly, straightening. He hadn't seen him approach at all, hadn't even noticed him standing there until he'd spoken. There was a tingling in his spine that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, like the hackles of a dog. There was something about this _Kamui_ guy that put him on edge. It wasn't a _bad_ feeling, necessarily, but it left him on guard just the same.

A firm scowl settled on Kurogane's face as Kamui walked past him to meet with Subaru. Sakura, standing nearby, curtsied politely to him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Kamui-san." she said.

Kamui looked at her and after a beat, during which Sakura adopted a hesitant look in her eyes as she stared back at him, he nodded curtly.

"I wonder what he's going to do when Sakura gets her feather back." Fai whispered. "He seems kind of single-minded."

Kurogane wanted to say that he'd probably take over a country somewhere but he knew full well that Kamui could hear them and he didn't want to make an enemy of the other man - at least not until they had gotten thorough this thing in one piece.

oo

Kamui wasted little time. After a brief exchange with Subaru, he directed them to his rented car and drove them in silence to a hotel parking garage, explaining that they would walk to the designated hotel from there. He took Syaoran and Mokona with him; to where, Kurogane didn't know, and left Fai and Kurogane to join the other auction guests. He didn't tell them his plan, didn't explain anything at all to them. They were the figureheads, on display while Kamui and Syaoran stole the feather.

"Has it crossed your mind," Fai said, as they walked down the sidewalk together on the way to the Paramount Hotel where the auction was to take place "that all of these mafia and yakuza and business people at the auction might remember you later and think that we seemed kind of out of place and come after us?"

Kurogane had not, in fact, considered that possibility. As he recalled now, the only thought he'd had when he'd insisted on going himself was that doing so would bring him face to face with a certain person that he wanted to see for himself. He couldn't afford to worry about things. It was too late in the game to think that way.

"Look, that self-servicing asshole doesn't get to do _anything_ if we win the feather ourselves. And since you only get one wish off it, no one's gonna bother looking for us to get it back."

Fai seemed reassured and returned his gaze to the hotel as they approached it. He took a calming breath and opened the black, lacy fan that Tomoyo had given him to hide behind. With the veil covering his hair and face, he was unrecognizable. He lifted his arm and Kurogane dutifully took it in the fashion of an escort, taking the arm of his benefactor. Fai walked with his head held high, chin level, his gait slow and deliberate; the flawless image of a lady of wealth and standing. It had to be flawless.

oo

The hotel doorman pulled open the large, glass door for them and they walked in together. Directly to the right was the reception hall where the auction was to take place, guarded by two men on either side of the door.

They stopped before the guards and Kurogane handed over their ticket. Subaru had not known the extent of the security measures that would be taken, only that the tickets could be presented by anyone, regardless of who they had originally been issued to. The assumed idea was that if the issued couldn't even hold onto their ticket, they certainly didn't deserve the power of the feather.

The man holding the ticket pocketed it after inspection and the other opened the door for them. They passed into a large room with a shining wood floor and a raised platform at the far left. Soft music drifted above the murmur of quiet conversations.

Scanning the crowd of people gathered, Kurogane spotted each of the individuals that Subaru had brought to their attention - including the stocky Fei Wong Reed, flanked by the tall, waif Kyle Rondart. Both were dressed exclusively in black and were speaking with a pair that Kurogane had never seen.

Kyle seemed to sense that he was being watched because he began to look around and eventually he found them across the room, his eyes settling squarely on Fai.

Fai must have noticed because he turned toward the bar along the wall to their right and made his way in that direction, turning away from the pair.

Kurogane would have reminded him that refreshments weren't a good idea but he was already too late. He went along at Fai's side, wondering if it would be too noticeable for him to check the pocket watch that Subaru had lent him. He refrained though, afraid he'd be checking it every two minutes if he started now.

By the time they reached the long counter where several other guests had gathered to drink in relative silence, Fai had realized that he didn't want to be there; he didn't want to lift his veil to drink anything, but Kurogane couldn't help him now. He ordered Japanese sake, determined to pass whatever time remained behind the single glass sat before him by the expressionless barkeep.

"I would recommend Château Margaux, 2000 if they offer it."

Kurogane turned quickly at the voice, smooth and low, and found Kyle speaking over Fai's shoulder, close to his ear, an easy smile in place. Fai's chin was elevated slightly, and Kurogane knew he was caught.

"Real wine for real women." Kyle continued, straightening. "Everyone knows the synthetics aren't worth drinking."

Kurogane's meaningful glare caught the lanky man's attention as he sat his glass back down on the counter.

"My lady does not drink." It took everything Kurogane had to grind out each word.

Kyle raised an eyebrow to him, his grin sliding to one side. "Oh? A pity but, perhaps she dances, then? There is music after all." One hand gestured vaguely to the air to indicate the softly floating music and came to a stop in Fai's view, palm up, awaiting his hand.

Kurogane's glare darkened. "We aren't here to socialize."

The smile faded from Kyle's face. "How unfortunate. I _was_ hoping to get to know you better. You see, rumor has it that there is one of us who received a ticket and found something more valuable in selling it. And while the identity of said object is certainly in itself is a grand mystery, a more relevant inquiry might be _to whom was the ticket sold?_ While we may all have our own enterprises, our own corners of the world, if you will, there isn't anyone here that doesn't have an intimate knowledge of the poison standing next to them. Know your competition, as it were. Even _I_ recognize or at the least know of everyone who's gathered here tonight. Everyone, that is, except _you_."

Kurogane reached back for his glass, averting his eyes momentarily. "You're probably accustomed to people answering all of your questions and doing whatever you like after your little monologues," he downed the contents of the glass in one long gulp "so it's probably about time you learned that you're not always going to get what you want."

Kyle opened his mouth to speak when they were interrupted by the yakuza man, Okiura. He was clapping, smiling at them, obviously taking some sort of amusement from their exchange.

"After about the first or second sentence it's easy to tune out the people whose self-importance outweighs their charm."

Kyle shot the man a dark glare, a look that may have seemed comical in a room surrounded by other people, but that could easily have sent chills down a man's back if they were alone.

"Come," he beckoned Fai, a hand held out for him "that is…if your escort doesn't mind?"

The slight incline of Fai's head told Kurogane he was likely to say no but if it meant creating a distance between Fai and Kyle, Kurogane was willing to gamble. When he looked at Kyle, he got the distinct impression that he was a snake, just waiting for a warm body to sink poison into.

"My lady does as she pleases." He hoped that Fai got the hint when he turned back to order another drink. A moment later he heard their receding footsteps so he imagined Fai had accepted the invitation.

Faced with only Kurogane to amuse himself with, Kyle retreated, returning to his companion across the room. Kurogane imagined him slithering away and the alcohol still warming his throat made him smile at the imagery in spite of the situation. The smile faded as a thought settled itself firmly in his brain. That man had once murdered a child, a small, innocent child who had looked exactly like Fai. The sake burned on its way to his empty stomach and Kurogane cut himself off.

He turned to watch Fai and the yakuza instead. The man was talking with Fai, the careless smile held unwaveringly in place. He couldn't tell if Fai was speaking in return, but he seemed relaxed enough. They were the only two people dancing and people gave them a wide berth. He spotted another man watching them, Kiyokazu, if he remembered correctly. His hair's unusual color made him easy to spot. He looked about as disgusted with Okiura as Kurogane was with Kyle and Fei Wong.

oo

As Kurogane was sizing up Kiyokazu, another member from Subaru's hot list appeared. He was dressed purely in white, a flowing oriental shirt over matching pants all trimmed in gold, his long silver hair gathered gracefully at his back. He smiled welcomingly but his eyes were sharp enough to make Kurogane frown. He couldn't remember the man's name; he was the guy from Korea.

He ordered himself a vodka martini and once the drink was made he turned around with it and joined Kurogane against the bar, watching the people mingling before them.

"Allow me to guess that _you_ are the man with the missing ticket."

When Kurogane didn't answer the man chucked to himself, as though he were amused by Kurogane's silence, and plucked the olive from his drink, touching it to his lips.

"Perhaps in this I should be direct."

The man from Korea pushed the olive into his mouth and paused a moment to chew it thoroughly and swallow before he continued.

"You have no hope of possessing the feather. It is far out of your league. You may walk among those of standing and wealth and power but, make no mistake, this does not raise you to the level of those such as myself. In this world, a man's fate is decided the moment that he is born; whether into wealth or poverty. A man such as you can wear whatever he likes but everything about you gives away your true standing; from those calloused _paws_ of yours to your uncultured expression. You would do better to leave now and save whatever dignity it is that you imagine you have."

Kurogane was honestly too furious to form a coherent sentence. _Who the hell did this pompous ass think he was?_

"Why you…"

Kurogane reached out for the man next to him but a firm hand found his arm first and Kurogane turned to find another of Subaru's footnotes; the guy whose mother was supposed to be a pain.

"It wouldn't do to fight here."

The Korean took a sip of his drink around the smirk on his lips and left the glass on the counter before he turned with a flourish to make his exit. He didn't go far, however, before he turned back, smiling with false warmth. "Just a bit of friendly advice."

Kurogane made a lunge for him as he turned back around and walked away but the man at his arm held him back.

Kurogane growled and the man released his arm.

"The auction will begin soon." he said.

Before Kurogane could reply, Fai reappeared, minus his dancing partner, and interrupted them.

"Problem?" He spoke softly, quietly, with just enough force to push an air of authority but not so much as to give away his true nature.

The man next to Kurogane turned and quickly bowed to him. "No, my lady." He sounded like he was used to answering to women with little patience. "Beg your pardon. I am Tennou, my lady. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Fai bowed his head in kind. "Likewise. I am Faye and I see you've met Tetsu, my escort."

They'd thought it best not to give names they could be associated with. Unfortunately, Fai's attempt at cleverness had a sad lack of creativity to it, in Kurogane's opinion.

"Your attention, please."

Kurogane, Fai, and their companion turned toward the platform across the room to find the projection of an elderly gentleman addressing the room.

"Tonight's event will now begin."

There was a long pause, during which the bartender and several other attendants left the room; the last turning to close the door, the sound echoing in the now-silent room.

Kurogane nearly sighed in relief. With the start of the auction, social hour was over. Kurogane didn't think he could take any more socializing.

On the platform, two new attendants, dressed in black and wearing identical expressions, lips pressed sternly thin and eyes hard and narrow, carried onto the stage a large easel and set it up with an impressively framed abstract painting. A murmur rose in the audience.

"The first item up for auction will be this painting…" the auctioneer began. "It is an early 20th century piece by the famous…"

"What kind of shit is this?"

All eyes turned toward the Lady Shashi who was glaring up at the auctioneer's hologram with a fierce look. No one else seemed inclined to interrupt her.

"We didn't come here to participate in some petty rummage sale! We want the feather. Get on with it!"

A few agreeing murmurs rose, scattered about the audience but the auctioneer was unmoved.

"I'm afraid you misunderstand." he stated calmly. "The final item does not go up for auction until every item before it has been successfully sold."

Seeing the fuming expression on the Lady Shashi's face, Kurogane thought he understood now why the auctioneer was physically elsewhere.

It must have been her breeding, Kurogane guessed, that was the only thing holding her back from starting a riot, but she, and everyone else, remained silent as the auctioneer gave his long-winded description of the artwork and finally opened bidding at 30,000 US dollars, the preferred currency of the auction's host.

The room remained silent.

The auctioneer allowed the silence to persist for a long, drawn out moment before his hollow, emotionless words permeated the stillness.

"This being the situation, bidding will begin instead at 35,000 dollars."

Gasps sounded around the room; shouts and threats followed closely after.

"This is ludicrous!" someone yelled. Kurogane thought it had come from the Korean woman.

The auctioneer allowed the clamor to wane before speaking; always calm, always uncaring and Kurogane wondered if he might have been a program running from somewhere rather than a human being. It was impossible to tell.

"This being the situation," he began, and everyone knew from this what would be said "bidding will begin instead at…"

"I'll bid!" Tennou's voice rose just in time; the voice of reason and acquiescence among the malcontents. "At 35,000. I'll bid."

"Tennou!" his mother cried.

Words were exchanged between them, quietly so that they couldn't be heard, but then, no one needed to hear the conversation to know what had transpired. They all knew. Putting aside an outright rebellion, they would never see the feather if they didn't jump through the hoops first.

And so the bid went through and Tennou went to pay for his purchase and the auction continued.

"I hope there isn't too much to go though before the feather." Fai whispered next to him and Kurogane grunted in agreement. "If we end up the last pair who haven't bid on anything we may have to spend some of Subaru's money before the feather even comes up."

It was a possibility; that they might have to actually bid on the feather themselves. They'd known that ahead of time but after meeting Kamui in person, Kurogane found that event unlikely. The only thing that would keep Kamui away from that feather would be if they'd somehow managed to clone him ahead of time and set the clone on him. Kurogane had this image of Kamui in his head, running out of bullets in his gun, tossing the thing aside and pulling some sort of complicated karate shit to kick five guy's faces (who were twice his size) in at once.

The auction moved along slowly, due mostly to the auctioneer's slow tone and the fact that everything had to be set up on the stage and paid for on the spot. Nothing that was presented was bid on more than once. Impatience was growing thick in the room like an invisible, oppressive fog.

Somehow, Kurogane and Fai had managed to avoid being pressured into bidding on anything, mostly by standing at the back of the room behind everyone else, and finally, _finally_, the main event item was announced.

The two assistants disappeared behind the curtain to the room behind the stage where the items had been held. An instant later the room was thrown into darkness. In the distance an echoing noise, like a rumble of thunder or a far off explosion accompanied the sudden blinding void but that sound was quickly drowned by the rising panic in the room and shouts of "Someone's stealing it!" and "They're taking the feather!".

There was a stampede for the stage, people shoving and knocking each other down in the dark, but Kurogane knew better than to go that way. He reached out for Fai but couldn't find him.

"Hey!" he called but his voice was drowned out in the commotion.

Suddenly, the lights came back on, blinding Kurogane. They'd only been out for a matter of seconds but when he looked around, searching for the black lace of Fai's dress, he was nowhere to be found.

"Shit!" he cursed. Why would Fai leave his side like that? Had he noticed something Kurogane had missed? He wouldn't have followed the crowd heading for the stage, would he?

Across the room, an emergency exit was standing open and Kurogane ran for it. Maybe he'd thought Kurogane had been behind him and made his escape in the darkness. He cursed himself for being caught by the moment.

oo

Outside, the noise of the auction attendees somewhat faded behind him, Kurogane heard a new voice, one he recognized immediately.

"It's because you're so _stupid_," the voice said, so condescending. _Kyle_. "when you think about it, you're practically _begging_ to be caught, to be taken advantage of. It _hurts_ not to, you know, when you act that way."

Kurogane growled and followed the voice around the corner in an alley behind the hotel.

"Shut up!" Fai cried and Kurogane, rounding the corner behind Fai, concealed by the deep shadows of night, found the tall, lanky Kyle facing Fai whose veil had fallen away, or perhaps been thrown, to the concrete at his feet. Held tightly in trembling hands was the pistol that Subaru had given him, pointed at the man who only grinned back, a sinister, smug look that plainly said he feared nothing from the pitiful man before him.

"You might as well give me the gun now, Fai." Kyle said, stepping forward, hand outstretched, beckoning Fai to obey. "You know you can't kill me with it. You know what I'll do to you if you try."

"I'm not the same child under your thumb." Fai returned, but truthfully, he didn't sound so sure. "You can't control me anymore."

The smile on Kyle's lips slid ever wider, until it split his face with terrible amusement. "I see. You must have fallen in love, is that it? Is it that ape who brought you here tonight? Is it him, Fai? I don't _have_ to hurt him, Fai. He doesn't _have _to suffer for you, not like poor Yuui. I'll let you keep him, Fai. I'll let you go free and live happily ever after…if you tell me where the feather is."

Kyle took another step forward. Fai - _Yuui_ - didn't seem to have noticed.

"Just tell me who it is that brought you here. Tell me who you've fallen in with. Who has the feather? Where is it? Tell me Fai."

Kurogane had heard enough; enough of him saying Fai's name to…_Yuui_ like that. He knew what it was doing to the blonde, how his insides twisted at the sound of it. Kyle halted as he stepped from the shadows, his lip curling into a snarl as he came to stand behind Fai, carefully wrapping his arms around so that the slight form of the trembling blonde was sheltered in his almost-embrace. Fai jerked at first but, without looking, knew it was him and resisted the urge to pull away.

Kurogane lay his hand over Fai's, reinforcing his grip on the gun shaking in his hand, steadying his aim, telling him without words that he was there, that he would support him no matter his decision, that he need not be afraid, not ever again.

He could feel the trembling in Fai's hand settle and Kyle was not pleased. His mouth opened but his poisonous words were silenced by the deafening _bang_ of a gunshot. Fai dropped the pistol in shock as Kyle's eyes widened impossibly large, blood streaming from the corner of his mouth before he fell to the ground with a heavy sound.

But it had not been Fai who fired the killing shot. Kurogane looked up to find the silhouette of a woman behind Kyle, dressed in black. She stared back at him for a moment before fleeing and Kurogane was jolted into action. Stooping to grab the pistol in one hand, Kurogane took Fai's arm in the other and pulled him away from the scene as fast as he could. They had to get away from there. There was no time to worry about Kyle Rondart's killer or the fate of Sakura's feather. They made their escape down the darkened sidewalks lit only by passing vehicles, shoving past the pedestrians in their way.

The city had gone dark, lit only by backup generators creating pockets of light here and there and spots of darkness elsewhere. What the hell had that crazy shit Kamui done, blow up the frickin' power plant?

When Subaru's jet finally came into view, Kurogane realized that he and Fai had not been the only ones delayed. Fuuma was standing in the doorway, a laser weapon pointed over their heads, shouting to them "_Hurry!_".

He chanced a look behind them to see Syaoran, holding Mokona tight to his chest with one arm, his sword drawn at his side and Kamui trailing behind, firing off shots over his shoulder that missed their pursuer due to his hasty aim.

"Kamui!" Fuuma shouted, leaping down from the jet. He started firing as soon as his target came into range. His third shot hit the man in the leg, throwing him to the ground and giving them all just enough time to scramble aboard, the jet lifting into the air before Fuuma's left foot had the chance to leave the ground of its own accord.

Their hearts still racing, adrenaline still pumping in their veins, the group took a moment to breathe, watching as the door closed behind them and the Russian city disappeared from view; all but Fai.

Fai's wide, round eyes didn't seem to see Kurogane standing in front of him as he panted for air, grasping at the neck of his dress, tugging futilely at the chest.

"I can't breathe!" Fai was panicking. "I can't…I can't breathe! Help me!" He started tearing at the dress, succeeding in partially removing the top but he couldn't undo the corset beneath – why Tomoyo had made him wear _that_ Kurogane couldn't fathom.

He pulled Fai into his arms, holding him there tightly, struggling and gasping.

"Fai! Fai!" It seemed that nothing could reach him like that. "_Yuui_." he whispered, close to the blonde's ear.

Fai's body went rigid and Kurogane could see the tears streaming down his face before he gave way, slumping heavily against his chest. Behind him, Kamui held up a hypospray and Kurogane frowned dangerously.

"It's a sedative." was his simple response and Kurogane noticed there was blood dripping down from his shoulder and Subaru was following behind, holding the bandages.

He lifted Fai into his arms and carried him to the couch, laying him out carefully and Tomoyo came to fix his dress, moving tenderly beneath his hawk's gaze.

It took several moments for it to sink in, that they had been successful, that finally, it was over. Mokona opened its mouth and a ball of light floated out, becoming the feather, floating slowly into Sakura's waiting hands.

She held it to her chest gratefully. "Thank you."

Kurogane watched as it dissolved there, against her breast and Syaoran was there to catch her when her eyes drifted shut and she fell into his waiting arms, like magic.

"I have news." Subaru said in the stillness that ensued. "An hour ago the call came in. Kurogane and Fai have arrived in Neo Tokyo. I have a colleague bringing them in now. They should arrive by mid-morning."

Kurogane and Fai… Kurogane looked to Syaoran, Mokona perched on his shoulder. He was standing next to the armchair he'd put Sakura to rest in. He would never see them again. His adventure was over; no more talking rabbits, no more secret societies, no more espionage. Of course, this also meant that there would be no more guns pointed at him, no more yakuza or jetting from one continent to another, but somehow, it felt as if something was being taken from him. He felt as if he somehow fit into this lifestyle. He wondered if it was because another him would be living it instead.

Syaoran sank to the floor, leaning back against the chair. "Is Fai-san alright?" he asked, looking across the way at Fai.

Kurogane followed his gaze. Fai seemed troubled, even in his sleep. He had never seen Fai panic like that before. Fai was as fragile as he was strong, it seemed. It reminded him of something his mother had once said to him; that people were meant to be completed by others. She had been talking about his anti-social attitude. As a child, he had always thought that there was nothing he couldn't do by himself, that he didn't need anyone else around to burden him. He'd never had any real friends. Now, though, he understood what she had meant. His mother had always been right – especially about him.

"He's fine."

As long as he was at Fai's side, somehow they might be complete.

Fai's side…_Yuui's_ side. It wasn't Kurogane's place to tell him to let his brother go. If he was somehow keeping his brother alive inside by taking his name, it wasn't Kurogane's business to tell him how to live but if what he was doing was keeping his own failure and pain around to torture himself with, to make it impossible to move on for fear of forgetting his twin, Kurogane couldn't watch him do that to himself.

Fai had told him that Yuui died on the day that his brother was killed but Kurogane thought the truth was that he had hidden himself away and just didn't know how to unlock that door. He thought that he had seen the truth in the instant that Kamui had sedated him, in the instant he had said his name, but there was always the possibility that he was reading too much into things. Maybe all Fai needed was just to keep moving.

"Subaru," Mokona called out, pulling Kurogane from his thoughts and drawing his attention to the creature perched on Syaoran's knee "Syaoran needs bandages too!"

Syaoran blushed slightly under the concerned gazes he received and shook his head. "No, I… it's just bruises."

"…Let's see." Subaru offered and, reluctantly, Syaoran pulled his shirt over his head. He probably knew that arguing the matter would only draw more attention to it.

His ribs were beginning to color with nasty bruises that would surely be tender come morning and Kurogane wondered how ordinary this might have been for him, how often he might have ignored them so as not to worry the girl behind him.

"They aren't as bad as they look." Syaoran said, avoiding the gazes self-consciously.

Subaru turned to the medical kit lying open on a nearby table and produced a bottle of green cream. Kneeling before Syaoran, he flipped the cap open and squeezed some out on his hand, asking silent permission.

Syaoran moved his arms out of the way and Subaru spread the cream over the discolorations for him.

"This is what I use for Kamui. The bruises should be gone by tomorrow."

Syaoran's eyes widened as he looked down at Subaru's work. "What is it?"

Subaru handed him the bottle to read. "A mix of herbs, mostly. You could make it yourself at home but it wouldn't be quite as effective as this."

Syaoran studied the bottle's ingredients, clearly memorizing the list.

Speaking of Kamui… Kurogane wanted to ask him how long it was that Fai was supposed to sleep, but he was nowhere to be found so Kurogane took his seat on the floor, like Syaoran, and listened as Mokona piped up to tell them all about the battles that Syaoran and Kamui had fought.

-oOo-

Kurogane thought he might have dozed off a time or two during the relatively monotonous flight back to Subaru's Italian home, but he couldn't really be sure. Time seemed to stop whenever he boarded an airplane and he could never really be sure he wouldn't be caught within that still-time forever.

Sakura was awake by the time they landed but Fai was still out cold and Kurogane grew more and more irritated with Kamui with each passing hour. He kept telling himself that if Fai didn't wake up by any given amount of time that seemed to change on his whim that he would wring the bastard's neck.

Landing on solid ground calmed him a bit though, saving Kamui a horrid death, surely.

Kurogane took Fai back to the room they had shared and undressed him of the lace gown and all its complicated undergarments and redressed him in his own clothes which had been cleaned and folded and put in the dresser by the bed.

His mother had owned one beautiful, expensive kimono in her lifetime. He remembered that she had always hung it out for a time after wearing it so he found a hanger in a closet and hung the dress inside instead of trying to fold it. He wasn't sure if Tomoyo might get mad at him for folding it wrong – or folding it at all – but he was fairly certain that he didn't want to see her angry.

The veil and fan were missing. Kurogane intended to leave before she found that out. For some reason, he had the feeling that she would find some way to blame him for it, rather than Fai.

oo

Leaving Fai to rest, Kurogane went to find Subaru, to ask for copies of all the footage he had of his parents but he ran into Sakura instead.

"Kurogane-san!" She seemed happy to see him. "I'm so glad that I had the chance to run into you and to say goodbye properly before we leave." She bowed respectfully and, for an instant, Kurogane thought of doing the same, but the thought of politeness passed quickly as she straightened and smiled up at him. "I'm glad we had the chance met this world's you and Fai-san. The more time we spend together, the more I feel that we all share a very special bond so it wouldn't surprise me if someday you were able to meet a me or a Syaoran-kun from this world."

"I wouldn't mind that." Kurogane offered her a smile and Sakura's brightened twice as much. "It must be strange for you," Kurogane added after the moment had passed "to be leaving _us_ behind here and keep traveling with…us…"

"A little." Sakura admitted. "But I'll always remember the time we spent with you here and what you did for us…for me. I'm only sorry that there was nothing we could really do for you in return."

Kurogane shook his head. "That isn't true. You've done more than you know. It's because you came here that my parents met in the first place, so in a way, I exist because of you…" Kurogane hadn't realized it until he'd said it. He _existed_ because these children had traveled to this world resulting in the gathering of people to help them. Somehow, the scope of it made it a frightening thought. Frightening and sobering.

"I never thought we could affect the worlds we travel to _so_ much." Sakura said, sharing his solemn expression. "Just because we came here, people met and became friends and families, my feather caused such goodness and such evil; people's lives were changed forever because of us."

Kurogane's gaze focused on the girl before him, a determination in his eyes and his voice as he replied. "Don't let it stop you. Don't let it slow you down. Things happen. It doesn't really matter _why_ they happened in the end. You do what you can when the time comes and don't waste your time thinking about everything else."

"That's right." Mokona agreed and both turned to find Mokona riding on Subaru's shoulders, approaching them. "It was hitsuzen that the feather came here. That's what Yuuko would say."

"That's not what I said at all!" Kurogane argued.

"Sure it was!" Mokona argued back. "Kuro-pon's parents were destined to meet and make Kuro-pon so that Kuro-pon could find Fai and help Sakura, Syaoran, and Mokona!"

"My name is not _Kuro-pon_!" Kurogane shouted back. "And I didn't say anything about anything being destined to happen. What I do with my life is entirely under my control. Things just happen. Which is what I said: _shit happens!_"

Subaru, caught in the middle, stifled a small laugh under Kurogane's tirade and Kurogane turned away with a huff.

"I'm gonna go check on Fai. If he doesn't come around soon, I'm gonna kill that bastard Kamui." Kurogane muttered.

He only remembered the footage he wanted to ask Subaru about when he got back to the room. Fai was still asleep. He took a moment to look the blonde over. He seemed to be sleeping better than he had been before so Kurogane changed into his own clothes and sat in the bed next to him, crossing his arms over his chest, and soon fell asleep.

oo

Kurogane woke to voices talking softly outside the bedroom door. He'd left it ajar and outside, Syaoran and Mokona were talking about saying goodbye.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Mokona said. "I don't think we're supposed to meet ourselves."

"But after everything…" Syaoran hesitated. "I don't think it could do any harm for them to meet now."

"I'm not thinking about _this_ Kuro-pon and Fai." Mokona clarified. "It's _our_ Kuro-puu and Fai."

There was silence for a time until finally Syaoran answered. "I understand."

He lingered for a few more moments before Kurogane heard his footsteps recede down the hall.

"You want to see them, don't you?"

Kurogane looked down but Fai was lying on his side, facing away from him.

"I'll admit I'm curious."

"You should go." Fai said, his voice soft, almost worn out. "You'll never have another chance."

"What about you?"

Fai shook his head. "I don't want to see him." he whispered and Kurogane understood; the man who had his face. "Go."

Kurogane nodded, even though Fai couldn't see it, and stood, letting his vacant seat be his answer and left the room.

oo

Kurogane didn't know where Syaoran had been heading so he decided to try Subaru's study. On the way, he passed by Fuuma who offered to lead him in the opposite direction.

"Subaru's inner study is for private meetings, the outer office is for work, this is the one where general meetings are held." Fuuma explained, pointing out a large pair of double doors down a short hallway off-shooting the main sitting room.

Kurogane moved to approach the room but Fuuma stopped him, a hand on his arm, a smile on his lips. "The master study is special because _this_ room is next door." he explained, indicating the smaller door they were standing in front of. Reaching around Kurogane, Fuuma turned the handle and swung the door open, waving him inside.

Following him inside, Fuuma turned on a monitor and the entire wall lit, showing them the study next door. It was the most impressive surveillance system Kurogane had ever seen. In fact, he was pretty sure that systems this good were generally reserved for government offices. It was as if the screen he was looking at was simply the rest of the room.

And on the other side was another version of himself. It was like looking through a mirror into some sort of alternate reality. He was dressed in black and red; a red mantle framed his face emblazoned with the simple image of a crescent moon, a wrap-around cape hung at his shoulders, the collar hiding his neck from view. He was shaking Mokona by the ears.

"-stupid pork bun! You did that on purpose, didn't you!"

"Mokona didn't even know you were gone because this world's Kuro-puu was just as grumpy as _you_ are!" Mokona cried back, swinging at…him.

Fai laughed. It was a sound that said he was only reacting to the knowledge that the situation was funny, or maybe he'd done it just to further annoy the him that was standing next to him. Either way, Kurogane recognized the sound. It was a sound that said he didn't know how to fully relax without worries.

The Fai standing next to his other self was dressed in a thick long coat, trimmed in fur, blue swirling patterns sweeping along the length of it. It was open, revealing a strange form-fitting outfit with a tailed overcoat and boots that seemed to actually be part of his pants. Draped over one arm was another coat.

"I'm not saying you can't join in next door," Fuuma said, drawing just enough of Kurogane's attention to glance his way "but nobody can hear or see you from here and everything's being recorded anyway." That said, Fuuma left the room, closing the door behind him and a moment later, Kurogane saw him enter the next room.

"Don't worry, Mokona." Fai assured. "Kuro-tan is just trying to hide how worried he was when we got here and didn't find the three of you."

"I was not!" Kurogane yelled back, dropping Mokokna. "Stupid mage! Don't put words in my mouth!"

"He was sick with worry." Fai insisted, dramatizing the statement with a hand at the corner of his mouth.

Syaoran, obviously sensing the mounting tension, was quick to cut in, interrupting any potential comeback Kurogane might have had. "We've already found the princess's feather in this world. We were helped by the you and Fai-san from this world and Subaru and his organization; they were the ones who found the feather in the first place."

"Oh yeah? So…where are those guys?"

"I sure would love to meet Kuro-puu in other worlds." Fai commented wistfully. "I wonder if he's as fun to tease as you." he added, poking Kurogane's cheek playfully.

"Don't do that!" Kurogane snapped, stepping away from the blonde - just a single step. "One of you is already one too many."

Fai's smile was hollow and fixed.

"He is fun to tease!" Mokona declared, dancing in place. "He is! We had so much fun!"

Sakura nodded, smiling happily. "We got to ride on a ferris wheel and dance in the sky!"

"Huh?" Kurogane seemed confused.

Mokona nodded in agreement. "And then Tomoyo-chan made Fai-Fai into a girl!"

A faint blush dusted Fai's cheeks at that. "Pardon?"

"Tomoyo?" Kurogane declared. "Is she here? Where is she?"

"I'm sorry," Subaru said, speaking for the first time in their conversation "she had an appointment to keep later this evening and left as soon as we got back."

Kurogane watched the sudden crestfallen expression on his double, the frown slowly ease back into place, and a brief thought about his other wanting to meet Tomoyo even though she wouldn't be the one he had known led him to wonder if somewhere out there were worlds in which his parents were alive and well, worlds where Fai and his brother led normal lives. Fai didn't seem to want to see those worlds but Kurogane couldn't deny that he would probably take the chance to see his mother or father again if he could – even if they didn't know him. But he couldn't compare his loss to Fai's.

"You all are welcome to stay here as long as you want before continuing your journey." Subaru offered.

"Oh? That's very nice of you." Fai commented.

"Mokona thinks we should go now." the creature suggested. "Since Sakura and Syaoran and Mokona have been here a long time already."

"Yeah, whatever." Kurogane muttered. He was looking around discretely. "Does anyone else feel like we're being watched?"

Kurogane grinned from his room next door. Someday, he'd like to be that good, he thought.

"Kuro-ru's just nervous from the flight." Fai suggested teasingly.

Kurogane frowned. "I am not. … But if I _were_ tired it would be from sitting in that thing with you for hours and hours with you blathering on in my ear in your ridiculous language you _knew_ I couldn't understand!"

"I was just keeping Kuro-pii company." Fai defended light-heartedly. "Don't you like the sound of my voice?" he asked innocently.

Kurogane growled and grabbed Mokona from its perch on Syaoran's shoulder. "Time to go." he declared, throwing the creature into the air.

Mokona giggled as it flew up, up, and seemed to hover above them before it declared "Mokona Modoki is all excited!" and swirls of light seemed to emanate from it, swirling around the room.

The jewel on Mokona's forehead began to glow brightly. The four travelers gathered closer together and a glowing circle spread out beneath their feet, encompassing the entire floor. The symbols inside it reminded Kurogane of the ancient alchemical circles that had been in the history chapter of his science book in high school. Subaru and Fuuma moved quickly out of it, watching with awe as Mokona began circling the four within the circle.

"Ahh~" Its mouth opened and glowing white wings sprouted from its back. "Puu!"

The swirls of light closed in on the travelers until they, too, began glowing and soon, everything within the circle was formless bright light that Kurogane had to squint his eyes to see. Mokokna opened its mouth wide and the light condensed into an orb that flew inside. As the circle began to collapse, Mokona flew into it and it all vanished, leaving Subaru and Fuuma alone in the drawing room.

Kurogane stared at the empty floor space. He knew that if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he never would have believed in it but he thought maybe the existence of magic was a little out of his league and vowed not to spend any more thought on it other than that they were gone.

He remembered Sakura stepping out of the dressing room, twirling before Syaoran, her smile nervous and excited, Syaoran hesitant and shy. He remembered her infectious laugh as Fai had danced with her on the airplane and her guilt and determination in helping to get back her feather.

He remembered Syaoran catching her as she fell after absorbing the feather, his oblivious offer to sleep on the floor when Fai had been distracting him at the restaurant they'd gone to together, the sword he had held out to him like an honored treasure.

Even Mokona's hyper exuberance, bouncing around the room, pillow fights and flying the jet – nearly _crashing_ the jet…

And they were gone. He hadn't known he would miss them until they were gone.

oo

Kurogane returned to the bedroom he shared with Fai, thinking of how hectic his life had been since going in search of his mother's letter and how he wasn't sure he knew how to go back to the quiet life he'd lived before.

Fai was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking away at the floor across the room. He didn't look up when Kurogane walked in.

"Was it him?"

"It was you." Kurogane answered without doubt and Fai looked to him, his eyes haunted and uncertain.

"How could you know?"

"I would know." Kurogane assured him, ending the conversation.

Fai nodded absently and stood, turning to face Kurogane, his shoulders squared, practiced lines firm. "I have to go back. Now. To New Chicago. To stop Fei Wong before he disappears forever."

Kurogane waited, letting Fai get the difficult words out with growing determination.

"The woman who killed Kyle is Xing Huo. She works for Fei Wong too. With Kyle out of the way, she'll be at the head of all of the business deals he was in charge of. When she tells Fei Wong about me being there, he won't take any chances. He'll collapse his illegal operations and leave the country. He can fall back on legitimate enterprises and there'll be nothing anyone can do to even prove he did anything wrong. I can't let that happen, not now when I can finally _do_ something. I can't let him go on making more children like me."

This was Fai's resolve. A lifetime of stolen innocence and vague memories of happiness lost to one man's selfish desires had grown into his existence and this was his only chance to avenge himself.

"Then we'll go now."

oo

They wasted no time and sought out Subaru to ask for the use of his jet.

"We'll pay you back for it someday." Fai promised but Subaru just smiled and shook his head.

"I brought you here, after all."

"I wanted to ask if you could copy all of the footage with my parents in it." Kurogane said, wanting to bring it up before he lost the chance.

"I will." Subaru agreed. They were standing in Subaru's private office and on the desk nearby he found a business card and handed it to Kurogane. "These are the numbers you can reach me at. Give me a call in a few days and I'll send it to you."

Kurogane took the card and slipped it into his pocket. "Thank you."

Subaru nodded. "Don't be strangers. You're both welcome to visit here whenever you like. And if you ever need a place to stay, think of this as home. The house is going to be a little more empty without secret society meetings to host." he added, grinning. "But I'll still think of all its members as a kind of extended family. It's the way Sorata and Arashi created _penna_ and it includes you now, even though the society itself is now obsolete. There's nothing like a magic feather to bring people together."

"I have to admit," Fai said "I'll never think of the universe in the same way again."

"Yeah." Subaru agreed. "It's like we've found all the magic and wonder the world seemed to have when we were kids. It never went away; we just lost touch with it."

Kurogane didn't know about "magic" and "wonder". His childhood games of pretend had all involved invading armies and swordplay. But having seen things in the past few days that the world had no explanation for, things he never would have imagined, he couldn't say that anything was impossible anymore.

"I'll find Fuuma and let the two of you get ready." Subaru told them. "I'll have him meet you at the jet. It's already been refueled and is ready to go. Do yourselves a favor," he added "and take the flight time to relax a bit. There's a nice bathtub and a tv and refrigerator. Just ask Fuuma if you need anything."

"We really appreciate it." Kurogane said, offering Subaru his hand and they shook. As they parted ways, Kurogane was sure that they hadn't seen the last of him – he was also sure that Fai had not seen the last of Tomoyo but that was a whole other issue altogether.

* * *

Omake: Kamui and Syaoran

"You blew up a power plant!"

"Less talk, more running." Kamui hissed behind him.

The lights were already on again. If Kamui had had a little more time, he would have set explosives at the hotel's backup generator too. He _hated_ only doing things half-way.

They broke through a service exit at a dead run but it wasn't fast enough. If only he'd had more time…

"Leaving kinda early aren't we? Auction's not over yet."

The searing pain that only laser fire can make as it burns through flesh threw Kamui off balance but his recovery was instantaneous and before he'd even identified his assailant, he'd fired back several bursts of laser fire from his own weapon. Not a single shot landed and Kamui saw that his opponent was Bols, the militant leader and suspected arms dealer.

"Kamui! Are you alright?"

Kamui frowned. The last thing he needed was some kid worrying about him. He stole a glance to his left to see Syaoran flanking him, brandishing a sword as his weapon. He guessed it had been inside of the talking creature he'd brought along; things went into it, things came out…

"I bet you're wondering how I snuck this little baby past hotel security, aren't you?" Bols said, holding up his laser gun with pride. "It's a brand new model. I commissioned it myself. Families were kidnapped and everything just so I could bring this little darling with me tonight. You're impressed aren't you?"

Kamui was not impressed. In fact, he was busy calculating the quickest way to make the lunatic disappear. He decided that the direct approach was faster than listening to his monologue and before Bols could open his mouth again he was dodging out of the way of Kamui's foot in its path to his chin.

Syaoran moved to follow but movement in his peripheral caught his attention and he just barely had time to lean back, avoiding the fist on a collision course with the side of his face. It breezed past him and Syaoran turned to find Kiyokazu Fujimoto pulling back for a lower strike.

"I'm your opponent." he said simply and Syaoran couldn't avoid the fist that slammed into his side, throwing him back.

Kiyokazu was unarmed. He waited for Syaoran to rise.

"I'm sorry," Syaoran said "I can't give you the feather. It belongs to someone else."

The slight shift of Kiyokazu's eyes guided Syaoran to a man standing in the shadows, watching them intently. His name was Okiura, Syaoran remembered, the yakuza, and he was controlling Kiyokazu.

Syaoran sheathed his sword and lay it on the ground at his feet. Kiyokazu advanced immediately; a high, strong kick that Syaoran deflected with his forearm, launching a kick of his own that Kiyokazu dodged.

oo

"How old are you?" Bols asked, firing off a random shot that Kamui had practically already dodged when he'd fired it.

"Because I think you might be better in a different line of work, I really do."

Kamui went for his face this time but Bols was infuriatingly quick at dodging him.

"I think if I take _you_ back instead of the feather that I couldn't count the trip a total loss. Or I take back you _and _the feather. Or you and that interesting little computer you've got there."

Bols looked past Kamui to where Mokona was sitting on the ground nearby, looking worriedly in Syaoran's direction and Kamui quickly blocked his line of sight with a foot on its way to his face and Bols grinned.

"I could take that foot back, to remind me of you."

oo

It was clear to Syaoran that Okiura had not chosen to bring Kiyokazu along simply because the other was in debt. Kiyokazu was a formidable fighter. His style seemed to be a mish-mash of moves he'd picked up here and there, untrained and undisciplined, but he was determined nonetheless. He obviously had something desperately important to him to fight for. It was Syaoran's eternal lament that he sometimes had to do less than honorable things, get in good people's way, to keep the promise he had made to his own precious person. He did not regret, but that did not mean that he didn't carry it with him.

"Syaoran!"

Kamui's shout meant that it was time to wrap things up. He was being given no more time for honor or understanding. Syaoran leapt back, stooping to take up his sword and when Kiyokazu followed, unaware, Syaoran brought it up, striking the hilt against his opponent's temple. Kiyokazu went down in a crumpled heap and Syaoran reached out for Mokona, who leapt to his waiting embrace.

"Sorry." Syaoran afforded the other. It was better this way, he thought, making his escape under the watchful eye of Okiura. Kiyokazu was defeated, he couldn't be blamed. Syaoran chose to think that to be the case; to think otherwise would only keep him awake at night.

At the first opening, Kamui followed behind but he knew it wouldn't be long before Bols was up again. 'Don't kill anyone,' Subaru said, 'unless you really have to.' Subaru wanted to spare him the consequences of the things he saw himself asking his brother to do. Kamui couldn't make him understand, that he did them gladly, for Subaru.

* * *

Post whatevers: Two notes: 1) Russia's technology is behind the times and 2) hyposprays are also called "jet injectors". As always, if you liked, please review.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is the intellectual property of CLAMP.

Author's Note: This story is rated **M**. Yay!

- Inu-chan is accepting commissions on deviantart right now for very low prices. There's a link to her page in my profile. She does KuroxFai commissions for me so I thought I'd pass it along. She's working for money to get her first dollfie and if anyone doesn't know what that is, please look into it. Dollfies are amazing.

* * *

All That I Am ~

**Part 2, Chapter 4**

There was no time for Kurogane to look back at Subaru's mansion with Subaru standing in its doorway as an irate Kamui ushered them onto the private jet and ordered Fuuma to take off. The door had not even sealed shut before the craft lifted into the air. He seemed to be in an exceptionally hostile mood for some reason Kurogane could not fathom and disappeared into the cockpit, locking the door behind him.

"What the hell crawled up his ass?" Kurogane groused, glaring at the cockpit.

Fai chuckled. "I think maybe we interrupted him."

"I don't recall _anyone_ saying he needed to come along." Kurogane argued back.

"I mean I think it may be more of what _didn't_." Fai clarified.

It took Kurogane a minute but he got it eventually and turned his attention elsewhere, giving the locked door one final disgusted look as he slumped into one of the armchairs.

Fai followed suit, sitting in Kurogane's lap.

Kurogane turned the look on him. "Get off."

"Poo." Fai pouted. "Why? No one's watching. I like being near Kuro-tan." he whispered, nuzzling into Kurogane's neck.

"Don't do that." Kurogane growled – but he wasn't sure if he meant it. He let Fai have his way until the blonde settled, his face pressed into the space between Kurogane's neck and shoulder. He thought Fai had wanted to say something but he seemed to just be enjoying the silence.

He wondered if he could get used to this, given enough time.

"What are you going to do when we get back there?" Kurogane asked, regrettably causing Fai to move, sitting up to look back at him.

"Ashura." Fai answered decisively. "Fei Wong will call Ashura to clean any buildings he's vacating so only Ashura will know where he is."

"Are you sure you can trust this _Ashura_ guy?" Kurogane wasn't sure he liked the idea of turning to a criminal "cleaner" for help. "If Fei Wong's heard about you being in Russia, he could have paid Ashura a lot to let him know when you're back in town."

But Fai shook his head. "Ashura doesn't work for Fei Wong, he's just been contracted by Fei Wong. He's very strict about doing what he's been paid to do. He's not a hitman and he's not a snitch."

Kurogane didn't have anything to say. He couldn't argue to the contrary. He just didn't like it.

"Ashura was always trying to look out for me." Fai said, staring off into the distance. He knew I was looking for a way out and made me promise if I was ever going to leave town that I would stop by his house first. He even made me memorize the address. But I knew that he would try to talk me out of it so I promised but I didn't go. Unless he's heard from Fei Wong, he probably thinks I'm dead."

Fai let a moment pass in silence before he stood, forcing a smile as he turned back to Kurogane. "I think I'll take Subaru up on that bathtub offer."

Kurogane watched Fai disappear into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar just enough to let steam escape but closed enough to prevent anyone seeing inside by mistake. He watched the area for a while – and found out that the chairs swiveled when you pushed a directional button on a panel underneath the armrest.

The more he watched the door, the more vivid his imagination of what Fai might be doing in there became. Eventually, he decided that there was no reason to sit in the chair and wonder about it when he could go and find out. The door _was_ open, after all.

oo

Kurogane pushed the door in slowly at first, seeing Fai before the blonde spotted him. Kurogane had never actually looked in at the bath, as it was separate from the toilet. The space inside was much larger than he had envisioned and the tub, a large, oval structure, appeared to have all the amenities. A large showerhead even hung from the ceiling overhead.

Fai was sitting in a mountain of bubbles, his knees bent above the waterline and the rubber duck in his hands. He appeared to be talking to it. Kurogane grinned and pushed the door open the rest of the way.

"Kuro-pon." Fai looked up, still holding the rubber duck.

"Thought you might need someone to wash your back."

Fai's smile brightened like the sun had suddenly come out from behind the clouds in full force as Kurogane crossed the room to him. "Aww!" he squealed, releasing the duck into its natural environment. It disappeared into the bubbles immediately. "_How sweet!_ I knew Kuro-pluff was really a softie under that gruff exterior!"

Kurogane reached over and turned on the shower on cold.

"_EEEK!_" Fai screeched, jerking back away from it. "Eeek! I take it back!"

Kurogane turned it back off and Fai glared at him with a little pout.

"Meanie. Now I'm freezing."

Kurogane's smug grin caught Fai's attention. "Guess I'll have to warm you back up, then."

Fai grinned back, slyly. "Naughty boy."

Kurogane reached down to pull his shirt off. "You're a bad influence."

Fai slid forward, folding his arms on the edge of the tub to watch as Kurogane undressed.

His lecherous grin made Kurogane blush in spite of himself.

"Do you have to stare at me like that?"

"Absolutely." Fai answered happily.

"I'm sorry I asked." Kurogane mumbled, stepping into the tub opposite Fai.

He found there was plenty of room for them both.

"Bubble baths are for little kids you know." Kurogane muttered, shoving a mountain of bubbles away toward Fai.

Fai scooped some up and dabbed Kurogane's nose with it, grinning.

Kurogane frowned as he wiped it away.

"Kuro-rin only complains because he has no imagination." Fai returned matter-of-factly.

"I try but it's hard to imagine you as a sane adult." Kurogane replied in the same tone.

He couldn't escape the wall of water that washed over his head but he made sure that Fai got just as wet for it.

And Fai laughed. It was nothing like the sound of his counterpart's laugh. It was strong and loud and carefree. Kurogane knew that this feeling would be gone by the time they landed but just now, for just this short amount of time, he felt like he could possibly forget that.

Kurogane moved forward, intending to kiss Fai, but made the mistake of supporting himself on the edge of the tub, slick with soapy residue and slipped, falling toward Fai instead. He caught himself at the last minute but Fai erupted into shrieks of laughter at his expense.

Reaching up, Kurogane shoved Fai down under the water, giving him just enough time to take a breath before he went under.

Fai came up fast, ambushing Kurogane tongue first, pressing against him and plundering his mouth. Kurogane was so caught off guard that he didn't notice that Fai's pressing against him was pressing him backward until Fai shoved him back and he went under himself.

Fai had his innocent look in place by the time Kurogane came up coughing. He seemed to be waiting to see what Kurogane would do but when Kurogane reached behind him and pulled out the rubber duck, he smiled and closed the distance between them, taking the duck and offering him a kiss in exchange.

The duck let out a long, loud _quaaaaack_ between Fai's hands and Kurogane reached down, pulling it away from him carefully and giving it a toss out of the tub.

"Was Kuro-rii jealous of Mr. Duck?" Fai asked, slyly and before Kurogane could even answer, he reached down and gave Kurogane a squeeze too. Kurogane didn't make quite the same noise, but Fai was entertained nonetheless. "Don't worry, Kuro-pu has the monopoly of me."

This time when Fai kissed him, Kurogane grabbed his ass and pulled him forward, pleased to note that he wasn't the only one with an erection.

"That's good to know." he muttered against the blonde's mouth. "But I wasn't worried."

Kurogane grabbed their erections together and Fai moaned into the kiss.

"You're right." Fai conceded when they parted for air, Kurogane pumping them together with long, slow strokes. "The rubber duck is out of my league. Just look at his tub."

Kurogane let himself go and squeezed Fai hard enough to pull an _eep_ from him. Fai pouted and Kurogane grinned. "I'd be careful if I were you. The rubber duck's a lying cheater."

"I…Is that so?" Fai returned distractedly. Kurogane was stroking him again, touching the slit at the head of his erection _just so_.

"Oh yeah." Kurogane guided Fai's leg forward and slid a hand up the slender limb affectionately, all the way to his ass. "He got you into the tub under false pretenses. It's not even his tub."

Fai rose up, bending down to bring his lips to Kurogane's. "I thought he got a little too upset when I was talking about you."

Fai reached around to guide Kurogane's hand to a better place as they kissed and Kurogane didn't protest, probing the tight ring of muscle at his opening, gently at first, then pressing harder, slipping in.

Fai moaned, holding onto Kurogane's arms and laying his head to rest on his shoulder as Kurogane's finger moved in and out of him. Every few strokes he would dip it down into the bathwater to help the process and then there were two.

"Is it painful this way," Kurogane whispered, concerned "without lube?"

Fai shook his head no and kissed the side of Kurogane's neck. "It feels good."

A third finger joined the first two and soon Fai was pressing back against them. Kurogane grinned, glad Fai couldn't see. Kurogane could feel his every rocking motion in the pulse of blood to his groin. It was intoxicating. He almost didn't want to break the rhythm…_almost_.

Pulling his fingers out, Kurogane brought his hands to Fai's hips to guide him into place and Fai obliged, sinking himself down where Kurogane positioned him, his back arching as he took the length of him in.

It was completely different from their first time, not just the push and pull and rush of the water as they moved it in tandem but because this time it was Fai doing most of the moving, setting their rhythm.

For a moment Kurogane was caught in the sight of him, lips parted as his breathing became heavy and his eyes half-lidded and unfocused. Watching him do all the work himself might have been enough to make Kurogane come on its own but he was too prideful to let that happen and he couldn't be satisfied unless Fai came too. So the next time Fai rose up, Kurogane thrust up and met him forcefully coming down.

Fai gasped, eyes flying open as he fell forward against Kurogane's chest and they began a more rigorous pace. Fai began with his hands flat against Kurogane's chest but soon they were wrapped around his neck, giving him a better angle. Kurogane could hear from the pitch of Fai's voice which strikes had hit his prostate, the noises building until Fai was panting and Kurogane was heaving and both came forcefully, Fai's seed forced between them as they each tightened their hold and their lips found one another's hungrily.

-oOo-

"We'll miss you guys." Fuuma called out from the exit door of Subaru's private jet. "You'll have to visit us soon!"

Fai smiled and waved back. "It was nice to meet you. Take care, Fuuma and Kamui."

Fai nudged Kurogane and the other man grumbled. "Don't let that Subaru guy work too hard."

"Will do!" Fuuma answered, saluting him exaggeratedly. When Kamui didn't add anything, he elbowed him gently and Kamui frowned.

"Next time bring your own lube."

Kamui slapped the control and the door slid shut in front of them.

A moment passed in silence afterward before Fai broke into laughter. Even Kurogane couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Come on." he said, turning. "Let's go find a cab."

Fai hefted the duffle bag he'd brought from Subaru's house and looped his arm through Kurogane's as they walked.

Kurogane let his eyes slide to the side. He hadn't really taken much notice of the bag when Fai had loaded it into one of the plane's little hide-away spots but now he noticed that it was heavier than it would have been were it filled with clothes.

"What's in there anyway?"

Fai smiled up at him unassumingly. "Goodies." he answered simply. "From Subaru."

Kurogane guessed food could account for the weight.

"Isn't someone from customs supposed to meet us?" It was Kurogane's understanding that nothing was supposed to leave or come into this country without some authority knowing about it but Fai merely shook his head.

"Subaru took care of it."

Kurogane rolled his eyes. 'Subaru took care of it' so that Fai could smuggle in Italian sweets. Wonderful.

"And hey," Fai added, waving his arm out to hail a taxi on the sidewalk in front of the airport "I noticed you're feeling a lot better after this landing."

"Yeah." Kurogane nodded. "Guess I've gotten used to it." Then again, certain activities had made it kind of difficult to think about the actual flight…or the plane they were on…or much of anything.

oo

It was easy to find a cab even though they'd landed off of the airport's schedule. Fai recited the address to the driver and fell silent in the seat next to Kurogane, his duffle bag sat securely between his feet, his fingers stroking its straps distractedly.

Kurogane watched him for a few minutes but when it became clear that Ashura lived quite a distance away, he looked away from Fai and said "Tell me more about this Ashura guy."

"About Ashura?" Fai asked, looking back to him, his hands stilling. "Like what?"

"Whatever." Kurogane answered, irritation flaring suddenly. "Is this going to be a short visit? How much are you planning on telling him? … What's he look like?"

Kurogane figured he'd better at least know who to glare at in case someone else answered the door.

Fai smiled and leaned into Kurogane's side. "I do believe Kuro-puu is feeling a little territorial here."

"I am not." Kurogane argued, shoving him off.

"Hmm…" Fai didn't sound as though he believed him but he answered anyway. "If I had to use one word to describe Ashura it might be…cultured…or maybe _suave_? Ashura is the type of person who doesn't like to miss afternoon tea. He has long black hair like silk and…I don't think I've ever seen him without an expensive suit on. When we're alone…Ashura calls me Yuui, even though I told him not to. He said that way…I can't ever forget."

Kurogane followed Fai's gaze out the window. It looked like they might be heading out of town.

"Have you ever…been with this guy?" He was hesitant to say it, afraid that Fai would give him some kind of look, like he shouldn't bother to ask and answer something like 'Of course.' or worse, he would give him a pitying look and his answer would be the same but instead, Fai's answer came quick and firm.

"Never. Ashura was always…the safety net."

Kurogane couldn't help feeling just a little relieved.

oo

The cab took them out of the city. Kurogane tried not to let his mind wander. He didn't want to think about Ashura, who quietly watched children suffer and die or Fei Wong, who used them for his own selfish gain or how much it all pissed him off. It would have been nice to think back on Subaru's bathtub but now probably wasn't the time for that.

Kurogane turned back to look at Fai. He was chewing his bottom lip, staring out the window lost in thought.

"How long?" Kurogane asked, pressing the intercom to the driver.

The driver shrugged. "Eh…three seconds…ish."

The car slowed to a stop and Kuroagne pushed the door open, standing to find it parked in front of the oddest structure he had ever seen in his life. The house itself was large in the simple house structure with accompanying garage to the right, nothing like Subaru's mansion, but impressive in its own right. But it was standing alone in its field with no surrounding esthetics; no gardens or statues or even a fence and behind it was what looked to be a gigantic greenhouse, inside of which the green tops of trees could be seen.

A walkway led from the road to the house and Fai began down it slowly, duffle bag in hand, walking as though the house were somehow pulling him toward it.

Kurogane slammed the car door shut and followed after him, catching up in only a few strides. Behind them, the cab pulled away, the sound fading into the distance, leaving them behind. Neither spoke as they continued moving forward until finally they came to the door.

Fai raised his hand to knock but stopped short. It didn't matter though, because just then, the door swung inward and standing across the threshold was the man who could be none other than Ashura himself.

Long ebony hair spilled across his shoulders and down his back. The barely visible lines of his age made him look dignified rather than old and widened golden brown eyes gave away clearly his surprise and happiness to see the guest at his door. Kurogane caught him glance his way, ever so briefly, but his focus remained on Fai.

He reached out, taking Fai's willing hand in his own, holding it dearly. "Fai."

Something in the way he said it made Kurogane bristle.

"It's alright." Fai turned back to him, letting Ashura keep his hand, Kurogane noticed. "Ashura, this is Kurogane. He knows…everything."

Ashura's gaze softened, though Fai didn't see it. "Yuui, then." Ashura guided him inside, wrapping an arm around his shoulders that Kurogane would have liked to break. "Please come inside quickly. We've been having pests about lately. We'll talk in the parlor."

Kurogane closed the door behind himself.

Ashura released Fai once they reached what Kurogane assumed was the parlor. Cream colored sofas and matching round wicker chairs surrounded a long, glass coffee table, the room lit by the afternoon sun shining through a patio door, its curtains drawn aside and tied neatly.

"Please," Ashura said, indicating Kurogane and waving an arm to encompass the seating "have a seat."

Ashura waited for him to do so before continuing, taking his own seat on one of the sofas opposite Kurogane and before Fai could decide where to sit, he reached up for his hand, guiding him down beside him.

"When I heard you'd disappeared, Yuui, I thought the worst. Why didn't you come to me like we'd discussed?"

Fai was ashamed; he couldn't meet Ashura's eyes, looking instead at the hand lying atop his own. "I knew you were going to try to talk me out of…I didn't want to disappoint you…"

"I'm glad you came back." Ashura's hand came to rest atop Fai's head and Fai seemed relieved. Ashura's small smile slid wider. "Now, I do believe your friend is feeling left out. Perhaps we should move on and, if I may, jump to the conclusion that you came to me knowing that Fei Wong has gotten himself in a tizzy trying to collapse his Chicagoan empire."

Fai met Ashura's eyes this time and his determination seemed to surprise the older man. "We actually came to ask if you know where he is right now."

Ashura seemed to be contemplating Fai's request but finally answered him. "I'm to meet him tonight in fact, at the place we both know well. Perhaps you'd prefer if I didn't go…" His gaze slid to Kurogane and back to Fai.

"I'll take your place." Fai affirmed and Ashura looked away.

"I see. … _Kurogane_, was it?" he asked, his eyes falling on Kurogane across the way, but Kurogane couldn't actually tell if he'd changed the subject or not.

"Ashura?" Fai asked, not sure how to respond.

"I can't decide if this is surprising, or merely the inevitable outcome of the events that led us here."

"Ashura…" Fai's quiet voice was nearly a whisper. "Kurogane's first name is Youou. Kurogane is the boy that Fai saw that day in the drugstore window."

Ashura's eyes widened, more disbelieving than astonished, Kurogane guessed, but they turned to look at him just the same and Kurogane figured he'd better defend his honor because he could already see Ashura coming to the conclusion that he'd lied to Fai…or _Yuui_…just to string him along.

"My mother took me with her to that drugstore to meet with the owner."

Ashura turned back to Fai, gripping his hand. "Yuui, I know you want to stand up to Fei Wong, as well you should, but you weren't meant to do this." Ashura stood, pulling Fai up with him. "I did not ask you to visit me so that I could talk you out of killing yourself. There was…something that I wanted to share with you. Will you join me?"

Fai nodded and Kurogane stood, intent on following them. If they ended up in a bedroom, that _Ashura_ was going to miss his appointment for a different reason.

They followed Ashura up the winding staircase and down a hallway toward the rear of the house. Turning into another hall, they came upon a unique feature: the upper half of the house's outer wall was transparent, allowing observers from the hallway to look down into the greenhouse as if from an observatory.

It was either the most impressive…or the most outlandish…sight Kurogane had ever seen; a spring green lawn surrounded by multi-colored flowers with a line of lush green bushes backed with leafy trees to the left. There was even a round, white tea table with two chairs on a circular brick platform.

Kurogane was confused. Had Ashura built all of this for Fai? Had he planned on living in wonderland with him like some fairytale?

"Ashura…it's…"

Ashura silenced Fai, a hand on his shoulder turning him back to look down on the greenhouse.

"Watch."

The simplicity of his statement drew Kurogane in as well and they both stared down at the serene scene below, waiting with bated breath for some expected, unknown event.

Nothing happened for a few moments, making Kurogane wonder what it was he was supposed to be watching for; and the thought did enter his mind that it was nothing that they were meant to see but were merely wasting time while someone Ashura had called for arrived, but then suddenly a dog bolted out from the tree line, racing into the open. It was sleek, black and brown; a Doberman, purebred probably. Its tongue flopped out of its mouth as it looked back over its shoulder toward the trees and Kurogane followed its gaze back, squinting unknowingly to see more clearly across the distance.

It was only seconds before the brush was disturbed again and this time it was a person who ran into the clearing. The sound Kurogane's hand made as it slapped the glass, supporting his weight as he leaned forward in shock, sounded loudly in the stillness but Fai scarcely seemed to notice.

The man below them seemed to move in slow motion, his silky blonde hair, tied into a low ponytail flying around his shoulder and despite the distance, Kurogane could have sworn he could see the sparkle of clear blue in his eyes. He was laughing, looking back over his shoulder where another dog, another Doberman, was running to his side. Even the brilliant afternoon sun, shining down on him through the clear walls around him seemed to surround him in light. Seeing Sakura and Syaoran's Fai had been nothing like this; this froze the beating heart in his chest.

Kurogane's gaze snapped to the blonde standing next to him. Fai…no, _his_ Fai was _Yuui_… and Yuui's eyes were wide and terrified and awed and shimmering with unshed tears, his hands pressing against the barrier before him.

"_Fai_." he whispered.

His brother was alive, _alive_ and well and _happy_ and looking down on him was the survivor that Kurogane had come to love, looking at the vision below like the twisted reflection in a shattered mirror looking out at the normal world.

And Kurogane understood something in that moment. Fai…_Yuui_…had nearly killed himself to be together with the person that _Ashura_ had kept hidden from him all these years. When the only thing he had had to cling to was the memory of his twin, Ashura had watched him suffer and perpetuated that suffering with every reassuring smile and gesture of kindness. Countless times he could have spared him the feelings that had driven him to that cliff in the rain that Kurogane would never forget…and he'd _chosen_ not to.

And rage flooded through him.

Kurogane surged forward, grabbing the dark-haired man by the shirt front and yanking him forward. "What the hell is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "How could you do this to him – all these years! What kind of person could stand by, pretending to be his _friend_ and keeping away from him the only thing he ever cared about!"

"Ashura?" Fai's voice was small and weak as he turned toward the man that he had anchored so much of his childhood to. "_Why?_" The tears spilled over. "How could you let me think that you had…that he was _dead_?"

Ashura pulled himself away from Kurogane. "Yuui," he said, firm and patient "you have to understand. When I discovered that Fai was alive, I took a great risk in not performing my duty. If Fei Wong had ever discovered what I'd done, not only would I be in danger, but Fai as well. I _couldn't_ tell you that he was alive. You _had_ to believe that he was dead or someone would have gotten suspicious. You have to believe me; I wanted to tell you so many times. I wanted to take you away from that but I wasn't…in a position to save you."

Fai brought his hands up, staring at them, watching them shake with emotion. "Every time…that you touched me…I could see those hands…cutting him apart."

Ashura seemed to have come up short on words to placate him. "I'm so sorry."

Fai too, fell short of words and turned back to the overlook, touching his hand to the glass softly. "Fai..." The tracks of tears down Fai's cheeks … down _Yuui's_ cheeks… ran like rivers and there was nothing Kurogane could do or say. And he aimed the frustration that stemmed from that straight at _Ashura_.

"Yuui…" Ashura seemed hesitant and irritation flared in Kurogane again as he turned back for whatever the man was about to say next. "Your brother doesn't remember anything … even you." The pain in Fai's eyes was strong as the information sank in and Ashura turned himself toward the glass, looking down on the twin below. "The technical term for it is _dissociative amnesia_. In layman's terms, it means that a tragic event has happened and his mind has blocked it out."

"He doesn't…remember me?" Fai…Yuui did not turn to look at Ashura.

"The memories are still there..." Ashura clarified. "and from time to time they still try to surface – whenever he sees his own reflection or certain scenes in movies…"

"And let me guess," Kurogane interrupted "you've tried to keep those times to a minimum."

"Yes." Ashura's answer was direct. "I kept him waiting, Yuui…_for you_." Ashura pressed a button on a small space of wall that sectioned the observatory glass into two and Fai, seeing him, threw himself at him in sudden panic.

"Don't!" he pleaded, clinging to the man's arm desperately but Ashura ignored him entirely.

"Fai, would you please come upstairs. There's someone here I'd like you to meet."

Down below, Fai looked up at them and Yuui shied away.

"Don't tell him please!" Yuui begged.

Kurogane didn't know what to say so he came forward, laying a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Yuui whirled around and Kurogane felt helpless in the face of his desperation. "He's so happy like this. I don't want him to remember it! _Please!_" He gripped Kurogane's sleeves in white-knuckled fists but Kurogane had no time to answer him because behind them all an elevator door slid open with a _swish_.

Kurogane turned to face the twin who truly belonged to the name he had called so many times. He looked so much like _his_ Fai…like his _Yuui_ but only on the surface. His eyes were light and carefree and curious and his smile was sweet and honest and Kurogane understood …Yuui's… fear; that it all would vanish the moment he remembered the horrible things that had happened to him – the moment he realized that his brother had lived through them alone.

Yuui was hiding behind him and Fai was standing in front of him - and getting that alone through his head was determined to give Kurogane a headache. Fai tilted his head to the side. Obviously he could see that someone was hiding behind him. Kurogane blushed slightly and reached an arm behind him to shoo Yuui out. It was too late to back out now.

Fai's smile slid away as he saw the one who shared his face step out from behind the man before him. It was clear that he didn't understand what was going on, but he was trying to figure it out.

He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but nothing came out and he continued to stare until finally a single word formed on his lips, whispered in breath, insubstantial as the forming memory behind it.

"Yuui…"

Kurogane wanted very much not to be between them. Yuui seemed to have frozen, unable to reply, or even meet his brother's eyes. He was lost. And what was he supposed to say, Kurogane wondered. But the longer he stood silent, the more Fai seemed to be connecting the dots in his head, his eyes widening and the growing look of uncertainty, of insecurity, told Kurogane that all of the memories that Yuui had wanted to spare him were materializing behind his eyes.

When the tears began to flow from Fai's eyes, tears he didn't even seem to have noticed, Ashura approached him. "Perhaps we should give them some privacy." Ashura suggested, and he placed a guiding hand against the back of Kurogane's shoulder, leading him away.

Kurogane looked back, but it didn't seem as though Yuui had noticed him leaving. Fai crumpled to the floor, a hand covering his mouth, and Yuui ran to him, embracing him tightly.

oo

Ashura called for a butler to serve tea as he sat across from Kurogane in the parlor, his legs crossed, hands folded business-like over his knee.

Kurogane had never had tea with someone he wanted to beat the crap out of before. He understood all of Ashura's excuses but he just couldn't get past the feeling that if _he_ had been in the same situation, he would have rearranged hell and moved the goddamned earth to have saved them both and despite all of Ashura's ready answers, there must have been _something_ that he didn't do; a line he could have crossed, but failed to.

Fai's…_Yuui's_…Yuui…**Yuui's** words kept replaying in his head, a perfect recording of the most horrific story he had ever heard. _"…And it's in my head! How Ashura had to cut him up, in tiny pieces and carry it all away in a bag and burn it in the incinerator."_ Ashura had claimed he wasn't in a "position" to save Yuui, but he had let him think that, had let that thought settle in a child's mind, let his imagination see it happen, over and over. It was disgusting.

When the tea came, Ashura sighed as he lifted his cup. "You don't have to keep giving me that look." he said over the rim. "Your disapproval is duly noted."

Kurogane accidently kicked the coffee table when he moved, spilling some of the tea still on the tray. "This isn't _disapproval_!" he barked. "It's disgust! Fai…"

"Yuui." Ashura interrupted to correct him calmly.

"Yuui" Kurogane continued, never skipping a beat "trusted you. He turned to _you_ when the nightmares of his dead brother were making him sick and you let him think it. What kind of sick person can lie to a little kid while they're pretending to care about them? What kind of person can just stand there and let that kind of shit happen?"

"Finished?" Ashura asked, uncrossing his legs and setting his cup on its tray in front of him. "It's easy for you to say that I could have done things differently, done more, or less. It may be admirable to think that way, but it is seldom effective. If I were to throw my life away for every child I'd seen in trouble, there would be nothing left very quickly. Despite how you may think of me, _Youou _Kurogane, I care about those boys very much and I have always had their best interest in mind."

"Theirs…or _yours_?" Kurogane questioned.

Ashura's smile was acquiescent as he stood, looking down on Kurogane to speak. "This must have been a stressful day for you. Perhaps we could continue our conversation at a later date. I do look forward to knowing you better but alas, I have some business to attend to so if you get hungry, please don't hesitate to ask cook for anything you like and if you spend the night, the butler will show you to the guest room."

Ashura bowed, graciously ignoring Kurogane's snarl, and left him there to do god knew what.

Kurogane felt like breaking his tea cups just for the satisfaction of it but he settled for giving himself a private tour of his house instead…he _had_ left him alone in it, after all.

oo

Kurogane figured he'd start at the bottom and work his way up. It took him a while, but eventually, he found a stairwell leading down. Of course, the door at the bottom was locked tight with a digitized lock that Kurogane didn't have a chance at hacking. He tried for a while, of course, but it really was a waste of his time.

Coming up the stairwell, he found the butler waiting in the doorway for him.

"Shall I get the master to open that door for you?" the man asked. Kurogane couldn't tell if his condescending tone was intentional or not.

"You can't open it?" Kurogane returned, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I cannot." the butler answered him.

"What's he got down there?" Kurogane figured he'd go ahead and ask as long as they were on the topic.

"It is the private lab belonging to the physician that master Ashura keeps on retainer."

"Oh yeah? What's he do in there?"

The butler gave him an unimpressed stare and answered drolly: "Take master Fai's temperature."

Kurogane frowned. It was obvious he wasn't about to get any answers out of this guy.

"He around; the doctor?" Kurogane elaborated, his interest sounding dull.

"He is on holiday." the butler replied.

Kurogane nodded slowly and sidestepped the man, ignoring him as he made for the staircase.

The butler didn't follow, but Kurogane knew he was watching his back as he ascended the stairs.

Yuui and Fai were nowhere to be seen and Kurogane didn't want to interrupt them so he wandered the halls for a bit and then found himself back on the couch in the parlor. There wasn't even a tv or a computer in the room.

He found himself thinking of the woman who'd given him directions in California; how fast she'd opened her door. Had she opened it so quickly for years and years driving herself crazy wondering if the next person to knock might be the one coming to tell her her sons had finally been found? He couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

When the last rays of sunlight dimmed and gave way to darkness, Kurogane got up and found the kitchen. There was no cook inside, so he helped himself to the refrigerator. He made himself a sandwich with prepackaged meats because a stray morbid thought that popped into his head when he found a container of leftover meatloaf, likely unfounded and colored by his distaste for Ashura, steered him away from anything homemade.

Afterward, he sat on the couch again and waited. It was several hours before anyone passed through the parlor; well on the way to midnight, when the butler came to show him to the guest room.

Kurogane was led to a bedroom down a small downstairs hall where the butler turned to leave him for the night.

"Hey." Kurogane called, stopping the man short. "Take me to see those twins."

The butler turned back and seemed to consider his request for a long moment until finally he nodded once and took leave, leading Kurogane up the stairs to a closed door where he left him with a nod to the door.

Kurogane watched him go and settled his hand on the doorknob, listening for sounds from inside. The room seemed to be quiet, so rather than knock he tried the door and found it unlocked.

The light from the hall flooded the room, illuminating the two figures curled toward one another on the large bed inside. Their hands were clasped together between them.

Kurogane stared at them for a moment before gently easing the door closed. It crossed his mind to wake Fai…_Yuui_. He had been so determined to face Fei Wong and tonight was likely his last chance to do so but he was hesitant to cross that threshold; to disturb the scene inside. So he returned to the guest room but that felt wrong, too. Eventually, he settled for watching at one of the windows that overlooked the front lawn for any sign of activity, like Ashura leaving to keep the meeting that was supposed to take place soon. He was just bored. He felt displaced.

About an hour later, in the still silence of the darkened house, Kurogane heard footsteps descend the stairs. He slipped away from the faint light of the curtained window and watched as the slim figure made for the door Kurogane assumed led into the garage.

The figure paused outside the door, messing with the lock on the wall, too occupied to notice Kurogane moving closer. He knew who it was long before he could make out the man's frame clearly, he'd known who it was the moment he'd noticed their approach.

Fai, _his_ Fai - and thoughts like that were growing tiresome to Kurogane, was waiting for the hacking devise he'd plugged into the lock to find the right combination of numbers to allow him passage. Kurogane wondered briefly where he'd got the thing but he had a sneaking suspicion that it had been tucked away with the "goodies" he'd gotten from Subaru. That duffle bag was sitting on the floor at the blonde's feet.

When the devise finished and the indicator light on the lock changed from red to green, he pulled it free and leaned over to tuck it back into the duffle bag and bumped into Kurogane's solid form behind him.

The smaller body before him jerked forward with a startled gasp and whirled around to face him, pressing himself back against the door behind him.

Kurogane was unimpressed. "Going somewhere?"

A sigh of relief was followed quickly by a hesitance Kurogane could see in the way the blonde turned from him partially and held the devise awkwardly to his chest.

"Kuro-rock…will you do something for me? … … Call me Yuui."

"Idiot."

_Yuui_ met his gaze and Kurogane consented.

"Yuui."

Yuui smiled, looking down at nothing, it seemed, an expression full of sorrow and relief. "It's strange. I feel like I've just been brought back to life."

"Yuui."

Kurogane repeated, finding the sound an odd fit to the man standing before him. But it didn't matter to Kurogane what he was called. Kurogane brought a hand to the blonde's cheek, pulling it away to let some of the golden strands of his hair slip through his fingers until he caught them.

"Yuui."

Kurogane fisted the hand gently in the mess of blonde hair and leaned down to meet the man he'd grown to love.

"Yuui."

-oOo-

Yuui threw up the slider switch, instantly illuminating the garage as they stepped inside.

Kurogane had to squint at first from the sudden change in lighting.

The vehicle closest to them was a sleek, black town car. Kurogane followed Yuui around it and through the large space next to it to the motorcycle parked at the far end.

"Have you ever driven one?"

"I used to have one." Kurogane affirmed. "But it was junk and that might as well be alien technology by comparison." The new, shiny black motorcycle before them was operated by touch pad. Kurogane couldn't see Ashura on it.

Yuui tossed him a helmet, affixing one himself. "Good enough." He took his seat, leaving room for Kurogane in front of him, his duffle bag held securely across his lap.

Kurogane was beginning to get a bad feeling about that bag.

Taking the spot in front of Yuui, Kurogane tried to remember how he'd seen people on tv start one of these; they were in all the new movies. He just hoped that Ashura hadn't programmed it for voice activation or something ridiculous like that.

He pressed his right palm to the touch pad and held it there for several seconds, pleased when the lights appeared around his hand and the engine started with a quiet, steady hum. As he slowly eased the machine toward the garage door, its motion sensor kicked in the automatic open feature, pulling it up out of their way.

Yuui's hands were clutching the sides of his coat and Kurogane couldn't help but grin as he opened up the throttle and the bike shot out of the garage and down the path to the street. Yuui pressed tightly against his back, his arms locking around Kurogane's waist as he nailed the turn onto the street and sped back toward the inner city. He had to admit, Ashura picked good toys. It was the smoothest ride Kurogane had ever experienced and, getting past the controls, he wouldn't mind having one.

As the city lights began to surround them, Kurogane slowed, careful not to draw attention. He followed Yuui's directions to an empty lot, fenced off and posted with no trespassing signs. They walked Ashura's motorcycle through a break in the fence. There was no artificial lighting in the enclosure but Kurogane could see from the occasional light of the overcast moon that it was far from abandoned. In fact, they were surrounded by a virtual cardboard town and, one by one, people began to venture out to investigate their arrival.

Kurogane kept his gaze forward. He had no idea what Yuui was doing here but neither was he going to ask. Ahead of them, the front flap of a large box was thrown up and two children ran across the yard to meet them. Yuui sat his bag down to welcome the girl, folding his arms over her shoulders when she threw one arm around his waist. In the other she was holding a small doll tight to her chest. The boy, a teen with dark chestnut hair, stopped short.

"You're ok!" the girl cried into Yuui's waist and the blonde smiled gently, petting her hair.

"Of course."

"Some asshole said you killed yourself." the boy said, crossing his arms over his chest and Yuui looked up to him.

"I'm sorry. I had to leave. And I'm leaving again soon. I won't be back."

"I'm taking good care of Hikaru." the girl declared, showing him her doll.

"I'm glad."

"Where are you going?" the boy asked, uncrossing his arms and loosening up a bit.

"Japan." Yuui answered happily.

The boy wrinkled his nose with distaste. "What's in _Japan_?"

Yuui laughed and jerked a thumb in Kurogane's direction. "This guy."

The boy nodded vaguely, turning and looking hard at Kurogane, sizing him up.

"Look," Yuui said, changing the subject and laying a hand on the motorcycle "I need to stash this here for a while. I'll be back for it soon, ok?"

"Fancy ride." the boy commented in Kurogane's general direction.

"It's not his." Yuui corrected. "We're just borrowing it."

The boy nodded again and came forward to take it from Kurogane. As he led it into their box, Yuui knelt down to speak to the girl again.

"I won't ever see you again?" she asked, tearfully.

"I can't say that." Yuui replied. "Ever is a very long time. I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Nobody does. That's why I want you to promise me something."

The girl leaned closer to him conspiratorially.

"Does that funny pervert man still walk in the park every Sunday?"

Kurogane raised an eyebrow.

The girl nodded.

"I asked around and I think that man is really a good person. So I want you to ask him to adopt you, ok? But take Ryu with you, just in case. Promise?"

The girl nodded firmly, hanging on his every word. "Ok, I will."

"We'll keep your bike for you." the boy said, interrupting them as he approached and Yuui nodded, standing with his duffle bag.

"Thanks. We shouldn't be too long."

"If you don't come back, I'm selling it." the boy threatened.

"Yes, sir!" Yuui returned, clicking his heels together and saluting. Yuui spun on his heel and walked away.

With one last look behind them, Kurogane followed.

"What kind of advice is that to give a kid?" he wanted to know. "To go looking for perverts."

Yuui turned to him and smiled. "Nobody's perfect."

* * *

Post whatevers: KuroxYuui... It's not my intention to confuse people but it had to be this way and afterall, this is not Horitsuba. Little girl with her doll and the "pervert" are from Angelic Layer and Ryu is Ryuuoh. As always, if you liked, please review. Ja!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle is the intellecutal property of CLAMP.

Author's Note: Well, here it is: the conclusion of All That I Am. I want to thank everyone who stuck with it and made it this far and everyone who kindly reviewed. I'm so happy because this was the longest fic I've written thus far and I delt with a lot of things in this fic that I've never written about before. Since this is the ending, please review for me and let me know what you thought. I still wanted to write a small companion piece for this dealing with Subaru and co. but I can't make any promises.

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**Part 2, Chapter 5**

The building that Yuui led him to was a three story structure that took up two lots in a neighborhood that looked like its respectful days had passed by some time ago.

"It used to be an office building," Yuui told him conversationally as they made their way inside by way of a deserted alley and the use of that digital lock hacker he'd borrowed from Subaru "a very long time ago – before the neighborhood went downhill. According to historical books, it housed mainly psychiatric offices, if you can believe that."

"You've had way too much time on your hands." Kurogane responded drolly.

Yuui shrugged. "It happens when you work nights and don't sleep much. I've been thinking of taking up a hobby." he added, trying, Kurogane guessed, to keep his mind otherwise occupied. "Did you know that my brother plays the piano?"

Kurogane offered him a noise of acknowledgement. He didn't really think that he'd sat with Ashura and had a heart to heart, did he?

"He's very good at it, too." Yuui went on. "And apparently he's a great cook."

"Tai chi."

"Huh?" Yuui looked to him, confused.

"You should take up tai chi." Kurogane clarified.

"…why? I mean, what makes you suggest tai chi?"

"You have the form for it."

Yuui paused a moment, then reverted to his original train of thought. "Do you think if I learned to play the flute it would sound nice alongside Fai's piano?"

Kurogane frowned. "Who cares how it would sound next to someone else's music?"

"Well, I was hoping _you_ would."Yuui turned to look at him briefly. "I mean, what kind of music do you like?"

Kurogane shrugged. "I don't know. Rock, I guess."

"There's no piano in rock." Yuui replied flatly.

"That's not necessarily true, do you even…" Kurogane caught himself mid-sentence, suspicion rising suddenly "what are you saying?"

"Of course Fai will live with us." Yuui answered matter-of-factly.

"When did you decide on that?" Kurogane demanded in return.

"About the time that Fai told me he was in love with Ashura and was planning on staying with him."

Kurogane sighed, looking around a little to distract himself from the conversation. "Don't you think that's a little overbearing?"

Yuui stopped and pulled open a door, revealing a stairwell on the other side and paused long enough to glare lightly at him before passing through.

They were heading down the stairs.

At the next level, Yuui swung the door open and stood back for him to pass. "Check this floor, there's something else I have to do. I'll be right back."

As he turned to leave, Kurogane caught his arm, rooting him fast.

"What?" he demanded to know. "What aren't you telling me?"

Yuui smiled brightly over one shoulder. "Just checking the basement. There won't be anyone bad down there. I promise."

Kurogane let him go with a grunt. "Make it quick."

"Lightning." Yuui agreed, nodding and, as if to demonstrate, he picked up his pace, disappearing quickly out of Kurogane's line of sight.

Kurogane stood there for a moment on the landing. The blonde was obviously lying, there probably wasn't anything worth searching on this level; he just didn't want him going with him down there. But Kurogane wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible and he wanted to believe that the blonde wouldn't add an "I promise" to a lie so simple as that. He could argue Yuui's motives later.

That decided, Kurogane decided to search the hallway of doors that lay ahead of him. If Yuui hadn't gotten back by the time he finished, he'd go look for him.

Most of the doors were open already and the rooms beyond were empty and simplistic; concrete walls and a concrete floor. The doors themselves were uniform gray with a small rectangular window at eye level, all made of the same metal. The most boring floor in the entire building, no doubt. Even the doors he had to swing open, opened into empty rooms. The most outstanding feature Kurogane had seen thus far had been a chair sitting haphazardly in the hallway.

When he grabbed the handle of the third of only three closed doors, pushing forward and was met with resistance, Kurogane frowned. Looking into the room through the small window, he felt a stab of panic at the sight inside. Curled into a ball on the floor against the far wall, was a small child.

Kurogane's eyes widened with horror as he realized what he was seeing, where he was at. "Hey!" he yelled, beating on the door with his fist. "Hey!"

The body inside didn't stir.

"Shit!" Kurogane cursed, trying the handle again, yanking it to no avail. Taking a step back, he kicked the door as hard as he could. It didn't give so he kicked it again, and kept kicking it until finally, the lock broke and the door swung open.

He ran across the room and dropped down next to the prone figure. It was a small boy, no older than six or seven. A mop of unruly brown hair covered much of his face from view and his green and tan shirt was torn a little at the shoulder. Pressing two fingers into his neck, Kurogane searched for a pulse. He found it quickly enough, erratic, but there.

Kurogane lay a hand on his small shoulder and shook him, but his attempt to wake the boy only resulted in his head flopping back, his hair falling back to reveal a face that caused Kurogane to still as he stared down at the child.

Kurogane didn't know what to think. The child looked almost exactly like Syaoran – a several years younger version of Syaoran, the boy from another world who had traveled on with his own versions of Yuui and himself. It could just be a coincidence that this boy happened to resemble him but somehow, after everything he had seen, that was hard to believe.

But whether he believed it or not, this was just a little kid. He lived in this world and he knew nothing of feather hunting space travelers or princesses or talking rabbits. He was only a kid and if he didn't get him out of here, he'd be a dead kid.

Kurogane hoisted the small body into his arms and carried him into the hallway where he found Yuui looking for him by the stairwell. He tightened his hold on the boy and ran the distance to him.

Yuui lowered the duffle bag from its position slung over his shoulder and gave him a look that seemed to fall somewhere between apprehensive and haunted.

"There's something wrong with him." Kurogane explained, showing the child to Yuui.

The look of horror that passed across his face did not go unnoticed by Kurogane. Yuui hesitated, but only a second, and, dropping his bag, he reached out, pulling the child's eye lids apart to see his irises.

"Blue-9, maybe?" he guessed, reaching down again for his bag. "He was too much hassle to move so they left him to die. He's just drugged, though. He should be fine."

Yuui turned from him and stepped forward. "Come on, we've got to hurry."

_Just drugged?_ Kurogane tightened his grip on the boy, his anger flaring.

oo

The two ran up the stairs to the second floor where Yuui threw open the door and promptly tripped when the distant bang of an explosion followed immediately by the ground underfoot shaking violently.

Kurogane was thrown against the wall of the stairwell as Yuui hit the floor.

"Shit!" the blonde cursed in despair, clawing his way quickly to his feet. "Hurry!" he shouted, already running.

Kurogane ran after him, quickly catching up and now that he was looking at it, he noticed that the duffle bag Yuui carried had suddenly lost most of its mass. "What the _fuck_ possessed you to blow up the whole goddamned building – while we were _**in it!**_"

"I'm sorry!" Yuui yelled back, cringing as another explosion rocked the building, forcing them to brace themselves against the wall. "They went off early!"

Kurogane hoisted the boy over one shoulder and grabbed Yuui's arm with the other hand, pulling him away from the wall as he ran down the hallway.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know." Yuui cried back. "Ashura was supposed to meet him in an office but he didn't give me the room number!"

"If anyone was here, they'd be leaving by now." Kurogane pointed out. "Is there an elevator? Was that the only set of stairs?"

"There's an elevator around the corner, I think. There aren't any more stairs."

As they raced around the corner, to the tune of what sounded like a structural collapse rather than another explosion, Kurogane heard a man's voice call out from somewhere close.

"_Someone! In here! Help me!"_

Yuui heard it too and both came to a halt, searching the various open doors around them.

"_Is anyone out there?"_ the voice called desperately and Kurogane pinpointed the sound to a door two rooms down and to their left.

They bolted for the room and arrived in the doorway together to find the space, a typical office, ransacked. A laptop lay on the floor, torn open and gutted, a screen in the wall was smashed, a safe was lying open on its side, a hearty fire burning inside. At the center of the room, a large wooden desk had been tipped over and pinned underneath was a figure they both recognized.

Fei Wong Reed had lost the villainous air Kurogane had seen about him at the auction. In his distress, he more closely resembled a desperate old man than someone to be feared. His right leg had been crushed under the weight of the desk and he was bleeding from another wound hidden beneath him. Kurogane guessed that he would have escaped by now if his only problem had been the desk.

Fei Wong looked up at them, recognizing Yuui instantly and the look of relief that crossed his face made Kurogane sick.

"Fai! Fai, help me. Come and help me. Fai!"

But Yuui remained motionless. Glancing over at him, he seemed to have frozen, staring down at the man asking for his help blankly, as though he hadn't even heard him.

Kurogane didn't want to rush him, but looking out the window across the room, he noticed a plume of smoke rising against the building.

"Fai!" Fei Wong yelled, a touch of anger making its way through this time. "Are you going to leave me here to die? Is that the sort of person I've raised?"

Yuui's eyes suddenly focused, as if something inside had snapped.

"The person _you've raised_?" he asked quietly.

"If not for me, you'd have been nothing but a worthless whore!" Fei Wong countered, obviously loosing site of his best interest in his ire. "It was only because of the extra attention I allowed you that you're even standing there!"

"_**Attention!"**_ Yuui screamed and before Kurogane could stop him he'd crossed the distance between himself and Fei Wong and struck out, kicking him hard across the side of the face.

His foot was in the air, ready to stomp down on the man when Kurogane looped an arm around his waist and pulled him back; not an easy task holding the child in one arm and struggling with the flailing blonde with the other.

"_**I was kidnapped!"**_ Yuui screamed from Kurogane's grasp. _**"And raped!**_ _And forced to give blow jobs in __**pickup trucks!"**_

Kurogane dragged him back out of the room. God what a stupid idea it had been to come here. What had Yuui been thinking would happen when he met Fei Wong again? This was absolutely the last time that he let the blonde make stupid decisions and then followed behind without a word. Grunting against Yuui's struggling, Kurogane wondered how it could have sounded like such an important thing to do. And now the building was going to burn down around them and the entire idea had gone down the toilet.

"We have to go now!" he shouted and Yuui stilled as he made eye contact with Fei Wong across the doorway.

"You can't just leave me here! I can't die here. I _can't_!" he insisted. "You _have _to _do _something!"

Kurogane felt the weight of the boy in his arms, of Yuui at his side, and tugged him away. There were sirens sounding below them. It was going to be too late for them if they didn't leave _now_. But Yuui pulled free of him, going back to the doorway.

"Why? Tell me _**why**_!" he yelled, desperately.

"_**Move the desk!**_" Fei Wong cried in return.

"We don't have time for this!" Kurogane shouted, but Yuui was rooted to the spot.

The building shook again, a gigantic fissure racing up the wall nearby and this time, Kurogane grabbed Yuui's wrist and pulled him away, making him stumble just to keep up as he ran back down the hall toward the stairs.

The answer to that question was not worth more than Yuui's life.

oo

Smoke had begun to seep into the stairwell and they coughed as they took the stairs two and three at a time.

Throwing open the door at the ground floor, Kurogane was glad the handle hadn't been hot, because he hadn't thought about it until after he'd touched it but opening the door had thrown them into a cloud of smoke. Kurogane grabbed hold of Yuui as they both choked, trying not to lose him as he lost all vision. Yuui was still holding onto the duffle bag, so Kurogane was forced to hold him at the wrist. Eyes burning from the smoke, Kurogane squeezed them shut and allowed Yuui to take the lead, pulling him through the halls in search of the door they'd entered by.

The heat was rising fast and Kurogane felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. Yuui tripped and when they both hit the floor, Kurogane felt it give way dangerously beneath their weight. He found getting to his feet more of a challenge than it should have been as a wave of dizziness overtook him, but he managed to hoist the child into his arms again and stumble on, finding Yuui in front of him already on his feet.

He knew that Yuui couldn't tell where they were anymore. They were just running until they found a wall in their way; hoping it would be an outer wall.

Another structural collapse sounded behind them. Kurogane had thought the building would have been sturdier than this. There had seemed to be so much concrete in the lower level. But then, he had no idea what Yuui had gotten from Subaru.

All of a sudden, Kurogane slammed into Yuui. Apparently they'd found the wall…or it had found them. Yuui erupted into a choking cough and doubled over, falling to the floor. Kurogane heard him rip open the zipper of the duffle bag and a second later, he was pushing against his leg frantically.

"_Get back!_"

His warning brought on another gasping coughing fit, but Kurogane ignored it, pulling him to his feet and finding a wall to run along. He didn't stop running until he heard the explosion he'd known would be coming.

Yuui had blown out the wall and turning back, Kurogane swore he could feel a rush of air. The newfound hope sparked a surge of adrenaline in him and he pulled the blonde back in that direction.

Kurogane felt the chill night air before his blurred vision brought the alley outside, beyond the new, gaping hole in the wall, into focus. Yuui was already climbing over the pile of rubble, coughing at every movement, his lungs like Kurogane's, gulping in the fresh oxygen desperately.

Kurogane followed close behind, trying to find adequate footing since he couldn't crawl while carrying the boy. He was doing fine until the great hunks of concrete beneath his left foot gave way. Unfortunately, his weight had been on that foot at the time and when the rubble collapsed beneath him and shifted, a shot of pain lanced up his leg. He tried to yank his leg free, resulting in another burst of pain, but it was trapped.

When Yuui turned back, calling out to him, Kurogane thought fast. He didn't want Yuui to stick around there. He'd be arrested, or worse, if he found out he was trapped, he might not leave and there was the kid to think about, if all the smoke in his lungs hadn't killed him already. Kurogane didn't know. He couldn't tell if he was carrying a corpse or if there was still hope for the boy. So when Yuui called out to him, Kurogane moved the child around and held him out to the blonde.

"Take the kid!"

Yuui reached out, taking the boy into his arms.

"Go! Go, I'm right behind you!"

Yuui nodded and ran and watching him go, Kurogane felt a weight lift from his chest. Now he only needed to worry about himself. Yanking his foot free didn't seem to be working so he bent over to try to move the rubble instead.

"_**Kurogane!**_"

Kurogane's head snapped up to find Yuui, a horrified look on his face. He hadn't gone far. He must have been waiting for him. He lay the child down and ran back to him, clawing his way back inside over the jagged rubble.

"Get out of here!" Kurogane yelled, anger coloring the sudden fear that had sprang up at his core.

Yuui shook his head but the motion quickly dissolved into a coughing fit and Kurogane reached out, gripping his upper arm and threw him back as hard as he could. "Don't be stupid! You have to take that kid and get out of here. Didn't you say you weren't gonna let that guy make any more tragedies?"

"That's not _exactly _what I meant!" Yuui cried. "I won't leave you! I won't!"

"I'm not planning on _dying_ here, you idiot!" Kurogane shouted back, instigating his own coughing fit. He felt light headed. If he passed out he would die there; right there with freedom in sight and that idiot was just stupid enough to stick around and die right along with him. He thought maybe they were at the rear of the building. Even if he wanted the firefighters to find him, they never would. He tried to see the boy lying in the alley but his eyes were watering from the smoke billowing out around him and he couldn't bring his vision into focus properly. "If you're going to stick around, help me!"

Yuui scrambled forward again and started tugging at one of the pieces of concrete against his leg.

"No." Kurogane said, pulling him up. "Find something to pry at it with."

He paused, meeting Kurogane's eyes briefly and then his own eyes widened. Yuui turned, leaping over the rubble to land on the floor behind Kurogane, who twisted himself around to find Yuui throwing small pieces of the broken concrete at the edge of the pile out of his way at an incredible pace.

"What are you doing!"

"It's under here!" Yuui yelled back, frantically throwing and rolling the rubble out of his way. "There's a crowbar in the duffle bag!"

It only took him seconds to find and he yanked it free with a good degree of difficulty, tearing into it to find the necessary object.

Yuui threw the bag outside on his way back to Kurogane, wasting no time wedging the crowbar into place.

They pushed down on it together, giving it all their combined strength, and managed to lift the slab pressing against Kurogane's leg just enough for him to pull it free. The rubble slammed back into place as they let it go, shifting again under their feet but Kurogane was already clear of the collapse, propelled forward by the motion of pulling himself free and Yuui was much quicker, jumping into the alley with a single, impressive leap.

Yuui shoved the duffle bag's straps up his arm and picked up the child again, moving to Kurogane's left to offer his support on the side of his injured leg as they moved into the network of alleys, away from the commotion on the street.

Kurogane appreciated the silent support but it was faster for him to walk on his own, even if he did have to hobble a bit as they went. He didn't think anything was broken, but he thought it was probably fractured.

"Are you ok?" Yuui asked, worry heavy in his voice.

Kurogane nodded. "I'll live."

"That's not the same…" Yuui objected heavily and Kurogane corrected himself.

"I'll be fine."

"I think I'm ready for a peaceful, quiet life now." Yuui muttered in return and silently, Kurogane had to agree.

-oOo-

They stopped several times on the way back to the cardboard town to hide from passing patrol cars - on the lookout for suspicious arsonists, no doubt. Kurogane had never broken the law before he'd met Yuui. It disturbed him to realize just how little he cared about it now…not that he intended to do it again.

On one such stop, Kurogane took a moment to check the child's pulse. Yuui held him loosely as he felt of his neck for it. It was fainter than before but still there, still struggling.

"You're a fighter, aren't you?" Kurogane whispered, resting a hand on the boy's head.

"He looks like Syaoran." Yuui commented but it seemed to Kurogane to hold no more than that; just a statement.

"How long is that drug supposed to last?" Kurogane asked quietly. He knew they couldn't guess when he'd been given it, but if he slept much longer than the drug was supposed to last, he would take him to a hospital, come what may.

Yuui shook his head. "It would vary depending on the individual and someone this young… I don't know. Blue-9 is a knockout drug. After waking, it's followed by a…_fluffy_ feeling and after that wears off most people take a counter drug to stop the negative after effects."

"Which are…?"

"Depression and generally self-harm of some sort."

Kurogane didn't ask how he knew that.

oo

They took the boy back to Ashura's house. Despite the time, the butler seemed to be waiting for them. He let them into the garage wordlessly where they parked Ashura's motorcycle next to his van and further into the house, locking the door behind them.

Kurogane led Yuui to the room Ashura had given him for the night. Yuui lay the child carefully down on the bed and took Kurogane's hands, turning him around until the bed was behind him and gently pushed him down to sit.

In the light, Kurogane could see the strain their excursion had put on the blonde. His hands were cut and scratched, crusted over with blood. His hair was a dirty mess and his pants were torn, a bit of blood showing on one knee. Kurogane reached out for his hands but Yuui slapped him away, his face twisting with immediate regret.

"Sorry." he whispered. "Sorry. … Just wait here a minute, ok?"

Kurogane sighed, running a hand through his hair as he watched the other man leave. He understood. Yuui had erected walls around himself in the form of smiles and games of pretend, but after they'd fallen, there was no putting them up again. He would have to learn how to live without them.

Yuui came back with a basin of water and a first-aid kit and knelt before him. Kurogane wanted to tell him to deal with himself first, but in the state he was in it would only cause an argument and neither one of them had the energy to fight it out.

The blonde set to work carefully removing his left shoe, followed by his sock, before rolling up his pant leg. Kurogane winced when he caught sight of his leg. It was bruised and bloody and swollen. He really hoped he hadn't broken it; it was kind of numb.

Yuui dipped a washcloth in the basin and brought it to his leg, starting at the outer edge and moving toward the center of the area. The water in the basin quickly turned a dirty red. Kurogane knew Yuui could feel him watching. He kept his eyes firmly on the injury, spraying it with antiseptic and wrapping it firmly.

"I'm fine." Kurogane assured him. Yuui had finished his work but remained in place, a hand resting lightly over the bandage. "In a while, I won't even be able to tell it happened."

"It could have been worse." Yuui whispered, staring at it and causing a frown to appear on Kurogane's face.

"Who cares." he returned and reached down, hauling the blonde up by the forearm. "It's already in the past."

He guided Yuui down to sit next to him and reached down, taking the wet cloth to clean his fingers with. Yuui was silent for several long minutes as Kurogane carefully cleaned each finger and sprayed his hands with the antiseptic before reaching for the diminished roll of bandages.

"I had never thought of it like that." he said eventually, his voice small next to Kurogane as the larger man tried to wrap his hands, failing and undoing his attempt to try again.

"What?" Kurogane offered, merely his line said on cue, unneeded but provided to show that he acknowledged the conversation.

"That I had been _raised_ there." Yuui answered, carefully avoiding Kurogane's raised, contemplative gaze. "Whenever I used to think about my childhood, I would try to remember my mother's voice, when she would sing lullabies to my brother and I before bed – which later became trying to _imagine_ her voice the more years that passed but the truth is… I spent most of my childhood in the arms of pedophiles and other prostitutes. The closest I came to a normal childhood was watching old reruns of My Life Without You with my dance instructor…until he ODed." Yuui paused, considering, maybe, whether he shouldn't have said that.

"Growing up is something that just happens." Kurogane grumbled. "It isn't the same as being raised."

Yuui leaned forward, laying his head against Kurogane's shoulder, not comfortably, just exhaustedly pressing his forehead into the other man's solid form. "I just want to push the rewind button and not have left the house last night. Can I do that? Ashura beat us there and the only thing I accomplished was that I blew up my very first building."

"First," Kurogane replied "it was also your _last_ building and second," he added, looking back over his shoulder at the boy lying behind them "that kid might disagree."

Yuui straightened, looking back at the child, thoughtfully.

"Kuro-poi saved him." He turned and grinned at Kurogane. "That hero complex is going to screw you over one of these days."

Kurogane frowned, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. "I don't have a _hero complex_. It's not like I could leave him there."

"Hmm." Yuui leaned over to the boy, tilting his head as he looked down at him with a soft expression. "He really does look just like Syaoran." Yuui hesitated, but Kurogane waited for him to speak. "He's going to go home…if he's ok, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Kurogane answered solemnly, looking at Yuui. "You too."

Yuui looked back at him, more of acceptance and apprehension than resolve in his eyes. "Yeah."

oo

They caught a few hours of sleep on the floor, leaning against the bed and each other until a light knock on the door woke them.

"Um…is anyone in here?"

At the sound of the voice Yuui leapt to his feet. He was at the door within the second, pulling it open. Kurogane was still trying to process the missing warmth at his side.

"Yuui?" Fai's eyes widened as he got a good look at his brother. "Oh my god, Yuui, what happened?"

"Fai." Yuui returned, pulling his twin into his embrace.

"Who is that?" Fai pointed into the room and Kurogane turned back to see the boy lying on the bed behind him.

Apparently he'd woken up at some point and was currently staring at the ceiling with some degree of fascination, an arm reaching out to it as though he were trying to touch it.

Kurogane dragged himself to his feet, a rather painful task, and sat down on the bed to get the child's attention.

"I'll explain everything," Yuui was saying to his brother "but right now, I need to see Ashura. Can you take me to him?"

"Sure." Fai answered, clearly confused and worried for his brother's injuries.

"Kuro-pon, don't leave his side. We don't know how long he's been awake."

"Yeah." Kurogane acknowledged, turning back and nodding to the blonde. Yuui nodded back and ushered his brother out the door, closing it behind them.

When he looked back, he saw that the boy had taken notice of him and was staring at him with some kind of pleading expression. Then he reached out a hand and grabbed Kurogane's shirt in a loose fist.

"I'm really hungry. Can't I eat now? Please?"

A wave of disgust struck Kurogane but he tried not to let it show as he reached down, smoothing down the boy's hair in a gesture he hoped was soothing.

"Sure. Sure you can. Whatever you want. Just wait for those guys to get back, ok?"

The boy nodded, looking up at him with wonder. "I'm hot." he said at length and the disgust surfaced again.

"It'll pass."

The boy was silent for some time, content to just _stare_ at him, unnerving Kurogane who couldn't seem to find any other place to look to distract himself. Eventually he decided that some conversation was called for.

"What's your name, kid?" he asked. Kurogane didn't make a habit of talking to small children. The last time he'd asked a kid their name; they'd started bawling and ran off. It had been a bad day.

The boy continued to stare at him. Kurogane really hoped the drugs wouldn't cause permanent damage. Eventually, though, the boy did answer him.

"It's Syaoran."

That had been Kurogane's first guess.

"My name's Kurogane."

"You're nice." Syaoran said, taking hold of the hem of his shirt.

Kurogane didn't know what to say to that.

"Do you know what happened to you?"

Syaoran looked down shamefully and muttered. "I ran away."

"From where?" Kurogane asked, frowning. "From home?"

Syaoran shook his head. "From the house. I was drawing a picture of Mommy and the lady said she was going to find a new Mommy for me…but I don't want a new Mommy." The boy's eyes filled with tears and Kurogane reached out, hesitating before he lay his hand over the dirty brown locks, rubbing his hair slowly.

"Did your parents die, kid?"

"The car got hit…and they didn't come back from the hospital." the boy's small voice answered.

"She shouldn'ta said that to you." Kurogane growled. "That lady doesn't know what she's talking about. Parents can't be replaced."

Just then, the door swung open. Yuui and Fai were followed by the butler, who was carrying a small metal case.

"Ashura isn't home right now." Fai explained.

The butler took a seat on the bed next to Kurogane and opened the case between them. It contained a single syringe and a small bottle of what Kurogane assumed was the _counter drug_ Yuui had spoken of. Tipping the bottle upside down, he filled the syringe and turned to Syaoran with it.

"I am not a doctor, so this may hurt a little. Understand?"

Syaoran shied away from him a little.

"I'll need your arm." the man went on, ignoring his reaction entirely.

Syaoran didn't seem inclined to let go of Kurogane's shirt any time soon and he stared up at the butler stubbornly.

"Let him do it." Kurogane said, deciding to trust him against the weight of the drug's negative after-effects. But if he did anything funny, Kurogane was going to kill him.

Syaoran gave the butler his right arm, but he quickly reached over to grab Kurogane's shirt with his left.

The butler tied off his arm and made quick work of administering the drug then he returned the needle and pressed a cotton ball to the small bead of blood surfacing on the boy's arm, folding his arm up to keep it in place.

"I have contacted master Ashura." the butler said to Kurogane. "He is bringing a doctor to attend to your injuries."

"That isn't necessary." Kurogane argued back.

"It is." Yuui countered.

"I said it's not." Kurogane snapped.

"Yuui," Fai interjected. "Why don't you take the boy to the bathroom and get him cleaned up…and you too. I'd like to talk with…Kurogane…if that's ok."

Yuui hesitated but finally nodded and went to the bed, lifting the boy into his arms. He smiled when he saw that the boy was holding onto Kurogane's shirt. "Want to take a bath with me?" he asked kindly.

Syaoran looked back at Kurogane.

"Maybe Kuro-rii will join us if we really take our time." Yuui added encouragingly, smiling back at Kurogane.

Kurogane ran a hand through his hair, averting his gaze. "Yeah, maybe."

The butler preceded Yuui through the doorway and Kurogane looked up as the door closed behind them. Fai watched it close, staring at it for a moment before he spoke.

"Are you _really_ the boy from the drug store?"

He turned back around, looking Kurogane square in the eyes. "I know what you told Yuui; that your name is Youou Kurogane but did you really see me back then? It took me a while to remember it, your face, and I think it looks the same, but time can distort things like that so I want to hear you say it. Who are you, really?"

Kurogane heaved a sigh. "Look, all this fairy tale stuff was that guy's idea. My mother knew that store owner, I guess, and she left something for me with him. That's all. I'm not saying that I was somehow destined to meet him or anything…but I won't say everything that's happened has been coincidence either. I'm just saying I wouldn't rely on it for anything."

Fai seemed to study him for a moment before he came forward and took the seat next to Kurogane, leaning down to rest his arms over his knees.

"You know, at first, after we were kidnapped, I would sing lullabies to Yuui at night and he would tell me stories. But after a while, the stories stopped. It wasn't that he couldn't think of them anymore; he just didn't want to tell them. So, when I saw you in the drug store and told Yuui that you were special it was just because…it hurt me to watch him give up hope and I just wanted to give him something to believe in again, something to keep that spark he had in him from dying because, you know, I leeched off of that spark too. I used you for that but, in my defense, you weren't really _real_ then. You were just some kid that we probably wouldn't ever see again."

"I don't see how any of that matters now." Kurogane said.

"Maybe it doesn't." Fai conceded. "I was surprised, that's all." Fai straightened, looking away. "I conveniently forgot all about my brother…and my fairy tale knight saved him. …It kind of makes me sick. But that isn't your fault."

Kurogane _really_ didn't want to be in the middle of this.

"You know…I think that guy…I think Yuui's a lot happier it turned out this way; that you turned out to have lived a good life rather than the one he had to go through."

Fai cringed and Kurogane wished he hadn't spoken at all but he kept on anyway.

"No one can change what he had to go through. You shouldn't belittle it, or his feelings for you, thinking you should have been there with him."

Fai stood slowly, turning to him with a small, hollow smile. "Everything Yuui said about you was true. You really are a good man." Leaning down to him, Fai pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek and whispered softly. "Thank you for taking care of my brother." Then he stood and left the room, leaving the door open behind him.

Kurogane stared after him.

-oOo-

Ashura said nothing of Fei Wong or their excursion in the middle of the night. The incident was never spoken of again, as if Ashura's solution to the situation was simply to sweep it under the rug and ignore it. It was probably for the best, given that the news reports had dubbed the incident as "an act of domestic terrorism".

Fei Wong Reed's body had been found in the remains of the building, triggering speculation as to why the businessman had been there in the first place. The investigation into his murder had given way to an investigation into Fei Wong himself. Knowing that there had been no operational cameras in the area, Kurogane couldn't have cared less. They hadn't killed Fei Wong (whether he'd deserved it or not), they simply had not had the time to help him. He maintained that way of thinking. The weight of death was a heavy burden to carry and Kurogane had no desire to carry it unless he chose to himself.

As for Xing Huo, who had killed Kyle; she had vanished.

Kurogane and Yuui stayed with Ashura for several days, letting it all settle before Kurogane decided that he'd had one too many cups of afternoon tea with the man while Yuui and Fai played with Syaoran and the dogs in wonderland. The only thing they were missing was the talking rabbit and Kurogane wanted to get out of there before it came hopping along (because once he had inadvertently mentioned it and Ashura had offered to have one made – he couldn't tell if the man had been joking or not).

Despite Kurogane's general dislike/distrust of Ashura, however, he _had_ gone far out of his way to do anything within his power to help Yuui. He had gotten both of the twins legal ids and passports and when the time had come to return Syaoran to the children's home he had run away from, Ashura had arranged for the paperwork to be drawn up allowing them to take temporary custody of the child. It was technically considered to be the prerequisite to officially adopting him. Kurogane had initially choked on the idea of adopting a child. He was far too young for that, in his opinion. But Syaoran had held onto the hem of his shirt and when Kurogane had looked down at him, he had found he had little resistance to signing his name to the numerous documents allowing him to stay.

He had asked Yuui for an opinion on the matter but it hadn't been until that night, when he'd found him asleep on the couch in front of the television, Syaoran sleeping alongside him, his head resting in Yuui's lap, that he'd truly known that Yuui had not signed the documents only because he'd been signing them.

oo

Kurogane, Yuui, Fai, and Syaoran left New Chicago on an early flight to California one chill morning in mid September.

The small house in northern California with the tall wooden fence and well-worn mailbox was quiet in the evening. Kurogane knocked on the door, a cool breeze rustling his long coat as he waited patiently for it to open.

The woman who answered the door, cracking it open and peering at him around it, seemed to remember him and her eyes widened a bit apprehensively as she spoke to him. Kurogane couldn't begin to guess what she might have thought of him just then.

"You're the man who came around asking for directions." She tried to look around him and Kurogane sighed wearily, glad he couldn't see the spectacle on her doorstep for himself. "What…do you want?"

He hadn't thought he would have to actually say anything, so he hadn't prepared.

"Hey." he growled at the two hiding behind him.

Slowly, they each stepped out, one after the other, and the woman behind the door had to hold onto it just to support herself as a hand flew to her mouth and tears welled in her eyes, quickly spilling over.

"Momma." Yuui rushed forward as she cried out, throwing his arms around her tightly.

Fai was close behind.

-oOo-

Kurogane, Yuui, and Syaoran took their seats among the strangers seated in the cavernous chapel. Kurogane tugged at the collar of his suit and Yuui swatted his hand down.

"Leave it be." he whispered.

"It's choking me." Kurogane hissed back.

"Then you'll be especially grateful when I take it off later." Yuui replied quietly.

"Are you bribing me…or seducing me?" Kurogane asked. "In a _church_." he added harshly under his breath.

"Both, obviously." Yuui answered, wrinkling his nose as he grinned teasingly.

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Who the hell's taking who's clothes off." he muttered.

The man in front of them turned in his seat, raising an eyebrow at him and Kurogane's face turned bright red. Yuui had to stifle his laughter behind one hand.

"Can I take mine off too?" Syaoran asked from Kurogane's right and the blush went clear to his ears.

"_No!_"

Just then the music began playing and everyone turned their attention to the center aisle where a flower girl had begun the proceedings, walking slowly toward the podium, scattering a handful of small, pink petals at every step, her layered, pale pink dress swaying at every movement.

As she passed by their isle, her small jade green eyes met with Syaoran's. Caught in her gaze, Syaoran only stared back, wide-eyed. She giggled at him, tossing her handful of petals at his feet before moving on.

Syaoran turned his head, watching as she moved on.

"_Wow._" he breathed.

Kurogane and Yuui caught each other's gaze with the same thought. _Sakura._

The flower girl was followed by Touya and Yukito, wearing black and white, respectively, advancing down the aisle arm in arm.

As they passed; Yukito leaned over, waving at them with a broad grin and Yuui waved back happily. Touya even looked over, nodding to them. Kurogane nodded back.

oo

It was a small affair; surely there weren't more than thirty people there, but Kurogane imagined that anyone who mattered to Touya and Yukito were in attendance and that made it all the more sincere, in his opinion.

The priest began the wedding by relating the seriousness of taking legally and morally binding vows. He went on, then, giving his own blessing to the union and since they each had written their own vows, Yukito then began the taking of vows by reciting his to Touya.

Kurogane was trying to pay attention, he really was, but he'd gotten to thinking just then, that if Syaoran wasn't going anywhere things would eventually come to adopting him and while Yuui was surely not going anywhere, things would be a lot easier if he signed those documents with him… The logical approach of convenience made the vague thought forming in his head a little less dramatic but it couldn't mask the way he felt for the blonde twin. Kurogane could not imagine what his life would be like had he not met Yuui. So much had changed in his life; he couldn't go back, nor did he ever want to.

Tuning back into the showcase couple, Kurogane found that Touya had already begun his vows.

"I will share…" Touya was saying, looking levelly into Yukito's eyes, holding his hands between them "all that I have…and all I can give, all that I am…with you."

The priest pronounced them married and declared they could kiss. The guests cheered as the two embraced one another and their lips melded together in the sealing kiss.

Kurogane turned to Yuui, pulling his attention from the scene when he cupped a hand over one cheek. Yuui's clear blue eyes regarded him with hopeful anticipation.

"All that I am." Kuroagne whispered, a promise to the other, pulling him into a warm, passionate kiss.

* * *

~ Afterward and Sometime Later~

"Kuro-ta! I found something amazing!" Yuui was sitting at the computer looking up music files. "I think it's an old dance of some sort. The lyrics are all foreign!"

"If you can't even understand what it says, why would you want it?" Kurogane returned from the next room where he was packing a suitcase. "I told you English songs are fine."

"Because it's _amazing_." Yuui answered, stressing the word. "It's called the Caramel Dance!"

Kurogane paused in his packing. Why did that sound like something that was bound to piss him off?

"I'm gonna play it!" Yuui called, which was followed immediately by a bouncy, upbeat tune.

The music alone was saccharine enough but when the vocals started, a cutesy little girl's voice directing the ridiculous dance; Kurogane wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"You are not playing that at our wedding!" he shouted back.

"_Yeeees!_" Yuui whined back loudly through a laugh he couldn't seem to hold back.

The sound of the door opening and closing interrupted them as Fai walked in with Syaoran.

"Fai! Syaoran!" Yuui cried. "You have to learn this dance!"

Kurogane brought the suitcase to sit beside the others next to the door. "Are you ready yet?" he asked.

"Yeess!" Yuui answered happily.

"Yuui, I'm not sure about this." Fai said. "I've never done anything like this before. Why did you volunteer me for this?"

"He didn't." Kurogane replied, for once, able to defend his fiancé. "As soon as that girl heard he had a twin, she wouldn't shut up about it until he agreed to bring you along. You can tell her no when we get there but if I were you, I'd save myself the headache."

"I conveniently forgot to mention that Tomoyo had plans for him too." Yuui whispered, sliding up to his brother.

"But I thought you said you didn't want to model for her." Fai said, watching Kurogane getting the last of their things together.

"Well, I wasn't going to…" Yuui replied, clasping his hands together behind his back. "In fact, I was really opposed to it at first; but Tomoyo-chan can be very persuasive…and, now that we have a family to support, I want to be able to contribute somehow, you know? Family is the most important thing," Yuui added after a pause "don't you think so Fai?"

Fai gave his brother a withering glare. "I am not leaving Ashura for your fiancé, Yuui."

"Did I say anything?" Yuui asked with false innocence to which Fai sighed. "It's not like I'm bragging about how much better Kuro-sex is in bed or anything."

"How would _you_ know?" Fai returned, challenging.

Yuui shrugged. "I'm making an informed guess based on the virility of youth."

"_Will you stop embarrassing me?_" Kurogane growled, throwing Yuui's coat at him.

"What does _virility_ mean?" Syaoran asked, taking hold of Kurogane's shirt tail.

Kurogane blushed, stooping to help Syaoran into his coat. "Never mind that."

"Kuro-tan, let's hurry!" Yuui exclaimed, linking arms with Fai and pulling him toward the door. "I want to see the Eiffel Tower!"

"Hurrying now isn't going to make the plane land there any faster." Kurogane said, following him out with Syaoran in tow.

"Tell me what it looks like again!" Syaoran pleaded, running to Yuui.

Yuui launched into an animated description of the structure, Fai adding historical facts at various intervals while Kurogane turned to lock the door.

At what point were they supposed to start living that peaceful, quite life Yuui had mentioned, Kurogane wanted to know. Turning back, he watched as the three piled into his black antique model scion, its colorful hood catching the light where the image of a crimson dragon danced with a blue, blazing phoenix. When Yuui had repainted it, he'd even let Syaoran help him paint small twin Mokona on the back windshields, one black and one white.

Coming down the walk, Kurogane smiled to himself. He supposed the peaceful, quiet life could wait.

**THE END**

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Post whatevers: ! I almost forgot! The final song is Caramelldansen by Caramell. (I just learned that this second while looking it up to give you the information on it! I never knew who did it before.) I learned a lot while writing this fic.


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